


Got Your Back

by Miko



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-09
Updated: 2006-04-14
Packaged: 2017-10-21 10:08:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 26
Words: 126,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/224007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miko/pseuds/Miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even the best had to start out somewhere, and everyone needs someone to watch their back on the way up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of people seem worried to finish this because they're afraid it will end with canon events, so I thought I should clarify. This fic does NOT cover the events of Nibelheim, though the ending is such that it could go on to be canon compliant. Or you can do what everyone else seems to want to, and assume it goes AU and ends better than the real events of the game, lol.

If there was one thing Cloud had learned in his five and a half days so far in Shinra's boot camp, it was that drill sergeants must be chosen on the basis of their capacity for sadism. He'd come to join Shinra's army to get stronger; partly so he could be strong for Tifa, but also partly to get away from the bigger kids in Nibelheim who thought they could talk down to him and push him around.

If he'd wanted to get away from bullying, he was discovering, he'd come to the _wrong_ place.

"Cloud! What the hell was that supposed to be?" the sergeant was barking at him now. The man was standing in front of him, so close his spittle was landing on Cloud's face as he yelled. Cloud knew better by now than to do anything to get rid of it or react in any way.

"Sergeant! That was a lunge and parry, sergeant!" he answered, keeping his eyes carefully fixed on a point front and center, about a foot behind the sergeant's pasty face.

"The hell it was!" the sergeant snapped back. "That was the saddest excuse for a lunge I've seen in my entire career. Then again, you're just about the saddest excuse for a recruit I've ever seen, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised, should I?"

"Yes sergeant!" Cloud had also learned better than to try to argue or - Odin forbid - make excuses. If the sword was too heavy for him, if he was drooping with exhaustion after an afternoon spent doing endurance drills in the hot summer heat, if his arm was aching so much from yesterday's drills he could hardly lift a fork, let alone his sword... well, as the sergeant would be happy to point out, those were all good reasons for Cloud to drop out and give up 'like the pathetic loser he was'.

Dropping out and giving up weren't options Cloud was willing to consider, however. At first it had been because he'd been so determined to make himself stronger. Now, it was at least as much from a desire to prove the sergeant wrong and make him eat his words.

"And you!" The man turned on Cloud's current sparring partner, a tall dark-haired boy probably a couple of years older than him. "You're damn lucky he's so incompetent. You left a hole in your defence so wide I could summon Bahamut through it! Do you _want_ to find yourself eviscerated?"

"No sergeant!" Cloud couldn't actually see the other cadet without moving his eyes, but he could hear the smile in the older boy's voice. So could the drill sergeant, though Cloud was certain Zack wasn't stupid enough to let the amusement actually show on his face.

"Drop and give me twenty, both of you! Then get your pansy asses in gear and start swinging those swords like they're weapons, not conducting batons!"

"Yes sergeant!" Their response came in unison, but Zack's answer was much more cheerful than Cloud's had been, bordering on irreverent. So far as Cloud had been able to determine, there was literally nothing that would cause Zack to lose his good cheer. The sergeant certainly seemed to have made it a personal mission to try, which at least gave Cloud some relief from the man's attentions.

On the other hand, Zack had good reason to be cheerful. Scuttlebutt in the camp said that Zack was already being scouted by officers as a candidate for the SOLDIER program. He was the best in their squad, probably the best in the entire boot camp, and everybody knew he was going to end up as an officer at the very least. Pissy drill sergeants aside, Zack had no cause to be anything less than cheerful.

Some days Cloud hated him for it. Especially when he had to drill with Zack, because it just made him look even more frail and incompetent than he was. As they both dropped to their hands and toes and started doing the required push ups, Cloud could already tell Zack was going to be finished in half the time he was.

"What in Hades' name are the rest of you lily-livered pansies looking at?" he heard the sergeant bellow. "Get back to your drills!" There was a scramble of motion as everyone else renewed their efforts at the sword drill, not wanting to be the next one singled out for abuse.

"I wonder if drill sergeants start out that mean, or if it's a process they go through like the one that makes SOLDIERs?" came an unexpected whisper from beside him. Cloud glanced over, surprised to see Zack grinning at him between push ups.

"It's gotta be special training," he muttered back. "Nobody's that mean naturally."

"Maybe that's what's behind the rumours of monsters appearing in the wilds outside Midgar," Zack said thoughtfully. "It's really just the retired drill sergeants getting frustrated because they don't have anybody to pick on."

That startled Cloud into a snicker. He did his best to muffle it and turn it into a cough, but he was too late. "I'm glad you find your punishment so amusing!" the sergeant said, coming back to stand in front of him. Cloud groaned internally. "Since you're enjoying it so much, maybe you'll find KP duty just as entertaining!"

Great. He was going to starve because he wouldn't have enough strength left in his arms to feed himself, and get no sleep because of being on KP. Cloud had already been assigned Kitchen Patrol once this week; the camp cooks had a seemingly infinite pile of vegetables that needed chopping and peeling, and they were more than happy to put a wayward cadet to work for half the night or more. "Thanks a lot!" he hissed at Zack as the sergeant moved away again and the older boy was climbing to his feet.

"Hey, I..." Whatever Zack had been about to say was cut off as the sergeant bellowed for him again.

"Zack! Get over here and train with Thomas. At this rate Miss Cloud there won't be done until the drill session is over."

"Yes sergeant!" Zack replied smartly, and marched off to the indicated spot. Cloud noticed the other boy's steps didn't drag in the least; if he was tired after the long day of training, he wasn't showing it. Just one more thing to resent the Golden Boy for.

He did finish the push ups before the drill session was over, but he didn't fare much better against his new sparring partner. Either Zack was performing well enough that the sergeant couldn't find anything to fault, or the man had decided it was 'pick on Cloud' open season, because he never moved more than a few feet from Cloud for the rest of the session. And, of course, he was more than happy to point out Cloud's long list of mistakes and failings loudly enough to be sure everyone in the whole bloody camp heard him.

Cloud ground his teeth and refused to even listen, concentrating everything he had into the next swing of the sword. And the next, and the next after that, in an endless repetition that seemed like it would never be over.

 _Finally_ the trilling whistle that signalled the changing of the guard came, and that meant their drill session was over. Cloud didn't drop his sword or let the point drag in the dust, he'd learned that lesson on their first day. He slid the sabre gratefully back into the sheath at his waist and formed up with the rest of his squad to be dismissed.

Pacing back and forth in front of their lines, the sergeant eyed them with his hands folded behind his back. "Congratulations," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You all have made it through six days of training. Clearly our standards have fallen drastically." He shook his head. "Tomorrow is your last day of boot camp. Those of you who make it through tomorrow will have earned the right to call yourselves privates in Shinra Corp's army."

Pausing, he eyed them all slowly. "Don't start celebrating just yet," the sergeant warned. "Tomorrow will be harder than all six days you've been through combined, and then some. Shinra is not interested in funding a corps of whining babies who run back to their mamas at the first sign of hardship, which is about all you lot add up to. We will be putting you through hell, and we will be testing you to your limits and beyond. Not all of you will make it to the end of the day."

Now Cloud was certain the man was staring straight at him, though he didn't dare turn his eyes to check. His jaw clenched, and his hand tightened on the hilt of the sword. The thought of a day worse than everything so far was nearly enough to break him... but not quite. He'd come this far, there was no way in hell he was backing down now.

"Dismissed!" the sergeant finally barked, and the cadets turned in their lines to march smartly off in formation.

Of course, the formation broke up into little straggling groups as soon as they were out of the room. None of the groups included Cloud; he'd never been good at making friends, and he hadn't had the energy to spare to even make the attempt while he was trying to survive boot camp. He picked up his pace despite his exhaustion, not wanting to linger and watch everyone else laughing and having fun.

Showering was a noisy, crowded affair. Cloud didn't think he would ever get used to bathing in front of so many people, but it was just another thing he had to grit his teeth and bear. It wasn't like it was difficult, just embarrassing. He wasn't really all that short, but he was still half the size of some of his squad in terms of sheer mass.

At least being the scrawny runt meant it was easy for him to worm his way through the press of bodies and find an empty space big enough for him at one of the nozzles. He washed himself quickly but thoroughly, wanting to get to the mess as fast as possible. If he got there early enough, he could claim a seat to himself in a corner and not get stuck among a bunch of laughing, chattering men who didn't particularly want him there.

The food the cooks plopped down on his tray looked unappetizing at best, inedible at worst. Cloud was used to it by now, though, and took what was given to him without complaint. Some of the others weren't so resigned; he could hear more than one voice protesting the glop, and the sharp retorts of the cooks.

Settling himself into his preferred quiet corner, he started shovelling the crap into his mouth, trying to ignore the aching protest of his much-abused arm. Normally he hurried through his meals so he wouldn't have to taste the awful stuff any longer than necessary, but tonight he was in no rush. Once he was done he had to report for KP, and every minute spent lingering over his meal was one less he'd have to spend peeling vegetables.

No one had ever disturbed him in his solitude before, so he was more than a little shocked when somebody dropped a tray on the table in front of him and plopped down onto the bench. Somehow he wasn't entirely surprised to see who it was.

"What do you want?" he asked, more curtly than he'd really intended.

Zack gave him a soulful look, like Cloud's abruptness had hurt his feelings. "Look, I didn't mean to get you in trouble. Honest. Sarge finds enough flaws to pick on without us handing them to him on a silver platter. I'm sorry."

It was hard to stay mad in the face of such a sincere apology, especially since Cloud was fairly certain the older boy really hadn't intended it maliciously. "It's fine," he said, prodding at a lump of what he thought might be mashed potatoes, not looking up to meet Zack's eyes. "If it wasn't that, it would have been something else. He likes to make certain I'm aware that I'm the worst in the squad."

"Sure, but you've been the worst in the squad since day one, and you're still here," Zack commented cheerfully. "Half the people who started out with us have packed it in already. And I bet they're not going to be able to chase you off tomorrow either, are they?"

Startled, Cloud made the mistake of lifting his head and was immediately caught in the older boy's gaze. For all that he'd just insulted Cloud, there was an odd sort of earnestness in his eyes. "Look, you made your apology and I accepted it," Cloud said gruffly. "You don't have to stay here and eat with me just to show how sorry you are, or because you're taking pity on me or whatever the hell you're doing."

"Is that what you think?" Zack sounded amused rather than offended as Cloud ducked his head to stare at his tray again. "You don't have many friends back home, do you?"

"That's twice in as many breaths that you've insulted me," Cloud said, getting angry. "Would you just go away and leave me in peace?"

His anger wasn't helped any when Zack merely chuckled and propped his chin on his hands, his elbows on the table. "Ramuh, but you're a prickly little thing, aren't you? Look, I like you okay? I've been watching you since about our third day here, and you've got a lot of spirit."

"That's a polite way of implying that spirit is all I've got," Cloud pointed out between gritted teeth. "I'm sure you enjoy the fact that being around me makes you look that much better, but you don't really need the boost to your ego. You're already the Golden Boy."

"Heh. Is that what they're calling me?" Zack snickered, having apparently missed the point of Cloud's rant entirely. "That should be your nickname, not mine. I've never seen hair that blonde before. You'd better tuck in, or you'll just be hungry when you're still peeling carrots at oh-dark-hundred."

Suiting action to words, Zack started eating with every evidence of enthusiasm. Cloud couldn't help but watch him with a sort of sick fascination. "How can you eat that stuff like it actually tastes good?"

Chuckling, Zack swallowed and grinned at him. "I spent a while in the Midgar slums before I signed up. Trust me, compared to what's available down there this _is_ good. You been down there yet?"

Shaking his head, Cloud went back to eating his own meal. He didn't bother to answer, not wanting to encourage the older boy in conversation. Zack seemed to catch his mood, or maybe the brunette was just that hungry, because he went back to cleaning his plate without another word.

Zack went back for seconds, but returned to his place across from Cloud as if they'd always sat together. Even so he was finished at about the same time Cloud was, inhaling the food like a human vortex. "Do you always eat like that?" Cloud couldn't help blurting out.

"Sure," Zack grinned at him again. "I'm a growing boy after all. Aren't you hungry? You're nothing but skin and bones, and you look like you've got a lot of growing left to do yet."

"I'm always hungry," Cloud admitted, a little ruefully. "This stuff is just awful. I hope they serve the troops better food than they give the cadets, or I'm going to starve to death in my first week."

"Miss your mama's cooking, huh?" Zack's smile became sympathetic. "Me too. My mom was such a great cook, I could stuff myself on her food and never get enough. It's a good thing I left as young as I did, or I'd have eaten my parents out of house and home. But I do miss it. She made the _best_ cherry cobbler this side of... well, anywhere..."

Somehow, Cloud realized as he stood and gathered his tray while Zack chattered on, he'd been drawn into an actual conversation with the other boy even though he hadn't meant to. Zack was like a fire spell; bright and passionate and impossible to ignore, burning you without meaning to but you wanted to get close and warm your hands anyway.

It wasn't until Zack actually followed him through the door to the kitchens after they'd deposited their trays that Cloud realized the older boy seemed perfectly willing to trail him all the way to his punishment duty. "Where are you going?" he interrupted the stream of cheerful words.

"KP duty," Zack said, as if it should have been obvious.

"What? Why?" Cloud was mystified. Surely he'd have remembered if they'd given Zack KP at some point during the day. It wasn't like the sergeant pulled them aside privately to hand out punishments. "You're not the one who got in trouble."

"No, but I'm the one who made you get in trouble," Zack shrugged. "If I hadn't been mouthing off you'd have been fine. So I'm going too. It'll make the work go faster."

"You're crazy, you know that?" Shaking his head, Cloud stared up at him. "It's not like having you there will get me out any sooner. They'll keep me until they feel like letting me go, not until I've done a specific amount of work."

"Yeah, sure, but having company always makes the work go faster. Besides," Zack winked at him. "Us backwater hicks gotta stick together." He started towards the kitchens again while Cloud was still trying to formulate an answer to that. "You're from Nibelheim, right? I recognize the accent."

"How did you...?" Cloud trailed off, mystified. Sure, he had enough of an accent that everyone could tell he was from the western continent. But most people in Midgar didn't seem able to distinguish between the subtleties of foreign accents.

"I'm from Gongaga," Zack confided. "Trust me, when I got here my drawl was as bad as yours. In a year or two yours'll wear off too. So, like I said, hick solidarity. Now get your feet moving, soldier. The sooner you get to the kitchens, the more likely the cooks are to let you off at something approximating a more reasonable hour."

Helplessly Cloud found himself following along behind. He revised his earlier comparison; Zack wasn't like a fire spell, he was like the Typhoon summon they'd seen an officer demonstrate the other day. He just picked you up and swept you along with him, and all you could do was hope you came out the other side in one piece.

The cooks didn't question being presented with two cadets for KP rather than just one, and shortly both Zack and Cloud were ensconced on the most uncomfortable stools Cloud had ever encountered. Cloud was peeling the first of a truly impressive pile of potatoes, and Zack was chopping greens. Somewhat to Cloud's disbelief and irritation, Zack was actually humming softly under his breath as he worked, tapping one foot idly along with the beat.

"Never fails to amaze me how they can take perfectly good ingredients and turn it into the nameless sludge they feed us in the mess," Zack said after a few moments. "If I wasn't looking at these veggies myself, I'd have said there wasn't a single bit of real food in that slop. Maybe this goes to the officers?"

"I challenge your definition of 'perfectly good'," Cloud replied, holding up one particularly sorry specimen of potato for proof. This one was especially bad, shrunken and wizened like it had never had a chance to grow properly, but none of them were likely to win any prizes. "Where do they grow these, in a cave?"

"Farms outside Midgar," Zack replied, his tone more sober than Cloud had yet heard it. The change surprised him, and he looked at the older boy more closely. "Pretty soon they're going to have to give up on the home farms and start shipping it in, I think. Nothing grows properly around here any more. The soil dries out more every year, and they don't know why." He shrugged. "Good news for farming communities elsewhere, not so good news for the people beneath the plate who can barely afford food prices as it is."

Like a dog shaking off water, Zack tossed his head and shed the sombre mood he'd briefly slipped into. Cloud watched the change with fascination. So there was more to Zack than the hyperactive incessantly cheerful Golden Boy after all.

"Speaking of living under the plate," he said, pointing the knife at Cloud with a mock-accusatory look. "How in Hades' name did you convince the recruiters you were old enough to sign on?"

Caught off guard, Cloud sputtered. "Hey! What makes you think I lied about my age?" he asked indignantly. "Maybe I'm just short!" Half of his indignation came from the fact that he _had_ lied, of course. But when he'd gotten to Midgar and found out you had to be sixteen to sign on, he'd just about died.

"Bullshit," Zack said in a conversational tone. "Kid, _I_ am just barely old enough to be here, and there's no way in hell you're my age. You look like I did when I got here at fourteen, at least, I don't think I was any scrawnier than you then. I spent a year and a half after I got here living in sector 5, coming up to the recruiting office every month to try to convince them I was old enough, and they weren't having any. How'd you do it?"

The image of Zack as a kid as small as Cloud was, harassing the poor recruiting officers, was enough to make him laugh. "Come off it, you were never as small as I am," he said, sure of this much. He'd thought Zack was eighteen at least; if he really was just sixteen, he was the best muscled sixteen-year-old Cloud had ever met.

"No seriously, I was," Zack insisted with a grin. "Little shrimp right off the boat, Gongagan accent so thick nobody could understand me, and it was the shock of my life that I was too young to sign on. All my big dreams of winning fame and fortune as a SOLDIER hadn't included having to wait around to be old enough."

Cloud flushed and ducked his head, hoping Zack wouldn't read on his face that he'd gone through exactly the same thought process. He hadn't yet admitted to anyone here that he wanted to be a SOLDIER, because he just _knew_ they would laugh at him. They laughed at him enough for just wanting to be an ordinary trooper, he wasn't going to give them free ammunition.

"Anyway, there I was without a penny to my name, since I'd stowed on board the ship to get to Junon and walked to Midgar," Zack was continuing, waving his knife around for emphasis in a way that would have made Cloud worried except for his certainty that Zack knew exactly where it was at all times. "Half starved, freezing because it was the middle of winter and I'm from a place that's never even _seen_ snow, and being told 'Thanks for your interest, come back when you're older'. I lucked out and managed to find enough work to keep me fed and sheltered down in sector 5, and now that I'm _finally_ sixteen they let me in." He pointed the knife at Cloud again. "So? How'd you do it?"

There was some satisfaction in knowing he'd managed to do something that Golden Boy Zack had failed at. Cloud's lips twitched despite himself as he admitted, "I set up camp at the recruiting office door and refused to budge until they signed my paperwork. They had to go in and out through the back door, nobody could get past me. They threatened to shoot me a couple times, but finally a visiting officer said if I was that determined, they should just let me go kill myself in training."

"You... you _camped out_..." Zack stared at him with his mouth open, knife drooping in his hand, then burst out laughing. "You stubborn son of a bitch! That's one thing I never tried, for sure. And I thought I was being a pain in the ass coming back every month."

The older boy was actually crying with laughter now, and he dropped the knife on the counter so he could wrap his arms around his stomach and wheeze. Cloud watched, utterly nonplussed. Surely it wasn't _that_ funny.

"Cloud, don't let them _ever_ convince you that you're not good enough to be here," Zack said when he finally started to calm down, wiping his eyes. "You're trying for SOLDIER, am I right?"

Looking away, Cloud swallowed. Zack was still chuckling, but he didn't seem to be laughing _at_ Cloud, or at least not at his dream. "Yeah," he acknowledged gruffly. "I made a promise to myself."

"Then you're going to do it, because fucking hell I've never met anybody with your determination." Cloud couldn't see Zack's expression, but the tone of his voice was almost... admiring? "They're gonna try to shoot you down, but if you stick with it you'll make it eventually." Zack nudged him in the shin with the toe of his boot, and Cloud looked back at him. The older boy was grinning. "We'll do it together, okay? You and me, we'll take SOLDIER by storm."

"Why do you _care_?" Cloud burst out, unable to contain himself any more. "What difference does it make to you what I want to be? You're going to make it, everybody knows that. They're already talking about how you might even make 1st Class. What do you need me for?"

"To watch my back, of course," Zack said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Everyone's gotta have someone to watch their back, if they plan to get anywhere. Besides," he flashed his incorrigible grin again, "I want to have a friend, someone I know I can count on. And so far you're the only person I've met in this whole damn camp who seems worth the effort."

Staring at him for a long moment, Cloud tried to find his voice. His brain seemed to have shut down sometime during that little speech, and the words just weren't coming. "You're nuts," he finally managed. "Everyone will be happy to tell you so, too. I'm just going to slow you down."

"If ninety percent of people are telling you that you're doing something wrong, then you probably made the right choice," Zack informed him cheerfully. "I don't really care what people think of me, or my friends. I told you before, I like you. I want to be your friend. If you don't want to, that's fine. But don't tell me the guy who argued the Shinra recruiting office into taking him years too early is gonna let the opinions of a bunch of jealous jerks dictate who his friends are."

Once again Cloud found himself lost for words. Slowly he shook his head. "I still think you're crazy," he said, hoping his voice wasn't wobbling too much. Had he ever had a friend? A real friend, not just someone he _wanted_ to be close to, like Tifa? "But if you're happy being crazy, I'm not going to argue with you."

Clearing his throat, he shrugged and turned back to his potatoes, not wanting to let the rather sappy moment stretch out to the point where it would be embarrassing. More embarrassing, rather. "Now start chopping, or they'll never let us get back to our bunks," he ordered roughly. "We've got a hard day tomorrow."


	2. Chapter 2

True to the sergeant's prediction, when they formed up in the early afternoon there were fewer people in the ranks than there had been the day before. Cloud was so exhausted he could barely hold his arm up to help him dress the line against Zack next to him. Even Zack looked tired, his face streaked with blood from where he'd gotten a minor head wound and hadn't had a chance to clean it up.

They hadn't had a chance to do _anything_ but what the sergeants ordered them to do. They'd been rousted out of bed even before the (already obscenely early, in Cloud's opinion) reveille sounded, and herded off to a series of written exams to show how much they'd managed to absorb of what they'd been taught. Trying to think on an empty stomach and maybe three hours of sleep hadn't been pleasant, and Cloud was a little nervous about his results.

Ten minutes to grab breakfast, which consisted of the nearly inedible field rations, and then they were off again. Drills, sparring, obstacle course, endurance run, shooting range... everything they'd done over the whole week, crammed into the morning and early afternoon.

Several people had dropped from sheer exhaustion. Others had taken injuries once weariness made them start getting sloppy; Zack's head wound had come from an argument he'd lost with some iron spikes on the obstacle course, and Cloud's side was aching from a fall from the climbing rope in the endurance test.

He wasn't sure how it was that he wasn't one of the people who'd succumbed to exhaustion. His body was telling him in no uncertain terms that it would be happy to do so, but he'd refused to give up. Mostly he'd concentrated on just following Zack, and during the times he fell behind he focused on catching up again.

Having someone to work with, to challenge and follow and watch each other's backs, was a new experience for Cloud. He was deciding it was one he really liked.

They'd just come off the endurance run, and their lines were a bit more ragged than was strictly regulation. There was a lot of panting and stifled moans, but everyone here had made it through two thirds of the day. Surely the last third couldn't be as bad? Cloud wasn't even sure what they had left to be tested on.

The captain in charge of the camp was standing at the front of the formation, waiting for them to finish dressing ranks so he could call them to attention again. "I suppose you all think you're getting lunch now," was the unpromising beginning to his speech.

Cloud's stomach dropped, and beside him he thought he heard Zack muffle a groan. Breakfast had been a long time ago, and they'd been expending a lot of energy. He was starving, and considering the way Zack ate he was probably even hungrier.

"In the field, you may not always have access to supplies," the captain continued. "The enemy will not schedule their attacks so as to give you a convenient lunch break. If you can't perform under these conditions, then you are not worthy to wear the Shinra uniform."

Turning, he gestured at the building behind him. They'd all been trucked into the main Shinra compound; this was one of the smaller outlying buildings. Possibly a warehouse of some kind, Cloud thought, or maybe offices. "Your mission today is data recovery. There is a vital piece of information on a disk in the safe of one of the offices. Some of our real soldiers have been stationed inside the building, to simulate security you might run into if this were a real raid on an enemy compound. Squad leaders will be given the map with the target marked on it; other than that you're on your own. Squads with less than five remaining will be matched up with other small squads. Each squad has a different route to the target; if you stray too far from your route you will be penalized."

There were six people still in Cloud's squad, including him and Zack. The squad leader, of course, was Zack, so at least he didn't have to worry about his leader 'accidentally' misplacing him or otherwise doing something that would cause him to fail.

"The guns you are being issued contain paint pellet ammunition," the captain said. "Your enemies are armed with the same. Be aware that the paint pellets can cause severe damage when fired at close range. Collect your guns and maps, and line up by squad number."

There was a general movement towards the nearby tables stacked with rifles, and it was only marginally orderly. Apparently they were allowed to discuss things, because the officers were making no move to curb the murmurs that had already started. "Well, it could be a lot worse," Zack said cheerfully. "The way they've been driving us today, it wouldn't have surprised me much if we'd been given real ammo! This sounds like fun."

"Fun for you, maybe," Cloud groaned. "I'm ready to drop."

Grinning at him, Zack clapped him on the shoulder. "The faster we get in there and get our target, the faster we get out, pass, and can go rest. I'm tired too, trust me."

They accepted their guns and Zack received their map, and they took their place in line. They were Squad 3, so at least they wouldn't have very long to wait. "All right, it sounds like the squads ahead of us are planning to charge in with guns blazing," Zack said as they huddled together to plan strategy. "We're going to try a stealth approach. It'll be less work for us, less likely to get any of us 'killed', and if we can avoid some of the enemies I'll bet we get extra points. Any objections?"

Nobody had any, so he nodded and moved on. "Good. I'll take point. Lucas, you take rear guard, Terry and Cloud flanking. Watt and Ryan, you'll be centre and in charge of the map. Cloud is second in command; if anything happens to me you follow him, got it?"

Startled, Cloud gaped at Zack, his face turning bright red. Their squadmates were no less surprised, and not entirely happy with the pronouncement. "I'm squad leader, and those are my orders," Zack said quietly, with no hint of cheer in his voice for once. "If you don't like it, you'd better pick another squad leader."

Since Zack was the current leader specifically because he had been the only one everyone could agree on, there wasn't much to be said to that. Cloud got a couple of resentful looks, but there wasn't time to say anything more. Two minutes had passed since the second squad went in, and now it was their turn.

Once inside, Cloud pushed his worries and fears off to one side, determined to concentrate on living up to Zack's belief in him. The hallways were dim, as if it were night in the compound they were raiding; that suited their stealth approach just fine.

Whispered directions from the middle led them through the labyrinth of offices. On the right flank, Cloud kept his finger on his rifle trigger and paid sharp attention to everything on that side. Zack would approach each intersection first, crouched low so he wouldn't get shot the moment he poked his head around the corner. Once he'd confirmed the way was clear, he would wave the rest of them forward.

They successfully avoided two enemy patrols that way, waiting until they'd passed by before crossing the intersection behind them. Cloud was just starting to think they might actually get through this with no casualties when there was a muffled exclamation from Terry. "Left!"

One of the office doors had been slightly open, and even as Terry called the warning three men in Shinra guard uniforms burst out with their guns blazing. Cloud swung his rifle around, but there were three people between him and them and he couldn't risk shooting for fear of causing friendly fire.

Biting his lip, he deliberately turned his back on the attack and turned his attention back to the right flank. The noise of the rifles might bring other guards, and if they were all focused on the current enemy they'd never see it coming.

Turning his back was still the hardest thing he'd ever done. He had to trust his squadmates to deal with it and watch his back. Two paint pellets whizzed past him, one actually brushing against his uniform sleeve, but they spattered harmlessly on the wall.

Just at that moment, another pair of guards rounded the corner of the next intersection and came running for them. "Zack!" Cloud shouted, half panicked as he lifted his rifle to his shoulder and fired. His aim was off, but he managed to hit one of the approaching men in the leg. In real life it probably would have been a minor flesh wound, but it was enough to make him hesitate for a moment.

A 'fatal' moment. There was the sharp crack of a rifle firing from his left, then again in quick succession, and both of the approaching men sprouted red paint over their hearts.

"Nice shooting, kid," one of them called, rubbing his chest ruefully. Turning his head, he saw Zack shoulder his rifle and wave a grinning acknowledgement. There was no sound of fighting behind him; turning further, Cloud saw that the other enemies were down as well. Terry was on the floor hunched over his stomach, looking pained, and Cloud thought he could see real blood among the red dye on Watt's sleeve. He remembered what the captain had said about the damage the pellets could do at close range, and shuddered.

"I know you're all disappointed not to have any more enemies to play with, but let's not stand around waiting for the next batch," Zack drawled. "Terry, you're 'dead', we'll have to leave you here. We'll come back for your body on the way out if we can." He glanced at their other casualty. "Watt, can you continue?"

"I'll have to fire left-handed, but I'll manage," the man said, his face pale as Ryan finished tying a quick bandage around his upper arm.

"You take the map then, and Ryan will have the left flank," Zack declared. "Let's go. The sooner we finish, the sooner we can get you two help."

Cloud tried to keep his breathing quiet as they continued down the halls, but he could feel his heart pounding in his chest and knew he probably still sounded a little panicked. Zack gave him one reassuring grin, then focused his attention on getting them where they were going with no more casualties.

They ran into one more patrol, but this time they were the ones who sprang an ambush and they shot down the men with no trouble. "Almost there!" Zack crowed, his eyes bright as he bounced slightly on the balls of his feet. "One more corner and it's the office at the end of the hall, right?"

"Yeah," Watt agreed, checking the map. Cloud was impressed. Zack remembered the route after only having the map for a few minutes?

"Be careful, there's probably more security at the office itself," Zack cautioned them. "I don't see any sign of the first two squads, though. We might even be the first ones here."

"Let's hope they don't come charging up behind us and alert the guards just as we're sneaking out," Cloud muttered, and the others grumbled agreement.

Zack edged forward as they approached the next corner, and the rest of them fell back as agreed. There was nothing but blank wall on the right, so Cloud turned his attention to the front. As a result, he saw the way Zack suddenly ducked back around the corner and plastered himself to the wall, looking like he'd just seen a ghost.

"Holy Alexander," the older boy murmured. "That's not fair!"

"What? Is there a whole platoon there or something?" Cloud whispered back, wondering what could have shaken Zack like that. Wordlessly the older boy shook his head, and Cloud crept forward to get a look of his own.

It wasn't hard to figure out what had set Zack off. Pacing up and down the narrow hall in front of the door they needed to reach was the Silver General himself. At least, Cloud was fairly certain it was really him. Surely nobody else had silver hair like that, or would have the nerve to wear that uniform?

Sephiroth wasn't paying any attention to his surroundings, just walking back and forth as if he was deep in thought - or possibly just bored waiting for the squads to get there, Cloud thought. He jerked back around the corner and plastered himself to the wall much like Zack had.

"It's Sephiroth," Zack whispered back to the rest of the group, having apparently recovered a bit. He was still wide-eyed and a little pale, but he had himself back under control.

" _Sephiroth_?" Ryan almost squeaked. "That's... that's insane! How are we supposed to get past him?"

"Maybe it's just someone in a wig and a costume," Cloud suggested, though he didn't think that was the case. There had been something, some indefinable quality to the man that had him convinced it was the real thing. The way he walked, maybe; all coiled tension and barely restrained power like a panther prowling for prey. Normal people just didn't move like that.

"No, it's really him," Zack shook his head, probably thinking much the same things Cloud was. "I'd stake my life on it. Damn it, this is completely unfair. Don't they want _anyone_ to pass this test? Sephiroth so far outclasses us that..."

A thought seemed to strike him, and he halted in mid sentence. "Wait, maybe that's it," he said slowly. "In an enemy compound, if we came up against superior firepower, we wouldn't be able to just go back to our commanders and whine about how it's not fair. Maybe the test isn't getting the document. Maybe it's to see whether we're willing to risk everything to follow orders."

"We're still gonna get _killed_ if we go out there after the Demon of Wutai," Lucas protested. "And I don't mean 'killed' like Terry was!"

"You go ahead and fail then," Zack said, his eyes alight with determination. "I'm going after that disk. Who's with me?"

 _'I'm out,'_ Cloud had intended to say. There was no way in hell he wanted to go up against the Silver General. What came out of his mouth instead was "I've got your back."

Appalled at himself, he nearly bit his tongue. Well, he'd come this far... it would be really stupid to back down now, he supposed. Zack nodded as if he'd never doubted that Cloud would be coming, and looked at the others. "Anyone else?"

Their squadmates looked at each other uneasily, and shook their heads one by one. "We'll guard your retreat," Lucas offered. "It'd be stupid if you got past him and got the disk and then got shot down on your way out."

"Fair enough," Zack shrugged, though it was clear from his tone that he'd already mentally dismissed the lot of them. "C'mon Cloud, let's go take the first step to SOLDIER."

Almost shaking with nerves, Cloud nodded and followed him. The others remained behind, watching them go with a certain amount of disbelief. Cloud couldn't blame them. "Are we going to try to sneak up on him?" he asked softly, his voice trembling.

"Nah. No point," Zack said. "Hell, he probably already knows we're here. We'll jump out at him when he gets to the part of his pacing closest to us. I'll charge him; you're smaller, so you concentrate on getting by him to the door, okay?"

"I'll hit him from behind," Cloud replied, a little more firmly. "I'm not letting you sacrifice yourself. I don't want to have to lead them out of here!"

"You'll be fine," Zack assured him absently, concentrating on watching Sephiroth pace to judge their best moment. "Ready?" Cloud hefted his rifle, trying to ignore the way his hands were shaking. "Three... two... one... Go!"

They burst out from their concealment, Zack yelling a fierce battle cry and Cloud just doing his best not to scream in terror. He fired wildly, unable to aim but hoping a lucky shot might actually connect.

Sephiroth had been turned away to start his pacing back towards the door. He spun to face them, a whirl of silver hair and black leather. For just an instant, Cloud thought he saw an expression of surprise on the general's face, as if they'd actually caught him off guard. Surely that couldn't be right?

He didn't have a chance to wonder further, because suddenly everything went to hell. There was a flash of magic and Zack cried out as he was flung into the wall hard enough to leave a sizeable dent. He slumped to the floor, dazed or unconscious, bleeding from the reopened head wound.

Cloud didn't have time to worry about him though. Sephiroth had grabbed him around the neck and lifted him right off his feet, and his every thought was focused on just trying to get enough air past that crushing grip.

Glowing, inhuman green eyes stared down at him; somehow Cloud managed to spare the brainpower to marvel that even holding him up off the ground, Sephiroth was _still_ taller than him. The general's gaze flicked over Cloud's uniform and the paint spatters on his own leather jacket, then returned to Cloud's face. "You have spectacularly bad taste in pranks, cadet."

The general's deep voice was soft, but somehow all the more menacing because of it. Cloud's eyes widened. "Prank?" he squeaked around the constriction of his throat. "Uhhh... Zack! I don't think he's part of the test!"

His voice was hoarse and almost incomprehensible, and he wasn't sure Zack was awake to hear him anyway, but he did get a response. "Test?" the general repeated, one eyebrow raised.

"Boot camp... final exam," came a wheezing voice to the side. Rolling his eyes as far as he could, Cloud could just see Zack shoving himself gingerly into a sitting position against the wall. He was holding his arm against his ribs, and taking tiny, shallow little breaths. "Supposed to... retrieve a disk... in that office. Thought you were... the last test... sir." From the way he was talking, having to force each word out as if it was an effort to think, Cloud suspected Sephiroth had hit him with a Slow spell.

"I see." Cloud's feet touched the ground again as the general lowered him and let go of his neck, but his legs wouldn't support him. He collapsed to his hands and knees, trying to draw in air past the bruising in his throat. Sephiroth looked down at them, his expression now more neutral than angry. "Well, that explains why I was actually able to get the quiet I wanted. I suppose they cordoned off the building after I got here, and nobody who saw me would have presumed to question my presence."

"Y'picked the wrong... hallway for quiet, sir." The Slow was wearing off and Zack seemed to be getting his breath back a bit, but Cloud couldn't catch his no matter how hard he tried. The older boy frowned at him in concern. "Hey Cloud, can you breathe?"

Shaking his head, Cloud fought for what air he could get through the swelling. There was a soft murmur above him and cool green energy rushed over him. It bubbled and sparkled, and seemed to wipe away not only the bruise around his throat but the ones on his side. It even left him feeling energized, as if he hadn't just spent the whole day in ridiculously tiring training.

Beside him he heard Zack draw a cautious deep breath, and realized the general had used a Restore materia on them both. A fairly high level one, if it had healed Zack's broken ribs as well. "Thank you, sir!" Cloud said, managing an awkward salute as he scrambled to his feet and Zack followed suit.

"As you were," Sephiroth said automatically, then paused. With a faint smile, he added, "Well, perhaps not, all things considered. At ease, then."

Zack made a small choking noise, and Cloud stared at the general as they moved to the parade ground rest position. Had the great General Sephiroth actually made a joke?

The man studied them, almost curiously. "I apologize for hurting you," he said formally, which made Cloud's eyes bug out even more. First a joke, and now an _apology_? He hoped the rest of the squad was close enough to hear this conversation, because nobody was ever going to believe this. "Perhaps I'm misremembering, but aren't these exercises generally conducted in squads with several men?" Sephiroth arched an eyebrow at them.

"Sir, yes sir," Zack answered. "The rest of our squad hung back to provide covering fire for us, sir."

"Oh?" Sephiroth glanced down the empty hall, then back at them. "I don't recall any covering fire."

"Well, you see sir," Zack explained with a perfectly straight face, "The point of covering fire is that the people covering you are out of range themselves. Your range is a lot farther than our rifles, sir, so they had a bit of a problem."

Once again they were treated to the sight of a faint smile on the general's face. "I see. I suppose there will be other squads along shortly as well?"

"Most likely, sir," Zack agreed.

"I won't keep you from your task, then." Sephiroth moved past them, but paused once more. "What are your names?"

"Zack, sir," the older boy answered.

"Cloud, sir," Cloud put in as well.

Sephiroth nodded. "Finish the exercise, then. Shinra can use people with your courage and determination."

With that he was gone, fortunately taking a different path than the one where their squadmates were hiding. Assuming the rest of the squad hadn't fled the moment Sephiroth seemed to be attacking them in earnest. Zack let out an explosive breath, and Cloud gasped and leaned against the nearest wall to keep from collapsing again.

"Holy fucking Alexander," Zack murmured, staring after the general with an awed look. "I can't believe that just happened."

"I can't believe we attacked _Sephiroth_ and lived to tell about it!" Cloud retorted, his voice shaking as badly as his knees. "And he _apologized_ to us. And I think he made a _joke_!"

"I think he did too," Zack said, the awed expression slowly turning back to his usual grin. "Well, there's one good thing about all of this. After _that_ , the rest of this exam is going to seem like a piece of cake!"


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to the general's Cure spell Zack and Cloud had emerged from the exam in much better shape than just about anyone else, but nobody felt truly human until they'd finally been allowed to shower and eat. Shinra medics applied Cures to anyone who'd been seriously injured in the test, but anything more minor than broken bones was left to heal naturally.

Of course the story of their encounter with Sephiroth started making the rounds the moment their squad exited the building. It seemed like everyone in the entire camp made the time to wander by and oh-so-casually mention the subject to them. Cloud was a little flustered by all the sudden attention, but he was more annoyed that people seemed to be assuming he'd just cringed against a wall while Zack did all the hard work.

It helped that Zack swiftly corrected anyone who said as much to him, and it helped more that the older boy was visibly becoming as impatient as Cloud at the way everyone would glance doubtfully at the blonde, then look back at Zack with an 'if you say so' expression.

"Just give up, they're never going to believe you," Cloud advised wearily as yet another curious person wandered away again. For a wonder there was nobody behind them, and that meant Cloud and Zack might actually have a chance to finish their dinner. Cloud had gotten about halfway through his, but Zack had hardly had a chance to touch his because he'd been talking so much.

"It's just stupid," Zack complained, frowning as he toyed with his food. "What's so difficult to believe? Why would I lie about it? I mean, you made it this far, I don't see why everyone persists in acting like you couldn't possibly have been any help to me."

"Zack, look at me," Cloud said dryly, gesturing down at the way his cadet uniform hung off his scrawny shoulders. He was tall enough that his uniform was only a size or two smaller than Zack's, but he didn't have nearly the muscle mass needed to fill it out properly. "Of course they don't think I could have been useful. Haven't the drill sergeants been making it painfully clear all damn week how pathetic I am? Forget about it, it's not important."

"It is important," Zack insisted, his scowl deepening. "We're probably the only two people crazy enough to have ever charged general Sephiroth with a couple of paint guns. That took serious guts, and you were right there with me. Yet people are treating you like you did worse on the test than the rest of our squad, who all hung back like a bunch of... ow!"

Blinking and giving Cloud a hurt look, Zack actually pouted slightly at him. "What was that for?" he asked ruefully, leaning down to rub at his abused shin.

"Because you were getting loud enough for the whole mess to hear you, and you were about to call our squadmates cowards," Cloud replied in a low voice. "I don't think they'd likely appreciate it, and one or both of us might end up with some of them in our regiment once we're sworn in. Neither of us needs to start making enemies."

"True," Zack agreed sheepishly, lowering his voice as well to bring it back to a normal conversational tone. "See? I told you I needed you around to watch my back. You really think they'll split us up?" He looked faintly worried.

Cloud shrugged. "What reason would they have not to? They probably spread the new recruits out through all the platoons, so no one group has too many green people. It's not like _they_ care that we're... friends." The last word came out more hesitantly than he'd meant it to, but he was still a little unsure of the whole thing. He kept expecting Zack to come to his senses. And if they were assigned to different regiments they'd hardly ever see each other, so he shouldn't let the older boy mean too much to him.

Drumming his fingers on the table, Zack looked thoughtful for a moment. "They don't have any reason _not_ to put us together," he finally said. "And you and I both know I'm going to graduate this camp as the top-ranked cadet. That's gotta count for something if I make a request." He grinned. "Hell, if I need to, I'll write General Sephiroth and ask him if he can fix it. I think we impressed him, he might just help."

"You wouldn't dare!" Cloud gasped, though he had a fairly good feeling Zack _would_ dare if he decided it was necessary. "You're completely insane, you know that?"

"So you keep saying," Zack said unrepentantly. "Good thing I've got you around to keep me humble. C'mon, it looks like they're gathering everyone up for the exit ceremony."

Glancing at what was left on his plate, Cloud sighed and decided it wasn't worth shovelling it into his mouth just for the sake of eating it. He'd probably choke on it. Zack scooped up one last large mouthful, but considering how little the older boy had gotten to eat Cloud couldn't blame him.

"You'd think they'd at least give us decent food for our send-off meal," Zack complained good-naturedly as they made their way out of the mess towards the parade ground. "Well, once we get our papers they can't take it back, right? So what will they do to me if I go raid the kitchens later?"

"I'm sure you'll find out," Cloud said dryly. "And I suppose you'll want me there to watch your back, so I'll probably find out, too."

"Now you're getting the idea," Zack agreed with a grin.

As squad captain Zack of course was the right marker for their section. Usually Cloud ended up somewhere in the middle of the back rank, out of sight. Tonight there weren't enough of them left to form more than one rank, but he was still surprised when the others blatantly left the first _two_ spots in the rank open.

He nearly missed a step in his surprise, but he recovered quickly and took the place that had been left for him. Zack nudged him gently with his elbow, and he thought he caught a fleeting grin from Watt on his other side.

It finally occurred to him that the rest of their squad _did_ know that Cloud had been just as much a part of the attack on Sephiroth as Zack, and this was their way of showing him honour for it.

Flushed with pleasure, he fixed his eyes front and centre and fought down a stupid grin. For all his determination, this was the first time it had really _felt_ like he was going to get where he wanted to go. The first step to SOLDIER, indeed.

The ceremony was boring, of course. It hadn't taken long for Cloud to figure out that formal military inspections or reviews or ceremonies were all pretty much the same... he stood around in his uniform fighting the urge to fidget or look around, while various officials made boring long-winded speeches. The length of the speeches depended on the importance of the event, and that was pretty much the only difference.

He was just grateful that the general's Cure spell had left him energized as well as healed. He heard more than one desperately stifled yawn around them; everyone was exhausted after a ridiculously hard day of tests, but they hadn't been handed their papers _yet_. For all they knew, successfully getting through the graduation ceremony without falling asleep or otherwise drawing attention to themselves was just one final test.

At last the captain started calling names, and each cadet moved up to receive their graduation certificate and the transfer papers that listed what unit they were being assigned to. The captain nodded and shook each man's hand, and then they moved back into their rank to wait until everyone was finished.

They were calling names by squad, so it wasn't long before they got to squad three. Cloud was the first one called, and there was a certain amount of giddy joy to walking up in front of everyone and proving that yes, he _could_ do it. As he marched back to his place in the ranks he saw Zack flash him a quick wink, and let his lips twitch in a brief grin in response.

Zack was last to go up in their squad, and he got a special commendation for having the best marks in the camp. The captain offered him a personal welcome to the ranks of Shinra as well as just shaking his hand, and Zack's salute in return was textbook perfect.

Then they had to wait while all the other squads were called. Cloud found he was grateful that relatively few people had passed the last day of boot camp; it meant the ceremony only dragged on for a month, rather than a year.

Once all the names had been called, the captain stepped up to address them again. Cloud started to tune the man out just as he had with all the other speeches, when Zack's elbow dug into his arm again and prodded him to attention.

"...have your kits packed and ready to go at oh-six-hundred tomorrow morning," the captain was saying. "Your gear will be transferred to your new unit's barrack, and you will be expected to report to your new commander by no later than oh-eight-hundred. As of that moment, your lives will officially belong to Shinra Corp, until such time as you are discharged for whatever reason." He gave them all a thin smile. "Enjoy your last night as free civilians. Dismissed!"

Nobody moved until the officers had left, of course, but the moment they were all free to move a roar of voices broke out. "Cloud! Did you hear that?" Zack grabbed him around the shoulders and tried to pull him into a headlock, and Cloud had to punch him hard in the ribs to get his grip to loosen enough for him to pull free. Zack just laughed at him, reaching out to ruffle his mussed hair instead. "We've got _leave_! Screw raiding the kitchens, we're going to town!"

"Who's 'we'?" Cloud wanted to know, narrowing his eyes at the older boy. "I don't know anyone out there, I'm just gonna stay here and pack."

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Zack replied, and his cheerful tone promised that he intended to have a great deal to say about it. "We've got to celebrate, man! Anyway you know me, and I know people out there. I'll take you down to sector 7, there's a bar down there I washed dishes in for a while, they've got the best drinks and atmosphere anywhere under the plate."

"You want to go down to the slums?" Cloud asked, dismayed. He'd come in through Midgar's main gates and headed straight for the recruiting office, then gone from there to here. He hadn't seen the area of Midgar under the 'plate', but he'd heard the horror stories. Desperately he tried to think of a reason not to go that wouldn't make him sound like a chicken. "I... I don't have any money, Zack. I spent everything I had just getting here."

"Dumbass," Zack chuckled and snatched the envelope containing Cloud's transfer papers out of his hand, smacking him over the head with it. "Your first paycheque is in here." At Cloud's astonished look, the chuckle became an outright laugh. "Didn't anybody tell you? If you make it, the week of boot camp is considered paid time at the base rate for a private."

"Yep, and it's tradition to take it all and blow it on your last night of freedom," Ryan put in as he walked past them and overheard their discussion. "That's why they give it to you directly. After this we get paid by automatic deposit into an account with Shinra Corp, and you have to go through all kinds of paperwork to withdraw it. Enjoy yourselves, boys! I'm off to visit a couple of lady friends who are going to miss me sorely between leaves." He laughed and continued on his way, leaving them alone in the crowd again.

Flushing, Cloud shot Zack a suspicious look. "If that's what you've got in mind, I'm not interested," he said vehemently. The idea of paying a woman to have sex with him, a woman probably dozens of guys had been with before him, was totally unappealing.

Almost immediately he realized he probably should have chosen his words a little more carefully as Zack's grin turned innocently surprised. "Why, Cloud," he said, his tone just short of truly angelic. "I had no idea you weren't interested in women. Well, they do say the military is more progressive these days..."

"You... that's not what I meant and you know it!" Cloud punched at him, and Zack blocked it with his palm; Cloud had been expecting that, and Zack _hadn't_ been expecting the kick that connected with his already abused shin while Zack was distracted by the punch.

"Ow! Damn it, kid, I need that bone," Zack exclaimed, hopping back out of reach with a grimace. "All right, I won't tease you. About that, anyway. You gotta admit that was a perfect straight line, though. You saving yourself for your true love or something?"

"No," Cloud flushed and rolled his eyes, trying not to think of a promise he'd made in the moonlight. That was... that didn't have anything to do with this conversation at all. "I just don't want to catch something nasty right before I report for my first day of duty."

"Well, it so happens I agree with you," Zack relented, grinning again. "And since most of these bastards are probably planning to follow Ryan's itinerary for the evening, it'd be crowded anyway. If I need some that badly, I'll go visit my girl in sector 5." He coughed and looked rueful. "Not that I'm likely to get much action there. Her mom hasn't left us alone together since that time she caught us kissing out in the garden."

"You have a girlfriend?" Cloud didn't know why he was surprised. Of _course_ Zack had a girlfriend. He was smart, and strong, and sweet, and obviously going places in life. He probably had girls throwing themselves all over him, and his girlfriend would be the prettiest, smartest, nicest one of them all.

To his surprise, Zack flushed and ran a hand through his hair. "Nah. Nothing that formal. She's been a good friend to me since I got here, helped me find work and shelter and made sure I was always fed. We've messed around, but it's not serious." His grin this time was a little quirky. "I'll introduce you one of these days. She'll love you, and everyone loves her. Not tonight, though. Tonight is for celebrating with the guys."

"In other words, going out to get drunk," Cloud concluded with a sigh.

"Now you're getting the idea!" Zack agreed cheerfully. "You trust me, don't you?"

"I trust you to drag me into trouble right along with you," Cloud replied, but his mouth quirked in a small smile. Hades, he'd followed the man into battle against _Sephiroth_ , how could he balk at doing anything less?

"Exactly," Zack snickered. "Trouble shared is trouble halved. Or something. Come on, if we don't hurry the shuttles back to the train platform will be full and we won't get to go!"

Cloud still wasn't entirely convinced that would be a bad thing, but he let Zack hustle him back to their bunks to change into civilian clothing. After a week of wearing nothing but the scratchy fabric of the standard issue cadet uniforms, jeans and a t-shirt felt almost sinfully good against his skin. "I hope our new uniforms aren't as uncomfortable as these ones were," he said as he tugged the shirt over his head and debated whether or not to grab his sweater as well. He didn't have much in the way of clothing, having worn out most of what he'd left home with on the journey here.

"Gotta be," was Zack's considered opinion as the older boy ran a brush through his hair. "Damn, I wish they hadn't made me cut my hair. Think they'll let me grow it out again when I get into SOLDIER?"

"You too, huh?" Cloud ran a hand over his own spikes, thinking wistfully of the ponytail he'd been forced to chop off. "Probably. The general's was long."

"Yeah, but he's _Sephiroth_ ," Zack said, shaking his head. "We'll see, I guess. Hey, did you check your transfer orders yet?"

"Not yet," Cloud replied, grabbing the envelope and slipping it open. Inside was a cheque on official Shinra paper, as Zack had promised. The thick packet of papers was too complicated for him to be able to skim through it effectively, but he found the name of his new unit easily enough. "3rd rifle battalion, alpha company, B platoon," he read. "You?"

"Hah!" Zack's exclamation was triumphant. "I won't even have to ask for any favours, after all. That's my assignment too. I claim top bunk!"

"You're welcome to it, and I won't have any pity for you when you fall off in your sleep," Cloud retorted, but he couldn't keep his genuine relief out of his voice. Something had relaxed inside him at Zack's declaration that they'd been assigned to the same unit, and he was a little reluctant to admit to himself just how happy he was about it.

At least it meant he could let himself safely enjoy the friendship Zack seemed determined to extend to him, without fear of turning around and losing it tomorrow.

Which led him right back to the fact that Zack was dragging him out to the slums, of course. He sighed again. "Why is it I can already tell I'm going to feel put-upon a lot of the time when I'm with you?" he asked as Zack grabbed a jacket and they both headed for the door.

"Clearly, because we are soul mates," Zack said mock-seriously. "How else could you understand me that well this quickly? Brace yourself, this is the part where realization strikes and we have to do the 'run through the flowers and fling ourselves into each other's arms with sappy declarations of love' scene."

"Well, we're a little short on flowers, but if you want to do the sappy declarations, just hang on a second while I find a recorder," Cloud replied, shoulders shaking with repressed laughter. "I'm not going to pass up blackmail material like that. I can tell I'm going to need it."

"Heh. Blackmail only works if you're ashamed of what's on the tape," Zack said. "You'll have a damn tough time blackmailing me, kid. C'mon, let's go! The night is wasting!"

Maybe it was because they were both relatively fresh and almost everyone else was suffering from the day's efforts, but even with their arguing and Cloud's attempts to stall they made it to the shuttle well before it was full. Cloud let Zack take the window seat because it wasn't worth the argument, and plopped down beside him.

Someone from another squad leaned over the seat in front of them and started asking about Sephiroth. More than happy to let Zack field the latest round of repetitive questions, Cloud tuned them out and sank into thought.

Everything since the fight with Sephiroth seemed a little surreal. Cloud kept wondering if maybe the general had cast Confuse on him, and he was just imagining everything since then. When Zack turned his full attention on you, it was so hard not to respond. The older boy had done it last night over KP as well, drawing him out into talking and laughing in a way he couldn't ever remember doing before.

Was this what having a close friend was like? Someone who could tease you and you knew it wasn't malicious, someone you could tease back and who would laugh with you when you actually managed to get a point of your own? If it was, Cloud thought he could get used to it. He already liked it, though it made him a little nervous to open himself to someone this way.

"Gil for your thoughts?" Zack startled him by asking, and Cloud blinked his eyes open to find the older boy looking at him with a curious expression. "Then again, they seemed like they were pretty serious, so maybe they're worth more than that?"

"Nah," Cloud shook his head, feeling oddly embarrassed. "They're not even worth that much. I was just thinking about what a bad influence you've been on me already."

"Corrupting influence," Zack corrected him, laughing. " 'Bad' is subjective, but nobody could argue that I haven't been a properly corrupting influence."

"How exactly are you planning to get me into a bar, anyway?" Cloud wanted to know, changing the subject before they could wander into uncomfortable territory. "You're underage too, but at least you look old enough. As you so thoughtfully pointed out, I don't."

"There is no such thing as 'underage' under the plate," Zack shrugged. "That's a concept for a civilized society. If you're old enough to be able to see over the bar to ask for the drink, you're old enough to drink it. Besides, you're a trooper now." He snorted. "Drunk and disorderly is an expected condition for us when we're on leave. You have to live up to the image."

They transferred to the train that ran in a spiral down through Midgar to the lower sections without any problems, but as soon as they got beneath the plate it was like entering an entirely different world. Even though it was still only sunset above, they were plunged into a world of eternal night that was more than a little disturbing. Cloud blinked at the sudden transition, trying to accustom his eyes.

"It's always a little startling," Zack said, leaning against a pole beside him. The train was packed with cadets and other troops on leave, and there hadn't been room to sit. "You never quite get used to it. Creepy, huh?"

"It's... not right," was Cloud's uneasy response, as he shivered. He was glad the Shinra military compound was above the plate, where the sun could shine down on them properly. He didn't think he could live in this permanent gloom without going a little crazy. "You lived down here for a year and a half?"

"It's not so bad," Zack shrugged. "There are good points to it. Though I have to admit, except for a couple of friends I'll be leaving behind, I won't be sad to move back into the sun. And I can always visit."

"Or have them visit you," Cloud suggested, leaning closer to the grimy window so he could look up at the plate above. "Who on earth decided it was a good idea to build a city on top of a bunch of other towns? Wouldn't it have been easier to just find a new place to build on?"

Zack laughed. "You know, I have no idea. Personally, I suspect Shinra built it just to prove they could. Hey look, we're coming into sector 6. You ever see anything so gaudy in your life?"

Looking out at the sea of garish lights and signs in the business district, Cloud listened as Zack pointed out sites of interest and explained what all the different buildings housed. The majority of the troops and cadets got off at the sector 6 platform. "Heading for the Honeybee," Zack said with a wink that told Cloud all he needed to know about that particular establishment. At least it gave them some breathing room on the train.

The bar Zack had wanted to take him to wasn't far from the station 7 platform, which Cloud was grateful for as it meant he didn't have to walk too far under the unnatural gloom of the plate. Once inside the warm, noisy, well-lighted atmosphere of the bar it was easier to relax, to pretend he was in any one of a hundred similar establishments that probably existed above the plate.

Enthusiastic greetings followed Zack's progress through the crowd, and he greeted most people by name in return. "Your usual, Zack?" the bartender asked, and Zack made a scornful noise.

"Nah. Beer's for an ordinary night, however much Gongagan beer is a cut above the rest," he declared, to much cheerful booing from those around them. Cloud stayed mostly in Zack's shadow, more than happy to let the older boy take all the attention. "Tonight is a night to celebrate! Cloud and I are officially troops of Shinra, and well on our way to SOLDIER!"

There was a round of cheering and applause at that, and Cloud was a little surprised. He'd have expected the people beneath the plate to be resentful of Shinra and everything it stood for. Maybe they were, and it was just that Zack was popular enough that they were applauding his accomplishment more than anything else. But they also seemed to be genuinely applauding Cloud as well. He flushed under the attention, but wasn't displeased.

"So! To start the night off right..." Zack flashed that incorrigible grin at the bartender, and the man chuckled in response. "A shot each of Fire 3 for me and Cloud, please." Another cheer, at their bravery this time, which made Cloud a little apprehensive about what Zack was about to try to pour down his throat.

Watching the bartender concoct the shots was fascinating, though. He poured a bit of this and a bit of that, somehow keeping the liquids in their distinct layers, so that the whole thing was striped in shades of red and gold. Then he thrust a clear rod into the middle and stirred once, and suddenly bits of red and gold were swirling around each other in separate but slowly blending waves that did indeed sort of resemble dancing flames. With a flourish the man set fire to the two shots, and shoved them towards Zack and Cloud.

"Quick, before it's too hot to drink," Zack urged him with a laugh, reaching for his own drink. He deftly blew the fire out and downed the shot all in one go, tipping his head back and shivering. "Hoo boy! That is some damn fine shit, right there."

Not wanting to seem like a coward, Cloud steeled himself and reached for his own shot. The fire was hot against his face as he blew it out, and the liquid scorched his tongue and mouth on the way down. He'd expected it to be harsh enough to make him choke, but it went down smoothly, tasting of cinnamon and spices and even, somehow, of heat.

Then the effect of it actually hit him, a sharp fire that blossomed in his throat and spread rapidly down to his stomach. He gasped, for a moment afraid he'd waited too long and the liquid had burned him badly, but the fire wasn't actually painful. Warmth spread through his whole body, and he felt a little light-headed. "Whoa," was all he could think to say, dazed. No wonder the drink was named after a powerful fire spell.

"See? I told you that you could trust me," Zack said cheerfully. "I'll have you know I have very good taste." He reached for his wallet; they'd both taken a moment to cash their paycheques before boarding the train, and while a week as a cadet wasn't exactly enough to let them live comfortably for any length of time, they weren't going to have to worry about how much the drinks cost tonight.

"Nope, this one's on the house," the bartender said good-naturedly, shaking his head at Zack. "Congratulations, boys."

Laughing, Zack pressed the money on him again. "A round for the house, then," the dark-haired boy insisted. This pronouncement was greeted by more cheering from the crowd. "Share the joy, and all that. What do you want to try next, Cloud? Something sweet, or sour, or spicy again?"

Later, when Cloud tried to remember the events of the night, it was mostly lost in the haze of alcoholic fog. There must have been another cadet there, or else Zack had told the story at some point when Cloud wasn't listening, because it seemed like everyone already knew about their attack on Sephiroth. Unlike the other cadets these people seemed perfectly willing to believe that Cloud might have been just as much a part of it as Zack had been, which left him bombarded with all kinds of questions. His shoulder started to ache with how often people had slapped him there in congratulations.

He never got quite drunk enough to start getting sick; he wasn't sure if Zack had been watching out for him or if the bartender had just been careful not to serve him more if it seemed like he was at his limit, but Cloud was fairly certain it wasn't his own doing. At the same time, he was never allowed to sober up too much either. Eventually he found himself laughing and joking with the rest of the crowd, chattering as cheerfully as if he were Zack. Apparently he was a happy drunk, and it felt good enough that he didn't even try to fight it.

Zack, on the other hand, seemed to be a touchy drunk. He spent what seemed like half the night with an arm slung over Cloud's shoulder, dragging him this way and that to introduce him to various people, or try a new drink, or challenge him at the arcade games, or whatever else struck his fancy. It wasn't just Cloud, either; he was always ruffling people's hair or punching them in the arm in a friendly manner or just generally making a nuisance of himself. Cloud found he didn't mind as much as he might have, as it was hard to object to the warm camaraderie Zack insisted on dragging him into.

It seemed like it couldn't have been more than a few hours before the bartender was announcing last call, and Cloud stared around him in confusion. "What time is it? Why are they closing so early?" he asked, his voice a bit slurred.

Laughing in that careless way that only someone who is drunk can manage, Zack leaned on his shoulder and grinned at him. "It's stupidly late, kid," he replied, shaking his head. "Or stupidly early, depends on how you look at it. We've probably only got a few hours before we have to report. Just enough time to sleep off the last of the drunk, and it's a good thing they'll probably be expecting everyone to show up with hangovers."

"What? No way," Cloud protested, trying to make his fuzzy mind work properly. "We haven't been here that long!"

"Sure we have," Zack shrugged, and nudged him back towards the bar. "C'mon, one last drink for the road. What should we have?" He looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded, his eyes gleaming. "I know. Liquid mako!"

Waving acknowledgement, the bartender set to work mixing the last drinks for them. Cloud couldn't see what he was doing this time through the crowd of people around the bar, but the glasses that were handed to them were half-filled with a glowing green liquid that did indeed look very much like mako.

"It's not really, is it?" Cloud asked, eyes wide as he gingerly accepted the glass and held it away from him. Mako this concentrated would not only be worth this whole bar and then some, but probably toxic as well. Everyone knew that mako overexposure could do strange things to you; that was what the modifications made to SOLDIERS were based on, in fact.

"Nah, not really," Zack snickered. "It'll keep us awake and aware enough to make it back to the camp, though! Drink up!" He clinked his glass against Cloud's, and they both knocked back the drinks at the same time.

It wasn't unlike the effect of the Fire 3 he'd started with, Cloud thought in a daze as the effects of the drink poured over him, but at the same time it was completely different. It felt like pure energy; not fire or lightning, but just _energy_. He'd been a little drowsy with the warmth and the alcohol before, but now he was wide-awake. "What...?"

"The base is a Potion," Zack explained, grabbing him around the shoulders again. "And it's got some Speed Drink in it, not enough to Haste you, but enough for you to feel it. Best thing to end the night with, it helps mitigate the hangover. But we definitely want to be back in our bunks before it wears off, because we'll probably crash hard."

Cloud had never experienced Haste so he couldn't make any comparisons, but he did feel as if everything around him was just a bit sharper, a little slower, easier to process and react to. "Wow," he said, shaking his head. He immediately regretted it, as the room spun around him a bit. He was still drunk then, however clear-headed he felt at the moment. It was only an illusion, and he'd have to be careful to remember that.

"Let's go, then," he said, with a crooked grin of his own. "I don't want it to wear off before we get back; being found passed out in a gutter somewhere probably won't look very good on our records when we're applying for SOLDIER."

"Truer words were never spoken," Zack chuckled. "Off we go!"

The effects of the drink seemed to make Zack even more exuberant than usual, and he babbled endlessly the entire way back through sector 7 to the train. Cloud was content to just listen, finding himself grateful for Zack's warm arm around him. The night air was chilly after the heat of the crowd in the bar.

By the time they made it back to the camp, the effects were starting to wear off. Both Cloud and Zack were dragging their feet, and Cloud could see why Zack had described it as 'crashing'. "Think we'll actually get any sleep?" he wondered wistfully as they staggered towards the building where their squad shared sleeping quarters with three other squads. "Drunk guys coming in at all hours..."

"Nah, most of them will spend the night in the city," Zack asserted, shrugging. "Wouldn't surprise me if we're the only ones in the barrack."

They weren't, as it turned out, but the three people inside were sleeping the oblivious sleep of the drunk, and they hardly even needed to worry about waking anyone. They did their best to stay quiet anyway, though they weren't entirely successful.

Cloud had the bunk by the door, the least desirable spot, but he had it all to himself. His bunkmate had been one of the first to drop out. Zack glanced at the empty upper bunk, then down the long narrow room to where his own bunk was. "Too far," he declared wearily. "I'm just gonna bunk in with you tonight, if you don't mind."

"I don't care," Cloud shook his head, stifling a yawn. His eyes were drooping, and he couldn't blame Zack for not wanting to go the extra twenty feet. "Can you even get up there?"

"I'll manage," Zack chuckled, wrinkling his nose. "Last thing we need is the rumour mill going about us being found curled up in bed together."

Cloud felt the flush start at the base of his neck and sweep upwards until it felt like his ears were on fire. "No, definitely not," he agreed immediately, wincing at the very thought. He'd heard that such things were more accepted in big cities like Midgar, but 'more accepted' didn't mean 'acceptable'.

"Heh. You're cute when you blush like that," Zack murmured, and his grin had an odd quality to it that Cloud hadn't seen before. Swallowing, Cloud looked back at him, wondering if it was only his imagination that put that look in Zack's eyes. Considering what they'd just been talking about, and how drunk he was...

Then warm lips closed over his, clumsy with the effects of all the alcohol they'd drunk, and Cloud made a startled noise. Zack had his hand on Cloud's shoulder, preventing him from jerking away reflexively, and Cloud was drunk enough that he couldn't seem to figure out what he was supposed to _do_ in response to this.

It was over almost as quickly as it had started, and he blinked at Zack, dazed. "Way too cute," Zack declared again, grinning and ruffling Cloud's hair. "Sweet dreams, kid."

With that he kicked off his boots and hauled himself up into the upper bunk with a motion that looked effortless, but that Cloud probably couldn't have managed in a million years. Cloud stood there just staring up at him long after quiet snores told him Zack had joined the others in drunken oblivion, wondering if he'd just imagined the whole thing.


	4. Chapter 4

There were an awful lot of things the recruiting officers neglected to mention when they were handing out brochures, Cloud reflected. They were always talking about glory and honour and the thrill of battle, about serving with the best military on the planet. And most of all, about the SOLDIERs and how strong and fast and admirable they were.

What they didn't tell you was that as a grunt, the vast majority of your working time was spent on patrol or guard duty. They didn't mention how mind-numbingly boring it was to walk through the empty halls of the Shinra Corp tower, or to stand motionless for hours in front of a door somewhere.

On the other hand, there were moments when Cloud would happily have volunteered to spend a double shift standing guard over the least important door in the compound, if it would get him away from the duty he'd been assigned instead. This was one of those times.

Coming around a corner, he caught a glimpse of movement ahead and nearly panicked, jerking his rifle up and around to aim. Just before his fumbling finger found the trigger, he finally registered the blue uniform that was the same as the one he was wearing. "Zack?"

The older boy had been facing the other way, and he jumped visibly when Cloud called his name. Turning, Zack scanned the dim room until he saw Cloud at the other end. "Hey Cloud! Don't sneak up on me like that. I nearly fired on you."

"I nearly fired on _you_ ," Cloud retorted, moving up to join him. It did make him feel a little better to know that Zack was just as jumpy up here as he was. He did his best not to look around too much as he walked, not wanting to look too closely at the things in the tanks and specimen jars. "Hades, but the laboratory levels are the creepiest place I've ever been. I hate patrolling up here."

"You and me both," Zack replied ruefully, tipping his helmet back so Cloud could see his face. "Hell, us and the entire rest of the army, that's why these levels always get assigned to the tenderfeet. And these helmets don't help, they cut off half your line of sight. Who the hell designed these, anyway?"

"Not someone who was ever going to have to wear them," Cloud agreed sourly, pulling his own up far enough for him to be able to look around properly. The helmets included goggles that could be switched to a night-vision mode, which would have been more useful if not for the interference given out by all the lab equipment. Even outside of the interference, though, the night-vision was hardly worth the horrible restriction to your field of vision imposed by the narrow lenses. Not to mention the way everything became washed in shades of red, making it hard to distinguish between colours.

"Probably the PR people," Zack said, rolling his eyes. "Just think of all the identical soldiers in their neat little ranks in parades and such. Never mind the fact that having our vision restricted might make the difference between winning and losing a fight, and it's our asses on the line."

"Or maybe it's to make it easier for the brass not to think of us as people," Cloud suggested with a shrug. "So they don't have to feel bad if they send us out to die. If they can't see our faces, we might as well be toy soldiers."

"You might have something there," Zack snorted. "Well, either way, there's not much we can do about it. We'll just have to make SOLDIER soon, they don't have to wear helmets." He grinned. "Three months until the next exams. We'll have to work our asses off, but we can do it!"

"I _know_ , Zack," Cloud said with exasperated good humour. "You've reminded me at least five times a day, every day for the last week!"

With a sheepish laugh, Zack shook his head. "Well, it bears repeating. Motivation, and all that. And part of getting in involves _not_ getting caught slacking off on duty, so let's get moving. We'll patrol together, all right? Maybe then it won't seem so creepy."

"Are we allowed to do that?" Cloud asked in surprise as they tugged their helmets back down.

"Sure, I've seen other guys bunch up in twos and even threes," Zack said, shrugging. "It's not like this level is so big it needs multiple people patrolling in the first place. They just need something to do with us all."

Following along as Zack set off down the hall again, Cloud did his best to focus on his friend rather than everything else around them. "Do you suppose it's less creepy during the day?" he asked, fingering the trigger guard on his rifle nervously. "I mean, there'd be people wandering around, and presumably they'd bring the lights up?"

"I dunno about that last part," Zack said thoughtfully. "I heard the lights are mostly kept dim, at least in this area. Something about potential damage to the specimens. But yeah, surely with people around it's got to be less spooky."

"What are they _doing_ up here, anyway?" Cloud wanted to know. Despite his best efforts not to look around, he kept getting glimpses of dead animals stuffed or otherwise displayed for view, and other less recognizable things that were probably best left unidentified.

"Studying the monsters that have started appearing outside Midgar, I think," Zack said, squinting at one of the displays. "I heard some people think they're connected to the way the soil out there is drying out, though I don't really see how that could be. Nobody knows where they're coming from, so they're probably trying to figure it out."

"Strange creatures shouldn't just appear out of nowhere, should they?" Cloud asked uncertainly. It seemed pretty unlikely to him. "I mean, they have to have come from somewhere. Up in the mountains where people don't go, maybe?"

"That's the most popular theory," Zack agreed. "I think their food supplies must be affected by the same thing that's destroying Midgar's farms, and they're just ranging farther afield in search of food than they ever have before. Still, it's good to study them, we can probably learn a lot. And the guy who runs the labs is the same one who came up with the SOLDIER process, right? They probably do lots of studies on that, finding ways to improve it or lessen the side effects so more people can withstand the transition."

"I'd hate to have been one of those first few people they made into SOLDIERs," Cloud said, shivering. "Can you imagine? Undergoing an experimental process like that, not even really knowing what it would do to you."

"I dunno, Sephiroth was one of the first, and he turned out pretty well," Zack laughed. "But yeah, I hear you. I'm glad they've got most of the bugs worked out now."

The conversation died out; it was hard to find innocuous things to talk about in this atmosphere. As they walked Cloud found himself sneaking surreptitious glances at Zack, though it didn't do him much good. It was hard to read his friend when all he could see was the lower half of his face.

He'd been watching Zack a lot over the last week, though. He couldn't seem to help himself. The older boy had never said or done anything to indicate that he remembered the drunken kiss, and Cloud was seriously starting to believe he'd just imagined the whole thing.

That didn't stop him from thinking about it, though. Somewhat to his embarrassment, he found himself thinking about it rather a lot. He'd tried to tell himself it was only to be expected, after all... having a guy kiss you wasn't something you'd forget any time soon. And if it had really happened, it was his first kiss, too.

Still. Cloud tended to blush at odd moments, especially if Zack caught him looking and teased him about it. He'd never had the courage to ask about it, and wasn't sure he really wanted to anyway. What would he do if Zack remembered, and said it hadn't been a mistake?

What would he do if Zack remembered and it _had_ been a mistake?

Shaking off his thoughts, Cloud risked a look around to distract himself. They'd entered the live specimens area now, which was at least a little less creepy than looking at rows of dead animals and body parts. The cages ranged in size from one as small as Cloud's hand, to one that took up nearly half a room. Not all of them were full; in one Cloud saw a lizard-like creature with dull red scales, with a black VI tattooed into its shoulder. Beside it were two apparently sleeping creatures that looked like blue mounds of fur, the closer of which had an XV tattoo visible.

A sharp bark and a sudden thud from his other side startled Cloud into swinging around, his rifle levelled and finger on the trigger. Beside him Zack had dropped to one knee to get out of Cloud's line of sight, his rifle trained on the now growling animal as well.

Only a mesh of wire stood between them and the snarling creature. Hoping the cage was strong, Cloud studied the massive dog-like animal. "Zack, that's a Nibel Wolf!" Cloud exclaimed, his eyes wide. "They live in the Nibel mountain range. Only I've never seen one that big before. And it doesn't quite look... right."

It was half again as large as any wolf Cloud had ever seen in the mountains, and its claws and teeth seemed out of proportion even for the larger size of its body. Muscles bunched in odd places on its limbs, and its muzzle was longer and narrower than what Cloud was used to.

"Maybe they live in the mountains around here, too?" Zack suggested, slowly straightening from his crouch. "Or some kind of cousin to them?"

"Maybe," Cloud agreed doubtfully. "There haven't been any reports of strange creatures showing up anywhere other than Midgar, have there?"

"Not that I've heard," Zack shrugged. "But they'd probably be keeping something like that quiet to avoid a panic, so it's hard to say. You really think that's a Nibel Wolf?"

"I don't know," Cloud confessed quietly, staring into the wolf's eyes. It looked back at him with an uncanny intelligence, and he shivered. Some instinct told him that whatever this creature was, its intentions were entirely malevolent. "I guess not. Nibel Wolves aren't all that smart, for one thing, and this one..."

"Yeah, it's pretty smart," Zack agreed. "Looks like it's trying to figure out how to get its paws around the latch."

"It cannot escape." The sudden and unexpected voice from behind them made Cloud yelp, and they both jerked their rifles around to aim at the man who'd entered the room. Apparently oblivious to the threat of the guns pointed at him, the man moved forward to pat the cage holding the wolf, equally oblivious to its snapping fangs just short of his fingers. "All the cages are quite secure, and designed specifically with the capabilities of the contained specimen in mind."

Recovering from the surprise faster than Cloud, Zack cleared his throat. "This is a restricted area, sir. May we see your pass, please?"

The man's shoulders were shaking beneath his lab coat, but it took Cloud a moment to realize he was laughing silently. Turning to face the two troopers, he raised an eyebrow at them and pushed a stray lock of hair out of his face. "Well. Guards who actually do their job, how refreshing. I trust this will be sufficient clearance for you?"

He pulled a badge from his lab coat pocket and held it out; from this angle Cloud could only get a glimpse of the picture, but Zack would be able to read it.

The helmets kept him from seeing Zack's expression, but he knew his friend well enough to read the sudden intake of breath and tension in the older boy's shoulders as shock. "Professor Hojo, sir!" Zack came to attention and saluted, and belatedly Cloud did the same. His brain caught up to him a moment later as he finally recognized the name, and he drew in a sharp breath of his own.

The man who had pioneered the SOLDIER program regarded them with a faint trace of cynical amusement in his expression for a moment, before waving off their salutes with an irritable gesture. "I have no patience for your military formalities. You are tonight's guards, I take it?"

"Yes, sir," Zack confirmed, dropping the salute. "I apologize for not recognizing you, sir."

"Bah." Turning, Hojo moved away from them to study the large red lizard, smiling as it breathed a gout of flame against the glass walls surrounding its cage in an attempt to burn him. "I'd much rather have overzealous guards who question everyone than the lackadaisical ones I usually seem to be burdened with. I was beginning to suspect Heidegger of deliberately assigning his most incompetent men to me in an attempt to sabotage my department.

Zack and Cloud glanced at each other, and Cloud repressed a snort. Somehow he didn't think it would be very politic of him to mention the fact that only green recruits were assigned up here, specifically because it was considered the worst job on the whole guard roster and nobody else would do it.

"Perhaps I should request to have you assigned here regularly," Hojo mused, and Cloud stiffened. Having to patrol here all the time instead of just every so often as it came up on their squad's roster would be the worst thing he could imagine. He'd never sleep properly again, considering the nightmares he was sure he was going to have tonight.

"With respect, sir, I believe the duty roster is regularly rotated to prevent anyone from becoming complacent with a familiar assignment," Zack said smoothly. As usual Cloud had to admire his friend's ability to think on his feet under questioning - this time he might even be telling the truth, too. "If we were always assigned here, we'd end up becoming as careless as the people you're complaining about, just for different reasons."

"I'm not certain that's entirely sound reasoning, but I'm a biologist, not a psychoanalyst," Hojo shrugged. "At any rate, I will be working late tonight. You will guard the door. You may patrol the rest of the floor if you like, but under no circumstances am I to be disturbed, is that understood?"

"Sir, yes sir!" Cloud and Zack acknowledged in unison, saluting again.

"Good," Hojo said, gesturing at the door. "Off with you, then. Remember, no interruptions. That door is to remain shut even if the building is burning down around us."

Both of the troopers made quick time back to the door they'd entered by, and Zack closed it behind them. When they were standing out in the hall again, they tugged their helmets back and looked at each other wide-eyed.

"What was _that_ all about?" Cloud wondered. "What kind of experiments would he need to be doing at midnight, without even any techs around to assist him?"

"Maybe that's the point," Zack said, shrugging. There was more than a hint of unease in his voice, though. "I mean, maybe it's something so delicate he can't risk having anybody else around to ruin it, so that's why he's doing it so late. I bet people are always barging in on him during the day with 'emergencies' and administrative crap. Probably drives him nuts."

"He's creepier than the rest of the lab combined," Cloud declared, shivering.

"Yeah. Charismatic though, when he wants to be," Zack said thoughtfully. "And he can't be just an absent-minded scientist type, if he's this high up in Shinra's cut-throat political environment. I heard he's got a lot of influence on the president."

"Where do you _hear_ these things?" Cloud asked, momentarily diverted. "You work with the same people I do, and I never hear any of these things you're always so casually repeating."

"That's because you just work with them, you don't actually _talk_ to them," Zack replied, laughing and rapping smartly on Cloud's helmet, making his ears ring. "You always hang back and let me do all the talking, when you participate at all. You need to be more outgoing Cloud, seriously."

"I'm as outgoing as I want to be," Cloud retorted, rolling his eyes. "I've got you to drag me into being more sociable than I want to be, already."

"Yeah, and you love it," Zack teased him, grinning broadly as he knocked Cloud's helmet the rest of the way off and caught it in one hand, using the other to mess the smaller boy's hair vigorously. "C'mon, admit it. What would you do without me? Wither away in your dark little corner, probably."

"Zack! Cut it out!" Cloud protested, trying to duck away from the ruffling. As always when Zack got this close to him he found himself thinking about the kiss, and his heart was pounding. At least if Zack bothered to ask, he could write off the faint flush in his cheeks to embarrassment from the current teasing. "You are such a pain!"

"And you are way too cute for your own good," Zack replied, laughing. The words were so similar to what he'd said that night that Cloud froze for a panicked moment, half expecting another kiss. Instead Zack jammed his helmet back on his head, putting it on deliberately askew so that Cloud could only see out of one side of it.

Grumbling, he reached up to adjust it, giving Zack time to step back out of range of retaliation. "So you think we should stand guard here, or go patrol some more?" Zack asked as Cloud straightened himself out.

Thinking about the rows and rows of disturbing samples in some of the other rooms, Cloud swallowed. "Stay here," he decided. "If we go patrolling we might miss someone, and they could come knock on the door or something. The professor said he didn't want any interruptions."

"True enough," Zack agreed. "Door guards it is then. At least we don't have to stand motionless. I suppose it'd be a bit much to pull out a deck of playing cards, though?"

Cloud knew Zack wasn't serious, because for all the older boy's teasing there was nobody who took his duties more seriously than Zack. Still, he was half tempted to take him up on it, just for the distraction a game of cards would provide. He didn't want to be caught slacking off either, though. Neither of them could afford any black marks on their record if they wanted to make it into SOLDIER.

He was about to say as much, but his words were pre-empted by a sudden shrill scream from behind the door they were guarding. It was a high, thin noise, almost more of a shriek than a scream, and it sounded like an animal in mortal pain.

"What was that?" he asked, his head jerking around to the door so fast he was surprised he didn't break something. "What's he doing?"

"I don't know, but it doesn't sound pleasant," Zack said, grimacing. There was another scream, this one ending in a choked sounding cry. "Fuck. And he wonders why he can't get decent guards to stick around."

"Y'know what?" Cloud said. His words came out a little too fast and high, but he couldn't seem to calm them. "I think I changed my mind. It'd be stupid if someone got in and messed around in the lab while we were just hanging around here, right? Maybe we should patrol after all."

"I... can't fault your reasoning," Zack agreed, glancing at the door again as a third cry came, this one little more than a whimper. "We'll just make sure nobody gets this far, and that will keep him undisturbed too." He jammed his helmet back down, and headed back the way they'd come at a trot.

They didn't slow their pace until they were past the first room full of samples. Cloud decided that compared to having to stand outside that door and listen to animals screaming, the rest of the lab was downright homey, not creepy at all. "How often do we get assigned up here?" he asked, proud that his voice trembled only a little.

"Too often," Zack replied, shaking his head. "Way, way too often."

"Hojo gives me a bad feeling," Cloud said softly. He felt like a chicken saying something like that, as if admitting he was too scared to face the man. But this was the sort of 'bad feeling' that twisted in your gut until you felt nauseous, and you were sure that whatever it was your subconscious was worried about, you never wanted it to happen.

"Well, surely he doesn't work this late every night," Zack said, reaching out and squeezing Cloud on the shoulder. It felt like a gesture meant to reassure him as much as Cloud, and in an odd way that was the part that comforted Cloud most of all. "With any luck, we'll never run into him again."


	5. Chapter 5

In an environment where everyone showered and slept together in a big open room and privacy was more precious than gil, it was an unspoken rule that you just turned your head and pretended not to hear if someone started moving in their bunk in the night. So long as nobody actually saw you doing it, you were safe from teasing on the subject.

When Cloud had first realized just how things had to work, he'd been mortified and certain that _nothing_ would ever induce him to be the one squirming around where a dozen guys could listen to him. That resolution had lasted about a week and a half; he was a teenager, after all.

The next day he'd found himself blushing horribly if anyone so much as _looked_ at him, especially Zack. Nobody had said anything, though, and eventually he'd resigned himself to the situation. After that he generally gave in to his body's needs a couple times a week, and felt much better for the release.

It was also an unspoken rule that you didn't indulge yourself if you heard someone else going at it. Cloud wasn't sure how he was aware of this rule, but he was certain of it. Maybe it was just that he'd never heard two people at the same time. Or maybe it was an instinctive knowledge that something like that would be frowned upon as if the second person were getting off because of the first, not just because of a need that happened to crop up at the same time.

Never mind that sometimes, lying in the dark listening to someone's strangled breathing and faintly creaking bunk, it did make him hard. How could it not? Cloud was sure he wasn't the only one thus affected. The moment he heard someone else doing it, his subconscious bombarded him with images of doing it himself, and his body responded. He couldn't help it.

Generally he just buried his head under his pillow and refused to listen, and often the problem would be taken care of as he drifted back into sleep. If not, he would just wait until a decent amount of time had passed since the last guy stopped, and then take his turn. Sometimes a whole string of guys would go in turn, with a few minutes pause between each so they could all pretend each incidence had nothing to do with the others.

Tonight, though, nobody else was stirring as Cloud lay staring blankly up at the bottom of Zack's bunk, trying to control his breathing. He hadn't actually touched himself yet, was in fact struggling to ignore the urge in a way he hadn't bothered to since he'd first gotten here, but it was a battle he was already pretty sure he was going to lose.

The reason he was fighting it tonight had everything to do with the cause of his tightly wound state, and it wasn't something he wanted to think about. They'd spent the afternoon doing hand-to-hand drills. Cloud was so much smaller than just about everyone else that he tended to come out of those drill sessions aching and bruised, so Zack usually partnered him. It wasn't that Zack went easy on him, exactly, but the older boy did pull his punches a bit more than the rest of their toonmates.

They'd been at it all afternoon, learning various grappling techniques and how to overcome each. Everyone had stripped down to his fatigue pants and sweaty undershirt, and some had even abandoned the undershirts. Zack was one of the latter, his having been torn when Cloud had kept too tight a grip on it after successfully heaving Zack over his hip and flipping the bigger boy onto his back on the ground.

And Cloud, much to his horror, had realized that wrestling with a half-naked Zack was having a very profound and disturbing effect on certain portions of his anatomy. Objectively, anyone would have had to admit that Zack was beautiful, with his golden skin and muscles sculpted by more than a year of hard work down beneath the plate. Subjectively, though, he shouldn't have been paying so much attention to the way Zack's slick skin felt as he grappled with him, and his body certainly shouldn't have been reacting in entirely inappropriate ways.

Somehow Cloud had managed to make it through the session without anyone noticing his predicament, though Zack had been concerned enough by his distracted performance to ask if he was feeling all right. Bless the baggy design of the fatigue pants.

That had left him with a not-so-small problem to deal with, however. He'd managed to force the reaction down enough to get him through the rest of the day, but the moment he crawled into bed and glanced over to see Zack - in nothing but boxer shorts - hauling himself up to the upper bunk, he'd been right back where he started.

So now he was lying there, struggling to keep his breathing slow and steady even though he wasn't _doing_ anything, his cock hard and aching as his subconscious mind pelted him with memories of the afternoon. The quickest and easiest way to deal with it would have been just to _deal_ with it, to let himself take care of it and get it over with, but Cloud felt wrong at the idea of jerking off to mental images of his best friend. There had to be something wrong with that, especially when said friend was sleeping just above him!

At this rate, though, he was never going to get to sleep. And anyone awake enough to hear him probably thought he was going at it anyway, hell they were probably wondering what was taking him so long. Maybe someone else out there was lying there aching and waiting impatiently for him to finish, and he was just being selfish.

He was also rationalizing, he fully realized as he gave in and reached down beneath the blankets. Well, a little rationalization wouldn't hurt him. It wasn't like anyone was ever going to know what he'd been thinking about. This would just seem exactly like every other time he'd given in to his body and touched himself at night.

The rough weave of the starched cotton Shinra-issue sheets wasn't exactly silken against Cloud's skin, but as worked up as he was any extra stimulation just added to the heat pooling in his gut. He was in his boxers too; most of the guys slept that way, though some few went commando. It was too hot in the summer for anything more, never mind that their employer was a power company and you'd think they wouldn't begrudge air conditioning for the barracks. As Cloud slid his hand down, the fabric rubbed against his arms and chest, sensitizing what seemed like half the nerves in his body.

He rubbed himself through his boxers first, biting his lip to keep the incipient moan trapped in his throat. The callous that had started to build on his hand from sword and rifle drills caught on the softer cotton of his shorts, adding an extra edge of sensation as he stroked himself slowly through the fabric.

Almost immediately he knew this wasn't going to be quite like the other times. He was already so hard it almost hurt to touch, his body rocking up into his hand no matter how hard he tried to keep it still. The more he fought against images of Zack, the more strongly they came to him.

Zack grappling him from behind. Zack pinning him to the ground, and Cloud knew he should have tapped out much sooner each time but oh, the feel of that strong body over his. Zack kissing him, the image hazed with alcohol and uncertainty.

Zack's hand wrapping over his, guiding it down into his boxers and encouraging him to stroke directly on his cock. Zack touching him directly, his hands larger and stronger than Cloud's, but calloused just the same. Zack touching himself, lying up there in the bunk and doing exactly what Cloud was doing now; Cloud had felt the bunk shift a few times in the night, but Zack was apparently quieter at it than Cloud was because he'd never actually heard anything.

He wondered what the older boy would sound like. Zack had a smooth voice that had settled nicely into a rich deep tone, unlike Cloud's that would still sometimes crack unpredictably. What would it take to get Zack to make noise? Had his girl down in sector 5 ever heard him gasp and moan with pleasure? Cloud burned at the thought, and he knew he shouldn't be picturing these things, but he couldn't stop himself now.

Maybe Zack would moan softly in the back of his throat, letting the sound build inexorably until it escaped him in a muffled groan. With his eyes closed and head thrown back against the pillow, an expression of stifled passion on his face, he would look like some kind of erotic god.

The image was so provocative Cloud had to still his hand and just lie there for a moment, his breath caught in his throat. If he so much as shifted his fingers he was going to come, and as much as he knew he shouldn't be indulging himself while thinking about Zack, he couldn't bear to let it end so quickly.

In that moment of stillness, he heard something that shocked him so deeply he couldn't quite believe it. The desperately stifled moans _weren't_ a product of his imagination, and the slight shivering of the bedframe wasn't all his doing.

The first thought that managed to make it through his muddled mind was a horrified awareness that Zack was definitely awake and probably _listening_. He jerked his hand away from his cock, and he must have made some kind of startled noise because suddenly the soft sounds from above stilled as well.

At which point Cloud finally connected the noises with the knowledge that Zack was, in fact, breaking one of those unspoken cardinal rules. He wasn't just listening to Cloud, he was touching himself at the same time.

Shivering with unfulfilled need, Cloud lay staring wide-eyed up at the bunk above him. He wondered what was going through Zack's mind at that moment. Maybe, impossibly, Cloud had actually been quiet enough that Zack hadn't realized what he was doing?

That seemed the most likely explanation; that Zack had simply been so caught up in his own pleasure he hadn't been aware of what was going on below him. Silently Cloud prayed that none of the others were awake to hear this. Nobody had ever broken the rules before that he knew of, and he wasn't certain what would happen if the others realized he and Zack had.

From above came a whimper so soft Cloud wasn't sure he'd actually heard it, and he knew Zack must be as close to the edge as he was. At this point it was physically painful not to continue, and Cloud had to clench his fists in the bedsheets to keep himself from giving in to the need to continue. His whole body ached with the desire for release.

What were they supposed to do now? Cloud didn't think he could bear to do the relatively acceptable thing and let Zack finish, then wait a few minutes before finishing himself. And even if he managed to hold off, how could they possibly look each other in the eye tomorrow morning and pretend absolutely nothing out of the ordinary had happened the night before?

Zack gave another of those tiny, choked off moans, followed by an almost inaudible gasp. The bunk creaked softly, and Cloud knew Zack had started touching himself again. He could almost picture it, just from the quiet chorus of sounds. The creaking of the bed was when the older boy arched his hips up into his hand, unable to keep himself from bucking. The gasps came when Zack pulled his hand back at the end of the stroke, when there was almost no contact before he plunged his fist back over his cock. And those little moans were surely the moments when Zack rubbed his thumb over the tip, collecting the slick drops of precome from his slit to help his hand glide more easily.

There was no way he was going to last even until Zack was done, let alone until five minutes afterwards. Biting his lip, Cloud gave in to the inevitable and snaked his own hand back down under his shorts. Anyone listening had already heard them doing it at the same time earlier anyway. Since they were both in the same bunk, maybe they'd get lucky and it would just sound like only one of them was doing it and they were just making a little more noise than usual.

His cock was almost shamefully wet when he touched it again, dripping with enough precome that he didn't even need to rub over the slit first. He did anyway, just because it felt so good, like little shocks all along his nerves.

He knew his attempt to muffle his groan in his pillow had failed when he heard another soft whimper from Zack. He shivered, knowing the older boy was listening to him, aware of every move Cloud made just as Cloud was aware of him. The only way they could have been more intimate without actually touching each other would have been if they were watching each other; staring blindly up at the bunk above and picturing Zack in his mind's eye, Cloud almost felt like he was anyway.

Unconsciously Cloud matched his rhythm to what he could hear from above, or maybe Zack was the one matching him. Either way they fell into synch without meaning to, and once there Cloud couldn't seem to break the rhythm. He'd never had sex, but he thought it might be something like this, two bodies moving together in a dance as old as time itself. All they needed was physical contact between them. The image of sex with Zack was far more arousing than it should have been, even if Cloud couldn't quite work out the mechanics in his own mind.

Together they rushed headlong into orgasm, and Cloud could feel the waves of pleasure rising to engulf him. His muscles tightened, his balls pulled up close to his body, and his breaths came in harsh little pants. Normally he wasn't this loud, but then again it usually wasn't anywhere near this intense. When it crashed over him and the knot of coiled tension within him exploded, it was all he could do not to cry out.

Heat licked over his body as his veins sang with electric energy. At that moment he almost felt like he could cast a spell without even needing the materia, just the sheer energy of his own release. He came hard, gobs of sticky white fluid spurting over his hand and stomach, leaving him feeling limp and wrung out.

When his ears stopped ringing and he became aware of his surroundings again, he could hear Zack's muffled moans much more clearly. It sounded like the older boy was biting his pillow in an attempt to stifle himself, but it wasn't quite working well enough. After a minute Cloud heard his breath hitch once, then again, and then stutter to a stop altogether.

For a long moment there was silence, before Zack finally drew in another gasp of air. Sprawled bonelessly over his narrow bunk, Cloud lay still and listened to Zack try to catch his breath. He thought he heard the older boy mutter a soft curse, but it might have been his imagination.

Neither of them said anything. That would have been blatantly breaking the rules; not only would it force them to acknowledge what had just happened, but it would have opened them up to unending teasing from everyone else. Assuming, of course, that they weren't going to be mercilessly teased anyway. Cloud's throat ached with unasked questions, and he desperately wanted to know what Zack was thinking. At the same time, he really _didn't_ want to know, didn't want to have to think about any of this or its possible implications.

Not quite five minutes had gone by before he heard someone else start up, a few bunks over. Wryly Cloud reflected that the others really didn't have any room to tease, since he was sure that wouldn't be the last person to go tonight. Above him there was a soft snort of amusement, and he knew Zack was thinking much the same thing. Oddly, the moment of connection made Cloud feel just a little bit better about the whole mess.

Sighing, he forced himself to roll over and face the wall, staring at the rough plaster in the dim light. A soft rustle above told him Zack was doing the same thing. He wondered if either of them would be able to sleep tonight.


	6. Chapter 6

For once, reveille couldn't come early enough to suit Cloud. He'd tossed and turned through most of the night, catching only brief snatches of uneasy sleep. At the same time he dreaded the sound of the recorded bugle, because it meant he was going to have to get up and face Zack.

When the familiar notes did finally come, he groaned softly and buried his head under his pillow. Above him the bunk creaked as Zack shifted around, getting ready to get up, and just the sound of it was enough to put a fierce blush on Cloud's cheeks. How was he ever going to get through this?

There was a thud beside him that marked Zack jumping down, and his friend's voice reached him through the thin shield of the pillow. "Hey, sleepyhead, get moving," the older boy said, kicking at the side of Cloud's bunk. It was the same exchange they had every morning, since Zack was a naturally early riser and Cloud was notoriously reluctant to get up.

This time, though, there was a strain in Zack's voice that wasn't usually there, and when Cloud unearthed himself to glance up, he could see the same strain in his friend's eyes and smile. Zack was such a carefree person that even though he hid his unease well, Cloud could still read the difference in his expression.

Flushing deeper, Cloud's eyes skittered away from meeting Zack's gaze, and he couldn't quite look the older boy in the face. "I'm up," he said, his usual response to Zack's exhortations, but his heart wasn't in it. From the corner of his eye he saw the forced smile slip, and for a moment Zack looked as awkward as Cloud felt.

Then Zack shook his head, and plastered his usual grin over his face again. "So? Up and at 'em, then! Last one to the mess has to clear the trays."

With that he was gone, heading for the showers. Usually Cloud would have been stumbling along sleepily behind him, but today the mere thought of having to face a naked Zack in the very open shower room was enough to make him groan and burrow back under his pillow.

He couldn't hide there forever though, however much he might want to. Mortally certain that everyone in the room was either leering at him or giving him an accusing look - or both - Cloud dragged himself upright and started making his bed.

By the time Zack got back from the showers, Cloud had his bed straightened with the proper military precision, and his uniform for the day laid out carefully over the covers. Not until he saw the dark-haired boy return did Cloud grab his shower kit and head out himself.

"Hey, you're running later than usual," Zack observed as they passed in the narrow aisle between bunks. "Better get a move on, you don't want to miss morning inspection."

Still not able to look his friend in the eyes, Cloud shrugged. "I'll be fine," he mumbled, jerking his head back towards their bunk to indicate his prepared uniform. "I just... wanted to wait until the showers weren't completely crowded, for once."

"Fair enough," Zack agreed, but he sounded strained again. Swallowing, Cloud ducked his head further and fled for the showers.

It was a little nice to not have to fight for space in the showers, but Cloud immediately found he missed having Zack beside him cracking jokes and making Cloud talk to him to make sure the sleepy blonde didn't drift off under the water. It felt odd not to have that familiar presence by him, and what was worse, he didn't see any way to fix the problem.

That Zack was feeling just as awkward as Cloud, he had no doubt. The older boy covered it better than Cloud did, but then he'd always been better at maintaining an uncaring attitude. It was one of the things Cloud liked best about Zack, because he could always count on his friend to find the bright side of just about anything. If there was a bright side to this, though, Cloud couldn't see it.

How were they supposed to deal with this? Even if he'd been inclined to talk it out, which he most definitely _wasn't_ , Cloud didn't see any way they could talk about it without being overheard by every busybody gossip in the regiment. The same lack of privacy that had caused the situation in the first place was going to continue to exacerbate it.

And even if they could find a moment alone and decided to say something, _what_ could they say? If there was a casual way to ask your best friend if he'd been aware that you were jerking off before he started, Cloud couldn't think of it.

Another thought blindsided him, leaving him standing under the spray staring blankly at the tiles, dripping soapsuds from his half-rinsed hair. What if Zack thought _Cloud_ was the one who had broken the rule and started at the same time as Zack? Worse, what if he suspected Cloud had been doing it _because_ he'd been listening to Zack?

The worst part was, Cloud didn't think he could believably deny it, even though it wasn't true. He had been thinking about Zack, even if he hadn't been aware of what was going on above him at the time. Did it really matter whether or not he'd been listening? The fact was that he'd been jerking off because of Zack, and that crossed some kind of line of acceptable behaviour between friends. No wonder Zack was hard pressed to keep his usual cheer up.

Swearing under his breath, Cloud scrubbed the rest of the soap out of his hair and twisted the shower off with a violent motion. How the hell were they going to fix this? He didn't want to lose the best - maybe the only - friend he'd ever had over his stupid hormones.

Maybe if they ignored it long enough, things would go back to normal as they forgot about it. He could only hope that would be the case, because he didn't think he could stand it if things stayed the way they were.

As he made his way back to the bunk to get dressed, he once again passed Zack. "Hurry up," the older boy urged him. "You don't have much time left. I'll see you in the mess." Cloud nodded and hurried on with his head down, his throat tight. Zack always waited for him so they could go out together, even if it meant they would both be late to morning inspection. It was just one of those things that everyone in the unit knew; if one of their two youngest members was in trouble, it was a guarantee the other one was in equally hot water.

That Zack had gone on ahead of him today spoke volumes, and Cloud saw more than one curious look directed at him as he quickly dressed. Flushing, he did his best to ignore everyone and just concentrate on not doing something like doing his buttons up wrong and getting in trouble during inspection.

He made it in time, but only barely. As B platoon fell into its accustomed place in the ranks of alpha company for inspection, Cloud found himself at the tail end of their file. Zack was somewhere in the middle, his dark spikes visible from the corner of Cloud's eye.

Morning inspection was a desultory process most days, unless there was going to be a parade or other event later in the day. Today was no exception, and they were dismissed quickly for breakfast. Cloud almost expected Zack to hurry on without him, but somewhat to his relief the older boy hung back until Cloud caught up with him so they could walk together like they usually did.

"Do you think they could inspect us any more often in the day?" Zack asked as they walked, a complaint frequently voiced by the members of the Shinra military. "I mean, really. Morning inspection before breakfast, then gear inspection after, evening inspection before bed, and an extra one any time in between that we're lined up!"

"Yeah," Cloud said shortly. He hadn't meant to be so abrupt, but it was hard to force words out through the anxious constriction in his throat.

Zack's steps faltered briefly, then recovered as the older boy tried a new tack. "At least the food is better than boot camp, even if it is only a marginal improvement," he said doggedly. "I'm willing to believe there's actually vegetable content in this glop, anyway. You think the SOLDIERs get any better?"

"Probably," Cloud answered, shrugging. He'd always been the more taciturn of the two of them, but today he just couldn't seem to get anything out but one word answers. Maybe because he was focusing so intently on his feet, just so he wouldn't have to look up and meet Zack's eyes. If he did, he just _knew_ he was going to blush so horribly that his thoughts from the night before would be written all over his face, and then Zack would never speak to him again.

"Yeah, so, uh..." They'd reached the mess, and Cloud's reticence seemed to be throwing off even Zack at his most determined chatterbox best. Visibly casting around for another topic of conversation, the older boy floundered. "Some of the guys were talking in the shower, they heard from A platoon that we might be getting an out-of-city assignment today. That'll be kind of cool, right? Getting out and actually doing something useful instead of just wandering around guarding a tower that nobody in their right mind would break into."

Out of the city? Cloud perked up a bit at that. "Really?" He hadn't been out of Midgar since he'd first arrived, and he'd been so focused on getting there that he hadn't really paid attention to much between Nibelheim and the city. Before that, he'd never left the Nibel mountains. It would be nice to get out and see more of the world. That was supposed to be one of the big attractions to signing up with the Shinra military, after all.

Obviously glad to have gotten more of a response from Cloud, Zack nodded. "Yeah. They've been scouting locations for a new reactor, and apparently there's been some resistance from the locals near Mideel." He snorted as they picked up their trays. "Dunno why they're even bothering to put a reactor in such a remote location. Mideel's not that well populated. But Troy said he heard there's an unusually high concentration of mako there, so maybe that's why."

"Maybe," Cloud agreed softly, glancing around for a place to sit. Unlike boot camp, there were rarely large unoccupied spaces here unless they pushed to be the first ones in after inspection. The whole company shared one mess, not just their platoon. Even so, after the first week of Zack shamelessly bribing or blackmailing people into giving up their place so he could sit next to or across from Cloud, someone always made sure to leave two spaces open for them somewhere.

Today Cloud almost wished they hadn't, as it would have given him a good excuse not to have to face Zack for just a little longer. It was cowardly of him and he knew it, but he couldn't stand this horrible awkwardness between them and he knew it was mostly his fault. Zack was at least trying to pretend that nothing out of the ordinary had happened, even if his smile was forced.

If anything, more space had been left for them than usual, giving them a little bubble at one end of a table. Cloud sat down with a wince, taking that as a sign that everyone knew what had happened between them last night. He wasn't sure if the extra space was a misguided attempt to give them privacy to talk about it, or if everyone was hoping they might fight if left to their own devices. There was nothing like a good fight to create juicy gossip, and gossip was the lubrication in the gears of any military unit.

With a quiet sigh Cloud almost missed, Zack sat across from him. "I suppose if we are shipped out, we'll be subsisting on field rations for however long we're out there, so we might as well enjoy the food while we've got it," the older boy declared, scooping up a healthy portion of oatmeal. "Hell, by the time we get back we'll probably be grateful for this stuff," he added when he'd swallowed.

"Mm." Cloud nodded his agreement, his eyes fixed on his plate as he concentrated on eating. It was more of an effort than usual; the same lump in his throat that made it hard to get words out was making it difficult to swallow as well.

Apparently that was so non-verbal even Zack couldn't find anything to say in the face of it, or else the older boy had just run out of conversational gambits. Either way he didn't say anything more, and they descended into an awkward silence as they ate their breakfasts.

With every minute that went by, the hard knot in Cloud's chest grew. The food tasted even more like sawdust than usual, dry and unappetizing in his mouth. Half of him wished Zack would just give up and leave him in peace for a while so he could think through this, but the rest of him was terrified that Zack would do exactly that and wouldn't come back again. Cloud had said all along that Zack was crazy for wanting to be friends with someone like him, but he'd stopped preparing himself for the eventuality that Zack would come to his senses a long time ago. If it happened now, he didn't think he'd be able to stand it.

Finally, when they were shoving the last remnants of dry toast around on their plates, Zack sighed again and toed Cloud's shin. "Hey." Lost in his increasingly panicked thoughts, Cloud was startled enough by the sudden touch that he actually looked up. Immediately he was caught by Zack's intense grey-violet gaze, the older boy looking back at him with an expression Cloud couldn't identify. It certainly was nothing like his usual happy-go-lucky grin, or even the more sober face he would sometimes show when discussing a serious topic or focused on a task.

"Look, Cloud," Zack started, clearly searching hard for words. "I didn't mean... that is, I don't want..."

Whatever Zack had been about to say was interrupted by a sudden shout from the door. "Captain in the room! Attention!" Without thought Cloud and Zack shoved their chairs back and jumped to attention along with everyone else, saluting blindly in whatever direction they happened to be facing when the call was made.

Cloud was facing the doorway, so he could see alpha company's captain standing there surveying them all. "As you were," the man said, and there was a rustle and much scraping of chairs as everyone dropped the salute and sat down again.

Zack flashed Cloud a look that clearly said 'later', but there was a hint of pleading in his eyes that turned it from a demand into a request. Cloud looked away again, focusing on the captain so he wouldn't have to see the expression in Zack's eyes. Maybe if he put everything into paying attention to the captain, he wouldn't have to sit there coming up with progressively more wild theories about what the older boy might have been about to say.

The announcements were straightforward, more or less exactly what Zack had been speculating on. They were being shipped out to the southern islands, along with a company of sword and a unit of SOLDIER 3rd Class. The last set everyone chattering among themselves as they were dismissed to pack their gear.

"Did you hear that, Cloud?" Zack crowed, whatever he'd been about to say before forgotten in the face of this new information. "SOLDIERs! They probably won't have much time for the likes of us when we actually get there, but it'll take us a while to get there, right? They'll probably send us by transport to Junon and then put us on a ship for the islands, that would make the most sense. Maybe we can get them to tell us what it'll be like, or what we can expect from the exams. Any tips we can get will help, right?"

"Right," Cloud agreed weakly, but his face had gone a bit green at the mention of a ship. The voyage across from Costa del Sol to Junon had been, without exception, the most miserable two days of his life, and it was an experience he'd worked hard to put out of his mind. Objectively he'd known that eventually he was going to have to deal with something like that again when his unit was shipped out, but he hadn't thought it would come so soon. He only hoped he could keep from making a total idiot of himself in front of everyone.

His lack of enthusiasm seemed to dampen Zack's, and the older boy sighed again. "C'mon, let's go pack our gear," he said. He reached out, and Cloud held his breath. Zack was forever ruffling his hair, claiming the spikes just begged for that kind of attention. It was such a normal and familiar gesture, and it was the most reassuring sign he'd had so far that they might be able to get past this and put their friendship back on an even keel.

Instead of the accustomed touch of Zack's hand messing his hair, though, he felt the barest brush of fingers against his bangs before the older boy snatched his hand back like it had been burned. "Right," Zack said, clearing his throat and looking away. It was hard to tell with his darker skin, but Cloud thought there might have been a faint flush on his cheeks. "So, let's go."

His heart hovering somewhere around his boots, Cloud nodded and stood, clearing his tray.

After that they didn't have time to so much as look at each other, let alone talk. The flurry of activity involved in getting ready to ship out was overwhelming, and in the chaos of trying to ensure they each had all the gear they were required to take with them Cloud didn't have a chance to worry about the state of their friendship.

The transport trucks they were loaded into were noisy and not terribly well sprung, not to mention crowded. Cloud hung onto his seat and did his best not to break anything or go flying each time they hit a bump in the road, fighting to keep from being sick or panicking in the close confines of the truck. Zack, restless as always when forced into inactivity, wandered up and down the narrow aisle between the seats.

It was only a few hours to Junon, but getting out of the truck didn't help as much as he'd hoped it would. As soon as he escaped the confines of the transport the smells of oil and gas and closely packed bodies were replaced by the salty scent of sea air, and that just reminded his stomach of how he'd felt the last time he'd been near that fishy smell.

He was a little distracted by watching the unit of SOLDIERs embark the ship ahead of them. Their uniforms were different from the ubiquitous blue of the troopers, and they looked the perfect image of a group of heroes as they laughed and chattered among themselves. Their massive buster swords were slung casually across their backs; Cloud had never seen one so close before, and looking at them he couldn't imagine how the men were able to wield something that massive. Those swords were as big as he was!

"Pretty impressive, huh?" Zack said beside him as they walked up the gangway, his eyes shining as he studied the SOLDIERs. "Wow. Just think, in a couple of months that'll be us."

"Uh-huh," Cloud managed, trying to convince himself he couldn't possibly be feeling the ship rocking beneath his feet. They were still docked, and the ship was big enough that it wouldn't be moving with just the waves in the harbour.

"Look at their eyes!" Zack continued enthusiastically, apparently not noticing Cloud's distress. Or maybe just assuming it was more of the same behaviour the younger boy had been exhibiting all day. "It's true, they really do glow in the dark. Look at the way they move, they're perfectly balanced. And these guys are only 3rd class. Can you imagine what the 1st class guys are like?"

"Probably a lot like Sephiroth was," Cloud said, swallowing hard to keep his bile down where it belonged. Behind them the loading bay was closing, and he could hear running feet on the deck above them as the sailors got ready to cast off. Taking careful, deep breaths, he did his best to steady himself in the gloom of the hold.

"True," Zack agreed. "C'mon, let's find somewhere to sit before all the good places get taken. Maybe we can sit near the SOLDIERs."

Cloud followed along without comment, looking around in an attempt to distract himself from his queasy stomach. He didn't know why Zack was bothering to look for a seat; it wasn't like the older boy would be in it for longer than five minutes at a time. Zack was not a person who'd been designed to sit still. Cloud would be grateful for the seat, though, since he didn't think his legs would hold out on him for long.

The hold was crowded, and despite the fact that this was supposed to be a troop transport ship it didn't look like it had been designed with any such purpose in mind. The area they were in was obviously intended to be a cargo hold, with bunks and seats hastily installed to accommodate them. There weren't enough seats for everyone, and they were going to have to sleep in shifts. Cloud hoped it wouldn't take them too long to get to Mideel.

They didn't manage to sit anywhere near the SOLDIERs, since everyone else had exactly the same idea. Cloud was just as grateful, since the last thing he wanted to do was make an idiot of himself by being seasick in front of the men he would most like to impress. He'd worry about finding a way to get near them when they were safely back on dry land and he could be sure the contents of his stomach would stay where he told them to.

There was a lurch as the ship's massive engines kicked in, and then Cloud could sense motion as they pulled slowly away from the dock. His stomach sloshed in response, and he closed his eyes tightly as he collapsed down into the seat. At least his helmet would keep anyone else from seeing how green he was. If he was lucky, nobody would ever know and he wouldn't end up as the butt of merciless teasing for it.

True to Cloud's prediction Zack was up and pacing less than five minutes after he'd sat down. His seat was quickly claimed by another trooper, but Zack didn't seem to mind. If the gentle sway of the deck bothered him, Zack didn't show it, walking as gracefully as if he'd been on solid ground. "Man, our first assignment, I'm so excited," he enthused, his voice gleeful. "Whatever's going on down there, it must be a pretty big deal if they're sending two whole companies _and_ a SOLDIER unit. Even if they are only 3rd class. Funny, I always heard people in Mideel were laid-back."

Grateful that Zack seemed to have recovered enough not to require Cloud to respond in order to continue the conversation, Cloud opened his eyes again and followed Zack's restless pacing. "I bet it's not really the people from Mideel," Zack continued, thinking out loud. "Probably one of those crazy ecological terrorist groups. Mideel's in the middle of a lush forest, they're probably upset at the idea of cutting some of it down to build a reactor. They had the same problem when they built the one in Gongaga, a lot of people didn't want to lose that much of the forest. It turned out for the best in the end, though. Once we had mako power to heat and light everything, we didn't have to use wood for fuel. So in the long run, it actually saved the forest."

That was something Cloud had never considered before. The Nibel reactor was in the middle of a large expanse of rock, not anything anybody cared about. The only real objection to it that Cloud could remember had been that it was so far away, and workers had to cross the flimsy rope and plank bridges to get out there. Of course the Nibel reactor had been built long before Cloud had been born, so maybe there had been objections to it that he didn't know about.

Watching Zack pace, the back-and-forth motion interrupted by the up-and-down induced by the heaving deck, wasn't doing anything to help Cloud's seasickness. Biting his lip, he ordered his stomach to behave itself and tried to remind himself that motion sickness was entirely psychological. His stomach wasn't listening.

"Hey, Cloud?" The sudden uncertain tone in Zack's voice made him focus again, and he found Zack had stopped pacing to crouch in front of him. The older boy had pulled his helmet off and was holding it tucked under one arm, revealing his worried expression. "Listen, I never got a chance to say at breakfast..."

Once again a hundred horrible possibilities welled up in Cloud's mind, about what Zack might have been intending to say earlier. The sudden case of extreme nerves tipped the already delicate balance he had with his equilibrium, and his body rebelled.

"Zack... I can't..." he managed to gasp out. "Move!" he blurted as he scrambled out of his seat and bolted past Zack, heading for the stairs up to the deck.

"Cloud!" Zack's worried voice came from behind him. "We're not supposed to go up there! Cloud? Cloud!"

Ignoring him in favour of reaching open air before he lost control entirely, Cloud pelted up the stairs and crashed straight into the first railing he found. He promptly lost his entire breakfast over the side, heaving helplessly. The fresh air helped a little, and the motion of the boat seemed slightly less pronounced up here, so he managed to stop throwing up after a little while and just clung weakly to the railing.

Pulling his confining helmet off he dropped it beside him, and that helped too. Planting one foot on it to keep it from rolling away, he stood there gasping in the salty air and trying not to be sick again.

"Seasick, kid?" one of the sailors asked, coming up to him. Wordlessly he nodded, and he must have looked truly miserable because the burly sailor apparently decided to take pity on him. "You troops aren't supposed to be up here, but I'll let you stay for a little while, as long as you keep out of the way. Focus on the horizon, it helps."

"Thanks," Cloud rasped out, obeying the advice and fixing his eyes on the point where the water met the sky. It did help a little, and he decided to stay up here as long as they would let him. Not only would it help his seasickness, but it would let him avoid whatever recriminations Zack was going to make about last night just a little longer. Sighing, he stared out over the water. It was going to be a long trip.


	7. Chapter 7

The only word Cloud could come up with to describe the Mideel jungle was 'soggy'. The moisture that hung heavy in the balmy air seeped into _everything_ , and sweat just stayed on your body instead of evaporating. Surprisingly, despite the high humidity it hadn't yet rained. When one of the locals had overheard Cloud wishing it would, the man had laughed and told him that the only rain the area got was during the monsoon season.

The lush forest was so dense you couldn't see more than a few feet away, and they'd already had a couple of people get lost. So far everyone had been found again and there hadn't been any casualties, but they had strict orders to always remain in sight of at least one other person when on patrol.

Cloud was, to put it lightly, completely out of his element. Born and raised in the arid mountains of Nibelheim, he'd never seen so much greenery in one place in his life. The heat was exacerbated by the humidity, and it all combined to make Cloud feel sluggish and irritable.

Zack, on the other hand, was most definitely _in_ his element. This jungle was apparently similar enough to the forests around Gongaga that Zack felt right at home. The older boy was a popular patrol partner, because he always seemed to be able to find the route that took the least effort and encountered the fewest stinging bugs.

Not that Cloud was reaping the benefits of his friend's experience. Things had not improved between them over the course of the voyage; if anything, they'd gotten worse. When Cloud had finally returned below decks, he'd found Zack engaged in conversation with the SOLDIERs, having wandered over and shamelessly introduced himself. Cloud didn't have nearly enough nerve to just walk up and join them, especially not when he was still in danger of throwing up all over them.

After that Zack had seemed to avoid Cloud, just as Cloud had feared he would. The only thing that confused him was that sometimes he would catch the older boy giving him soulful looks, like a puppy begging for forgiveness, but so far Cloud wasn't sure just what they were supposed to mean. Zack was the one avoiding _him_ , not the other way around.

The end result was that Cloud was more miserable than at any other time in his life, up to and including the voyage from Costa del Sol to Junon. Slogging through humid rainforest for twelve hours a day on what seemed to be a wild goose chase did nothing to improve his mood, either. He snapped and snarled at anyone who got close to him, and eventually the rest of his platoon wisely decided to leave him alone.

Today was no exception. As he forced his way through the dense undergrowth, Cloud did his best to keep his rifle from getting tangled in the greenery. The insects were especially bad today, and he was certain he was going to end up with a bad case of anaemia by nightfall. To his left he could hear one of the sword platoon members crashing along, catching occasional glimpses of the man through the greenery. There was nothing to his right, since he'd been assigned to the flank.

Up ahead the SOLDIER in charge of their unit called for a rest stop, and Cloud staggered to a halt gratefully. Moving through the jungle was hard work, and his heavy uniform was plastered to his body with sweat. He wished he could take his helmet off, but some of the others had already gotten in trouble for doing that while on patrol earlier in the week.

Gulping water from his canteen, he rested the butt of his rifle on the ground and looked around. This area looked exactly the same as every other bit of jungle he'd seen over the last five days. There was certainly no sign of the people who had supposedly shot down a Shinra helicopter and sabotaged the efforts of the surveyors. General speculation among the troops was that whoever it was had been smart enough to pull out when they heard Shinra was sending reinforcements, but they couldn't go home until they got orders to that effect from the brass in Midgar.

"All right, we're almost at the turnaround point," the SOLDIER said, pacing up and down their ragged line. "Another hour and we'll swing around and head back to base. I know you're all tired and frustrated, but stay sharp. That could be exactly what these people are waiting for. Keep your eyes peeled, and make sure you don't lose sight of the people on either side of you. I don't want anyone getting lost. Understand?"

"Yes sir!" Cloud joined the weary chorus of acknowledgement, trying not to lean too much of his weight on his rifle. He wanted this horrible mission to be over already, and he wanted to go back to the familiar routines in Midgar. More importantly he desperately wanted things to return to normal between him and Zack, but he still had no idea how to go about setting things right.

Automatically he glanced over to the left. He knew Zack was somewhere close by, maybe even on the other side of the swordsman, because he'd heard the older boy's voice at an earlier rest stop. That marked the closest the two of them had been to each other all week, and it made Cloud's chest ache.

"Move out!" the SOLDIER declared, and Cloud hefted his rifle back to his shoulder and started walking again. He honestly didn't know what these patrols were supposed to accomplish; you'd have to be deaf not to hear them coming in plenty of time to hide, and they could walk right by the terrorists and not see them five feet from the flank.

They'd been walking for maybe fifteen minutes when there was a startled shout from the left and rear. Cloud turned, automatically squinting as if that would help him see through the trees, but he couldn't see anything. His hands tensed on his rifle as another shout came, accompanied by a burst of gunfire. The next sound was a roar that couldn't possibly have been made by any human throat.

"Close ranks!" the SOLDIER bellowed, running from the point position back to where the chaos was. "Close ranks, form a square! Don't let them draw you out or you'll be unprotected!" The distinctive sound of metal on leather reached Cloud as the man drew his sword, and then the ground-shaking roar came again.

Belatedly Cloud realized he was just standing there on the unprotected flank, and started moving. Almost immediately he encountered the swordsman who had been beside him, engaged in a fight with a red-scaled dragon that was twice his size. His sword was proving somewhat ineffective against its hard scales, but its wicked talons had no such trouble piercing his uniform.

Without thinking Cloud dropped to one knee to steady himself, braced his rifle against his shoulder and fired. His aim had improved since his time as a cadet; he wasn't a crack shot by any means, but at least he could hit a target this big. The bullet pierced the scales at the thing's shoulder, making it roar in fury. From that sound Cloud knew this was the same creature that had attacked their rearguard.

It also looked vaguely familiar. As he sighted for another shot and waited for the swordsman to get out of his line of fire, Cloud realized it was the same sort of dragon they'd encountered in the cage in Hojo's lab. Which meant it was one of the creatures that were supposedly appearing inexplicably around Midgar - except Midgar was half a world away. How had it gotten here?

This dragon didn't have a tattoo on its shoulder, but that meant very little to Cloud at the moment. All he was worried about was surviving, hopefully along with the swordsman.

"Get back!" he shouted, firing again and driving the dragon a little further back. He wasn't sure his rifle was doing more than just stinging it, but at least it was more damage than the swordsman could do. "You're not hurting it, get out of the way!"

The swordsman turned to run while the dragon was distracted, but neither of them had counted on the fact that claws and teeth weren't the creature's only weapon. Opening its mouth, the dragon breathed a wave of fire at the hapless man, who instantly burst into flames. Screaming, the swordsman thrashed and dropped to the ground, trying to roll to put out the flames, but they were too strong. The horrid stench of burning meat reached Cloud, and he gagged.

Trying not to let the screaming distract him, he fired again on the dragon, aiming at the head. If he could hit it in the eye maybe he could blind it, and it might run off. Or it might get even angrier and fry him too, but it was probably planning to do that anyway so he didn't really have much to lose.

Whatever deity watched over fools and small children was apparently guarding him as well today, and he didn't think it was because of his age. His shot entered the dragon's mouth as it opened its jaw to breathe at him, and the tissue there was unprotected by scales. It made a horrible noise, shuddered, and collapsed, shot through the brain.

Jumping to his feet, Cloud started to run over to the swordsman. The man was lying still now, not screaming any longer, but Cloud had to check and make sure it really was too late to help him.

He hadn't taken more than a few steps before a heavy, snarling weight crashed into his hip, knocking him down and sending him sprawling. Cloud screamed as vicious fangs sank into his thigh, and he looked down to see the narrow face of one of the wolves he'd mistaken for a Nibel Wolf in Hojo's lab. The creature had him by the leg and didn't seem inclined to let go, shaking its head as if trying to break the bone.

Scrabbling for the rifle he'd dropped as he fell, Cloud snatched it up and started bashing at the wolf's nose with the butt. He was too close to be able to get a good angle to shoot with the long gun, and he would have risked hitting his own leg anyway. As grateful as he'd been to be in the rifle corps when facing the dragon, now he desperately wished he had access to a sword as well. The rifle wasn't making much impact on the wolf, except to irritate it and make it clench its jaws harder.

"Cloud!" Through the roar of blood rushing in his ears, Cloud was vaguely aware of a familiar voice calling his name. "Cloud! Damn it, get off him!"

For a dizzy moment Cloud thought the command had been directed at him, and he choked down a hysterical protest that he'd be more than happy to get off the wolf if only he _could_. Zack grabbed the sword the other trooper had dropped when he caught fire, and started hacking at the wolf's hindquarters. "Let _go_ , damn it!"

Snarling, the wolf finally released Cloud's leg to turn on Zack. The moment he had enough distance to be able to level his gun, Cloud buried the muzzle in the wolf's chest and pulled the trigger. At the same time Zack slashed down with the sword, catching it squarely in the side of its neck. With a gurgling whine the wolf collapsed, half draped over Cloud's legs.

"Shit, Cloud, are you okay?" Zack crouched over him, dropping the sword and using both hands to apply pressure to the wound. "Looks like it missed the artery, but I don't think you're going to be walking on that any time soon. Fuck!"

The panicked concern in the older boy's grey-violet eyes made something that had been far too tight in Cloud's chest finally relax, despite the pain that was making him light-headed. Zack did still care, even if he was avoiding Cloud. Maybe they could save their friendship yet.

Assuming they both lived through the next ten minutes. "Zack, these are the same animals we saw in the lab," Cloud said, dazed.

"Yeah, I know," Zack agreed, ripping the material of Cloud's ruined pants and using the strips to make bandages. "So much for the theory that their appearance is related to the reactors somehow. The nearest reactor is way out in the plains south of Junon."

There was a crashing noise somewhere nearby, and Zack grabbed the sword and spun around. The next monster to come through wasn't anything Cloud had seen before, though it looked like some sort of animated carnivorous plant. Right behind it was a human, though - one not dressed in the familiar Shinra uniform.

The man gave them a startled look, then swore and ran off into the undergrowth in another direction. "Shit, that must be one of the terrorists!" Zack exclaimed, hacking at the plant's reaching vines. "They must be the ones who released the monsters. Damn it, he's getting away!"

"Go!" Cloud shouted, firing at the plant's main body when Zack stepped away for a moment. "Zack, you have to follow him! If we don't catch him now he'll just do it all over again, and more people will die!"

It took all his courage to say the words, and then some. There was no way he could put weight on his leg, and he was the next thing to completely helpless as a result. If Zack left, he was probably going to die. If Zack didn't go, though, and the man got away, then many more people might die the next time a patrol was caught unaware. These monsters were way beyond their level.

"Fuck!" Frustrated, Zack slammed his sword through the head of the plant, severing it messily from the stalk. The whole thing collapsed and shrivelled up, leaving the dark-haired boy panting over it. "I don't want to just leave you here!"

"Zack." Cloud looked up at him, forcing his expression into the most determined look he could manage. "You know you have to."

Growling, Zack reached up and hastily stripped off the bandolier that held his extra ammunition. "You take this," he ordered, dropping it into Cloud's lap. When the younger boy started to object, he shook his head sharply. "I've got the sword, and I can dodge. You can't. I _will_ come back for you, I swear!" Gripping Cloud's shoulder, he stared into the smaller boy's eyes. "Stay alive."

With that he was gone, darting and weaving his way through the underbrush in the direction the terrorist had gone, moving with considerably more ease than the strange man had managed. If he was lucky, he would be able to catch up.

Trying not to let his heart pound its way right out of his chest, Cloud hefted his rifle and set it against his shoulder. He wanted to be able to sight and fire on anything that came out of the jungle the moment he saw it, even if it was tiring to hold the rifle up like that.

He knew his chances of surviving this were slim to none. Shaking hard enough that he could hear the rifle rattling, he gritted his teeth and tried not to panic. At least, if he was going to die, it wouldn't be with Zack mad at him. Whatever awkwardness had been between them had evaporated in the face of the possibility of death, and he was grateful for that much.

Straining his ears, he tried to catch some sign of the rest of the patrol. He could hear shouting in the far distance, and the occasional burst of gunfire, but nothing near enough that they might be able to hear him if he hollered for help. He was on his own - and even if the patrol won the fight, they might never come looking for him. The only one who knew he was alive and injured out here was Zack, and there was no guarantee Zack was going to survive a headlong charge after the enemy. He swallowed, trying not to think about it. He wasn't sure which thought bothered him more - that he might be left alone to die out here, or that Zack might not survive.

Several times he heard creatures prowling in the bushes, and fired on them to scare them off. Twice he didn't succeed, and had to keep pumping bullets frantically into the attacking monsters until they dropped. One of them, a cat-like creature, made it all the way to his foot before it finally collapsed, and he had far too good a view of its gleaming fangs.

When he heard the soft shushing of wings in the trees, his heart clenched in fear. That wasn't just one creature, not unless it had multiple sets of wings. A small cloud of bats emerged from the trees around him, circling above him with what he imagined was a hungry look in their eyes. They seemed to be attracted to the blood that was seeping through his makeshift bandages, darting down to dive at his leg again and again. He swatted them off with the rifle barrel, again cursing the fact that he didn't have any other weapon. They were far too fast in the air for him to shoot them.

He tried anyway, using up the last of his loaded ammunition. When he fumbled for more, the swarm descended on him all at once and he felt half a dozen sharp stabbing pains on his extremities. Yelling, he flailed around him with the rifle, trying to bat them away and protect his face at the same time.

They pulled back to stay just out of his range, and hovered there in a flapping group. They were waiting for him to get tired, he realized in horror as he paused in his flailing to catch his breath and one of them darted at him again. They knew he couldn't hurt them or run away, and they were trying to wear him out.

Shaking, he firmed his grip on the rifle and set his mouth in a determined line. He might be facing death, but he wasn't going to go down without a fight. Shifting the rifle to his off hand, he fumbled around on the ground for something to throw at them.

They dove on him again, and he jerked his hand back to the gun, ready to beat them off once more. Instead they scattered as something large and dark charged into the middle of the cloud with a furious yell. For a moment he was certain he was dead, that it was another monster come to rend him to pieces with claw and fang.

It took Cloud's stunned brain a moment to realize what he was actually seeing. Zack swung the sword in large sweeping motions, hitting two or three of the bats on every swipe. They converged on him, trying to swarm him from behind, but he kept circling too fast for them to gang up on him.

Once his heart started again and he remembered how to breathe, Cloud brought his reloaded rifle back up and fired on the edges of the group of bats, trying to drive some of them away. He managed to distract some of them long enough for Zack to finish them off, and finally the last bat dropped to lie flapping weakly on the forest floor.

Breathing hard, Zack spiked the sword into the ground and leaned against it. "What're you looking at me like that for?" he asked the still astonished Cloud with a fierce grin. "I told you I'd come back for you, didn't I?"

"I... I thought..." Cloud swallowed hard and closed his eyes, not wanting Zack to see the shameful tears of relief that were threatening to spill over. "I thought I was dead for sure."

There was a rustle as Zack knelt beside him, and the older boy's hand brushed over his face. Cloud opened his eyes again to see Zack giving him a deadly serious look. "I will _always_ come back for you," Zack swore. "No matter what, Cloud, I will never leave you behind. I promise."

Somehow, even though he shouldn't have been able to make a promise like that because who knew what circumstances might happen in the future, Cloud believed him. "Zack," he rasped, his voice hoarse with the fear of the last hour, and the stress of the last week. "Zack, I'm sorry. Please, please can we go back to the way things were before? I hate not being able to talk to you. Please don't avoid me any more!"

"You're sorry?" Zack looked surprised. "What the hell for? I'm the one who screwed up. You seemed so mad at me, I thought you were disgusted and I was trying to give you space. I... ah, hell, it doesn't matter whose fault it is." He shook his head. "I'll forgive you if you forgive me, okay? C'mon, let's get the hell out of here." He turned and presented his back, gesturing. "Climb on."

"What are you, nuts?" Cloud asked him in disbelief. "You can't carry me all the way back to the base, we're six hours out!"

"Well, unless you're packing a Restore materia and have a hell of a lot more energy left than I've got, it's the only way you're getting out of here because you sure as hell aren't walking," Zack replied. "Now climb on. I'm _not_ leaving you behind again."

The fierce note in the older boy's voice convinced Cloud he was serious. Any thoughts he'd had of protesting that Zack should leave and go for help died unspoken. His vision swimming from blood loss and shock, he scrambled up onto Zack's back and wrapped his arms around the older boy's broad shoulders. Zack hooked his arms under Cloud's knees and stood carefully, grunting with the effort.

"Fuck, it's a good thing this didn't happen a couple months from now," he commented. "I don't think I could carry you if you were much heavier, and the way you've been growing it wouldn't take long. Dragging you along with one arm over my shoulder would be cumbersome as hell. You're gonna have to shoot anything that comes at us, I can't swing a sword like this."

"I'll manage," Cloud said, clinging harder with one arm so he could free the other to hold the rifle. It was an uncomfortable position for both of them, but better than getting eaten by a monster. Zack started walking, seemingly uncaring of the vines and branches that slapped him in the face because he couldn't use his arms to push them out of the way. His bulk sheltered Cloud from the worst of it, but Cloud felt guilty for every scratch and scrape Zack picked up.

It took much longer than six hours before they finally staggered back into the camp. Zack's feet were dragging, and Cloud could feel the older boy's breath rasping in his chest with each heaving pant. They'd tried having Cloud limp along beside, using Zack as a crutch, but as predicted it had been far too awkward to be practical and Zack had ended up carrying him again.

There was a shout as they were spotted by the sentries, and a rush of troops clustered around them. People babbled questions and orders, talking over each other until the words became nothing but a disorienting jumble of noise. Finally one of the SOLDIERs pushed through, followed by medics with a stretcher. "Report!"

"We encountered one of the enemy terrorists, and I followed him," Zack said, his voice hoarse with exhaustion. He didn't release Cloud, though Cloud suspected that might be because he was so tired he'd forgotten how to let go. "I lost him in the underbrush, and came back for Cloud. He's got a nasty wolf bite on his left thigh, and multiple stabbing wounds from some bats."

"Here, let us take him," one of the medics coaxed, and slowly Zack released Cloud into their arms. Cloud sucked in a pained breath as they set him on his feet for a moment, then sighed as they settled him onto the stretcher.

"Where are the stab wounds?" one of them asked him brusquely. He felt the cool energy of a low-level cure spell wash over him, and the worst of the throbbing in his leg subsided.

"Legs and arms," Cloud muttered, dizzy with even the relative relief from pain. "I managed to protect my torso."

"Really?" the medic sounded surprised. "Where did all the blood on your shirt come from, then?"

Glancing down for the first time, Cloud blinked for a confused moment. He was certain that the uniform tunic he'd put on that morning was the same vivid blue as he always wore, but his shirt front was a dark rusty colour. When he finally realized that what he was seeing was blood, he went white.

"Zack?" he gasped, jerking his eyes up to his friend's face. The older boy smiled weakly back at him.

"He gonna be okay?" Zack asked the medics, who nodded. "Good." Without another word his eyes slid closed, and he crumpled to the ground in a heap.


	8. Chapter 8

Triage, Cloud had decided, was a dirty word. Oh, he understood the reasoning behind the concept and even agreed with it in theory. The problem was, there was nothing theoretical about watching his best friend die by inches while the people who could have saved him did nothing.

Nobody had expected the kind of debilitating casualties they'd received. Cloud's patrol was the first to be attacked, but not the last. Even knowing there was a possibility of facing monsters, troops were still being cut down left and right. The only medics they'd brought along were the ones permanently attached to the companies, and two people were not nearly enough to handle the sudden influx of wounded and dying.

Their limited supply of potions was being hoarded against future emergencies, and the medics only had so much energy to spend on Restore and Revive spells. The SOLDIERs took precedence, of course, and after that the medics concentrated on the people with more minor injuries who could be quickly healed and put back out in the field. Serious injuries were treated with bandages and sutures, and left to heal on their own.

At least the wolf bite on his thigh had been serious enough to put Cloud firmly in the latter category as well, so he was free to sit by Zack's bed and soothe the feverish boy as best he could. Infection had set in quickly; the multiple stabbing wounds Zack had taken from the swarm of bats had been exacerbated by carrying Cloud on his back for hours. The shock of losing so much blood hadn't helped, either.

Three days later he still hadn't woken up, though he'd opened his eyes a few times. Cloud had sat by him night and day, dozing in the uncomfortable chair next to his bed, making sure Zack's bandages were changed regularly and bathing his face in cold water.

In the beginning, the medics who had occasionally come to check up on them had been hopeful. Each time they came, though, as Zack slipped farther and farther into delirium, their estimates for his recovery had dropped. The last time, the doctor hadn't even looked at the wounds, just silently shaking his head and walking away when he saw the state Zack was in.

Cloud was furious, but none of his arguments or pleas had any effect on the exhausted medics. Zack was beyond the point where a phoenix down or first level Life spell would help him, and even if the medics had wanted to cast anything higher they simply didn't have the energy for it. Their answer was the same every time Cloud begged them to do something: "Reinforcements are on the way. If he survives until then, maybe they'll be able to help."

It was the 'surviving until then' part that Cloud was starting to worry about. Zack was getting worse, not better. His breathing was harsh and his pulse was fast and erratic. His skin was hot and tight with fever, but he wasn't sweating at all and Cloud thought that was a bad sign.

"Don't you dare die on me, Zack," he whispered, leaning over as he wiped the older boy's face with the cool cloth once more. "Don't you dare. How am I supposed to watch your back if you're dead, huh? If you die I'll... I'll... I'll find a way to turn you into a ghost and _make_ you haunt me, you hear me? No afterlife for you. You'll be stuck here with me forever. I'm not letting you go."

He rested his forehead against the older boy's, and when he felt warm moisture there he thought for a joyous moment that Zack's fever had finally broken enough for him to start sweating.

Then he realized it was just his own tears, though he hadn't been aware that he was crying until he felt them. Biting back a sob, Cloud drew a deep breath and sat up again. Pity wasn't going to get him anywhere, and grief wasn't appropriate. Zack needed him to be the strong one right now, and Cloud would be damned before he'd fail his friend in this.

Turning, he wrung out the cloth again, noting absently that he needed to get more ice soon. The muggy heat of the Mideel jungle made it hard to keep anything cool for long, and probably wasn't helping Zack at all. At least they'd found some kind of smoking incense to put down at the doors of the infirmary tent, to help keep out all the insects.

"I'm not letting you go," he said again more firmly, drawing the cool cloth over Zack's face once more. "Not now. Not when we just fixed things. I'll find a way."

"So... cute..." The harsh whisper was so soft Cloud almost thought he'd imagined it, but when he jerked his startled gaze up he found Zack's eyes cracked open, his parched lips tilted in the barest hint of a smile. The fever made his eyes bright enough to rival any SOLDIER's, but unlike the other times he'd opened them he seemed to actually be lucid.

"Zack!" Jumping out of his seat in excitement, Cloud forgot about his own injury and nearly fell on the other boy when his leg buckled under him. In his flailing and hopping attempts to stay upright he managed to knock the basin of water over, drenching a section of the bed and pillow and splashing Zack. "Oh crap, I'm sorry! You're awake! Are you really awake this time?"

"S'okay," Zack says, licking his lips where some of the water had landed. His voice was raspy and hoarse, nothing like his usual smooth tones. "Was thirsty. How long?"

"Three days," Cloud replied, grabbing the basin again. "Hang on, I'm going to get you more water, I'll be right back."

He ran for the water, heedless of anyone who might be in his way. His bad leg shrieked protests at the abuse, but he gritted his teeth and ignored it as best he could. Zack was more important, he could worry about his own injury later.

Running on the way back would only have spilled the water everywhere, but Cloud hurried as much as he could. Even so by the time he returned Zack's eyes had closed again, and Cloud panicked. "Zack? Zack, please, wake up. Please."

"So tired," Zack whispered, forcing his eyes open again. Each breath he took was an obvious effort, and speaking was almost more than he could manage. "Water?"

"I brought it. Here, let me help you sit up a little." Sitting on the bed by Zack's head, Cloud set the basin down and worked one arm under the other boy's shoulders, lifting him at an angle. Dipping the cloth in the water, Cloud brought it over to Zack's face and let it trickle into his mouth. "Not too much. Don't want you to choke on it. How's that? Better?"

"Cute," Zack said again, closing his eyes but still smiling slightly. Cloud choked on an hysterical laugh.

"That's what you said right before the last time you kissed me," he blurted out without thinking. "Are you going to do it again?" Then he remembered that he wasn't sure if that was a dream or not, and held his breath.

To his surprise, Zack winced faintly. "Thought you'd... forgotten. Sorry."

So it had been real. Cloud felt something warm twist in his chest, but it was almost buried by the massive knot of worry and panic. "Don't be sorry, be better!" he chided gruffly. "We'll talk about it when you're well. It's... it's not like I minded," he admitted with a blush. Surely if Zack had been the one to initiate the kiss in the first place, he wouldn't freak out that Cloud hadn't been disgusted?

Zack said nothing, turning his head slightly to nuzzle into Cloud's shoulder. His breathing seemed to be getting even more laboured, and Cloud was starting to feel really scared. "You'll be okay," he said, but it was more of a plea than a reassurance. "You're awake now, that means you're getting better. Your fever will break soon, and the new medics will come and they'll fix you right up."

"Tired," Zack repeated with a sigh. Cloud's throat closed around any other words he might have wanted to say, and he must have tensed because Zack struggled to open his eyes again. From somewhere the older boy dredged up a reserve of energy, and his smile was more real this time. "Lemme sleep. Don't worry. It'll be okay."

Swallowing, Cloud nodded and gently laid Zack down again. He hadn't missed the fact that his friend hadn't said 'I'll be okay'. Zack never lied if he could help it... and they both knew it would have been a lie. He couldn't hang on like this much longer.

"Rest," Cloud ordered him softly. He dipped the cloth once more and wrung it out, folding it and draping it over Zack's brow. "Everything will be all right."

This time his voice held the conviction he hadn't managed to put into it before, and his eyes blazed with determination. Anyone from the recruiting office where he'd signed on would have recognized his expression; it was the same stubborn look that had been on his face every time they threatened to bodily remove him from the doorway.

Unfortunately for the alpha company medic, he didn't know Cloud well enough to know what that expression meant. When he looked up to see the determined young trooper bearing down on him in the centre of the camp, he just sighed and shook his head. "Look, I've told you, there's nothing we can do. You'll just have to... erk!"

His words trailed off in a strangled squawk as Cloud grabbed him by the front of his lab coat and jerked him half off his feet. "Then _find_ something you can do, or so help me I'm going to make your life a living hell!" Cloud growled. He didn't yell, but the intensity in his voice was fearsome. "He's _dying_! You're not even making any effort to help him without magic any more!"

"Limited resources," the medic started, but he was cut off as Cloud shook him.

"Don't give me that!" Fierce blue eyes glared at the man. Cloud should have looked ridiculous, a scrawny blonde kid a good three inches shorter than the man he was threatening, but he didn't. "If you can't help him, then give me the damn materia and let me cast the spell myself!"

Prying at Cloud's hand with both of his, the medic tried to get free. "You can't! You're not anywhere near a high enough level, you don't have that much energy. You'd kill yourself trying!"

"I. Don't. _Care_ ," Cloud gritted out around clenched teeth. "I won't let him die! Now give me the materia, or..."

"What is going on here?" The deep voice broke into Cloud's rant unexpectedly, and he whirled on the person interrupting.

"You stay out of it!" he snarled, not caring if it might be a superior officer he was snapping at.

That is, he didn't care until he actually registered _which_ superior officer was standing in front of him. Long black leather coat, shimmering silver hair, and vivid green eyes all added up to only one person. "S-sephiroth!" Cloud squeaked, horrified. Then, realizing he'd just addressed the general by name, he released the medic and snapped to attention, saluting. "I, uh, that is... sir!"

This time the look the general was giving him was more bemused than anything else. "Have we met, private? You look familiar."

Swallowing, Cloud managed to force the words around the knot in his chest. "The paint guns, sir." By now a crowd of curious troopers and SOLDIERs had gathered around them, and most of them looked thoroughly bewildered by this pronouncement. A few from B platoon knew the story of Zack and Cloud's final exam, and started spreading it around gleefully.

Once again Cloud was privileged to see Sephiroth's lips quirk in a faint smile. "Ah yes, of course. How remiss of me to forget. And where is your taller shadow? I do recall making certain you would be assigned to the same unit. Loyalty such as you showed each other should be encouraged."

Under other circumstances Cloud would have been stunned by the knowledge that Sephiroth himself had arranged for he and Zack to be assigned together. As it was, his words only served as a sharp reminder of why Cloud was out here in the first place, instead of back in the infirmary tent by his friend's side. "Zack!" he exclaimed, horrified to have been distracted even for a moment.

Rounding on the hapless medic again, he forgot to be worried about protocol in front of the general. "You! You said when the reinforcements got here they'd fix him! So go _help_ him!"

"They... they didn't bring any medics with them," the man stammered, backing up nervously. "We can't..."

"Then give me the materia and let me do it myself!" Cloud demanded furiously. His anger was actually a very thin veneer over the fear that made his heart pound in his chest. No medics? No extra help? He'd been hoping if he could manage to cast even a low-level Cure or Life spell, it would be enough to let Zack hang on until help got there, but there _was_ no help?

"Stand down, private." The words and the heavy hand on his shoulder reminded Cloud that he was threatening a superior officer right in front of General Sephiroth himself, but the general's tone wasn't rebuking. Glancing over his shoulder with wide eyes he saw that Sephiroth was frowning, but not at him. "There was no request for extra medics along with the request for reinforcements," the general said to the medic, and now there _was_ a rebuke in his voice.

"Sir!" Stiffly, the man drew himself up into a salute. "We assumed there would be more medics and supplies arriving with the additional units, sir, and that would have been enough to handle most of the casualties."

"Firstly, there is no acceptable reason for _any_ casualties to die other than those killed immediately on the field," Sephiroth said, his voice gone deep and menacing. Cloud shivered, and felt the hand on his shoulder tighten in what he thought might have been meant as a gesture of reassurance. "We have the resources and ability to heal almost anything that can be inflicted in a battle. If you lack sufficient resources, then you should have requested more, not assumed there would be enough sent to help 'most' people."

"Y-yes sir," the medic stammered, clearly fearing for his job.

"Secondly, SOLDIER units never have medics attached to them," Sephiroth went on, and Cloud's heart sank. So it was true, there was no help. "We carry our own healing materia and have more than enough power to use them. That does not mean, however, that it is acceptable for SOLDIERs to be expected to exhaust themselves before a battle healing other troopers."

Unable to stay silent, Cloud burst out, "But then... you're just going to let him _die_?" And all the others, who had been hurt badly enough to be shoved off to the side until later?

"Certainly not." Now the frown was directed at him, and Cloud had to fight not to cringe. Lifting his hand from the boy's shoulder, Sephiroth started pointing at various SOLDIERs Cloud didn't recognize and snapping orders. "Andrew. Secure the perimeter, set up guards and make sure any patrols out there now get pulled back in. I don't want anybody leaving the area of the camp or the town except on my say-so. Zeke, organize a patrol for around the town, they might become a target. Jeremy, I want a list of all the wounded, listed in order from most badly hurt to least. I don't want to miss anyone. Everyone else, equip your healing materia and get to work. Our foray after the enemy will have to be delayed until tomorrow."

Glancing down at Cloud, Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. "Well? Where is your friend?"

Almost giddy with relief, Cloud saluted and headed for the tent. "This way, sir! Thank you sir, thank you so much, I've been so worried and I did everything I could for him but I don't have any medical training and he's been so sick and it's all my fault..."

His breath and his leg gave out on him at the same moment, and he stumbled badly. Sephiroth caught him by the arm, steadying him until he could stand again. Glancing down, Cloud saw the bandage around his thigh was slowly seeping blood again. He must have broken the stitches at some point in all his running around today. He wasn't even supposed to be standing on it, except to get to and from the latrine.

"You're injured as well," Sephiroth noted coolly. Cloud gulped and nodded, catching his breath.

"Yes, sir. Zack carried me all the way back to camp, the stupid idiot didn't even _tell_ me he was wounded, I could have at least bound up the injuries so he wouldn't have lost so much blood! And then they got infected, and nobody would _help_ , and now he's having trouble just breathing..."

Horrified, he realized he was crying again. Crying and babbling in front of _Sephiroth_ , of all people. He'd never felt more like a kid playing at being a trooper than he did right then. Gulping back a sob, he scrubbed at his face frantically. "I'm sorry, sir. It's just... I've been so worried..."

"Your concern reflects well on you, private," Sephiroth said. Cloud heard the murmur of a spell, and once again felt that powerful energy rush over him. The persistent throbbing ache in his leg vanished, along with all the other smaller aches from his other partially-treated wounds. "There. Now that you can move more quickly, take me to him."

Grateful beyond anything mere words could express, Cloud nodded and rushed off to the tent. He led the general through the maze of cots that had been set up and sheets that had been hung to give a modicum of privacy, until they reached Zack's area at the back. "Zack!" he exclaimed, hurrying to his friend's side. "Zack, look, _Sephiroth_ is here, and he's going to help... Zack? Zack!"

The dark-haired boy had tossed his head fitfully in the grip of the fever, causing the cloth compress to slide down onto the pillow. His breathing was harsh and laboured, and he showed no sign of waking again at the sound of Cloud's voice.

"Allow me, private," Sephiroth said, stepping up. Cloud backed away to give him space, and watched in awe as the general stretched a hand out over Zack's still form. This time he could see the energy of the spell gathering, then flowing out from the bracer over the general's hand and down over Zack's body. He recognized the trigger words for the second level Life spell, and held his breath. If this didn't work, it would mean Zack was too far gone for magic to help him, and it would only be a matter of time.

 _Please,_ please _let it work,_ Cloud prayed silently, fisting his hands at the side so tightly his nails drew blood. _Please!_

For a horrible moment after the spell had faded, Cloud thought it had failed. Then Zack gasped and opened his eyes, staring up with a dazed expression on his face. "What the hell?" Catching sight of Sephiroth, his training overcame his confusion and he scrambled up to a sitting position, snapping a salute. "General Sephiroth, sir!"

"Once again I find myself unable to tell you 'as you were'," Sephiroth said, his mouth curving faintly again. "This is a bad habit to fall into, private. You should take more care."

"I'll do my best, sir," Zack said, dropping the salute. "Uh... may I ask what happened?" He glanced past the tall man, and saw Cloud hovering off to one side. "Cloud! Are you all right?"

"Stop worrying about _me_ and start worrying about yourself for once!" Cloud chided him, feeling so relieved he thought his heart might burst. He gave Zack a somewhat watery scowl. "You should have told me you were injured!"

"I didn't think the wounds were that bad," Zack admitted sheepishly. "And then by the time I realized they were, I didn't want to worry you. Uh, I guess I owe you a thank you, general?"

"Save it," the general waved him off. "You should have been tended to long before I got here. And I will be having words with your commanding officer about that. Now, since you are both healed, it would be useful if you would make yourselves available to help the rest of your units."

"Yes sir!" they chorused, saluting again. He nodded at them, and moved to go to the next injured trooper, leaving them alone in the marginal privacy of Zack's area.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again!" Cloud said fiercely, keeping his voice low but unable to keep all the fear of the last few days out of his tone.

"I'm sorry," Zack said, just as softly but equally fervently. "For all of it, I'm sorry. Look, let's just forget everything and start again, okay? I want things back the way they were as bad as you do. I've missed you, kid."

Cloud hesitated, but finally nodded. He thought there were issues between them now that they probably ought to deal with... but that would mean talking about it, and that still wasn't something he really wanted to do.

Zack surprised him by bouncing to his feet and capturing Cloud in a headlock before he could think to dodge; intellectually he knew the spell would have healed Zack completely, but experiencing it was another matter. He squirmed, protesting the vigorous ruffling Zack gave his hair, but secretly revelling in the familiar feeling. As long as things could go back to normal, nothing else mattered.


	9. Chapter 9

"You told off _Sephiroth_?" Stopping short in the middle of the camp, his arms full of bulky canvas, Zack stared at Cloud in shock and not a little awe. "Are you serious?"

"It's not like I knew it was him!" Cloud protested, hefting his own armful a little higher and glaring at their companion, another man from their platoon. "Anton, do you _have_ to spread this story around?"

"If he didn't hear it from me, he'd just have gotten it from someone else," the older man grinned at Cloud over his bundle of stakes and guy lines. "It's all over camp, kiddo."

"Never mind all that," Zack nearly lost his burden as he let go with one hand to wave off their words. "You _told off_ Sephiroth?"

"Zack! Will you drop it already? I'm just thanking Ramuh he didn't court-martial me on the spot," Cloud said, flushing. "Now, you two might not care about getting these tents up _before_ a bunch of tired and cranky SOLDIERs 1st Class come looking for them, but I do. Move!"

By unspoken agreement the troops healed by the SOLDIERs in Sephiroth's unit were, one by one, taking up the tasks and duties that would normally have fallen to the SOLDIERs. Such as setting up tents for them to sleep in, or sorting out the crates of supplies they'd had flown in with them. They were all well aware that the SOLDIERs didn't _have_ to spend their own energy healing everyone who should have been tended to long before they arrived, and it was their way of paying the men back a little.

Cloud, especially, was willing to do just about anything Sephiroth might have asked of him in return for Zack's life. If the general had ordered him to go out unarmed and play bait for the monsters, he'd have done it. Running around doing menial tasks and basic camp chores to spare the SOLDIERs the effort seemed trivial.

"So then what happened?" Zack asked Anton as they started moving again towards the area of the camp where the SOLDIERs' tents were being set up. "I can't believe I missed all this!"

"Zack," Cloud moaned, shaking his head. He knew it was pointless; as Anton had said, even if Cloud managed to stop the conversation now Zack would only hear it from someone else. And probably a more exaggerated version of it, too. Rumours always grew with each repetition.

"So then he turns on the medic again," Anton took up where he'd been interrupted, clearly relishing both the tale itself and Cloud's reaction to hearing it. Worse, Zack was hanging on his every word.

Doing his best to tune both of them out entirely, Cloud stopped at a cleared space and dumped his armful of canvas onto the loamy forest floor. Wrestling with the collapsible poles that were supposed to thread through loops sewn into the tent fabric, Cloud grunted. "Little help here, guys?" he asked, breaking into the recitation.

Sephiroth's unit had brought more of the same 'jungle tents' the units already in place were using. Smaller than the more traditional rectangular tents, they fit into the spaces between trees without needing to cut down any of the forest, and the canvas was painted in mottled green camouflage. The collapsible poles were also easier to transport than the wooden posts needed for the big tents. Only the infirmary, the mess, and the command tent - now Sephiroth's tent - were the more traditional style.

"Aren't these things supposed to be designed so one person can put them up by themselves?" Cloud grumbled as Zack set down his bundle and came to hold the tent so Cloud could thread the pole more easily.

"That's what the instruction manual says," Zack agreed in a tone that was just a little too cheerful. "Tent version 3.2; jungle camouflage. Fits up to four, can be raised by one man even in adverse conditions. Not for use as a flotation device."

Pausing, Cloud gave his friend an odd look. "Does it actually say that about not being a flotation device?" he asked, not having read the manual himself. In his moment of inattention the rod he'd been feeding through the slot came apart, and he swore and started pulling it back out again so he could reassemble it.

"This is the army, kid," Anton laughed at him. "We're all about the three Rs. Rules, Regulations, and Restrictions. The more specific they can be about the permissible use of any object, the happier they are."

"Personally, I think the people writing the manuals just get paid by the word," Zack snickered. He grabbed another of the poles and started fitting the sections of rod together into one long length.

"Here," Anton said, dumping his load of ropes and stakes on top of Zack's tent. "You two can handle these, I'm going back for more."

Waving him off, Zack grinned at Cloud's increasingly frustrated attempts to get his pole to stay in one piece. "So, you actually told off the general?"

"Oh, for..." Snatching up a stake, Cloud chucked it at Zack, who laughingly shielded his head with his arms. "You're like a dog with a bone, you know that? Yes, fine, I snapped at General Sephiroth. I was _worried_ about you, all right? I wasn't thinking, that's all."

Zack's smile turned soft. "I knew you were worth the effort of befriending, back in boot camp." He might have said more, but the pole he'd been working on chose that moment to fall apart in his hands. Blinking, he cursed at it and scrambled to collect the shorter rods again.

Turning red at the older boy's words, Cloud nevertheless had to laugh. "Whoever designed these should have worried a little less about making them collapsible and a little more about making them poles."

Between the two of them they managed to get the two tents set up, though Cloud lost track of the number of deities they called on or swore at in the process. Even so they were laughing as they moved back to see if there was anything else they could help with. Cloud was so relieved to have things back to normal between them, he would have happily put up with a great deal more teasing and smiled through all of it.

In the centre of the camp, though, they found a crowd of people waiting rather than a diminishing pile of equipment and boxes. It wasn't an orderly formation of ranks like Cloud would have expected to find gathering here, but literally a crowd.

At the front of the group was Sephiroth, another SOLDIER 1st Class, and the SOLDIER 3rd Class who had been acting as the camp's commanding officer before Sephiroth arrived. The latter looked thoroughly chastised, and Cloud had no doubt the man had been read the riot act by Sephiroth. He'd caught a few glimpses of the general as the man went about checking on the wounded, and every time Sephiroth had looked angrier.

The crowd was buzzing with rumours and speculation, but Sephiroth didn't need to ask for quiet. All he had to do was step forward, clearly intending to speak, and moments later there was absolute silence for his words to fall into.

"I want to thank you all for the efforts you have gone to here," the general started, his gaze sweeping over the crowd. Cloud and Zack had scrambled up onto a pile of crates to better be able to see over the crowd, and Cloud felt sure Sephiroth had focused on him for a moment. Or maybe that was just an illusion, because everyone around him looked like they were thinking the same thing.

"The danger in this area far exceeded anything predicted in your mission parameters," Sephiroth continued, his deep voice grave. "You have all shown remarkable valour and constitution in holding your position here, and continuing to make patrols despite the considerable threat. You do Shinra proud."

Cloud's heart beat faster in his chest, and a wave of pride washed over him. He caught Zack grinning at him from the corner of his eye, and turned to smile back at his friend.

"Tomorrow I will be taking my unit out in search of the terrorists and their horde of monsters," Sephiroth announced. "The rest of you will be set up in patrols around the camp and the town, in case the enemy takes advantage of our absence to attack. Once we have cleared out this nest of creatures and the men behind them, you will be sent back to base at Midgar."

There was a cheer from the units who had already been out in the jungle for more than a week, and Cloud's voice was part of it. He looked forward to getting back to the familiar routines of Midgar. Not to mention an absence of things that might end up killing him or Zack, or both.

"In the meantime, sleep well and recover your strength," the general concluded. "Those of you who have just been healed may be feeling energized, but I assure you that your body will welcome the rest regardless. Night patrol, report to Lieutenant Andrew. Everyone else, dismissed."

The crowd of people broke up in chattering groups as everyone dispersed either to their tents to sleep, or to the mess tent to socialize for another hour or two. "He's really different, isn't he?" Zack said thoughtfully, staring after the general as the man turned and gestured for the two SOLDIERs with him to join him in the command tent.

"Are you kidding me?" Cloud asked him incredulously. "Zack, he's _Sephiroth_. Of course he's different! He's the best SOLDIER ever!"

"That's not what I mean," Zack shook his head, glancing at Cloud. "He's different from the rest of the officers. He's not just a commanding officer, he's a commander and a leader. You know? I always wondered how a teenager could have won the war in Wutai, but now I understand."

"Yeah, I know," Cloud agreed softly, then stifled a yawn. Sephiroth's spell had healed him, but he had spent three days with very little sleep while he watched and worried over Zack. He was completely exhausted. "You can go socialize if you want, but I'm turning in. I'm totally beat."

"Nah, I'm for sleep," Zack said, turning towards the area where their platoon's tents were clustered. "He's right about us needing the rest, even if we don't feel like it."

As they walked back to their tents, Cloud felt a sharp pang in his chest. Zack had been in the middle of avoiding him when they'd chosen their tentmates, so of course they were in different tents. Not that it really mattered, they were only going to be _sleeping_ , after all. But at the moment Cloud still kind of felt like he needed to keep Zack in sight, or Sephiroth showing up and the older boy's miraculous recovery would turn out to have been a dream after all.

Chiding himself for acting like a scared little kid, Cloud steeled himself as they reached his tent. "I guess I'll see you in the morning, then," he said, proud that his voice was both steady and casual.

Snorting, Zack shoved by him through the tent flap. "You'll see me a hell of a lot sooner than that. Dumbass."

"Huh?" Startled, Cloud scrambled in after him. The dome-shaped tents weren't tall enough for them to be able to stand up inside them, and there was hardly room to step anywhere inside. 'Fits four' was an overly generous estimate, in the opinion of anyone who'd ever had to share one with three other people, but they were crammed in four to a tent regardless.

Scanning the neatly laid out sleeping bags and duffle bags, Zack found the ones labelled with Cloud's name. "Zack, what are you _doing_?" Cloud asked, bewildered, as Zack scooped up his bedroll.

"Moving you, obviously," Zack replied with his most irrepressible grin. "Don't just stand there, grab your gear."

Knowing better than to argue with Zack when the older boy was in a mood like this, Cloud just shook his head and grabbed his duffle. "You can't seriously be proposing to squeeze me into your tent," he said as he followed Zack back out into the warm night air. "Someone will be smothered. There isn't even enough room for four people in these things, let alone five!"

"Of course not," Zack shook his head. "You have no faith in me, honestly."

Nobody but Cloud batted an eye as Zack proceeded to shamelessly badger one of his tentmates into switching places with Cloud. If anything, the members of B platoon who were present seemed relieved, which both confused and embarrassed Cloud. Of course he'd realized that everyone had to be aware that the unit's two youngest members were on the outs, but he hadn't realized it had been affecting anyone else that much.

Settling into his bedroll, the top half thrown back because of the heat, Cloud listened to the familiar sounds of Zack shifting around next to him and smiled. He'd gotten used to hearing Zack above him, and he hadn't realized he'd missed that familiar presence nearby just as much during the night as during the day.

"Sleep well, Zack," Cloud whispered, turning on his side so he could look at his friend. He wasn't all that surprised to find Zack looking back at him, smiling as well.

"Sweet dreams, kid," the older boy said, reaching out to ruffle Cloud's spiky bangs once before they both composed themselves for sleep.

Despite his exhaustion, Cloud hadn't been sure if he would be able to sleep. The urge to keep his eye on Zack so his friend couldn't turn out to be an apparition was strong, but not enough to overcome his body's needs in the end.

He was therefore sound asleep when the shouting began, and the first alarms sounded. It was Zack shaking him roughly by the shoulder that woke him, and he dragged himself out of sleep reluctantly. "Wha..."

"Something's wrong," Zack said, his voice rough with sleep as well but his eyes glittering darkly in the dim light of the tent. Their two tentmates were slowly waking as well, and then all four of them were suddenly wide awake as the main alarm bell started clanging.

"They're attacking the _camp_?" One of the other men blurted out as they all scrambled for clothes, armour and weapons. "They're going to take on two full companies and two units of SOLDIER, all at once?"

"Two units of SOLDIER who spent the afternoon exhausting themselves healing the rest of us," Zack countered grimly, slinging his extra ammo over his shoulder. Cloud was still struggling with his shoulder plates, so the older boy quickly helped him with the buckles. "We haven't been asleep more than an hour, which means everyone is still tired, wound up from today, and the 1st Class unit probably doesn't have much power left for spells. This is the best chance they'll ever have."

"You're saying there's a spy?" Cloud exclaimed. When Zack just gave him an odd look, he shrugged. "How else could they have known that now would be a good time to strike?"

"Yeah, maybe," Zack agreed, picking up his rifle and handing Cloud's over as well. "We can worry about that later, though. Right now, we need to..."

Whatever he'd been about to say was cut off as something large and snarling slammed into the side of their tent, ripping the guy lines and stakes out of the ground on that side. The impact snapped the collapsible poles like they were tinder, and the whole thing came crashing down on top of them.

Yelling, Cloud thrashed beneath the weight of monster and canvas. He felt something draped over his upper legs and hips, and it took him a moment to realize Zack had fallen half across him. Razor sharp claws slashed through the canvas and tore into the earth beneath as the monster struggled to get free of the entangling tent, and Cloud tried not to hyperventilate as the claws flashed far too close to his face.

"Shit, shit, shit!" he heard Zack cursing, as they both fought the weight crushing them. Finally the beast found its feet, and they were able to move freely again.

Getting free of the draping canvas of the tent was more difficult than Cloud would have thought it would be, but when they finally burst free they found themselves in the midst of sheer chaos. Soldiers and SOLDIERs were running everywhere, any thoughts of a formation lost in the first moments of the attack. There were more monsters than Cloud ever wanted to see in one place again, and the noise level was overwhelming.

"Cloud!" Zack shouted, and from the corner of his eye Cloud saw the older boy level his rifle at him. Instinctively he ducked, and Zack's shot tore over him to slam into the wolf that had been creeping up behind him. From his crouched position Cloud opened fire on the dragon still shaking free of the last ropes from their tent.

From somewhere near the centre of the camp there was a sudden crack of lightning, followed a fraction of a second later by a deafening clap of thunder. "Looks like somebody's still got energy left," Zack shouted, flashing a quick grin down at Cloud. "My money's on Sephiroth!"

"I'm not stupid enough to take that bet!" Cloud called back, wincing as the lightning struck again. That had to be at least a Bolt 2 spell, if not Bolt 3. He'd never seen one from this close before.

He didn't have time to really appreciate it, though. The dragon had freed itself and turned on them, its wings lifting menacingly as it thrust its head forward and hissed at them. Remembering the way the swordsman had burned to death, and the way he'd killed that dragon, Cloud fired at the beast's head.

This time he didn't manage the lucky shot. His first bullet glanced off the dragon's tough horn, and the second went wide. "Zack! The dragon, shoot its mouth!" he called, spinning on his heel and aiming for the wolf instead. Zack was a much better shot than he was, and was more likely to be able to shoot the dragon before it finished gathering breath to flame them.

Zack whipped around so he was facing the other way, and Cloud heard his rifle fire. He didn't have time to worry about whether or not the shot went true - if it hadn't, he'd know in a few seconds. If it had, then he needed to make sure they weren't saved from the dragon only to be eaten by the wolf.

The wolf went down, but there was one of those animated plants behind it. Cloud scrambled to his feet again, and put his back against Zack's solid body. They both fired again and again, twisting to follow each other any time one of them was forced to dodge or turn to aim. If one of them ran out of ammo, they fell to a crouch while the other stood guard over them to reload.

Cloud wasn't sure what had happened to their two tentmates, let alone the rest of the two companies. All he could focus on was one monster after another, his arms shaking with exhaustion and fear but his aim as steady as it had ever been.

Finally the inevitable happened, and Cloud cursed as he pulled the trigger and nothing happened. "Zack! I'm jammed!" he called, working at the bolt to try to force the chamber clear.

"Shit, and I'm almost out of ammo," Zack swore, swinging around to shoot the plant-creature Cloud had been aiming at. "We need to find cover!"

Glancing around, his fingers still struggling with the bolt, Cloud spotted one of the stacks of supply crates. "Over there!" he said, gesturing. Zack glanced over, and nodded.

"On three, we'll make a break for it," the older boy declared. "Ready? One... two... three!"

They ran for all they were worth, Cloud dogging Zack's heels. Neither of them looked back, though Cloud was achingly certain there had to be something snapping just inches away from him. Zack vaulted over the first of the boxes, Cloud right behind him, and they got a moment to breathe.

The weren't the only ones who had thought of taking shelter here. Half a dozen men had rearranged the crates into a fortress with a small space in the middle, and that was where Cloud and Zack came to rest. Two of the men had set aside swords that were useless for the moment, and were reloading spare guns for the riflemen.

"What's the situation?" Zack asked as he took up a position in the defensive circle. Cloud dropped his jammed rifle and grabbed one of the spares, trying not to think about the fact that they must have been salvaged from dead troopers.

"They got past the sentries on the west side somehow," the oldest of the men, a sergeant, replied. His voice was calm and steady, his aim solid, but Cloud could see tension in his bulky shoulders. "From the looks of it the SOLDIERs are grouping in the centre and trying to fight their way out to whoever is controlling the monsters. Some of my men tried to get up there to join them, but..."

Zack nodded, moving over to make room for Cloud. The sergeant didn't need to say anything else. The ground between their position and the centre was a morass of bodies, human and beast alike. Many of them weren't moving, but there were plenty of live threats between here and there.

"We're almost out of ammo," one of the swordsmen called in a high, thin voice as Cloud took aim and fired on another wolf. "We're not going to last long after it's gone!"

"Is there no end to these bloody bastards?" the sergeant snarled, shooting a dragon as it reared up over a running trooper a dozen feet away. No, not a trooper, Cloud saw as the man went down before the dragon's fiery breath just moments before the sergeant killed it. A SOLDIER, his massive buster sword falling from his hand as he collapsed.

Cold fear clenched at Cloud's heart. Trapped, cut off from reinforcements, with their ammo running out... they were as good as dead, unless one of them came up with something brilliant. Distracted, he shifted his rifle too far out to the side of his shoulder, and the recoil of his next shot sent his arm slamming back hard.

Biting back a cry of pain as his elbow impacted with one of the crates, Cloud gingerly raised the rifle to his shoulder again. He paused, glancing back at the crate thoughtfully. "Hey, what's in the crates?"

For a moment, everyone in the little fortress just stared at him blankly. "Shiva's tits," one of the men swore, and there was a scramble for the crates. Three of the riflemen kept guard while the rest of them pried open any crate that wasn't integral to the defensive wall they'd built.

"Potions and ethers, looks like," one of the swordmen reported.

"I think these are hi-potions, but I've never seen one before," Zack said, crouched over another crate. The sergeant, who was one of those still standing guard, glanced over his shoulder.

"Yeah, they are," he confirmed. "But if these things get close enough for us to be damaged enough to need them, it's going to be too late to use them. We need something offensive. See if you can find any grenades or bolt plumes or something."

"Here!" the other swordsman called, holding up a fistful of grey spheres. "Grenades!" He started passing them around, and Cloud snatched up an armful gratefully. They didn't have the range of the rifles, but they also did a hell of a lot more damage and could hit more than one enemy at once. Aim didn't matter nearly as much, especially considering how thick the trees were around them.

They started throwing the grenades, and the explosions were almost loud enough to drown out the lightning still sporadically striking the camp. The bolts were coming down further away now, indicating that the SOLDIERs were making progress towards the far side of the fray.

"It's not going to be enough," Zack muttered, eyes narrowed as he tossed a grenade at a dragon and followed it up with a quick burst shot to the head. "Damn it, I think some of these things are resistant to physical attacks. The armour, or something. We need magic."

"If there's anything in here that casts magic, it's in the walls," Cloud said despairingly. "We don't dare take them apart to find out, the monsters will rush us through the breach."

"Yeah, I know, but... maybe we don't need items to cast spells," Zack replied, his eyes fixed on one of the dragon corpses.

No, Cloud realized, not on the dragon. On the SOLDIER that had fallen beneath the dragon, and his sword lying in the mud. The buster sword had the standard two materia slots, and Cloud could see the gentle green glow from whatever magic materia the SOLDIER had equipped.

"Zack, _no_ ," Cloud protested, but he was too late.

"Cover me!" Zack yelled over his shoulder as he dropped his rifle and vaulted back over the wall, hitting the ground running. Frantically Cloud pulled the pin on two grenades at once and tossed them to Zack's left, where one of the carnivorous plants was rushing to meet him.

He managed to damage the plant badly enough to slow it, and then Zack had reached the dead SOLDIER. Snatching the sword up from the ground, the dark-haired boy swung it in an awkward arc, chopping through the plant's head. It collapsed, and Zack staggered back towards the fort with the sword dragging behind him.

"Holy Alexander, this thing is heavy," he gasped as he tumbled back over the crates into the safe space in the middle. "Here, catch!" he added as he pried one of the materia loose and tossed it to Cloud.

All of them wore bracers with two linked slots and two unlinked, standard issue Shinra armour, but Cloud had never actually equipped a materia before. He didn't even know what sort of magic the materia he was holding _did_... but then again, he wasn't sure it really mattered. Whatever it was, it would be better than nothing. Taking a deep breath, he shoved the materia into a slot.

Thin tendrils of energy wound through the bracer and into him, and somehow he understood that he was holding a fire materia. A strong one; it was mastered, or close to it. He couldn't hope to use the third level spell, but he thought he might be able to cast the second level. Once.

Well, once was better than not at all. Turning, he focused on the materia and his target, a cloud of the same bats that had nearly killed Zack. Concentrating hard, he willed power into the trigger words as he spoke them. Green energy flared all around him as the materia responded, and a column of flame engulfed the bats.

He'd forgotten that magic materia only worked on one enemy at a time unless it was paired with other support materia, though. He killed one of the bats, but the rest of the swarm was fine and now he was out of energy. "Hades take it," he swore, glancing over to see Zack expending a Bolt 2 spell to better effect against one of the dragons. "Now what?"

Zack was reeling, one hand against a crate to steady himself. Cloud doubted he'd be able to cast again any more than Cloud could, but Zack was grinning at him like he'd just won a prize. "Now we put those ethers to good use," he said, and gestured at one of the swordsmen.

Understanding flared in Cloud's eyes, and he caught the ether that was tossed to him. Downing it, he felt unnatural energy pouring through him. It was easy to channel it through the materia again, and this time he focused on the bigger enemies and left the bat clouds to the grenades.

They still had a limited amount of ethers and only two materia, but between that, the rifles and the grenades, it was enough. At some point as the first false hints of dawn lit the eastern sky above the trees, Cloud looked around for another target and couldn't find one.

Blinking in surprise, he scanned the area again, swaying on his feet with exhaustion despite the artificial energy of the ether he'd just downed. There were monster carcasses everywhere, and some of them were still twitching, but there was nothing that seemed to be an immediate threat.

After a moment when nothing further attacked them, one of the riflemen whooped with glee. The rest of the group took up the cheer quickly, slapping each other on the backs and shouting themselves hoarse with the giddy relief of victory. All around the camp Cloud could hear other similar cheers starting, as other defended pockets of troopers realized there was nothing more to fight.

"Shit, that was insane," Zack said, his eyes wide and almost feverish with the energy of the ether. He grabbed Cloud around the shoulders with one arm, ruffling the younger boy's hair vigorously with his other hand. Cloud struggled, but not as hard as he might have. He was too relieved to have come through the night alive, and with Zack still at his side.

"We need to regroup, in the centre with the others," the sergeant proclaimed wearily. "General Sephiroth will be gathering everyone there for a debriefing. Check bodies as you go, see if any of our people are still alive, and kill anything else that's still moving."

"I think I'll just hang onto this, and a few of these," Zack said, gesturing with his bracer and scooping up the few last ethers. He handed a few to Cloud without being asked, and Cloud tucked them into his belt. He felt a lot better having them.

"Think they'll let us keep the materia?" he asked with a weary smile as they climbed over the crates. "Not that they'll do us much good without the ethers to back us up."

"I'm claiming mine as a bloody souvenir, if nothing else," Zack declared with an equally weary grin. "We've earned it."


	10. Chapter 10

It was a considerably diminished company of troops that gathered in the centre of the camp as the sun began to set once more. The vast majority of those still alive had been wounded; not everyone had been lucky enough to find a shelter with crates of supplies available. Far, far too many numbered among the dead, and the living had spent most of the day sorting friend from foe and either burying or burning the bodies.

Even so, the general air among the group was one of muted triumph. The relief of having survived the attack, combined with exhaustion and stress, left them all a little giddy. Cloud stood at Zack's side, looking around and feeling a bit like reality hadn't set in yet. He'd helped bury people he knew today, people he'd worked and trained beside for weeks. It was strange to look around and not see those faces around him now. It made him stick to Zack like a burr, for fear that he would turn around and discover the older boy gone as well.

At least Zack seemed to feel the same way, frequently glancing at Cloud throughout the day as if to reassure himself that his blonde shadow was still there. He was looking now, in fact, and he offered a weary smile when he saw Cloud looking back.

Before Cloud could say anything the flap of the hastily re-erected command tent was pushed open, and Sephiroth emerged. He strode to the front of the assembled troops, his second in command trailing along a step behind him.

Enviously Cloud noted that although pretty much everyone else in the camp looked like they'd gone through hell, the general looked like he'd just stepped off a recruiting poster. There was no blood or gore, ashes or dirt, on his skin or hair or clothes. "Bet nothing got close enough to dirty him before he killed it," Zack whispered.

"Stop thinking I'm stupid enough to take bets like that," Cloud retorted just as softly, flashing his friend a brief grin. Zack snickered, and then Sephiroth raised a hand for silence and they both returned their attention to the front.

"As most of you are aware," Sephiroth started, his voice low and calm but still somehow carrying to every trooper present, "I and most of the remaining SOLDIERs went out today after the fleeing terrorists while the rest of you set things in order here." Cloud was close enough to the front that he could see Sephiroth's face tighten as if in anger, though he wasn't sure why. Anger at the deaths and destruction among his command, perhaps?

"Once Shinra receives my report about the results of our foray," the general continued in a level tone, "I have no doubt the information will be highly classified and compartmentalized. However, I feel you have the right to know what it was you were all fighting - and dying - for here." Again that brief flash of anger, and Cloud wondered.

"I'm sure I don't need to warn any of you of the consequences for spreading such information," Sephiroth added. "If any of this becomes common knowledge, I will be personally meting out discipline for those involved."

He paused, and every man in the crowd was so rapt on his words that there wasn't so much as a cough to break the silence. They all wanted to know what was behind the sudden influx of monsters in the area, and not one of them was stupid enough to wish to incur the general's wrath. Satisfied, Sephiroth nodded once.

"The leader of the terrorists is in fact a former Shinra employee, one of Professor Hojo's assistants. As some of you may know, the good professor," there was a certain amount of sarcasm to the general's words there that surprised Cloud, "has been investigating the monsters that have begun appearing around Midgar and in some other areas of the world. This man, Dr. Lins, has apparently taken it upon himself to begin breeding the monsters and studying their potential use in battle."

Sweeping his gaze over the crowd, Sephiroth looked grim. "We have captured most of the terrorists and destroyed the monsters and breeding pens, but Dr. Lins himself fled the area some days ago. He is still at large, but with the destruction of the monsters your mission here is over. The ship will arrive to transport you back to Midgar tomorrow."

There was a ragged cheer at that, as the relieved and exhausted troopers absorbed the welcome knowledge that they would be going home at last. Stepping aside, Sephiroth gestured to a wall of casks that had been piled to one side of the clearing. "In the meantime," the general said, "the mayor of Mideel has been kind enough to send over a sample of the rum the town is known for, as a token of their appreciation for ridding the area of the monster threat."

Another cheer came, more heartfelt this time, and Sephiroth nodded. "I want the camp struck and everyone at the docks ready to go by oh-eight-thirty tomorrow. Dismissed!"

He turned and headed back towards the command tent, though his 2IC stayed behind to organize the distribution of the rum. "Sweet!" Zack exclaimed. "C'mon Cloud, let's go get our share before these greedy bastards drink all of it."

"But..." Cloud protested, frowning and digging his heels in when Zack grabbed his arm to drag him along. Glancing back at him, Zack raised an eyebrow, and Cloud shook his head. "It doesn't seem right," he said dubiously, looking around at the milling and laughing crowd of troops. "People _died_ today, Zack! Anton, Jeffery, Seren... we must have buried half a dozen men we knew. How can they get drunk and _celebrate_? Shouldn't we be, I don't know, mourning them?"

"The best way we can remember the fallen is to celebrate the lives they died to help protect," Zack said, for once being serious in response to Cloud's very real distress. "We lived, Cloud. We all made it through this alive, and that _is_ something to celebrate." He shrugged, and grinned. "Besides, we all need to blow off some steam before it blows up in our faces. Drunken revelry is the traditional and accepted method for victorious troops to keep from self-destructing. Better than raping and pillaging, anyway."

Glancing around, Cloud noticed an edge to the laughter, a sense of desperation behind everyone's movements. "Stress relief," he realized, nodding. He could understand that. He certainly felt wound tighter than a clockwork watch.

"And a reaffirmation that we _are_ still alive, by embracing the best parts of life," Zack agreed, clapping him on the shoulder. "Now come on, we've more than earned our share."

This time Cloud didn't resist, though he still felt a bit like he was being disrespectful to the people who had died. On the other hand, Zack was right about the need for stress relief, and Ramuh knew Cloud would appreciate focusing on something other than last night's disaster for a while.

There was more than enough rum to get all the remaining troops well and truly hammered, and by the time a few hours had gone by Cloud wasn't worrying about the fallen any more. He was too busy scowling at his cards and trying to figure out why he had managed to end up with a useless hand _again_.

"You guys cheat," he finally said as he tossed his last card down in disgust and watched the winner rake in the pot. "Especially you," he added, pointing a slightly wobbly finger at Zack, who had the biggest pile of gil in front of him.

"Nah, you just have the world's worst luck at cards, kid," Zack snickered, downing half a mug of rum before picking up his deck to shuffle it. "Not to mention the fact that you're at least two sheets to the wind. You realize you totally could have won that last round if you'd played your cards differently, right?"

"I could have?" Surveying the layout of the cards, Cloud swore as he realized Zack was right. He'd made a couple of stupidly basic mistakes that had cost him the round and lost him one of his best remaining cards. "Aw, Hades take it. All right, deal me out. I can't afford to keep playing like this."

A chorus of protests sounded, but someone else stepped up to take Cloud's place willingly enough when he moved aside. Taking stock of himself and the way he was swaying on his feet, Cloud decided he'd probably had enough for the night. He finished the mug he was holding, feeling the burn of the rum as it went down his throat, but didn't go back for another.

"I'm done for," he declared, stifling a yawn. "The rest of you may be planning to stay up all night, but I'm hitting the sack."

"Past your bedtime, kid?" one of the other men jeered, and Cloud snorted.

"No, I'm just smart enough not to want to have a hang-over while I'm stuck on the ship tomorrow morning," he retorted. He wasn't looking forward to the return voyage any more than he had to the journey to Mideel, and being nauseous thanks to drinking too much was the last thing he needed. "I'll see you in the morning, Zack."

"Hey wait," the older boy protested, looking up at him from his seat on the ground. "Give me two minutes to finish this round, and I'll come with you."

"Aw, you gonna tuck him in, Zack?" the same man laughed and smirked at them, and Zack chucked his empty mug at him.

"Keep your dirty mind to yourself, Trevor," Zack snapped, though there was a hint of a flush on his cheeks that might not have been entirely from the alcohol. Telling himself he was imagining things, Cloud shook his head and leaned back against a tree to wait out the round.

Zack won, of course. The man had the devil's own luck, in cards as in everything else. Gathering up his winnings, he stood and made his way a bit unsteadily to Cloud's side. "All right, let's go," he said, grinning as he stuffed his cards and gil into his pockets.

"I still think you cheat," Cloud said mildly as they wandered through the trees towards the area where the tents had been set up again. There were considerably fewer tents now than there had been before, since many had been destroyed or badly damaged by the monsters, but there were also fewer people to need them. "You didn't have to come with me, you know," he added, just a touch sourly. "I don't need to be tucked in."

It was hard to tell in the flickering of the fires dotted around the camp, but he thought Zack's flush increased slightly. "Of course you don't," the older boy said, shaking his head and slinging an arm over Cloud's shoulders. Cloud wasn't sure if it was supposed to be a reassuring gesture, or if his friend just needed the support to help him walk. He'd drunk a fair bit more than Cloud had.

For a moment he said nothing more, and Cloud thought that was all he had to say on the subject. Then he spoke again, startling Cloud. "I just keep thinking about what might have happened if I hadn't convinced you to move into my tent," Zack said, his voice more sober than Cloud would have expected. "We'd probably never have found each other in the chaos if we hadn't already been together. I know the general said there weren't any more monsters, but I guess I'm a little paranoid right now."

What he didn't need to say was that if they'd each been on their own instead of fighting back to back, chances were good one or both of them might be dead now. Swallowing, Cloud nodded. "Yeah," he agreed, his voice a little husky. "Well, better to stick together and not have needed to, than to split up and regret it later, right?"

"Yeah, exactly," Zack agreed, with a smile so brilliant it made Cloud's chest ache a little. "Besides, this is where we're supposed to be, remember? Side by side. Where you go, I go. Always."

The ache became a warmth that had nothing to do with the fires or the alcohol, and Cloud ducked his head so his blush wouldn't be so painfully obvious. They'd reached their new tent, and undoing the ties at the flap gave him a good excuse to concentrate on his hands rather than on Zack.

"Looks like we've still got it to ourselves for now," he noted as he opened the flap and found nobody inside. They still had two tentmates, a couple of men from the sword company that neither of them knew well. Cloud thought he remembered seeing them at another fire, deeply engrossed in a game of dice, but he wasn't sure.

"They probably won't be back any time soon," Zack agreed, following him inside and fastening the flap again. "Most people will be up until dawn, and then spend all day tomorrow bitching about it. We're the smart ones."

"We're also going to get teased for days about our 'bedtimes'," Cloud pointed out wryly, stripping out of his uniform. He wished they could leave the flaps open to let in the night breeze, but the bugs would eat them alive if they did. He settled for stripping down to his boxers and flopping down on top of his sleeping bag, rather than crawling into it. "Ugh, it's as hot as Ifrit's flame in here."

He'd expected some kind of smart remark from Zack, like about how at least Zack's bedtime wouldn't be as early as Cloud's, but there was nothing. Surprised, he glanced over to see Zack sitting on his sleeping bag in his boxers, holding his shirt in his hands and staring at Cloud with a dazed look on his face. "Zack?" Cloud prompted him curiously.

Zack blinked and shook his head like a man coming out of a dream, and laughed. "Sorry, I guess I'm spacing out. I dunno, I like the heat here. I could do without all the humidity, though. Gongaga's tropical, but it's not a rainforest like this."

"It's too wet _and_ too hot for me," Cloud replied, wriggling on the bedroll to get comfortable. The outer nylon shell was cooler than the fabric inside, but it was also uncomfortably slippery. Sighing, he gave up and crawled inside the bag, keeping it open to his waist.

"Aw, you mountain-bred types are just wimps, that's all," Zack said, reaching out and flicking the sweat off Cloud's forehead. He wasn't sweating at all, and seemed perfectly comfortable in the heat.

"Oh yeah?" Cloud eyed him. "I'd like to hear you say that after you spend a winter in the mountains. We'll see who's whining about the temperature then." The heavy air in the tent suddenly seemed harder to breathe than before; Zack hadn't moved his hand away, resting his fingertips on Cloud's cheek and tracing idle patterns. Was it his imagination, or had Zack shifted closer?

"I bet you'd be real cute, all bundled up in your snow gear," Zack teased him, his eyes bright with the alcohol and something else. "I like you better like this, though." His hand trailed down Cloud's cheek to his throat and chest, and Cloud's breath caught in his lungs. He couldn't breathe, couldn't speak or move, couldn't do anything but stare helplessly into Zack's eyes and wonder if this was really happening.

"Shit," Zack suddenly exclaimed, and snatched his hand away as though it had been burned. Rolling over onto his back, he threw one arm over his eyes and groaned. "Damn it, I shouldn't be allowed near you when I'm drunk. Maybe I should have let you come to bed by yourself after all."

"Why?" Cloud's voice was deeper than usual, and he was grateful it didn't crack despite how husky it was. "Are you going to kiss me again?"

"What?" Zack lowered his arm, and his expression was dismayed. "Aw, fuck, I thought you didn't remember that. I'm sorry."

Blinking, Cloud stared at him for a moment, and finally realized Zack didn't remember the conversation they'd had in the infirmary. Well, of course he didn't; he'd been delirious and dying at the time. He probably didn't remember anything between collapsing and Sephiroth reviving him.

Which meant the older boy also didn't remember Cloud telling him he hadn't minded the kiss. That gave Cloud a perfect out if he wanted to take it and not risk Zack realizing his friend might not be as straight as he'd like to be... but then again, Zack wasn't exactly acting like he would be disgusted by that sort of revelation.

"So are you going to kiss me again?" Cloud repeated, his heart pounding in his chest.

"No," Zack shook his head quickly. "No, you don't have to worry about that. I never should have done it the first time, but I... hell, I'm too drunk to have this conversation right now," he groaned, and shoved himself up to a sitting position. "I, uh... I'm gonna go take a walk, see if the fresh air..."

"Oh," Cloud said. Maybe he should have been disappointed - well, no, he _shouldn't_ have been disappointed, because he shouldn't have wanted the kiss in the first place. But it didn't seem like Zack didn't want to do it, rather that the older boy was afraid _he_ would disgust _Cloud_.

Come to think of it, hadn't Zack said something about avoiding him because he thought Cloud was disgusted with him?

Throwing caution to the wind and grateful for the alcohol that was quieting the little voice of worry that often seemed to nag in the back of his head, Cloud sat up as well and stopped Zack with a hand on his chest. "Zack?"

"Uh..." Zack looked a little stunned, like having Cloud touch his bare skin was something shocking. "Yeah?"

"You think too much," Cloud informed him, and leaned in to fasten his lips to Zack's.

It was just as awkward and clumsy as their first kiss, and Zack seemed startled into immobility now just as Cloud had been then. After a few moments Cloud started to seriously worry that he'd misread Zack, and fear clenched at his heart. When he pulled back to apologize, though, Zack suddenly came to life and followed him to recapture his lips with a moan.

This time they were both participating, and for all their uncertainty and sloppiness it was worlds better than anything Cloud had ever imagined. Having Zack's mouth moving hot and wet over his made things coil tight low in his body, and he shivered when Zack's tongue flicked over his lips.

Opening his mouth Cloud allowed the older boy's tongue entrance, and then they both moaned as their tongues rubbed together. Pulling back, Zack stared down into his eyes, and Cloud realized at some point the older boy had taken him by the shoulders.

"Cloud, you... are you sure about this?" Zack asked, his voice rough in a way that made Cloud's cock twitch. "You don't have to..."

"Zack!" Exasperated, Cloud cut him off with a half-serious glare. "Will you shut up and kiss me already?" He didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to think about it. He just wanted to lose himself in the incredible feel and taste of Zack against him. It felt oddly right, like he'd found a piece of himself he hadn't known was missing. And damn it, he was embarrassed just for _thinking_ something like that, he sure as Shiva wasn't going to say it out loud.

Lips twitching with a barely-contained smile, his eyes full of wonder and happiness, Zack lifted one hand to salute. "Yes, sir." He moved to cover Cloud's mouth with his again, and stopped trying to fight against what they both wanted.

Apparently having decided that yes, Cloud really was okay with this, Zack seemed to be giving it his all. He was also, Cloud was discovering, rather a _good_ kisser when he put his mind to it. He licked and nibbled at Cloud's mouth and lips, finding places to stroke his tongue against or sink his teeth into that set Cloud's body on fire. Cloud did his best to imitate the actions, seeking out the same kind of sensitive spots for Zack, and he thought he succeeded to some degree.

Certainly Zack didn't seem to be complaining. He pushed gently on Cloud's shoulders and eased them both backwards, until Cloud was lying on his bedroll with Zack half over him. Clutching at Zack's broad shoulders to help anchor himself, Cloud abandoned himself to the kiss.

Whatever other experience Zack might have, his hand was hesitant as he trailed it over Cloud's chest, exploring the muscles that had started developing there with all the hard training they'd been doing. Cloud gasped as Zack's finger flicked over his nipple, and the older boy groaned.

"You make the most amazing noises," he whispered, drawing back to lick at the shell of Cloud's ear. The unexpected sensation sent a shocking wave of heat through Cloud, and he arched up into the touch. "You have no fucking idea how hard it was to lie there and listen to you jerking off at night, and not do anything to give myself away. Hell, I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did before I lost it. I was hoping you wouldn't hear me over the noises you made."

"I stopped for a minute because I didn't want to come too fast," Cloud confessed, panting as Zack's hand got a little bolder. Not wanting to take everything and give nothing back, he ran both his hands over Zack's smooth, toned chest. "I was... I was thinking of you that day, you know. I got so hard during that damn wrestling match, and then I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was freaking out that I was thinking about a guy, but I couldn't help myself."

"Fuck, Cloud," Zack shuddered over him and caught his mouth again in a quick, fierce kiss. "You still freaking out?"

"N-no," Cloud stammered, dazed from the force of the kiss. "Well, a little. Everyone always said this kind of thing was wrong, but it feels..." Right, _so_ right, so very right that he couldn't hope to put it into words. Certainly not without sounding like some kind of weepy sap. "Good. It can't be bad if it's this good, can it?"

Laughing, Zack pinched his nipple and made him squirm. "I think that might be circular logic, but whatever. I'm not arguing. Not when you're giving me everything I've been wanting for the last month and then some."

With a firmer touch, Zack stroked his hand from Cloud's shoulder right down to his hip, his strong hand lingering over the waistband of his shorts. "So you were thinking about me, huh?" he murmured, nibbling at Cloud's ear again. "I wondered why you were hesitating to tap out that day. I thought you were just being stubborn about admitting defeat." There was a smug sort of amusement in his voice. "Enjoying having me pin you down, were you?"

"Zack," Cloud groaned, blushing horribly. It was true, that was the worst part. He couldn't hope to deny it. Even so, he wasn't expecting it when Zack shifted over him, catching his arms and shoulders and putting him into one of the grappling pins they'd learned that day. "Unh! Zack!"

If he'd thought this position was hot when Zack was only half dressed, that was nothing compared to the way it made Cloud burn when they were both the next thing to naked. Zack's strong body slid against his, muscle to muscle, firm and unyielding. When Zack rocked his hips against him, Cloud realized he wasn't the only one achingly hard.

"You do like this, don't you?" Zack all but purred, nuzzling at Cloud's throat. "You realize I'm never going to be able to partner you in hand-to-hand drills again? I'd spend the whole session imagining this and fighting the temptation to kiss you every time I had you pinned."

"You're shameless," Cloud accused him breathlessly, and Zack laughed. "You realize our tentmates could come in here any moment, right?" he asked as Zack rocked against him again.

"Yeah, so?" Zack's eyes glittered in the dim light of the tent, his hands shifting so his fingers could caress Cloud's skin while still keeping him pinned. "That's half the thrill, isn't it?"

"Totally shameless," Cloud repeated, arching up against him. He couldn't get his hands free, but nothing was stopping him from running his mouth over whatever parts of Zack he could reach. He did exactly that, tentatively flicking his tongue against the place where Zack's neck met his shoulder, and was rewarded by a shudder from the older boy.

"You make it sound like a bad thing," Zack murmured. "But I notice you're not telling me to stop."

"Don't stop," Cloud pleaded, half afraid he would just to prove a point or something. He was so hard and his body was on fire with want and need. Jerking his hips up again, he revelled in the feel of his cock rubbing against Zack's even through two layers of cloth. "Please, Zack."

"Jailbait, that's what you are," Zack said with a groan as Cloud bucked his hips again. "How could anyone resist this kind of temptation?" Partially releasing Cloud, he ran his free hand down over the younger boy's stomach and slipped his fingers under the waistband of his shorts. "This okay?"

"Yes, yes, please," Cloud babbled, shuddering beneath him. "Oh Hades, please, Zack."

"You know, I think I kind of like it when you beg me like that," Zack chuckled, that deep husky chuckle that made shivers run over Cloud's spine. His hand slipped further down, and his fingers curled around Cloud's hard cock in a way that made the younger boy moan helplessly.

And with the exquisitely horrible timing that was the curse of horny teenage boys everywhere, that was the moment their tentmates chose to return. "Fuck, who tied these things?" a slurred voice demanded from just outside the flap, making Cloud and Zack both freeze. "They're knotted!"

"They weren't knotted before you started," another too-loud voice proclaimed, laughing. "You're just drunk, man. And be quiet, those two kids are probably sleeping. Here, let me do that."

Once the initial shock wore off, Zack and Cloud scrambled as quietly as they could to wrap themselves up in their separate sleeping bags again. The flap of the tent was thrown open just as Cloud yanked the cover over him to hide the embarrassing state of his body, and Zack had barely managed to burrow into his bag in time. The two men stumbled in, shushing each other in loud voices as Cloud and Zack did their best to feign sleep.

If the men had been even a little less drunk it probably would have been obvious just what the two boys had been up to, but luck was on their side in this at least. As Cloud watched through his lashes, his body so tense with frustrated desire he thought he might explode, their tentmates stripped down haphazardly and collapsed into their own bedrolls.

They were snoring in minutes, the loud sound produced only by a man who is wasted and sound asleep. "Zack," Cloud whispered, agonized.

"We don't dare, they could wake up," Zack replied, and he sounded just as frustrated. Sighing, he shifted in his sleeping bag so he was facing Cloud, and gave the younger boy a somewhat disgruntled smile. "We'll just have to wait. It won't kill us." The smile softened slightly as he added, "At least now I know I _can_ kiss you without you punching me, given the opportunity."

Groaning, Cloud buried his face in his pillow. There was no way they would be able to get even a semblance of privacy on board the ship, and they already knew how difficult it was to get a moment to yourself in the barracks. "You're going to be the death of me, one of these days," he muttered sourly, shifting to try to find a position that was comfortable. Considering how hard he was, that wasn't an easy prospect.

"You think this is any easier for me?" Zack countered. "Go to sleep. Lying here staring at each other isn't going to help."

"Yeah, right, like I can sleep like this," Cloud retorted, but he settled in grudgingly. It was an unbelievable ending to a surreal day, and he was half afraid that if he did manage to sleep, it would all turn out to have been a dream.

Then again, he didn't really mind just looking at Zack as the other boy composed himself to try to sleep. Smiling to himself, Cloud watched Zack and didn't even realize it when his own eyes started to drift closed.


	11. Chapter 11

"Hey lazybones! Up and at 'em!" Zack kicked the side of Cloud's bunk, far too awake and cheerful considering reveille hadn't even finished playing yet.

Groaning, Cloud burrowed further under his blankets and pillow. "Where do you get your energy from?" he mumbled, disgusted. There were moments when he didn't really like Zack, and they all seemed to happen in the very early morning.

"I siphon it off from you, clearly," Zack said, amused at Cloud's reluctance as always. "I'm hitting the showers. Don't go back to sleep! We don't need _another_ punishment duty for being late to morning inspection again."

Freeing one hand from the tangle of blankets, Cloud made a rude gesture in his direction. Zack laughed and wandered off, and Cloud couldn't resist the temptation to peek out from beneath the pillow. From behind in nothing but boxers, Zack's body was one long sleek line of tanned muscle. Cloud hadn't figured out yet if the golden tone was just Zack's natural skin colour or if the older boy was sneaking off to sunbathe somewhere, but either way it was absolutely gorgeous.

There was one advantage to Cloud's well-known reluctance to get out of bed in the mornings; it gave them an excuse not to shower at the same time. They hadn't needed to try it once to know that would lead to a potentially embarrassing situation, now that things had changed between them. So Zack went first, returned and chivvied Cloud out of bed, and if they were late to morning inspection more often than not it was a small price to pay for keeping their dignity.

Not that there was really any way to tell that anything _had_ changed between them. As predicted, they hadn't had so much as a moment to themselves on the crowded ship on the way back to Midgar. The closest they'd come to privacy was when a bemused Zack was rubbing Cloud's back as the younger boy threw up over the railing, and that was hardly a situation likely to induce feelings of romance.

Nor had there been any more opportunities once they'd reached Midgar. Even when they were alone, such as when they were patrolling deserted corridors together, they didn't dare so much as steal a kiss. The Shinra tower was riddled with security cameras, and they had no way of knowing if someone was watching or not.

There were days when Cloud even wondered if he'd imagined the whole thing, a fantasy created by his hormones in collusion with the potent rum.

Then he would glance over and catch Zack looking at him with that banked fire burning deep in his eyes, and a shiver would go down his spine as his body responded with an equal heat. At those moments, there wasn't a doubt in his mind that the tension between them was real.

And so they continued to shower separately, for fear that if they didn't then one of these days one of them was going to snap and jump the other. Teenage hormones were not a force to be denied for long, but neither of them particularly wanted to give their toonmates that kind of ammunition against them. At best something like that would make great blackmail and teasing material; at worst, it could earn them dishonourable discharges or even a court martial.

Although, given the knowing and indulgent smirks Cloud sometimes caught the other men in their company giving the two of them, he thought they might not be as subtle about the whole thing as they thought they were.

Of course, the fact that neither of them was capable of listening to the other jerk off without giving in to the urge as well probably didn't help their cause any. So far nobody had said anything though, and Cloud was just hoping to maintain the status quo.

Even if it did cause him to die of sheer frustration. Groaning again, he hauled himself out of bed and groped sleepily for his shower kit, knowing Zack would be back shortly.

Once he saw the familiar black spikes heading back towards their bunk, Cloud yawned and shoved himself to his feet, shambling off towards the showers. Zack clapped him on the shoulder as they passed, and even that casual touch was enough to make Cloud shiver. They really needed to find an opportunity to ease some of this tension, before one or both of them exploded.

At least it helped wake him up a little, so that by the time he was under the shower his eyes were actually open all the way. He washed up quickly, not really wanting another round of punishment duties for being late.

For once he actually wasn't running late as he stepped out of the shower room, towel wrapped around his waist, and went to go deal with his untameable hair. Somebody coughed as he walked by, and it sounded suspiciously like a muffled snicker. Cloud gave him a narrow-eyed look, but the man wasn't looking at him.

Further down the room somebody else choked, and there was another snicker from somewhere Cloud couldn't identify. Now thoroughly suspicious, he all but ran for the mirror and jostled for a spot in front of it.

Only to pull up short, staring in a sort of fascinated horror. His hair, the usual spiky locks flattened by water and mussed by sleep, was a bright, vivid _green_. It looked like someone had decided to grow tantal greens on his head. "What the _hell_?" he exclaimed, lifting one hand and tugging on a lock of his hair, just to make sure it was real.

When he pulled a bit down over his face he could see that yes, it wasn't just a trick of the light in the mirror, it really was green. Behind him the snickers had grown into muffled laughter, and everyone was carefully looking away from him. Glancing down at his shampoo bottle, Cloud glared as he realized the liquid in it was the same verdant green colour.

"Who put dye in my shampoo?" he demanded, incensed. It was a fairly popular prank among the troopers, though he'd never been subjected to it before. Apparently someone had decided that his typical zombie-like state in the mornings made him a prime target, since he could be counted on not to notice the altered colour of his shampoo.

The laughter got louder, but nobody owned up to it. Fuming, Cloud went to tug a brush through his hair anyway in a futile effort to make it look more presentable.

"I'm going to kill whoever did this," he declared as he stalked back through the barrack to his bunk. "Don't you know dye doesn't wash out of blonde hair the way it's supposed to?" He was going to be stuck like this for _weeks_ , and he'd probably end up having to practically buzz cut his hair to get rid of it. He'd look like a prime idiot, either way.

Zack took one wide-eyed look at him and burst out laughing, doubling over to clutch at his stomach. "You look like a walking shrub!" he proclaimed, wheezing with the effort of breathing through the laughter. "You better not go near any chocobos, they'll try to eat you!"

"You're not helping," Cloud muttered. Zack was already half dressed, and most of the others were finished or nearly so.

Wiping tears of laughter from his eyes, Zack grinned at him. "Aw, we'll find some dark dye for you later. At least that'll make it an acceptable colour, you'll only get in trouble at this inspection. Now hurry up, you don't need to be late as well as green." He snickered again and ducked the shampoo bottle Cloud chucked at him.

Grumbling about best friends and toonmates with reprehensible senses of humour, Cloud reached for his footlocker to get his uniform.

Half a dozen long, slinky objects burst out at him, and Cloud fell back on his ass with a startled yell in an instinctive attempt to dodge. Automatically he mentally reached for the magic of the Fire materia that had never left his bracer since that night in Mideel, but the bracer was still _in_ the trunk, and his weapons were all out of reach.

When the initial moment of blind panic had passed and his heart had started beating again, Cloud looked more closely at the dangling objects now hanging out of his trunk. Nudging one cautiously with his foot, he scowled at the way it gave beneath his touch. "Plushy snakes?" he blurted out, incredulous. Scrambling back up into a crouch from his undignified sprawled position on the floor, he peered into the locker and saw the spring mechanisms that had been set up to make the snakes jump out at him the moment he lifted the lid. "What is this, official 'pick on Cloud' day?"

More badly muffled laughter was his only answer, and he glared around the room. "You guys suck," he declared, grabbing his uniform and dressing with quick, jerky motions. This was a little too reminiscent of the bullying and pranks that had been pulled on him back in Nibelheim, where he'd been the kid nobody wanted anything to do with. He knew this was more good-natured than that had been, but two pranks in a row was a bit much.

He sat down on the bunk and yanked on his combat boot. Immediately a very odd expression crossed his face, as something soft and squishy worked itself through his sock and around his foot. "Ew! Augh, gross, what the..."

Hastily pulling his foot back out again, he stared at the foamy white globs clinging to the wool of his sock. Scooping up a finger's worth, he sniffed it cautiously and his suspicions were confirmed. "Shaving cream? Come _on_ , guys!"

Fuming, he looked around to see if anyone else thought this had gone too far. Zack, the traitor, had turned to face the wall and was leaning against it, his shoulders shaking with laughter that was so hard it was silent. "Zack, you _bastard_ , is this your doing?" Cloud demanded, trying not to show how hurt he was.

"Nope, not me," Zack said, but his voice was strangled with the laughter he wasn't voicing and he still wouldn't look at Cloud. Neither would anyone else, for that matter.

Biting his lip, Cloud glared down at the shoe in his hands, trying not to do something stupid like explode in anger or start crying. He'd always counted on Zack being the one he could trust not to pull this sort of crap on him, but it seemed like his best friend was as much a part of this as everyone else.

Everyone... Cloud's eyes narrowed. "Wait. What day is it?" He tried to reckon the date in his head. He'd lost track of the exact date somewhere in the jungles of Mideel, and it was easy for the day-in and day-out sameness of military life in Midgar to cause one day to blend into the next.

"August nineteenth," Zack choked out, finally turning to give Cloud a grin that was so huge it should have split his face in two. "Bout time you figured it out, kid. Happy birthday."

Flushing, Cloud ducked his head again as the whole platoon started whooping with laughter - and adding their birthday wishes to Zack's. It was a company tradition that birthday victims got picked on by their whole platoon. Hell, Cloud had helped to TP every item in another private's kit just last week. It hadn't been maliciously meant at all - was in fact just a way of including him in the group, showing that he was no different from anyone else.

Suddenly _very_ grateful he hadn't started yelling or something equally embarrassing, Cloud sighed and rolled his eyes at all of them, shaking his head. "Somebody toss me a towel, please?" he said over the laughter, fighting his blush at being the centre of attention. "I have to wear these boots, you know!"

"You realize that officially, you're older than me now?" Zack asked him, still laughing as he handed over a small towel. When Cloud gave him a confused look, he shrugged. "They would have had to put your age as sixteen on the paperwork, or it wouldn't have been processed. So, since it's your birthday, that means you must be seventeen now. And I'm still only a few months into sixteen."

The idea that he would be listed as older than Zack was so absurd that Cloud burst out laughing as well. "Should I be the one calling you 'kid', then?" he asked, amused.

"Nah, they'll just keep listing your age as sixteen until you actually are sixteen," someone else put in, chuckling. Everyone in the platoon was aware that Cloud was underage; it would have been rather difficult to hide the fact, really. But mostly they didn't mention it, since it was tacitly agreed that Cloud had more than earned his place among them, young or not.

Thankfully it was also a company tradition that the officers would look the other way regarding certain irregularities for this one day, so Cloud's vibrant green hair didn't get him more than a stifled grin from the lieutenant doing the morning inspection. After that Cloud was sufficiently warned that he managed to avoid the worst of the pranks, and was able to just patiently suffer through most of the others.

By the time they were released from their duties at the end of the afternoon, though, he was more than ready for his birthday to be over. He and Zack had been assigned to stand guard at the building's main doors, and that meant standing motionless and straight-faced for hours. That in itself was hard enough, but the civilians coming in and out were forever trying to make the guards laugh or otherwise break their composure. Today, of course, everyone in alpha company had made the time to pass by and do their best to tease Cloud into breaking. At least the helmet had covered his awful hair.

"Aw, cheer up," Zack said, ruffling his green spikes as they changed out of their dress blues and back into their casual uniforms. Cloud had been scowling at his locker, which had proved to be stuffed full of confetti that spilled out the moment he opened the door. "At least we don't have any night duties today."

"That just means everyone has more time to pull pranks on me!" Cloud exclaimed, batting Zack's hand away irritably. "They can only go so far while I'm on duty, but free time means open season. Think I could volunteer for some kind of extra duty for the evening?"

"Nah, you don't want to do that," Zack laughed, nudging him in the ribs with an elbow. "C'mon, let's grab dinner in the mess, I'll scrounge around and see if I can find some dark dye for you, and we'll head back to the barrack. I bet the guys have organized a party or something for you, since we've all got the evening free."

"That's _not_ a prospect that's likely to work as an incentive to make me want to go back!" Cloud pointed out, though he was fighting a reluctant smile. "They're just going to try to get me smashed, and then get me into compromising positions so they can take pictures for later blackmail."

"You don't think I'd let them get away with that, do you?" Zack asked, affecting a hurt look. Cloud swatted at him, and the older boy ducked away with a mock pout.

"I think you'd be right out in front with your personal camera," Cloud retorted. "Why don't you do something useful like give me a hand cleaning all this confetti up, instead of giving me more reasons why I should go find a dark corner to hide in for the night?"

"If you find one, let me know where it is and maybe we can take advantage of it sometime," Zack muttered under his breath as he leaned down to help Cloud gather up the bits of paper. Cloud flushed at the look of heated frustration Zack gave him, and nodded shortly.

Every time their hands touched as they scooped up piles of confetti, it felt like tiny sparks of lightning jumped between them. Cloud might have suspected Zack of doing something unorthodox with the Lightning he had equipped, except that he knew this particular electric tension had nothing to do with materia.

As they walked together back to their barrack after dinner, their shoulders bumping every so often, Cloud wondered if there was any way they could get away with heading into the city on a weekend leave sometime and just getting a hotel room. It seemed like the only way they'd ever get any privacy, and he was sure he was going to die of frustration soon.

The SOLDIER exams were coming up fast, though, and by unspoken agreement Zack and Cloud had both been spending every free moment they had studying and practicing. They weren't the only ones in their company who were planning to take the exams, but everyone else had been through them at least once before. Very few people passed the exams on the first try, though Zack and Cloud were equally determined to be among that number. Wasting a whole twenty-four hour leave just for a few hours of personal gratification would be shooting themselves in the foot.

On the other hand, Cloud reflected as their hands brushed and they both flinched away, carrying this level of tension into the exams with them might not be a great idea either.

As predicted, the platoon had gathered together a stash of distinctly against regulation beer and snacks, and proceeded to mob Cloud the moment he walked in the door. Really it was just that troopers would take any excuse for a party, but Cloud still felt warmed by the evidence of affection from the rest of his toonmates.

Despite the healthy dose of Tabasco sauce someone had apparently dumped into the first beer they handed him. Coughing and spluttering amid the laughter of the others, Cloud grabbed another bottle - an _un_ opened one - and chugged the whole thing to wash the spicy taste out of his mouth.

After that, things got lively. People from other platoons and even other companies wandered by, attracted by the signs of revelry. It didn't take long for the reason for the party to be forgotten completely, as it simply became the sort of party troopers everywhere threw themselves into with abandon. Nobody got drunk, since they all had duty the next day and there wasn't enough beer for that anyway, but everyone was pleasantly buzzed.

At some point not long before lights out, Cloud wormed his way through the press of the crowd and out the back door of the building, gulping in the cool night air gratefully. His head was swimming, more from the heat and lack of air inside than the beer. He ran a hand through his hair, soaked with sweat and yet oddly dry from the bleach they'd ended up using on it. It was a paler yellow than usual, but at least it wasn't green and it wouldn't look as odd as it grew out as it would have if he'd dyed it dark.

Moving away from the door so he wouldn't be disturbed by anyone else coming out for a bit of fresh air, he leaned against the wall and let the breeze play over his face, his eyes closed.

His only warning was a soft rustle of fabric and the brief scuff of a boot against the gravel, and then warm lips covered his. Cloud went stiff and his eyes flew open, but before he could punch out the person assaulting him his brain registered familiar grey-violet eyes laughing at him from inches away.

"Zack!" Cloud gasped as the older boy pulled away a bit, his hands on the wall on either side of Cloud's shoulders. "You idiot, what are you doing? I almost decked you! And someone could see us."

"Oh?" Zack raised an eyebrow at him, and looked a little disappointed. "And here I thought you followed me out on purpose. But if you want me to leave you be..."

Instinctively Cloud's hands flashed out and fisted in the older boy's shirt, preventing him from pulling away. He knew he should let go, that someone really _could_ come out at any moment and see them, but the feel of Zack's body a mere breath away from his was more intoxicating than any beer could ever be.

"I didn't know you were out here," Cloud admitted, his voice low and aching with barely restrained desire. "I lost track of you an hour ago. It's way too crowded in there, I just came out to get some air." He tore his gaze away from Zack's mouth long enough to see there was still a hint of disappointment in the older boy's eyes. "If I'd known you were out here, I'd definitely have followed you, though."

That worked, and Zack's smile was easy again. "Come on," Zack said, grabbing his hand and urging him to follow. He led Cloud into the space between B and C platoons' barracks, where the shadows wrapped around them like a lover's embrace. It wasn't exactly out of sight, since the space between buildings was wide enough for two to walk abreast, but it was a little more secluded.

Leaning in again, Zack pinned Cloud to the wall with his whole body, kissing him like a drowning man gulped at air. Melting willingly beneath him, Cloud kissed him back no less fiercely, his tongue warring with Zack's for dominance in their mouths.

"Shit," Zack muttered against Cloud's mouth as they broke away for air, not bothering to pull back far enough that their lips didn't brush with the movement. "Shit, Cloud."

"Yeah," Cloud gasped, in perfect agreement. He'd thought maybe he'd exaggerated how good it had felt in his own mind, that his frustrated hormones had blown the experience out of proportion and the real thing would never be able to live up to his expectations. If anything, this was even better than he'd remembered, all the hotter for weeks of denial.

Rocking against him, Zack ground his groin into Cloud's and made them both moan. They were almost the same height now, Cloud having had a recent growth spurt, and that meant their cocks were pressed together in the most delicious way. They kissed again, and this time Cloud tipped his head back and let Zack dominate the kiss even as Cloud's hands searched to find a way under the older boy's tunic.

Anyone walking along on either side of the buildings could glance down the narrow alley between and see them. At that moment, Cloud discovered he really didn't care. They'd been denying themselves for too long, and now that he had the taste of Zack in his mouth and the feel of Zack under his hands, he couldn't bring himself to let go again.

Despite Zack's muscled, heated body pressed against every inch of his, it still wasn't enough. Finally Cloud got his hands under Zack's tunic and pulled the thin undershirt out from under his belt, allowing his fingers to glide over smooth skin. Zack's abs were well defined, and he groaned and shuddered as Cloud explored each dip and swell by touch.

"Tease," Zack accused him, his lips trailing away from Cloud's mouth to slide down the sensitive side of his neck. "You are such a tease. Hades, but I can hardly stand to even look at you some days. I want you so bad."

"Who's teasing who?" Cloud asked, moaning as Zack latched his teeth into the juncture of his neck and shoulder and suckled. He was grateful the collars of their uniform were so high, because otherwise the mark Zack was going to leave would be highly visible. He was still going to have a bitch of a time hiding it in the showers.

Sliding his hands up, Cloud found the hard nubs of Zack's nipples and pinched them, rewarded by Zack's shuddering groan. Zack rocked against him again, pushing his thigh between Cloud's legs and lifting him by the waist until his toes were barely touching the ground. He squirmed, grinding himself up against Zack's groin, pressing against him to get the friction they both wanted so badly.

"One of these days," Zack murmured into his skin, licking at the bite mark he'd made, "I am going to drag you down into the city, and we are going to find a room with a bed somewhere we don't have to worry about being caught or interrupted. And then I am going to strip you down, tease you until you beg me, and fuck you into the next _week_."

It wasn't anything Cloud hadn't fantasized about half a hundred times since Mideel, but somehow hearing Zack vocalize it like that made it seem real and immediate. Not to mention very, very hot. "Y-yeah?" he stammered, voice rough and deeper than usual. "You talk big, but I haven't... ah, don't stop... haven't seen any evidence that you're prepared to back it up."

"You want evidence?" Zack thrust against him again, pushing him into the brick wall hard enough that he'd probably have bruises on his back, but Cloud only moaned. "I'll give you evidence, you little brat. Fuck, Cloud."

"That's th-the general idea," Cloud agreed breathlessly, pinching at Zack's nipples again before sliding his hands around to rake his fingers against the strong muscles of the older boy's back. He knew they couldn't, not really, not here. Nor did he really want his first time to be up against a rough brick wall in an alley, though at that moment he'd probably have agreed to it if Zack suggested it. But with Zack plastered against him and rocking into him, just the thought of having Zack buried inside him was enough to make Cloud shudder.

Dropping one hand, Zack fumbled at the fastening of Cloud's belt. It took him longer than it should have, but eventually the buckle fell free and he was able to undo Cloud's pants. As he slid his hand inside and curled his fingers around Cloud's cock, the younger boy squeezed his eyes shut and prayed that this time nobody would interrupt them.

The helpless moan Cloud gave as Zack rubbed a thumb over his tip was wild and more than a little loud. Shushing him, Zack fastened his mouth to Cloud's again to help him stay quiet. It was a good thing he did, because as he stroked his hand over Cloud's cock the younger boy found himself completely unable to stifle his cries.

Writhing and pushing his hips up to thrust into Zack's grip, Cloud gasped for air around Zack's mouth. Guilty simultaneous masturbation was no substitute for any kind of real satisfaction, and Cloud knew he wasn't going to last long.

A little desperate, he forced his hand past Zack's belt and pants, running his fingers over the older boy's rock-hard cock. Now it was Zack's turn to jerk into his hand and groan loudly, and Cloud tugged at his belt with his free hand. When it came loose, he was able to get his hand farther down Zack's pants and get a better grip on the older boy's erection.

They settled into a rhythm, not unlike the one they shared when they were lying in their bunk, listening to each other and wishing they were doing this instead. Sucking at each other's tongues, snatching quick gasps of air between heated kisses, they pushed each other closer to the edge. Cloud's whole body was trembling with need, and he could see the pulse beating frantically in Zack's throat.

Tearing his mouth away abruptly, Zack buried his face in Cloud's shoulder and the motion of his hips turned jerky. "Fuck, fuck, Cloud," he muttered, his voice breaking on a deep moan that made the tension in Cloud's groin pull tighter still. Then he muffled his cry in Cloud's shirt, sticky hot liquid spilling over Cloud's fingers as he came.

His hand squeezed down as the muscles in his body clenched and relaxed with release, and that was enough to push Cloud over the edge as well. Stifling his shout into a high keening noise in the back of his throat, Cloud threw his head back hard enough that he saw stars when it impacted with the wall. Or maybe that really was from the force of his orgasm, a hundred times stronger than anything he'd ever felt at his own hands.

For a long moment they stayed that way, hands still loosely wrapped around each other's softening cocks and bodies supporting each other to help them stay upright, as they drifted back to reality. Finally Zack gave a shaky chuckle and pulled his hand free, wiping it on his white undershirt where it wouldn't show as badly.

"You are something else," he murmured to a still dazed Cloud, kissing the younger boy again fiercely. "When we get through the exams, the first leave we get I'm taking you somewhere we can do this properly."

"Yeah," Cloud agreed, his voice still husky with the shouts he'd been struggling so hard to swallow. "Sounds good."

"C'mon, clean your hand off and let's get back in there before they miss us and someone comes looking," Zack urged him, pulling away slowly and letting Cloud slide back down the wall to rest on his own feet. Cloud swayed, putting his other hand against the wall to steady himself, feeling a little light headed.

But entirely content and relaxed, for a change. He followed Zack's example and cleaned his hand off on his undershirt, then tucked everything back in where it was supposed to be and straightened his uniform. Zack had done the same, and except for a faintly smug smile and an unusual look of satisfaction in the older boy's eyes, Cloud wouldn't have been able to tell what they'd been up to if he hadn't already known. He hoped he looked as casual; he had a feeling he might have a stupid smile on his face, but he couldn't seem to do anything about it.

"Shit, they're sounding lights out," Zack exclaimed, as the familiar notes of taps came over the loudspeakers. Swearing and laughing, they scrambled back towards the door and into the barrack.

The party had calmed considerably, and the last remnants of the troopers who weren't part of their unit trailed out as Zack and Cloud entered, heading for their own beds. Hoping the dimming lights hid the flush on his cheeks, Cloud followed Zack back to their bunk.

"Sleep well," Zack murmured as they stripped hastily down to their boxers in preparation for sleep. Cloud dared a glance at him, admiring the sleek muscles his hands had been running over just minutes before, and he could tell by the look in Zack's eyes that the older boy wanted to kiss him. He smiled back, which was enough to tell Zack that Cloud felt the same, and that was almost as good as actually doing it.

"G'night, Zack," Cloud replied, his voice soft and satisfied. As he pulled back his covers and slipped into his bed, he decided he'd never had a better birthday than this.

That conviction lasted about three seconds after he got into the bed. "All right, that's it! Which of you bastards short-sheeted my bed?"


	12. Chapter 12

Taking deep breaths to calm himself had stopped working about half an hour ago. At this point Cloud was just trying to keep from descending into a full blown panic attack as he reviewed his notes over and over.

Zack was pacing, but it was less out of nerves and more a matter of his normal inability to sit still for long. Every so often the older boy would do some knee bends or push ups, but mostly he was just roaming aimlessly in small circles. He seemed much more composed than Cloud, though - hell, more composed than most of the men waiting with them.

In less than half an hour, they would all be admitted to the examining room for the written portion of this year's SOLDIER exams. Cloud wasn't sure exactly what the tests would be composed of; when he'd asked the others in their company who'd taken the exams before, they'd shrugged and told him to just study everything. He and Zack had put countless hours into taking notes and drilling each other on everything they could think of. In the last week Cloud felt like they'd hardly slept at all because they'd spent so much time huddling up on Zack's bunk with a flashlight and a textbook, trying not to disturb any of the others.

Opinions were divided on whether the written portion of the exam or the physical portion was more difficult, but either way if he didn't pass this part, he wouldn't be allowed to continue on to the physical exam. Cloud had always done reasonably well on tests in school, but the importance of this exam was enough to make him hyperventilate every time he thought about it too hard.

"Ramuh, Cloud, will you calm down?" Zack said plaintively, pausing in front of him. "You're making me tired just watching you, and you're not accomplishing anything!"

"I'm studying," Cloud gritted out through clenched teeth. He glared at his friend, unable to understand how Zack could be so cavalier about this. "You should be, too!"

"If you don't know it by now, then you don't know it," Zack proclaimed firmly, plucking the sheaf of paper out of Cloud's hands and ignoring his outraged cry. "The only thing cramming accomplishes at this point is to confuse you, panic you, and muddle the things you _do_ know."

"I can't just stand here and stare at the walls!" Cloud protested. At least muttering his way through his notes had kept him occupied enough to stop him from truly panicking.

"Relax, Cloud," Zack coaxed him, his tone even and soothing. " _Breathe_ , kid, you're going to pass out. No, don't hyperventilate," he added as Cloud started to do just that. "Just breathe. Nice and slow. Look, let's do some drills, okay?"

"Drills?" Cloud stared at Zack, certain he'd misunderstood. Either that, or the older boy had lost it. "Drill is the one thing we _aren't_ going to be tested on, Zack!"

"Exactly," Zack said, as if that should have made perfect sense to Cloud. "We're not being tested on it, so you don't have to strain yourself trying to make sure it's _perfect_. You can just relax into the rhythm, and stop thinking so hard. Don't look at me like I've grown a second head," he finished, amused. "I'm serious."

"You're crazy," Cloud said flatly. He made a grab for his notes, but Zack held them back out of his reach. "Zack! Give me back my damn notes! Just because you're too lazy to study doesn't mean I should be!"

"It's not laziness, it's knowing when you're doing more damage than good," Zack countered. With a quick twist that Cloud wasn't fast enough to block, he dumped the papers into one of the waste bins. The lid on it was designed so people wouldn't be offended by the sight or smell of the garbage, and it didn't come off. Cloud wouldn't be able to get them back.

Dismayed, Cloud kicked at Zack. When the older boy blocked what had become an expected attack, Cloud punched him in the ribs instead. Hard.

"Ow!" Wincing, Zack rubbed at his side. "Damn it, Cloud. You trying to break my ribs? I need them in one piece for the physical exam!"

"You deserved it, you jerk," Cloud fumed. "How am I supposed to study now?"

"You're not," Zack informed him, totally unrepentant. "You're going to practice drill with me." Glancing around with a grin at the rest of the room, where most of the people were blatantly watching the two of them, he added, "Anybody else who wants to join in is welcome. Atten _tion_!"

"You are completely out of your mind," Cloud said, shaking his head. "What makes you think I'm going to go along with your insanity?"

"Because now that your notes are gone, it's either participate or sit staring at the walls and go nuts anyway," Zack reminded him, still grinning. "At least my brand of insanity is more fun. Now look alive there, trooper!"

Well, he had a point. Resigned, Cloud snapped to attention, and Zack started barking out drill commands in a voice that was only slightly quieter than it would have been on the parade grounds.

Cloud had expected the others in the room to complain about the disruption to their own reviewing, but to his surprise most of the waiting men seemed to take Zack's words to heart. Someone raided a supply closet and came up with a supply of brooms and mops, the handles of which were quickly cut down to the appropriate length to allow them to substitute for rifles or swords. In minutes it had become an impromptu competition, and Zack willingly got into the spirit of things by calling out the orders for the more complicated drill routines used in formal parades.

3rd Rifle's bravo company prided itself on having one of the best drill squads in Shinra, and the whole battalion was a bit drill-happy. Zack and Cloud had spent hours practicing these moves on boring patrols and sentry duty, and the familiar routines soon absorbed Cloud. The fancy drills were difficult enough to require complete concentration, especially since the broom handle substitutes were hardly ideal copies of a real rifle's heft and feel.

"Aaaand... halt!" Zack called. Everyone participating snapped back to attention, 'rifles' resting against their shoulders. Cloud blinked as he was thrown out of the almost trance-like state he'd been in, and abruptly remembered where exactly he was.

One of Heidigger's subordinate clerks was standing in the doorway to the exam room, gaping at them all in astonishment. Cloud's face went beet red as he wondered what the man must be thinking, to see them all goofing off like little kids instead of applying themselves seriously to the last minutes they had to study. He could only hope they wouldn't be disqualified then and there.

The clerk either wasn't inclined to do so or didn't have the authority, though. He just cleared his throat, and moved out of the doorway. "They're ready for you now."

"See?" Zack clapped Cloud on the shoulder, and winked at him. "Now you're not panicking, and I bet you're remembering what you already know more clearly, aren't you? Let's go kick some ass."

Grudgingly Cloud had to admit that he did feel a little calmer as they filed into the exam room. Desks had been set up for the participants, spaced far enough apart that they would have needed to have eyes on extendable stalks if they wanted to copy someone else's work. Cloud took the first seat he came to, and Zack took the one next to it.

There was a man in the uniform of a SOLDIER 1st Class standing at the front, his hands tucked behind him in the 'at ease' position. When everyone was seated, he nodded to acknowledge them. "Welcome to the written portion of the exam for SOLDIER applicants," he said. "Your test papers are already on the desks. Do not turn them over until we indicate you should do so. You will have four hours to complete the test. If you finish early, you may leave." His tone indicated he didn't think such a thing was likely, unless it was because you'd given up. "Pens and pencils have been provided; if you need more, raise your hand and one of the attendants will come to help you. Speaking for any reason from the moment the test begins is an automatic failure. Anyone caught cheating will be facing a court martial."

Fisting his hands in his lap, Cloud stared at the stack of papers face-down on the desk in front of him. This was it; the moment of truth. Some men took years before they successfully passed this exam. Others tried their whole lives, and never made it.

From the corner of his eye he saw Zack flash him a thumbs-up, and he gave his friend a weak grin in reply. "Begin!" the SOLDIER said, and there was a rustle as everyone in the room turned over their papers.

Scanning the first couple of questions, Cloud felt his heart rise up in his throat and threaten to choke him. 'Show the exact chemical process involved in creating a Fire materia from raw mako.' 'Write a brief paragraph describing the duties and responsibilities of a lance corporal in the mounted chocobo division.' 'List all SOLDIERs currently on active duty, alphabetically by name'.

Everything was either technical and difficult to the point where he would have needed a degree to know the answer, or completely irrelevant material that he would never have thought to study in a million years. Flipping to the second page, he saw that it was more of the same, as was the third.

"This is bullshit!" someone behind him exclaimed, echoing the thoughts in Cloud's head perfectly. Shoving his chair back with a scraping sound, the man slammed his hand down on the desk. "Nobody could pass this! You're rigging the exams, giving impossible tests to people you don't want to pass."

Wondering if that was true, Cloud tried not to panic again. Glancing over at Zack he saw the older boy was scribbling away, a slightly amused smile on his face the only indication he was even listening to the man's diatribe.

"Stand down, sergeant," the SOLDIER at the front said coolly. "You're dismissed."

The man stormed out of the test room, slamming the door behind him. Swallowing hard, Cloud turned his attention back to his test paper, and summoned every bit of will and determination he possessed. This might be a rigged test, but be damned if he was going to give up without even trying! There had to be _something_ he could answer.

Flipping through the pages, he scanned each one carefully, his panic growing with each question he had no idea how to answer. Finally, at the top of the sixth page, he found something he knew. 'Describe the conditions under which it is permissible for a SOLDIER to grant a promotion in the field to a trooper.'

Hell, _every_ trooper knew that list off by heart, because every one of them was hoping it would happen. Cloud wrote out the various conditions, and glanced at the next question. 'List ten different magic materia, and the spells available in each. Do not use Fire, Lightning, Ice, Restore, or Revive.'

He knew the answer to that, too! Blinking, Cloud scanned down the rest of the page, then flipped it over and looked at the next one. He knew the answers to most of these questions, and they were all things that were perfectly reasonable for them to be tested on. Flicking rapidly through the rest of the stack, he saw that the rest of the exam was the same.

All of the questions were _hard_ , but not impossible. As his breathing slowly calmed and his pulse returned to something resembling normal, Cloud realized it had just been another kind of test. The sort of person who would give up just because a task seemed impossible at the outset was not the sort of person Shinra wanted in SOLDIER. Feeling much better about the whole thing, he went back to page six and got to work.

The SOLDIER called out the time every half hour, letting them know how long they had left. Cloud almost wished he wouldn't, as it was just a distraction that added to the pressure he was already under. In the last ten minutes the count-down changed to every minute, and everyone started scribbling frantically to get a few last questions done. Cloud hadn't finished everything, but he was only a few pages from the end of the test and he'd answered the vast majority of the questions up to that point. As the SOLDIER called "Time!" and everyone set down their pens, he prayed it would be enough.

"That's it!" Zack exclaimed, bouncing up out of his seat. "We're done! C'mon, let's get the hell out of here before I go stir crazy."

"You are such a little kid sometimes," Cloud said, but he didn't fight when Zack grabbed him by the arm and hauled him up out of his seat. "Let's hit the mess, I'm hungry! I was too nervous to eat breakfast."

"Yeah, me too," Zack confessed, which made Cloud stare at him in astonishment. He'd been so busy reviewing his notes he hadn't paid any attention to what his friend ate, but he'd assumed the older boy was packing away the food with his usual gusto. Zack certainly hadn't shown any other evidence of nerves. "What, I'm not allowed to be nervous about something this major?" he asked with a mock-pout when Cloud stared at him.

"You hide it well," the younger boy replied, shaking his head. "So, let's go then. I'm surprised I couldn't hear your stomach all the way from my desk."

"Yeah, I'm all for food, but not at the mess," Zack proclaimed. "We're off duty until the exams are over or we're disqualified, and they're not going to post the results of the written until tonight. Let's hit the city for lunch and spend the afternoon wandering, it'll take our minds off worrying about whether we passed. Not like we can do anything about it now."

The idea of getting off the base and away from everything that would remind him of the exams was actually fairly appealing. "So long as we stay above the plate," Cloud said firmly. "It's a nice day today, smog notwithstanding. I want to enjoy it."

"Aw, you just don't want me to drag you down there to meet Aeris," Zack teased him, and Cloud flushed. That was, in fact, part of why he was so reluctant to go down beneath the plate when they had leave. For all Zack's assurances that she would love Cloud and that there had never been anything serious between him and her, Cloud was more than a little wary of meeting his 'boyfriend's girlfriend', if either of those terms could be said to apply.

"Above the plate, or you can go without me," Cloud insisted, and Zack capitulated with a shrug.

"Have it your way," the older boy conceded. "But either way, let's go before I start swooning like the heroine in a bad drama. I'm starving!"

The gate guards gave them no trouble when they flashed the badges that identified them as exam participants, and they headed out into the city. Upper Midgar was actually a pretty decent place, though Cloud had been told the air pollution problem was getting exponentially worse every year. There were lots of quaint shops and cafes lining the main streets, and men in Shinra blues were always welcomed.

They descended on the first decent-looking restaurant they found, and proceeded to put away enough food to feed a whole squad. The waitress seemed amused by them, saying something about 'ravening teenage boys' and then dimpling when Zack complimented her outrageously.

Cloud sometimes wondered if he ought to feel jealous when Zack did things like that, but... it was just _Zack_. He flirted with everyone, not in any kind of serious way but just to let them know that he was paying attention, and thought they were worth his time. And as bright as the smiles he gave other people were, they had nothing on the brilliance of the one he seemed to reserve for Cloud. How could Cloud be jealous?

After they'd satisfied their hunger they wandered the streets, talking about anything and everything _but_ SOLDIER. They'd been so tightly focused for so long that it almost felt strange to talk about anything else. Strange, but good.

Passing a hotel, Cloud glanced at it and flushed, remembering things Zack had said in that dark alley weeks ago. They'd found a few rare opportunities to indulge themselves since then, but never in a place where they could safely go further than a furtive handjob. It wasn't really satisfying, and they had hours yet before they had to be back on base.

"Hey, Zack?" Cloud asked softly, his voice a little husky. When his friend looked at him curiously, he tipped his head at the hotel and tried not to blush. "Didn't you say something about your plans the next time we were in the city?"

Looking from the hotel back to Cloud's flushed face, Zack groaned. "Hades, don't tempt me like that," he said, his voice rough as well as heat flared in his eyes. "Believe me, there's nothing I'd like more, but... do you really think that'd leave us in any shape to take the physical exam tomorrow?"

Thinking of various dirty locker-room jokes he'd heard since joining the military, Cloud winced. "No, probably not," he conceded reluctantly. Damn, but now that he'd thought of it his whole body burned with wanting it. He wasn't sure exactly what the appeal to having another guy shove his cock up your ass was supposed to be, but if it was Zack then he was more than willing to try it and find out. And even if it didn't turn out to be all it was cracked up to be, just having an opportunity to take their time and explore each other was pretty much Cloud's idea of heaven right now.

Growling under his breath, Zack grabbed Cloud's arm and yanked him into an alley, behind some crates and garbage bins so they were out of sight of the street. Before Cloud could voice a question or protest, Zack had him up against the wall and was kissing him silly.

"Damn it, don't _look_ at me like that when I'm trying to be virtuous," Zack panted when he finally pulled back. Cloud stared at him, dazed and trying not to think about the last time they'd been in this position. "Tomorrow, once the physical portion is over and we know we've made it, then we'll celebrate," Zack promised him, his eyes darker than usual with lust.

"Sounds good," Cloud gasped, fighting the urge to rock against him. He knew Zack would be hard too, and he also knew that if they started now, they probably wouldn't stop. Getting arrested for indecent exposure while in uniform might well be a black mark on their record that would keep them out of SOLDIER. "Uh, Zack? You'd better let go of me, then."

With a visible effort, Zack stepped back and tugged on the hem of his uniform tunic to straighten it. Cloud ran a hand through the spikes of his hair, checking that they weren't in any more disarray than usual. "Let's go before I jump you again," Zack sighed, turning and leading the way back to the street.

The tension between them was high after that, but they were kind of used to it at this point. If nothing else, it served as a good distraction from thoughts of the exam, and Cloud couldn't resist the urge to walk a little too close so their arms would brush with every step.

As the sun started to make its way down to the horizon, they turned to head back to the base. The results would be up by the time they made it back, and despite his best efforts Cloud's stomach started to tie itself in knots.

"Stop worrying," Zack ordered him as they walked. "Either we made it or we didn't, and worrying about it now won't accomplish anything. Anyway, I'm sure we both made it."

"Easier said than done," Cloud retorted. "How do you just stop worrying about something like this?"

"You distract yourself, which is what we've been doing all afternoon," Zack said, glancing around. "Short of giving in and dragging you to that hotel, though, I'm not sure what else we could... oh, hey, that's _perfect_!"

Following his friend's line of sight, Cloud frowned as he saw a garishly decorated tattoo parlour. "Zack, no," he said, dismayed. "I don't know what crazy idea you have in your head, but we are _not_ getting tattoos."

"Nah, that can wait until after we make it into SOLDIER," Zack teased him, grinning. At least, Cloud _thought_ he was teasing. With Zack, it could be hard to tell. "Something a little less permanent, for the moment. Come on!"

Not giving Cloud any further chance to object, Zack hauled him along into the building. The walls were covered with samples of the tattoo artists' work, and there was a man in a chair getting an addition made to his already heavily tattooed body. Looking around nervously, Cloud wondered just what the hell Zack had in mind.

"Here," the older boy said, leading him to a glass case where little bits of colour gleamed against a black background.

Earrings, Cloud realized. "You want to get our ears pierced?" he asked, stunned. Regulations permitted troopers to wear one small stud, and he'd seen some of the SOLDIERs wearing more elaborate ones, but he'd never really thought about getting one for himself.

"Yeah, sure," Zack nodded. "It's like, a bonding ritual or something. Not that we really need to be much more bonded," he grinned, "but still. You pick one for me, I'll pick one for you."

Studying the case, Cloud thought about it. All things considered, he actually thought Zack would look pretty damn hot with an earring. He couldn't picture one on himself, but he didn't think it would look horrible. "Why not?" he shrugged, and pointed. "That one," he said, indicating a pale amethyst stone set in silver that he thought would look good on his friend.

"Looks good," Zack agreed. "And you're totally getting that sapphire one. It'll match your eyes _and_ your uniform."

"Not that I'm going to be wearing this uniform much longer," Cloud reminded him with more confidence than he felt.

"True enough," Zack laughed. "All right, let's do it." He waved the attendant over.

Cloud watched a little nervously as the woman loaded the sapphire stud into something that looked disturbingly like a gun. "Now, just hold still," she said, swabbing his left earlobe with alcohol. "It'll sting for a second, and then it'll just be a bit of an ache for a few days."

Closing his eyes as she lifted the gun to his ear, Cloud braced himself. There was a snap as the spring-loaded needle pierced his ear, and the promised sharp stinging pain washed over him. The woman lowered the gun, and smiled at him. "There! Perfect," she proclaimed. "Take a look."

Glancing at the indicated mirror, Cloud blinked at his reflection. The sapphire and gold stud actually looked pretty good on him, despite the redness of his ear around it. "My turn!" Zack declared, all but shoving him out of the way.

Cloud was happy to see that Zack flinched a little as the piercing gun went off, too, but when the woman lifted it away the amethyst stud shining there looked good. "I like it," he said, smiling when Zack opened his eyes to grin at him.

"Told you," the older boy said, hopping off the stool they'd used. "Thanks!" he said to the attendant, flipping her a gil piece that was more than enough to cover the charge. "So now that we've got our badges of courage, let's go make sure they didn't accidentally leave our names off the list!"

By the time they reached the base again the pain in Cloud's ear had settled to a tolerable ache, though he couldn't resist reaching up to touch the stud every so often. It felt strange to have it there, but he thought he was glad Zack had talked him into it. At least concentrating on it gave him something to think about other than the exam results.

There was a crowd around the bulletin board when they reached it. Those participating in the exam wanted to know their results, of course, but most of the candidates had support from their units as well. Zack and Cloud had to shove and elbow their way close enough to the front to see the list, and by the time they got there Cloud was shivering with nerves.

"There you are!" Zack crowed, pointing to the top of the list. Cloud's name was third from the top, as the list was organized alphabetically. All the air rushed out of his lungs as he saw it, and was replaced by a giddy feeling of joy. He'd passed!

"And there I am," the older boy finished, his finger dropping to the end of the list and a note of triumph in his voice. "We did it!"

Exuberant as always, he grabbed Cloud around the shoulders and ruffled his hair vigorously. For once Cloud didn't even try to protest, too busy laughing with relief and happiness. The first hurdle had been passed; now all they had to do was get through tomorrow's physical exam.


	13. Chapter 13

If Cloud had actually gotten any sleep the night before, he hadn't been aware of it. As far as he could tell he'd tossed and turned all night long. Even so he felt restless and charged with nervous energy as he, Zack, and the two others from alpha company who'd made it this far headed for the parade ground.

It was still an hour before reveille; their captain had come to wake them early, telling them the SOLDIER candidates were to meet out here. Cloud couldn't imagine what they could possibly be doing at oh-dark-hundred, but he wasn't going to argue.

More yawning examinees wandered in behind them, falling into place in the ranks as they waited for whatever was going to happen. 'Hurry up and wait' really was a truism in the military, Cloud reflected as he tried not to fidget.

Thankfully, for once the brass didn't leave them hanging too long. Fifteen minutes after the last candidate arrived, Heidegger himself led a little trail of junior officers up to the front of the square. Everyone snapped to attention, and Cloud bit his lip in anticipation. This was it.

"Gya ha ha! Congratulations on making it this far," the portly man chortled - there was really no other word for it. Cloud stared in a kind of morbid fascination. He'd never gotten any closer to Heidegger than seeing the man's signature on the paperwork admitting him to the army. _This_ was the head of Shinra's military department?

Well, maybe he was some kind of military genius or something. Surely President Shinra wouldn't have put him in charge of such an important department if he wasn't more competent than he seemed to be.

"This year, we're going to be doing something a little different with the exams," Heidegger continued, sounding much like the proverbial cat that ate the chocobo chick. "Dio, the owner of the new Gold Saucer amusement complex, has graciously offered his facilities to us, gya ha ha! We'll be taking the Highwind to the Western Continent, and the testing will begin once we arrive. Move out!"

The ranks stayed orderly as they marched towards the airship field, but once Heidegger and his subordinates were out of hearing range, soft murmurs broke out among the candidates.

"Oh great, just what I needed. I'll still be recovering from being airsick all the way there by the time the tests start," Cloud groaned.

"You and your motion sickness," Zack said, clearly bemused by the whole thing. "At least you won't have anything to throw up; they haven't said anything about breakfast yet. I'm starving!"

"I wonder where General Sephiroth is?" someone said from their left. "I thought he always at least made an appearance before the physicals, to study the candidates?"

"Maybe he's waiting at Gold Saucer," another man suggested, shrugging. "I've heard about that place. Dio isn't the kind of guy to do anything out of the goodness of his heart, or a sense of civic minded charity. They're probably already laying odds on the outcome of the tests."

"You think they've turned it into a spectator sport?" Cloud asked, startled and dismayed. It wasn't - exactly - that he didn't have confidence in his ability to pass, but he didn't want to make a spectacle of himself for the entertainment of a bunch of strangers, either! And the idea that people would be betting on the outcome of something that was so important and personal to him just didn't sit right with him.

"Want to bet the general's absence is a protest?" Zack said quietly to Cloud alone. "He didn't strike me as the type to appreciate a move like this. He's too dignified."

"Would you _stop_ thinking I'm stupid enough to take bets like that?" Cloud demanded, exasperated. Zack just chuckled softly.

The trip wasn't as bad as he'd expected; they had calm winds the whole way there, and Cloud wasn't as sick as he would have been in a truck or on a boat. Once they'd crossed the ocean, he and several others made their way up to the deck to exclaim and marvel over the tiny scenery below, and that took his mind off it entirely.

Still, he was grateful to be back on solid ground once they reached the Gold Saucer. Even though he hadn't felt like this much of a hick since he'd first arrived in Midgar. He couldn't believe the sheer decadence of the place, not to mention the garish over-the-top quality to everything. There was loud, overly cheerful music playing, flashing lights and neon signs in every direction, and the crowds were unbelievable. Even the method of getting from one place to another was through an odd set of connecting tubes that whisked you along as if you were falling down a slide.

The SOLDIER candidates were led to the section called 'Chocobo Square', which seemed to be designed for chocobo racing events. Once they'd gathered in what appeared to be the jockey's room, crowded in so tight they couldn't even hope to stay in formation, Heidegger addressed them again.

"You will be competing in first an endurance run, then an obstacle course," the fat man informed them. "The race track has a virtual system that can simulate any terrain or environment. In each event, only the top two thirds of participants will be allowed to continue." He smiled, an oily smile that didn't endear him at all to Cloud. "After that, we've got a special event for those remaining, but it's a secret for now! Gya ha ha!"

"It's boot camp final exam all over again," Cloud said, wincing at the thought. Except this was going to be much harder, and there would be hundreds of people watching and _betting_ on him, and he was starting to seriously doubt his sanity for even attempting this.

"No problem," Zack replied confidently, flashing him a grin. "We aced that, didn't we? Despite running into Sephiroth himself. What could be harder than charging the Demon of Wutai, huh?"

"True," Cloud admitted, feeling a little better. Granted, they hadn't exactly fared well in their brief foray against the general, but he doubted even a SOLDIER 1st Class would be able to easily take on Sephiroth. The man was really in a class all by himself.

They were given an opportunity to change into clothing more appropriate for the workout, which was provided for them. Cloud grimaced at the sight of the garishly coloured tunics, each a different colour and printed with a big white number on the front and back. "We're going to look like we're trying to imitate the chocobos," he said in disgust.

"Aw, I think they look pretty snazzy," Zack said, showing his off.

"That's because you got something approaching a reasonable shade of blue!" Cloud replied, waving his own puke-green tunic. Zack just laughed again, and took the opportunity to ruffle his hair while Cloud didn't have room to dodge.

As they gathered at the starting line, Cloud felt his nerves threatening to swallow him. Zack had a much lower number than he did, so the older boy wasn't even nearby to help calm him as they waited for the endurance run to start. "I can do this," he told himself under his breath, trying to psych himself up the same way Zack would have. "It's not like I need him around like some kind of good luck charm. I can do this, and when it's over we'll both be SOLDIERs."

He sounded more confident than he felt, but it was something. The warning buzzer sounded, and he fell into his place in line. There were so many participants they needed three rows of starters, but for such a long race it wouldn't matter in the end whether you started in the front or not.

There was a countdown, then a ringing bell, and Cloud's body started moving before he was even consciously aware the race had started. He tried to pace himself, but the crowd of bodies was still too tight for anyone to set their own pace. That was okay; they would probably be strung out with plenty of space by the time they finished the first of the twenty laps.

Cloud stopped trying to keep track of how many laps had gone by after the third or fourth. The landscape was never the same from one time to the next, and the constant changes were distracting. They ran through fields, over beaches, up and down mountain paths, and even through the vast emptiness of space. The level of reality was unbelievable; Cloud would have sworn he could feel the surf tugging at his ankles as he ran through the edges of the crashing waves.

Here, all the training he'd been doing with Zack started to pay off. There were people passing him, but not so many that Cloud worried he would be in the bottom third. As he settled into his stride, his confidence started to grow. He really could do this.

Zack passed him twice over the course of the race, flashing him a breathless grin and a thumbs up each time. Cloud had expected that; Zack had shot up again over the last month, and his legs were longer than Cloud's. Plus he'd always been better at endurance tests. If anything, the fact that he _only_ went by twice did more for Cloud's confidence than everything else combined.

Finally, as he turned a corner and started down another straight stretch, he saw one of the race officials waving him over. Reluctant to break his stride to find out what the man wanted, but worried that ignoring him would bring trouble, Cloud veered over to where he was standing.

"You're done, kid," the man said, and for an awful moment Cloud thought he'd been disqualified for breaking some unknown rule. Then someone pounced him from behind and pounded him on the back, and he recognized Zack's familiar scent.

"Cloud! We did it!" the older boy shouted, pulling back and shaking him by the shoulders, his grin so bright it could have powered Midgar all by itself.

"I... I made it? It's over?" Cloud gasped, exhaustion starting to set in as his body realized he wasn't moving any more.

"With tonnes of time to spare," Zack confirmed, gleeful. He pointed up at a scoreboard that hung over the area where those already finished were waiting, and Cloud saw a list of names that shifted and changed as runners passed each other. A bit less than half of them were static, with little crowns next to their names to indicate the runners had finished. His was now fifth from the bottom of that section, and Zack's was up in the top five.

"I did it!" Cloud exclaimed, and if he hadn't been so tired he'd have been jumping up and down in excitement. "Zack, I did it!"

"You sure did, kid," his friend agreed. "Too bad we don't have a chance to bet on ourselves, we'd have made a bundle on you. Check out your odds."

Scanning over the rest of the information next to the names of the runners, Cloud scowled as he saw how high the odds against him had been set. "Shows what they know," he grumbled. "As if I'd let you leave me behind."

Knowing better than to stand still after that much effort, Cloud joined Zack in pacing slow, small circles. At least they got the chance to cool down and rest while the stragglers trailed in. Watching the looks on their faces as the last third saw the board and realized they hadn't made it was painful. Some of the younger ones even broke down in tears at the disappointment.

By the time the last candidates had crossed the finish line and the losers had been shuffled off to wait out the rest of the test somewhere, Cloud felt like he was starting to get his breath back. That was good, because they were promptly herded right back to the start line again for the obstacle course.

This time they were lined up according to their finishing times from the last race, but it still meant Cloud was near the back and Zack was at the front. In this race it _did_ make a difference where you started, as the course was much shorter. Cloud resolved to do his best to pull ahead and get into a clear space as soon as possible, because he also had no doubts that there would be surreptitious attempts by some of the candidates to interfere with the other participants.

The bell sounded, and they were off. Almost immediately Cloud realized he wasn't as recovered from the last race as he'd thought he was; his legs felt rubbery and didn't want to do what he was asking of them. They really should have done the obstacles first, and the endurance run second.

Well, to be fair, in the field they wouldn't often be facing battle when they were already fresh and rested. It would come after they'd already tired themselves, and this was probably meant to simulate that. Grimly Cloud dug in and forced his body to do what he wanted, pulling ahead of the back ranks one inch at a time.

He lost ground on strength-based obstacles like rope climbing or going hand-over-hand across a chasm on a pole. Thankfully, he gained it right back again and then some on the agility-based obstacles, his small lithe form an asset for a change. He wasn't sure, but he thought he was somewhere near the middle as he rounded the final bend and the finish line came into sight a hundred yards away.

Then he hit the wall of water, and floundered. The area around him had been changed to look like an underwater scene, but he hadn't actually expected to end up swimming! How did they keep the water from spilling out over the rest of the course?

He hadn't had a chance to take a full breath, and his lungs ached with the need for more air. It took him a moment to realize that he was not, in fact, wet at all; what he was moving through was air that had somehow been made to resist his motions just as if it really was water.

Even so it took him a moment to convince his hindbrain that it really was okay to breathe. The air left his lungs in an explosive gasp, and his body instinctively thrashed as he took in the next gulp of air. It _was_ only air, though, and he had no problems breathing it.

Once he'd convinced his body it was okay, he set to swimming in earnest. Swimming wasn't something he'd had any chance to do in Nibelheim, and he hadn't learned how until after he'd left. His motions were awkward and ungainly, but they got him moving forward. At least, he saw as he risked a glance back, most of the others were having the same problem adjusting to the change in environment that he had.

Kicking and stroking for all he was worth, Cloud approached the finish line. This time he noticed the line that delineated the ocean area, a good ten feet from the finish line. He dove towards the ground, and when he burst free of the 'water' he managed to hit his feet and keep running.

It was all he could do not to collapse as soon as he crossed the line, his stride turning to a stagger. "Did I make it?" he gasped out to no one in particular. He had no doubt Zack would already be there waiting for him, just like before.

"You bet you did," the familiar voice answered, and a hand at his shoulder tugged him into a quick, triumphant embrace. Cloud let himself savour the strong feel of Zack's body against his for just a moment, before they pulled away again. "You had me worried, though. You lost a lot of time adjusting to the water."

Glancing up at the board, Cloud shuddered as he saw that only two lines below his name, there were no crowns next to the names of those who had finished. A few more seconds, and he would have been eliminated.

"But you made it, that's the important thing," Zack forged on, clapping him on the back and nearly sending him sprawling. "Oops! Sorry. Anyway, there's only one thing left. Probably a mission scenario just like in boot camp, and we're sure to ace that." The sight of his excited smile was enough to give Cloud just a little energy back.

"I just want to sit down for a while," the exhausted boy said, shaking his head. "And eat something! I can't believe they made us do all this on an empty stomach!"

"I know, it's gotta be late afternoon," Zack grimaced. "Probably more of the usual 'the enemy won't always give you time to eat' propaganda. Well, it won't kill us, and having a full stomach would probably do us more harm than good."

They were allowed back into the jockey's room, and this time there were few enough of them that they could all take a seat at the table. Looking around, Cloud counted eight other people besides him and Zack. How many people had started out taking the written the day before? At least fifty, maybe more. Small wonder some people tried their whole lives to get into SOLDIER without succeeding.

Heidegger entered, and they all did their best to leap to their feet and snap to attention. Even Zack's movements were sluggish, though; they were all exhausted.

"Gya ha ha! Congratulations," Heidegger said, seeming even more self satisfied than before. It occurred to Cloud to wonder if the fat man had been placing any bets on his candidates. "We've got field rations for you, and you'll be given half an hour to rest and recover before the third test. Eat up!"

The rations were barely edible as usual, but they at least stopped the worst of the empty ache in his stomach. Leaning back in his chair, Cloud closed his eyes and tried to centre himself, ignoring the noise of the others around him.

The next thing he knew Zack was shaking him awake. Groggy, he sat up and rubbed his eyes, looking around in confusion. "Wha..?"

"It's time," Zack told him. There was a tension in the older boy's shoulders and a tightness around his mouth that told Cloud he was nervous too, though anyone who didn't know him as well as Cloud would never have seen it. "Let's go. Just this one last thing, and then we've made it."

"Yeah," Cloud nodded, trying to put conviction into his voice. He could do this. _They_ could do this.

This time they were led, not back out to the race track, but off to another area of the Saucer entirely. 'Battle Square', the sign proclaimed, and as they dragged themselves up a long set of steep stairs Cloud wondered just what they were in for.

There was an older man with impressive muscles, wearing shockingly little to Cloud's small-town sensibilities, waiting for them with Heidegger. "Welcome," he said jovially. "I am Dio, the owner of this establishment. You are the lucky participants in the grand opening of the newest section of Gold Saucer; the Battle Square. Each of you will enter separately, with the equipment provided by your officers. You will face up to eight battles, with a chance to stop after each battle. Since this is a test and you are entering with limited equipment, you will not be assigned a random handicap between each round." He smiled, his teeth flashing far too bright to be natural. "Good luck."

"Gya ha ha!" Heidegger laughed. That sound was really starting to grate on Cloud's nerves. "Each fight you win gives you a certain number of points," he said. "The points increase exponentially with each battle. If you defeat all eight battles, you automatically pass. Otherwise, the top five scoring people will be admitted to SOLDIER; the rest of you will be disqualified. Remember, if you lose then you receive zero points and are automatically disqualified. Gya ha ha!"

Trying to take deep, steady breaths, Cloud looked at Zack. "At least they're not making us fight each other," he said, which had been one of his very real fears. He could face Zack in a sparring match easily enough, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to do it when it meant that one of them losing would mean one of them not making it into SOLDIER.

"Yeah, piece of cake," Zack said confidently. "Just keep an eye on your strength, and tap out as soon as you think you might not get through the next battle. Don't worry about how many points you have; I almost guarantee at least five of these guys will push themselves too far and end up with no points. You'll be fine."

Nodding, Cloud surveyed the others, trying to gauge from their expressions who would be too stubborn to give up when they couldn't be certain of winning the next fight. He couldn't help but wonder what they thought of him. A kid who would wimp out after the first round? Or someone too determined who would end up losing?

Judging by the odds that were already flashing up next to their names on a screen, not many people thought he was going to make it. Scowling, Cloud resisted the urge to make a rude gesture at the screen and turned his attention to the arena.

They were each given a standard issue sword, bracer, five potions and an ether, and their choice of one basic mastered materia. Most people chose one of the three elementals, to give them an offensive magic. Zack picked out a Seal, which Cloud thought was probably smart of him. He would be able to Silence any enemies who tried to cast on him. For himself Cloud finally decided on a Time materia. He could caste Haste on himself at the start of the battle, and then Slow on at least a couple of enemies.

"Oh, just one more thing," Dio said as they filed into the rows of benches set up for spectators around the arena. There was already a crowd waiting, but a small area had been set aside for them. Heidegger went off to join another man who, Cloud realized after a startled moment, matched the portrait on the back of a gil piece. President Shinra himself.

"The battle arena opponents are not ordinary people," Dio continued cheerfully. "We have carefully captured and trained dozens of the new monsters appearing around the world." There was an alarmed murmur among the candidates, and Cloud's eyes went wide. Monsters? They were going to be fighting monsters? People could at least be counted on to stop fighting if you lost the battle and collapsed. What would stop losers here from being ravaged by the monsters before anyone could stop them?

"They're really playing it up, aren't they," Zack murmured, glancing around at the cheering crowd. "Still no sign of Sephiroth, or any other SOLDIERs for that matter. This is going to be interesting."

"At least we get a bit of a chance to see what we're up against," Cloud said, pointing at the scoreboard. They were apparently being alternated; first the lowest score from the last race would go, then Zack as the top score, then Cloud as the second lowest, and so on. "Not much time, but some."

"I guess they want to make sure there are enough interesting fights sprinkled in to keep the crowd's interest," Zack nodded. "Well, we won't have to wait long, anyway!"

The first contestant was summoned out of the stands, and walked down to the area floor with his hand clenched around his sword. It was one of the civilians, and he looked scared half out of his mind. Feeling a little more sympathetic to him, Cloud figured he'd probably never been in a real fight before in his life. He almost certainly wouldn't have faced any of these monsters before. Maybe the whole mess in Mideel would turn out to have been a blessing in disguise.

The first battle was, in fact, three of the same bats they'd faced there. The civilian clearly panicked as the first one swooped down on them, swinging his sword with more fear than finesse. After a gruelling minute or so he managed to kill the last of the bats, but when the referee asked if he wanted to continue to the second fight, he shook his head frantically.

"I wonder if civilians ever make it?" Cloud wondered aloud, watching as the shaken man staggered out of the arena. He wasn't disqualified, but having gotten through only one fight he was almost guaranteed to fail.

"Probably, or they wouldn't let them keep taking the exams," Zack said, shrugging as he stood. "Wish me luck!"

"You don't need it," Cloud asserted, and got a flash of a grin in return.

"That's the spirit! Neither do you." Zack ruffled his hair, which this once Cloud allowed without trying to get out of it, and then the older boy was bounding gracefully down the steps to the arena.

It felt like his heart was pounding in his throat as he watched Zack walk to the centre of the square and wait, his sword held ready and a casual expression on his face. Cloud wasn't close enough to get a good look at his friend's eyes, but he was certain they would be blazing with a determination that would put the lie to his expression.

This time the first monster looked like nothing so much as a walking house, and it very nearly ended the battle with its first attack as the dark-haired boy stood staring at it with a dumbfounded look. Once Zack managed to wrap his mind around the fact that yes, a _house_ was attacking him, he was able to cut it down with only a few attacks.

Next up were the bats, and Cloud had to grin as Zack took care of them without so much as blinking, dodging their attacks with the ease of practice. He went on to the third round still without a mark on him.

After that, things got tougher. There were dragons and wolves, plants and insects, even things Cloud couldn't even begin to figure out what they were supposed to be. Zack started using the Seal judiciously, putting the toughest opponent in a group to sleep while he took care of the rest. Even so he was taking damage, and Cloud mentally ticked off each of the potions as he saw his friend drink it.

Going into the seventh battle, Zack had only one potion left and he'd used up his ether. He was clearly tiring, his reactions slowed considerably and the sword drooping in the air like it was too heavy for him to hold up. He'd been poisoned at some point, and the extra drain on his energy was started to show.

The seventh fight was against one of the red dragons they'd seen in the lab and in Mideel, and Cloud winced as he remembered the way the trooper's sword had glanced right off the monster's tough scales. Zack could have shot it in the eye or the mouth easily enough, but with a sword he was almost helpless against it. And it could fry him in a heartbeat, before anybody would be able to stop it.

Panting, Zack threw out his off hand and used the last of his magical energy to cast Sleep once more. Cloud wasn't sure what that was going to accomplish, since the first physical attack would wake the creature, but maybe Zack was planning to position himself so he could stab it in the eye or something.

Unfortunately the spell failed, and Cloud's hands clenched so hard on the edge of his seat he was afraid the wood might splinter. Holding his breath, he watched as Zack regrouped and evaluated his chances... and charged with a fierce yell.

The dragon roared, but thank Odin did _not_ breathe flame at the attacking boy. It swiped at him instead, its claws catching Zack squarely in the side and raking deep furrows in his torso. Staggering, the boy swung his sword in a desperate move, and Cloud squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't bear to watch the weapon skitter off the scales, and the dragon tear Zack to pieces.

Instead there was another roar, a pained one this time, and a spontaneous cheer from the audience. Daring to look, Cloud peeked through his fingers and saw Zack standing triumphant over the thrashing and dying dragon, his sword dripping with thick, dark blood. Shaking, Zack fumbled with his last potion and nearly dropped it, but finally managed to swallow it.

He set his sword tip against the cobbled floor of the arena and leaned against it as the referee approached him once more. "One more fight to go," the man said. "Are you in?"

Glancing up at the scoreboard for a long moment, Zack seemed to consider it. One more win would guarantee him entry to SOLDIER... but a loss would disqualify him. Slowly, he shook his head. "No," he rasped, coughing and spitting a bit of blood. "I'm out. Knowing when to make a strategic retreat is important too, right?" He grinned, and the audience cheered, while Cloud's heartbeat slowly returned to something approaching normal. Zack had made it, for sure.

Then his heart sped right back up again as he realized that meant it was his turn. Trying hard not to let his nerves show, he made his way down to the arena.

"You can do it," Zack cheered him on hoarsely as they passed in the aisle. "I'll be cheering you louder than anyone else."

Giving him a smile that he hoped didn't look as sickly as it felt, Cloud nodded once. Then he was past, and the only thing in front of him was the empty arena.

Bracing himself, he stepped out into the centre and drew his sword. Although he was part of the rifle corps, anyone who intended to try for SOLDIER practiced obsessively with the sword. The feel of the hilt in his hand was comforting and familiar, and he felt himself calming just a little bit. Zack had done his part; now it was up to Cloud to follow suit.

The first opponent was a pair of slug-like creatures. One of them spun a cocoon of silk around Cloud before he could even try to use his Haste spell, and the entangling threads made it hard to move quickly. Deciding there was no point in Hasting himself if he was just going to be slowed down by this crap anyway, Cloud attacked instead. The slugs were surprisingly easy to kill, and the relatively easy victory did a lot to boost his morale.

He nodded to show that he was willing to continue, struggling to get free of the sticky threads. Two of the wolves prowled out of the tunnel that led to the cages just as he shook the last of it off, and he quickly cast the Haste. The spell seemed to slow down everything around him rather than speeding him up; Cloud had used it a few times in the past and he always loved the feel of it. His accelerated reflexes allowed him to deal with the wolves without taking more than one minor bite to the shoulder and another to his forearm.

Nodding again, he grabbed for one of his potions and drank it quickly to take the worst of the sting out of his wounds. The next group of creatures to come forward consisted of two flying creatures that looked like birds with no feathers, and an odd little round porcupine-like animal.

Deciding to get the easiest thing out of the way first, Cloud attacked the porcupine. He had to duck and dodge diving attacks from the birds as he slashed at the ground-bound monster, but it didn't take much to finish it off. To his surprise, though, when he finally ran it through, it didn't just collapse like the other monsters had. It actually vanished, fading away and leaving his blade untouched.

 _Something_ dropped down over him, and it wasn't the birds. Cloud suddenly felt a wave of despair crash through him, and it was a struggle to move through the intense feeling of impending doom. It had to be some sort of spell, he realized as he slashed at the wing of one of the birds. He took a moment to drink another potion, hoping that would help, but the sense of approaching disaster increased with every moment that went by.

He attacked the birds again, trying to concentrate on them rather than the choking despair. He hacked the wing off one of them and ran it through when it fell, and it stayed properly dead like it was supposed to. His breath coming short in his chest, he turned on the last one.

Duck, parry, dodge, slash, parry again, stab. The bird was fast, but Cloud had the power of desperation behind him. He had to win this fight. If the spell didn't end after the bird was dead and he still felt this bad, he could opt out of the next fight and keep the points he already had, but if he lost here then he was finished.

A lucky thrust stabbed into the bird, and it squawked and flapped helplessly, spitted on Cloud's sword. He had just a split second to enjoy the feeling of triumph, before 'impending' suddenly became 'immediate', and the whole world turned to black.


	14. Chapter 14

The darkness around him was comforting, like a warm blanket you could snuggle into when it was cold enough to make your breath frost. He could have stayed there for hours, maybe forever, and been happy.

Something was nagging at him, though. A sense that he'd left something undone, something important. He couldn't finish it without leaving the darkness, so despite his reluctance he forced himself out of it.

It wasn't until light struck him and made him blink that he realized the reason everything had been dark was that he'd had his eyes closed. Dazed, he squinted against the harsh brightness and trailed his gaze over his surroundings. Bed, dresser, another bed, a chair, Zack, a door...

Zack! Realization hit him like a Bolt 3 spell, and he wrenched himself up to a sitting position with a gasp. "Did I kill it? Did it count?"

"Hades!" Zack yelped, dropping the book he'd been reading and jerking half out of the chair with surprise. Staring back at Cloud with overly wide eyes, the dark-haired boy visibly tried to calm himself. "Don't scare me like that, Cloud! I thought you were still asleep."

Impatient with trivialities, Cloud gestured sharply with one hand and winced as the motion pulled at sore muscles. "Never mind that. _Did it count?_ "

Sighing, Zack unfolded himself from the chair, raking a hand through his hair. "I don't know," he admitted as he walked over to sit on the edge of the bed. "It was a mutual knockout, essentially. They were still debating it when the medics brought you up here to sleep it off. Said that would be better for you than forcing you awake with a spell or a phoenix down."

Fists clenching in the sheets, Cloud looked back at him with his heart in his mouth. "Then... then I might have failed?" At that moment he realized that although he'd been nervous, some part of him had always been sure he would pass. That part of him had been fuelled largely by Zack's continued lack of any doubt that Cloud would be with him in SOLDIER, and the mere idea that he might not be was enough to make him want to scream.

"Whoa, hey, take it easy," Zack said soothingly, resting his hands on Cloud's shoulders to help steady him. "We don't know yet. Just calm down, okay? I don't want you knocking yourself back out again. Here," he handed Cloud a familiar little bottle, and Cloud blinked at it. "I got it off the first guy, the one who left after his first round," Zack said in response to the younger boy's bewildered expression. "Resting should have put you back good as new, but just in case. You didn't sleep as long as they said you should."

Uncorking it, Cloud drank it down without even really tasting it. It didn't seem to make much difference, though when he moved again he noted he wasn't quite as sore as he had been before.

Once he was satisfied that Cloud wasn't about to collapse on him, Zack nodded and stood. "Come on," he said, offering the younger boy his hand. "They've probably posted the results by now. I didn't want to leave you to find out."

Despite himself, Cloud couldn't help a brief moment of uncharitable bitterness. Of course Zack hadn't been frantic to see the results; he was almost guaranteed to have made it in. Shaking it off, Cloud took his friend's hand and scrambled out of the bed.

Instead of letting go, though, Zack tugged him in close and kissed him fiercely. "I've wanted to do that since the endurance run," he said when he pulled away, smiling down at Cloud. "You are amazing, you know that?"

Normally Cloud would have leaned in and luxuriated in the rare opportunity to be able to touch the older boy without fear, but at the moment there was only one thing his mind could focus on. Celebratory kisses could wait until he knew for sure they had something to celebrate.

"The _results_ , Zack!" he said urgently. Nodding, Zack released him and followed him to the door.

It didn't take him long to realize he must have been brought to whatever hotel serviced the patrons of the Gold Saucer. The lobby was crowded with guests as they came down the curving stairs, most of them talking loudly and gesturing at a television screen mounted on the wall.

By the time they were halfway down the stairs, Cloud could see what was on the screen as well. He froze, his knees threatening to give way beneath him, as the impact of it hit him. They were showing replays of the highlights of the races and the battles, but beneath that there was a scrolling marquee that showed the results of the top ten candidates and the odds placed on them. His was the second to scroll by as he watched, and it was written not in the bright mako green they'd highlighted the winners with, but in a dark blood red.

Failed. He'd failed. All the effort, all the studying, all the pain and fear and struggle... all for nothing. He'd failed.

"Cloud..." Sounding like he didn't know quite what to say, Zack put his hands on Cloud's shoulders from behind. Probably bracing him, just in case the younger boy really did collapse.

"I... I didn't make it?" Cloud whispered, the words disbelieving. As he watched the list came to the end before looping back to the beginning, and Zack's name went by in gold rather than green. First place, Cloud realized when he saw the little crown next to his friend's name. Zack had been the top scoring candidate.

And Cloud had failed.

"Look, do you even realize how amazingly well you did?" Zack was saying, his words hardly registering in Cloud's fevered brain. "Out of fifty candidates, you're one of only ten who made it to the finals."

"But I failed," Cloud repeated, in shock. What difference did it make how far he'd made it, if he didn't make it all the way? It wasn't like there was any kind of consolation prize. He stifled a hysterical laugh at the very idea. Here, you didn't make it into SOLDIER, but have a ribbon to show you made it this far.

"Cloud, you're barely fifteen," Zack said, trying for reason. "They don't let you into the army until you're sixteen for a reason, you know. Any younger than that and your body is still developing, not strong enough yet for what they ask of it. Odin's blood, other than Sephiroth I think I might be the first person to make it into SOLDIER younger than eighteen. If you did this well _now_ , just wait until next year. You'll be the top score for sure."

Some part of that managed to register with Cloud, but it probably wasn't the part Zack had been hoping for. "You..." he said, panic and disbelief slowly curdling into anger inside him. "All this time, for months, you've been telling me over and over that you knew I could do it. And you were _lying_?"

"What?" Blinking, Zack shook his head. "Hey, no, wait, that's not what I..."

"You never believed I could do it!" Cloud shouted, uncaring that he was making a scene and drawing the attention of the crowd below them. In his pain and fury and shame he lashed out at the nearest target, unwilling and unable to listen to comforting platitudes. "You _bastard_! Were you laughing at me the whole time, or did it just make you feel good to be able to look at me and know you were that much better than me?"

"Cloud!" Now looking more than a little hurt himself, Zack frowned at him. "You know that isn't..."

"Shut up!" Cloud yelled, tears forming in his eyes and making Zack's image waver. Suddenly he was desperate to get out of there before he started crying in front of everyone, in front of Zack. "Shut up! Just leave me alone! Go... go celebrate with the rest of them. Congratulations." He spat the last word more like a curse.

Turning, he bolted back up the stairs. All he wanted was to get away; away from Zack and his triumph, away from the crowd and their smirks or laughter, away from his own overwhelming shame. The latter wasn't possible, but at least he could manage the first two.

"Cloud! Hey, don't... Cloud!" Zack called after him, but desperation lent wings to Cloud's feet, and he quickly outpaced the older boy's voice.

He slammed back into the room they'd just left, locking the door behind him and leaning against it. Tears ran freely down his face, though he stifled his sobs as best he could. He remembered the way the people who finished too late in the races had looked, and suddenly he had all the sympathy in the world for them. He couldn't imagine how they'd restrained themselves from killing everyone who had passed and left them behind.

"Cloud!" Zack rattled the doorknob, then pounded on the door hard enough to make it vibrate against Cloud's back. "Come on, don't be like this. Let me in. Please?"

Frantic, unable to face the thought of having to deal with Zack and pretend that he wasn't horribly jealous of the older boy's success and hurt by his friend's true lack of belief in him, Cloud scanned the room for a hiding place. In the closet and under the beds were both far too obvious, but the window at the far side of the room caught his eye.

Darting over, he threw open the window and looked outside. There was a three-story drop to the base of the building, and a steep hill down from there. Heights had never bothered him; he'd been born and raised on a mountain, after all.

Scrambling out the window, he hung from the sill by the fingers of one hand while he shut the window again with the other. He had few illusions about Zack's ability to get into the room if he was really determined, and he was hoping the older boy would waste time searching for him inside.

Climbing down the outside wall was easy enough, and shortly Cloud was on the ground and running. It took him a moment to realize that the transport tubes had been disguised as grave markers, but he picked one at random and jumped in.

He emerged to find himself in what seemed to be an amusement park. Well, the whole Saucer was one big amusement park, but this area fit the more traditional definition of one. Dominating the landscape was a roller coaster, the wooden framework towering over everything else.

Like a carrier pigeon instinctively homing in on his roost, Cloud headed straight for the coaster. He dodged the security around it easily enough, concentrating on that so he wouldn't have to think about how devastated he was by the exam results and Zack's betrayal. When he reached the base of the tallest part of the track, he started to climb.

He knew he shouldn't be out here, that Shinra would probably be gathering up the exam participants soon and heading back to Midgar. If he wasn't there he'd be listed as AWOL, and that was a black mark on his record he didn't need.

At that moment, he found he really didn't care. He'd failed the SOLDIER exam. What difference did a black mark make? He would never achieve his dream, no matter how spotless his record was. He wasn't even sure he _wanted_ to go back, to have to face everyone in his platoon and company, and tell them he'd failed. He wasn't sure who would be harder to deal with: the ones who pitied him, or the ones who were smug.

And worse, to have to go back and watch Zack pack his things and head off for SOLDIER training. Except for the first few miserable days of boot camp, and that far more horrid week in Mideel, Cloud had never been far from Zack's side. They were something of an inseparable unit in the minds of their fellow troopers; he'd heard more than one person refer to 'ZackandCloud' as if they were one entity. Now that would change; he and Zack would be living in entirely different worlds.

Reaching the last crossbeam before the track itself, Cloud paused and took stock of the area, panting for breath and still struggling against sobs. The whole structure rattled every time the car went by overhead, and he could hear the screams of the riders clearly as they plunged down over the other side of the hill, but the beams were wide enough for him to curl up on one with his back against a support.

There, finally, he gave in to his pain. He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in them, wrapping his arms around them to hold them close. And he cried like he hadn't since the days when Tifa had been in a coma and nobody knew if she would wake, and everyone had blamed him. Harder, maybe.

He'd been focused so hard and for so long on making SOLDIER that he'd never even really considered what he might do if he didn't get in. How could he ever go home and admit that he'd failed? He'd never be able to look Tifa in the eyes again, let alone all the other people who'd always scorned him. He would only be proving that they had been right when they'd predicted he would never make anything of himself.

Shoulders wracked with sobs, he sat there curled in a ball and tried to decide what to do. None of his options seemed appealing; his dream had been crushed, his best friend had turned out to have doubted him all along, and he couldn't even go home.

"Cloud." So lost was he in his misery, Cloud didn't even jump at the sound of the familiar voice or the hesitant touch on his shoulder. "Cloud. Look at me, please?"

Belatedly realizing Zack had somehow found him, Cloud scrubbed at his face with the back of one hand. "Go away," he said, trying to sound fierce and only managing miserable. "Just... just go away, Zack. I don't want to see you right now." Him or anyone else, but especially him.

"Cloud, I wasn't lying when I said I knew you would make it into SOLDIER," Zack said firmly, swinging himself up to sit on the other side of the support Cloud was leaning against. He kept his hand on the younger boy's shoulder, squeezing in a way that was probably meant to be reassuring.

"Then why did you say all that, about me being a kid?" Cloud spat at him, turning his head far enough to glare. "You condescending bastard, you never expected me to be able to pass!"

"I knew the odds were low, but I figured if anybody could beat the odds, it would be you," Zack countered, his gaze level. "I still believe it."

"I _failed_ , Zack," Cloud grated out, shaking his head. "There are no more chances. The odds beat me. There's nothing to believe in."

Now Zack lifted his hand, but it was only to smack Cloud across the back of the head hard enough to sting. "Now you're just being self-pitying," the older boy said, though his voice was still gentle. "It's not like there will never be another SOLDIER exam held again, you know. Most people don't make it the first time. Did you give up when you got to Midgar and they told you that you were too young? Hell, no. You told them to go fuck themselves, and you stuck it out until you got what you wanted. And now you're going to just give up and slink home with your tail between your legs because you lost once?"

"It's not the same!" Cloud half shouted, his voice cracking with strain. Lifting his head, he snarled. "It's not at all the same! Don't you get it? We were supposed to go _together_! Now that's gone. We'll be separated, we'll probably never even see each other, and... and..." His voice broke again, on a sob this time.

Shifting so he was straddling the beam, Zack moved forward until his chest was pressed against the support beam, and wrapped his arms around both it and Cloud. "I will _not_ leave you behind," Zack promised fiercely. "I'm just paving the way for you. We won't see each other as often, that's true. And believe me, I hate the thought of it. But it's only for a year, maybe two at most. Then we'll be SOLDIERs together, running around having adventures and being heroes and becoming as famous as General Sephiroth. You'll see."

"You're an idiot," Cloud said, but there was no heat in his words. "You'll forget all about me. I'll just be that kid in your unit from before you were a SOLDIER."

"I will _not_ ," Zack shook his head. "I will never forget you, Cloud. You're my best friend. The best friend I've ever had." He made a frustrated sound, and shoved at Cloud's shoulders. "Move. I want to hold you, not this stupid post."

Reluctantly Cloud shifted forward, and Zack carefully swung over to his beam, settling in straddling it with his back against the post. "How did you find me?" Cloud asked as Zack tugged him back again, until he was leaning against the older boy's strong chest with Zack's arms around him.

"You have a habit of heading for the high ground whenever you're upset," Zack said, shrugging. "Must be the mountain boy in you. Me, I go looking for a tree to climb. Not many of those around Midgar, so you've got the advantage there. But I just checked the highest spot in every area until I saw you up here."

Zack really knew him far too well. A fresh pain stung Cloud as he was reminded that Zack wouldn't be around enough to know when Cloud was upset any more. "It's not fair," he choked out, shaking his head. "I'm losing my dream and my best friend at the same time."

"Stop that," Zack smacked him on the head again, harder this time. "Your dream is only delayed, and you're certainly not losing me. It'll just be a little harder for us to find time together. We'll still have leave, and off-duty hours. If one of us had been transferred to another unit, would you have just given up and decided you would never see me again?"

Cloud wanted to protest again that it was different, but... it wasn't, really. It was just an extreme case. "You swear you really believe I can do it?" he asked, not entirely mollified on the issue of Zack's attempt to 'comfort' him on his loss earlier.

"May Odin strike me down if I lie," Zack promised solemnly. "There is not a doubt in my mind that you are 1st Class material. Provided, of course, that you get your head out of your ass and don't stop trying just because you feel sorry for yourself!"

Sighing, Cloud turned sideways and let his legs dangle over one side of the beam, tucking his head under Zack's and wrapping his arms around the older boy in turn. "Aren't we going to get in trouble for being out here?" he asked, not willing to apologize for his earlier behaviour. All things considered, he thought he'd earned a tantrum or two.

"Nah. Well, I might, but I don't want to have to sit around and smile through a million congratulations ceremonies anyway." Zack shrugged, the muscles of his shoulder rippling under Cloud's cheek. "Dio gave the ten finalists and the officers a free night's stay here. They've already shipped everyone else back to Midgar, but that was actually our room you snuck out of. Unfortunately we've got a roommate, or I'd totally suggest heading back there and seeing what it feels like to make out on a bed for once."

For once, Cloud honestly wasn't sure he was in the mood for messing around. There was still too much emotional turmoil twisting him up inside.

Then again, maybe it would get his mind off everything. Screwing around with Zack had always been guaranteed to distract him in the past. Without warning, he lifted his head and caught Zack's lips with his, kissing the other boy with a fierceness that was more desperation than passion.

It seemed like Zack understood, because he didn't resist or try to protest the precariousness of their position. He just kissed back, running his hands slowly over Cloud's shoulders, urging him closer still. It had been an emotionally charged day, and Cloud felt the heat between them build faster than ever before.

"Zack," he gasped when the older boy pulled back enough to trail his mouth over Cloud's neck. "Please... oh please. Make me stop thinking about it." It still hurt too much, the wound was still too fresh, no matter how many assurances Zack tried to give him. If he could lose himself for a while, maybe it wouldn't be so raw afterwards.

"Fuck, Cloud," Zack groaned, dropping his hands to the younger boy's hips and holding him tight. "Shit, I want you so bad. Damn it, why couldn't they assign us two to a room?" He nipped at Cloud's neck, making the blonde shiver.

"At least we don't have to worry about anyone walking in on us," Zack muttered, the fingers of one hand slowly tracing their way around Cloud's waistband. They were both still wearing their clothes from the tests, the horribly coloured shirts looking even more garish under the artificial lights in Gold Saucer's 'night'.

Squirming, Cloud shook his head and fumbled to get under Zack's tunic as well. "Just touch me," he demanded, pleaded. "Make it good. Please."

"Yes, sir," Zack replied with an irreverent grin, and dipped his fingers beneath Cloud's waistband. The younger boy was still only a little hard, too tired and wrung-out to respond as fast as usually did to Zack's touch. Not seeming to mind, Zack stroked him slowly, teasing him to life as Cloud panted in his arms.

"These pants have got to go," Zack said decisively as he tried to work his hand in further and couldn't. "Think you can get them down without falling off the beam?"

It took some cautious manoeuvring, but somehow they managed to get Cloud's pants off without either of them falling, or losing the pants. Zack reached back and draped the fabric over the beam he'd been sitting on earlier, then tugged Cloud towards him again. "Here, swing your leg over so you're straddling it too," he said, tapping Cloud's thigh.

"I'm going to get splinters up my ass," Cloud said dubiously, shifting cautiously. Grinning, Zack shook his head.

"Can't have that," the older boy agreed. "Swing your leg over."

Cloud obeyed, and as he did Zack grabbed him by the hips and lifted him. He found himself pressed chest to chest with the older boy, his legs draped over Zack's thighs in a way that left him embarrassingly spread open. He didn't touch the beam at all; he was literally sitting in Zack's lap.

From there he could feel it every time Zack breathed or shifted, and more importantly he could feel Zack's hard length pressed up against him through the older boy's pants. "Shouldn't we have gotten your pants off first?" Cloud asked with a groan.

He yelped when Zack ran his hand down over Cloud's ass and the older boy's fingers brushed over his hole. "Zack?" he asked breathlessly.

"I'm sure I don't need to ask, but you're not afraid of heights right?" Zack asked him idly, his eyes alight with the look Cloud had come to recognize as a sign that his friend was about to propose something wild. "Do you trust me?"

"Usually, but it makes me nervous when you feel the need to ask," Cloud replied warily, squirming as Zack rubbed a finger over him again. It was an odd sensation, pressure in a place that didn't normally get much in the way of stimulation. When Zack carefully pushed just the tip of his finger inside, Cloud gasped and shuddered. It felt _weird_ , but not entirely unpleasant.

"I was hoping we'd find a way to slip off and celebrate, so I came prepared," Zack murmured into his skin, the words almost lost as another set of cars went rattling by overhead. He was fumbling with something in his other hand, and made a frustrated noise as he almost dropped it. "Damn it. Help me, will you?"

"What..." Cloud reached out and took the small object from him, and his eyes widened as he read the label on the small tube. "Zack... you can't be serious. _Here?_ "

Zack just grinned at him, the expression tinged with more than a little frustrated lust. "We'll see how far we get. Odin only knows when we'll get another chance, at this rate. Don't you want to?"

There was something of a thrill to it, Cloud had to admit. One wrong move and they could go tumbling down off the beam to fall a very, _very_ long way. Anyone could look up here and spot them, though they were probably high enough to be unrecognizable.

Well, he'd wanted a distraction. This definitely qualified. Unscrewing the cap Zack had been struggling with, Cloud squeezed some of the cool oil out onto Zack's outstretched fingers. He braced himself as the older boy slipped his hand back around and under Cloud's body, and gasped as he felt strong fingers smoothing the oil onto and around his hole.

"Relax," Zack murmured, kissing him gently and supporting him with his other hand cupped over Cloud's ass. "Don't tense up, I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm trying not to," Cloud said through gritted teeth as he took deep breaths in an attempt to relax. He hissed as Zack slid one oiled finger inside him, and with the lubrication this time the sensation was more pleasurable. Still weird as hell, but an intriguing sort of weird.

Zack kissed him again to distract him as he worked a second finger inside Cloud. Now the stretching sensation burned a little, but Cloud had more or less expected that. He'd gone a bit soft again, but he rocked forward to rub himself against Zack's stomach. The motion reminded him that Zack was still fully dressed, his straining cock trapped by the fabric of his pants. Reaching down, Cloud worked to free him.

To his surprise, Zack withdrew his fingers and caught Cloud's hand, shaking his head. "You touch me now, and I'm done," the older boy said, a rare blush staining his cheeks. "The way you looked just now... it's too much."

"You don't want to be, you know... inside me?" Cloud asked, feeling suddenly awkward. They'd never really _talked_ about it, not in detail. Just general statements like 'I want you' or even 'I want to fuck you'. It wasn't an easy subject to discuss, especially since they tended to spend their few moments of privacy messing around rather than talking.

"More than you can imagine," Zack groaned, rocking up against him slightly. He returned his fingers to Cloud's ass, pushing inside him slowly and curling them to rub against Cloud's insides.

"Then what are you waiting for, an order from the general himself?" Cloud demanded, his impatient words covering the nervousness he still felt. He reached down again and rubbed Zack through his pants, and this time the older boy didn't try to stop him.

"Cloud," Zack gasped, thrusting up against his hand. "Fuck, Cloud. Oh, _fuck_." Something Cloud did must have felt particularly good, because his whole body tensed and shivered. Inside Cloud, his fingers curled again, and this time the motion sent a wave of fire and lightning shivering over the younger boy.

"Shit!" Cloud exclaimed, throwing his head back, startled. "What was that?"

"That would be the reason it's not just the guys on top who keep coming back for more," Zack said with a grin that was only a little shaky. "You liked that?" He did it again, and got an incoherent groan from Cloud this time in response.

"Do it, Zack," Cloud said, his voice low and intense. "Do it, fuck me. Please." Maybe if they could get as close as it was humanly possible to be, he would stop feeling like he was about to lose Zack forever.

Fumbling, he freed Zack's cock from the prison of his pants, and poured more of the oil over him. He used his hand to slick the cool fluid down over Zack's length, and discovered he liked the easy way his hand was able to move over the heated flesh. "We should use this stuff more often," he said. "Not just for this."

"Yeah," Zack agreed, shivering again. "Here, you'll have to lift yourself up, then come down on me."

When Cloud had pictured them doing this, it had usually been in a hotel on a bed and there had been nothing awkward or ungainly about it. Trying to move him so Zack could press inside him was a bit of an exercise in frustration in comparison.

Finally Zack managed to tug his hips into the right place, with Cloud holding the post above Zack's head to keep himself high enough. Zack's cock rubbed against him, and a little tendril of panic and apprehension wound through Cloud. That felt a lot bigger and harder than Zack's fingers had been. This was going to hurt.

"Relax," Zack admonished him when he tensed up, his voice thin with strain. "It's okay. Just relax."

"Just... just do it," Cloud panted. He figured it was kind of like taking a bandage off; you could do it slow and torture yourself, or you could do it fast and get it over with.

Zack seemed determined to do it the slow way, though, easing Cloud down over him as his cock felt like it was literally tearing Cloud in half. Gritting his teeth, Cloud ignored Zack's guiding hands on his hips and shoved himself down. He was the one with all the leverage in this position; there was nothing Zack could do to stop him.

A pained cry escaped him despite his best efforts, and Cloud came to rest shivering against Zack's chest. He felt like his ass was on fire, and it wasn't the sort of mind-blowing pleasurable fire he usually felt when messing around with Zack.

"Shit, Cloud!" Zack sounded dismayed, holding him tight and not letting him move further. "Damn it! What'd you do that for?"

"Give me a second," Cloud gasped. "Let me adjust." If he could adjust. It was like trying to work through the pain of a wound so you could keep fighting; you just gritted your teeth and rode out the waves of agony until you could ignore it a little.

He wasn't really paying attention to what Zack was doing, so he was startled when a warm hand closed around his now mostly limp cock. Zack's hand was still slick from the oil, and the feel of it stroking over him would have been unbelievable if Cloud hadn't been distracted by pain. They were definitely going to have to put that stuff to good use in the future, but he wasn't so sure he wanted to do _this_ again.

Refusing to give up until Cloud was hard again, Zack kept stroking and rubbing his cock. Cloud could feel the way his friend's body was shaking with the effort of restraining himself; clearly the experience was more than just 'good' for Zack.

Only when Cloud was mostly hard again did Zack finally give in and rock his hips upward. The worst of the pain had faded, Cloud realized; he still felt stretched to the point of breaking, and the movement burned a bit, but it wasn't agonizing. He let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and relaxed a little, and that helped more. Zack was still stroking him, and the position they were in meant he couldn't thrust much. Overall, it wasn't as bad as Cloud had thought it was at first.

"Damn it, I have no leverage," Zack muttered, panting into Cloud's shoulder as he continued to rock upwards. "Cloud..."

Deciding at least one of them ought to get something good out of this, Cloud tensed his legs and lifted himself up a few inches, dropping back down again. The movement drew a gasp from Zack and nearly wrenched a startled scream from Cloud; whatever it was Zack had been touching inside him earlier, the angle of their position meant his cock was rubbing over it if he moved far enough.

"Do that again," Zack pleaded, his other hand clenching on Cloud's hip, and Cloud obeyed. He lifted himself further this time, and when he dropped back down the shocking wave of heat and pleasure was almost enough to make him forget about the pain. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

They settled into a rhythm, the thrusts becoming faster and deeper as Cloud's body started to respond at last. Zack stroked him in time to their motion, and before too long Cloud forgot about hesitating and threw himself into it with abandon.

Tension began to coil deep inside Cloud's body in a familiar way, but stronger and more intense than he was used to. If messing around with Zack was a hundred times better than just jerking off by himself, this was a hundred times better still. Cloud was crying out with every thrust now, leaning back against Zack's supporting hand to try to get more pressure against that amazing place inside him.

At first he thought the bursts of colour and noise that flared across his vision were just a reaction of his body to reaching orgasm, but then he realized the tension inside him hadn't snapped yet. "Fireworks," Zack said, strangled laughter in his voice. "That's... way too... appropriate... oh fuck, Cloud..."

Panting, Cloud threw his head back. His legs were getting tired; he wasn't going to be able to keep this up much longer. With an effort he lifted himself until Zack was almost entirely out of him and thrust himself back down again, as Zack rubbed his thumb over the tip of Cloud's cock.

It was enough, and Cloud's whole body convulsed as he came hard. He shouted, glad the sound was lost in the noise of the roller coaster and the booming of the fireworks. He'd never felt anything this intense in his life.

His body clenched down around Zack, but he didn't have the strength or coordination to lift himself again. Zack rocked up into him as hard as he could manage in their awkward position, groaning wantonly into Cloud's shoulder as he shuddered. As Cloud began to recover from his intense orgasm, Zack lost his rhythm and cried out sharply, stilling as he came hard. Cloud imagined he could almost feel it inside him.

They sat there like that for what seemed like a long time, neither of them really wanting to move and break the spell of drowsy contentment that had fallen over them. Cloud forgot to feel exposed, and more importantly he forgot to be hurt by or ashamed of his earlier failure. All he could think about was the way Zack felt against him and in him, and how much better this would probably be in a bed.

Though there was something to be said for the thrill of danger, Cloud admitted as he glanced over Zack's shoulder and down to the ground far away.

The fireworks were still going off, beautiful bursts of colour against the sky. "You want to get back?" Zack asked as he finally pulled away from Cloud.

Wincing as Zack's withdrawal reminded him that he was more than a little sore down there, Cloud shook his head. "Not really," he muttered, trying to hang onto that dazed contentment and not think about reality for another few minutes. "I do want my pants back, though," he added with a grimace as a breeze ran over him and made him shiver.

"Here," Zack said, fumbling in his belt and handing him another potion. Cloud blinked at it in surprise as the older boy cautiously reached back to retrieve Cloud's pants.

"Did you clean the guy out?" Cloud wondered after he'd gulped the potion. It made the stinging burn in his ass fade, turned it into a tolerable ache.

"More or less," Zack agreed with a laugh. "I have my ways."

Getting Cloud back into his pants proved to be even more awkward and dangerous than getting him out of them in the first place, but they managed somehow. They settled down again with Cloud's back pressed to Zack's chest, leaning together against the support post and just quietly enjoying each other's warmth. If he didn't let himself think about what was waiting for them when they finally did leave, Cloud could almost be happy.

At least the fireworks were beautiful. Cloud turned his eyes up to watch them, and did his best to ignore everything but the flowers in the sky and the feel of Zack behind him.


	15. Chapter 15

The skies over Midgar had been overcast for weeks now, though it hadn't rained. Cloud honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd seen the sun. He wasn't sure if it was a natural rainy season for the climate, or something to do with the rapidly increasing air pollution problem, or both; frankly, he didn't care. The dull skies and weak light suited his mood perfectly.

The new SOLDIERs had been separated from the failures before they'd even left Gold Saucer. Not having expected that, Cloud and Zack hadn't had a chance to say goodbye. The last Cloud had seen of his friend had been as Zack turned back to smile and give him a thumbs up, just before vanishing into the helicopter that had been chartered for the new SOLDIERs.

At first Cloud had done his best to cling to Zack's reassurances, reminding himself again and again that he could make another attempt next year, and that Zack had faith in him. It had been hard, harder than he'd even thought. Although the attitude among his toonmates had been more along the lines of 'wow, you made it really far, way to go!' than 'you failed, you're such a loser', it had been difficult to face them all knowing he'd left telling them he was going to be a SOLDIER and returned still an ordinary trooper.

In truth he'd been a little relieved when his transfer orders had come a few days after he'd gotten back. He'd apparently managed to impress the brass enough to earn himself a promotion and a transfer to the sword corps. In the beginning, just glancing down at his bright new corporal's insignia had been enough to comfort him. It helped that the troops in his new unit had no idea he'd been a SOLDIER candidate; they'd simply accepted him and treated him as they would have any other transfer.

As one week went by, then two, he'd told himself that Zack was probably just trapped in the SOLDIER equivalent of boot camp, and too exhausted to seek Cloud out in his free time. Or maybe he was getting his mako enhancements; none of the regular troops really knew exactly how that was done, though there were all kinds of ghoulish rumours.

When the third and fourth weeks went by and there still was no sign of Zack, not even so much as a relayed message, the private reassurances started to wear thin.

Maybe if he'd had any kind of support it wouldn't have seemed so awful, but even after weeks of working together he still barely knew any of his new toonmates. He'd never realized just how much it had been Zack who had created a place for them among their unit, with Cloud trailing along and content to stay in his friend's shadow. Without Zack there to break the ice and smooth the way, Cloud found he had absolutely no idea how to go about making friends of his new unit.

They seemed to take his shyness as a natural reticence, and left him to himself. They didn't tease or torment him, but they didn't go out of their way to include him in anything either. As time went by and Zack still didn't show, Cloud withdrew more and more into himself and that only made the problem worse.

Until now, more than two months after the SOLDIER exams had finished. Everything seemed dull and grey to Cloud, not just the skies. He drifted through the days, doing his duties to the best of his abilities but without any sort of heart in it, alone even among the crowd of his toonmates. He felt like he was only existing, not really living.

Damn Zack anyway. He was the one who'd befriended Cloud despite the younger boy's protests, and he'd gotten Cloud used to having a close friend around all the time. Before Zack came into his life it wouldn't have bothered Cloud to find himself alone in a group and friendless; it was simply what he expected. Now, though, he was achingly lonely and miserable. It was worse than the week in Mideel when they'd been fighting, because every day that went by made it harder to believe that Zack would come back at all.

Today they were getting out of the city, at least. Maybe in the wide spaces of the plains around Midgar he'd be able to find a measure of peace. He didn't think life in the big city would ever really appeal to him.

The monster appearances around Midgar had gotten frequent enough to endanger travellers coming to and from Junon and Kalm. Shinra had started sending troops out to patrol the main roads, keeping them clear and safe so trade wouldn't be restricted. 5th sword battalion's charlie company had been assigned the duty today, and Cloud was looking forward to it. Well, as much as he looked forward to anything these days.

Since they were going to be patrolling on foot just outside the city, they didn't bother with a troop transport. Just before they reached the gate of the army compound their captain waved them off to the side, sending them scurrying to form up to one side of the road as a line of SOLDIERs came in through the gates.

Standing at attention and saluting with the others, Cloud automatically looked for some sign of Zack as the SOLDIERs went by. They weren't marching; they were clumped in groups, and most of them looked completely exhausted. They were all 3rd Class except for the 2nd Class who was leading them; Cloud wondered if they'd been in some kind of major battle somewhere. But why were they walking?

He hadn't actually expected to see Zack, so he was more than a little surprised when he caught sight of familiar dark spikes and a laughing face he'd missed so much it actually hurt to see it again. Trapped behind his helmet, unable to call out to get his friend's attention because he was in formation, Cloud drank in the sight of him the way parched earth drank in the rain.

Zack looked tired, Cloud noted immediately. Like all the other SOLDIERs his face was drawn and his movements weary, though his expression was as lively as ever. He was talking and gesturing to another of the SOLDIERs, laughing every so often in the irrepressible way he had. He looked good in the 3rd Class uniform, his broad shoulders filling out the tunic and carrying the shoulder plates well. He laughed at something his companion said, and the sound made Cloud's heart squeeze with longing.

And then it stopped beating altogether, as he watched Zack sling a casual arm over the other man's shoulder and ruffle his light brown hair. It was a familiar gesture; it ought to be, considering how often Zack had done it to Cloud. He tried to think if he'd ever seen Zack do it to anyone else, and couldn't remember. It had become a sort of coded gesture between them, the closest they could get to an intimate touch in public.

That, and Zack just loved to see Cloud blush and sputter when he did it.

Two months without a word. Two months, and his first glimpse of Zack was of him treating someone else exactly the same way he'd always treated Cloud. It felt like something died a little inside Cloud, something important. Zack had _promised_ he wouldn't forget Cloud... but from the looks of it, it hadn't taken him long to replace his 'best friend'.

The SOLDIERs had passed now, and Cloud's company started moving again. He marched along numbly, putting one foot in front of the other and staying in step more by habit than on purpose. His eyes watered and his throat closed up, and for once he was grateful for his helmet.

Any appeal the patrol had held was gone now. Cloud performed his duties by rote, not really paying attention. He was lucky that the monsters seemed to have learned enough to stay away from the main roads, or he'd probably have gotten himself and others killed with his apathy. All he could think about was that brief glimpse of Zack, and his chest hurt a little more every time he saw the mental image.

By the time their patrol ended and they all headed back to the barracks Cloud wanted nothing more than to curl up on his bunk, pull the covers over his head, and shut out the world for as long as possible. His toonmates were already planning a poker game, though, and he knew from past experience that it would be far too bright and noisy for him to have any hope of finding oblivion.

So he did the next best thing. "I'm going to practice," Cloud announced to the room in general as they entered their barrack and everyone started stripping off their armour. He wriggled out of his with the ease of practice, then buckled his sword belt back on over his tunic. The others waved him out, their attention already on setting the ante for the game. Cloud's obsession with practicing every chance he got, to prepare him for next year's SOLDIER exams, was well known.

They wouldn't question it if he was gone until curfew, wouldn't even mention it except perhaps to ask him if it had gone well. This was a time when he was grateful for the way they seemed content to leave him to his own devices; if he'd been back in alpha company, he'd have had to explain why he wanted to be alone. If Zack had been there, Cloud would never have gotten away with going off to 'sulk', as the older boy put it.

Of course, if Zack had been there, Cloud wouldn't have _needed_ to go 'sulk'. Zack wasn't there. From the looks of things, he'd better not count on Zack being there ever again. Cloud had been replaced.

Choking down the pain and anger that thought brought him, Cloud headed straight for the building that housed the small indoor training salles. The clerk who kept track of the use of the rooms smiled at him and waved him in, and he headed for 'his' practice room.

Really it was 'their' practice room. The indoor rooms were in high demand and were supposed to be booked at least twenty-four hours in advance, with forms filled out in triplicate and signed by your commanding officer to explain why the time for private training was required. Zack had long ago charmed the clerks, male and female alike, into keeping a room open for him and Cloud to practice in.

Stepping inside, Cloud closed the door behind him and stood there looking blindly into the small space, not bothering to turn the lights on. For the first time, he found he really didn't want to be there. This had been _their_ place, and not a few of their rare opportunities to touch each other had happened here. If the walls had been a little better soundproofed and the doors had a lock on them, they'd probably have done it more often and gone further.

The room held all kinds of memories, and they weren't things Cloud really wanted to think about. He'd come out to try to get away from thoughts of Zack, but was there anywhere on the base he could go that wouldn't bring back memories of his friend?

Probably not. So here was as good as anywhere. At least here he could vent his rage and pain without anyone questioning it. Flipping the lights on, he drew his sword and flung himself at the practice dummy.

"Stupid," he scolded himself as he made the first cut. The dummy was tough, made of a polymer created by Shinra, and he was only able to hack off little bits of it at a time. "Stupid, stupid, stupid! Of _course_ he's made friends. Of _course_ he's happy. Of _course_ he's forgotten all about you! He's _Zack_. He's probably never gone a day without a friend in his whole life."

There were tears on his cheeks and in his eyes, blurring his sight. It didn't matter; it wasn't like he was trying for finesse, just brute strength. "He's got people around him now who are at his level," he taunted himself bitterly. "Not stupid little hangers-on like you. _They_ can keep up with him. _They_ can train with him, match him, help him get better. _They_ are right there with him, not someone he has to waste hours of precious free time on!"

He'd believed Zack's promises, he really had. Even though some part of him had always been afraid this would happen, he'd still believed. How long had it taken Zack to replace him, he wondered? He'd seemed pretty comfortable with that other SOLDIER. A month? A week? Or had they already been chatting and making friends as the helicopter left Gold Saucer?

It was petty and childish of him to resent his friend's happiness, he knew. But he'd been so lonely and miserable, clinging to that last hope that Zack would show up eventually. He'd even mustered enough courage to go to the SOLDIERs' part of the compound a few times and ask after him, but the SOLDIERs all just brushed him off. Now he even had to wonder if Zack had maybe asked them not to tell Cloud where he was.

By the time he'd reduced the dummy to tiny little pieces, he was breathing hard and fighting off sobs. He'd hoped taking out his emotions on the dummy would help, but if anything he'd only made it worse. Glancing at his watch, Cloud swore as he realized he only had about fifteen minutes until curfew. He needed to clean up and hurry back, or he'd be late.

Struggling, he forced his expression under control with an effort of will. His emotions still roiled inside him, but at least his face wouldn't give him away. He washed tears and sweat alike off at the small basin in the room provided for that purpose, shivering as the cold water trickled down his neck.

The running water masked the sound of the door opening, but not the cheerful voice that followed. " _There_ you are! I'm an idiot, I should have checked here first." Startled, Cloud nearly bashed his head on the faucet as he jerked upright and spun around to see Zack standing in the doorway.

"The guys in alpha company weren't sure where you'd been transferred to," Zack continued, leaning against the door jamb and grinning. "It took me a while to find your new unit, and even then they weren't sure where you'd gone. I was about to give up for the night when it occurred to me to look in here."

All the hurt and anger Cloud hadn't successfully rid himself of with the practice dummy came boiling up, and he turned away before Zack could see it in his eyes. The last thing he wanted was for the older boy to know just how pathetic he'd been, hanging around waiting for some sign that Zack still thought of him. "I need to get back," he muttered, his voice gruff but thankfully steady. "I'll be late for curfew." He was going to have to brush right past Zack to get out of the room, and it made him feel trapped.

"Nah, don't worry about it," Zack shrugged, and from the corner of his eye Cloud saw the older boy's grin widen. "I'm an officer now, remember? You can just say I co-opted you for something, you won't get in trouble. Still feels weird, getting saluted."

If this had happened even yesterday, Cloud probably would have just smacked his friend for going so long without contacting him, and they'd have moved on. As it was, all he could think of was the way Zack had slung his arm over that other SOLDIER's shoulder.

"I bet," he said listlessly. "I need to go. I've got early patrol tomorrow, I need to sleep." He didn't, actually, but he doubted Zack would have any idea what his schedule was like. There was nothing for it; he moved to walk past the older boy and leave the room, hoping Zack would at least move out of the way.

The bastard actually had the gall to sound _hurt_. "C'mon! I haven't seen you in two months, and you want to go _sleep_? Where's your sense of adventure gone?" Zack reached out and ruffled Cloud's hair as he passed, his arm a heavy weight over the smaller boy's shoulders.

It was too much. Patience snapping, Cloud lashed out. "Leave me alone!" he shouted, shoving Zack's arm off and swinging at him. Cloud caught him enough off guard that his punch connected hard, staggering the older boy and driving the breath out of his lungs.

"Oof!" Clutching at his solar plexus, Zack coughed and glared at him. "What the hell was that for?" he demanded, wheezing.

"You!" Cloud yelled, almost incoherent with fury. "You _promised_ , you bastard!" _You promised not to forget me. You promised not to leave me behind._ Growling, he swung at Zack again, aiming for the face this time.

Zack dodged and grabbed his wrist, scowling. "I don't know what the hell your problem is, Cloud, but... hey!" Cloud had lifted a foot and kicked - not at his shin, which had been one of his standard responses to Zack's teasing, but at his kneecap. He didn't have the right angle to dislocate it, but the impact must have hurt like Ifrit's fire anyway. "Son of a bitch!" Zack swore. "Fine, you want a fight? You got it."

He punched at Cloud, who twisted to one side to dodge it. They'd sparred together often enough to be able to predict one another, but in those fights they'd never been trying to inflict real damage. This wasn't a fight so much as a brawl, and neither of them was pulling their punches.

Zack had always been better at hand-to-hand than Cloud, but the weariness the older boy had shown earlier was obviously slowing him down. That, plus the strength born of Cloud's anguish, put them on more or less even footing.

Within a few exchanges neither of them was thinking about why they were fighting any more. It was just about trading pain for pain; Cloud managed to black Zack's eye and split his lip, and Zack broke his nose in return. Zack tripped Cloud at one point and wrenched his ankle badly; Cloud retaliated by driving him back into the nearest wall and dislocating his shoulder.

Nobody came running; you _expected_ to hear sounds of fighting in the training rooms, after all. At some point the door had swung closed again as they moved farther into the room, giving them privacy.

Cloud's breath was coming in harsh pants, burning in his throat and lungs. His whole face felt like it was on fire, and every movement sent spikes of pain shooting up from his broken nose. He'd started crying again at some point, making it harder to aim his punches, and finally that was enough to let Zack get the better of him.

Catching a wild swing with his good hand, Zack twisted it up and around behind Cloud's back and wrenched it upwards. Cloud cried out in pain and tried to struggle, but there wasn't much he could do without hurting himself further. If Zack pulled his arm up any further he'd dislocate it; a sharp jerk and it would break. He kicked back, trying to hit Zack's injured knee again, but the older boy evaded it and used his captured arm to frog-march him up against the wall.

Once there, Zack leaned in and used his taller, heavier body to pin Cloud down. Hurt, exhausted, and still shaking with suppressed sobs, Cloud gave up and stopped struggling.

"All right," Zack said cautiously when Cloud stopped fighting. His voice was strained with pain, which gave Cloud some small satisfaction at least. "You wanna tell me what the hell that was all about?"

"You bastard, I _believed_ you," Cloud choked out, his voice thick with the blood that had run down his throat from his broken nose. "Two fucking months! It hasn't been _that_ hard to find me!"

"Well, it would have helped if I'd been anywhere near Midgar," Zack snapped back. Looking over his shoulder Cloud could see Zack scowling at him, though the effect was somewhat spoiled by the black eye and split lip. "If you'd just bothered to ask anyone, they'd have told you new SOLDIERs get shipped off to Junon for 'orientation'."

"Junon?" Cloud repeated, surprised enough that some of the angry tension bled out of his shoulders. "You've been in Junon all this time?" He shook his head. "But I _did_ ask! Often enough that the SOLDIERs told me to quit bugging them and stay out of their area! I thought..." he choked again, on fresh tears this time. "I thought you'd told them not to talk to me," he admitted in a whisper.

"Ah hell, Cloud." Zack let him go and stepped back, giving him room to turn. They were both battered and bruised and much the worse for wear, and Cloud dreaded having to explain these injuries to his toonmates and officer. "I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't do that to _anyone_ , but especially not you." He grimaced. "One thing I'm learning is that an awful lot of SOLDIERs are arrogant asses who like lording it over the troopers. Odin strike me down if I ever get like that."

"You couldn't have written me to tell me what the hell was going on?" Cloud demanded, not really satisfied. It helped to know that the reason Zack had never sought him out was because the older boy hadn't been in the city, but that didn't explain why he hadn't made any effort to reach Cloud at all.

To his surprise, Zack's expression turned sheepish and he raised his good hand to rub at the back of his head. "Yeah, well, I kind of suck at writing letters," he said. "I kept meaning to write you, really I did! I'd have it all planned out in my head, but then I never got around to putting pen to paper." He winced. "I haven't even written to my parents since I left home. Hades, they probably think I'm dead by now. I really ought to get around to doing that."

That was just such a _Zack_ thing to have a problem with that Cloud couldn't help snorting with laughter even though it made his nose hurt again. Of course Zack was a terrible letter writer. That would involve sitting still at a desk somewhere _voluntarily_ , when he could be out doing active things instead.

Most of Cloud's anger had drained away now, but it left a dull sort of ache behind in its place. The memory of Zack laughing and touching that other SOLDIER was still fresh in his mind's eye. "All right, I'm sorry I punched you," he said wearily, turning away again. "But maybe this was all just as well. We don't exist in the same world any more, Zack. Maybe you..." He stumbled over the words, but forced them out around the constriction in his throat. He was mature enough to want his best friend to be happy even at the expense of their friendship, really he was. "Maybe you _should_ forget about me. Go be with your friends in SOLDIER. That's where you belong now."

"I don't _want_ to go spend time with them, dumbass," Zack said with the exaggerated patience you used to correct a particularly slow child. "Believe me, I see more than enough of their ugly mugs every day. And I did promise you I wouldn't forget you, and you know I keep my promises."

That made it sound almost like Zack had only sought him out because of the promise, a thought that hurt Cloud worse than anything else had yet. He had to wait a moment to reply, or a sob would have escaped him. "I can take care of myself without you hanging around to baby me," he said harshly, still not able to look Zack in the eyes. "You've obviously already made close friends there. You don't need me any more."

"What in the name of the Ancients are you on about?" Zack asked, shaking his head. He caught Cloud's chin in his good hand and forced the younger boy to look up. When he saw the tears in Cloud's eyes, he looked astonished. "What made you think I could ever replace you?"

Impatient, Cloud made a sharp gesture as if to brush away the question. "I _saw_ you, Zack," he said. "As you came in the gate this morning. My company was going out on patrol; you didn't see me because I had my helmet on." Despite his best efforts, his voice turned bitter. "You seemed more than friendly enough with that guy, you don't need me hanging around as a third wheel."

Zack blinked, clearly trying to recall just who he'd been talking to as he came into the base that morning. "You mean Adri?" he asked. "He's a decent guy and a good friend, but he's not _you_. For one thing, he doesn't..."

He paused, and gave Cloud a speculative look. It transformed quickly into a grin; the expression looked a little gruesome on his bruised and bloody face, but Cloud had seen it often enough to know Zack was laughing at him. "Cloud, are you _jealous_ of Adri? Is that what all this is really about?"

"I am not jealous!" Cloud practically yelled, wincing as his nose protested. His ears felt hot, and he knew he was probably blushing scarlet.

Laughing, Zack reached out and ruffled his hair. Still trapped between the older boy and the wall even though he wasn't pinned any more, Cloud couldn't dodge so he had to settle for growling and batting at the offending hand. "You little twit," Zack scolded him affectionately. "Don't you have any faith in us _yet_? There's nothing for you to be jealous of. Not only is Adri happily married, but the only one I want to be fooling around with is you." He eyed the mess of Cloud's nose thoughtfully. "Though not when you're that damaged. Here."

Cloud took the little bottle Zack dug out of his belt, but he had to stare at it for a minute to realize what it was. "Is that a hi-potion?" he asked, momentarily distracted from the topic at hand by his astonishment. He hadn't seen one since that final battle in Mideel.

"Yeah, we get a couple issued every day, or we'd all have collapsed in training," Zack said, grimacing. "Man, if you thought boot camp was bad, it was like a candle to the sun compared to SOLDIER basic training. And we haven't even gotten the mako treatments yet! Drink it, or you're going to look like a raccoon in a few minutes. And I've been dying to kiss you for two months, damn it, I don't want you to pass out from pain when I finally get a chance."

Those words, spoken in such an offhand but passionate manner, did more to reassure Cloud than everything else Zack had said. He downed the hi-potion and braced himself against the wall as the magic-laced liquid raced through his system, repairing all the damage. When the tingling sensation finally faded, he could breathe freely through his nose again and nothing hurt.

Zack had used a Restore on himself in the meantime, and the moment he saw Cloud had recovered he leaned down and kissed the younger boy thoroughly. A little dizzy, Cloud clung to his shoulders and kissed him back. He'd forgotten just how good this really was, and with every moment that went by a little more of the hollow ache inside him was filled.

"Sweet Shiva, I've missed you," Zack breathed when he finally pulled away and leaned his forehead against Cloud's. He'd moved so he was pinning the smaller boy to the wall again, but Cloud was so not complaining. He rocked his lower body against Cloud's, brushing their groins together and making them both moan. Neither of them was fully hard yet, but it wouldn't take much to get there. "I still owe you a hotel trip. Remind me why I shouldn't just take you here against the wall, though?"

"We don't have time," Cloud groaned, shivering with lust and regret. Automatically he lifted his arm far enough from Zack's neck to see his watch. "It's... holy Alexander, it's almost half an hour past curfew!" he yelped, eyes widening. "Shit! I'm going to be in so much trouble!"

Chuckling, Zack kissed him again despite Cloud's half-panicked efforts to get free. "No worries, I'll walk you back and they won't question a SOLDIER," he assured the blonde. "But we probably shouldn't push our luck by being _too_ late," he concluded with a sigh. Reluctantly he pulled away, leaving Cloud leaning dazed against the wall.

"We're okay now, right?" Zack asked, just to make sure. "You got it all out of your system?"

"Yeah," Cloud nodded, flushing again with embarrassment. Looking back on his behaviour now, he hoped he hadn't seemed like as much of a child as he thought he had. Why was it always so easy to realize how immature you were being _after_ the fact, but never at the time?

"Good," Zack ruffled his hair again. "Because while I'm flattered that you're jealous, you're not nearly as cute when you're trying to kick my knees in. C'mon, let's get you back to your unit."

As predicted, the sergeant in charge of Cloud's platoon didn't so much as chide Cloud for being late when he saw who was accompanying his young corporal. "I'll see you tomorrow, unless something weird happens with our schedules," Zack said with a smile and a wave as he turned to go. Cloud nodded, and couldn't resist staring after him until the door had closed behind him. He was back to feeling the way he had this morning when he'd first seen his friend; like he couldn't get enough of looking at him to make up for the two months they'd been apart.

"Hey Cloud, you never told us you knew someone in SOLDIER," one of the others commented enviously.

Turning back to them, Cloud couldn't help grinning. His toonmates gaped at him, unused to seeing such a blatantly cheerful expression on him. "He's my best friend," Cloud replied, the grin widening. Knowing Zack hadn't abandoned or forgotten him made all the difference in the world.


	16. Chapter 16

Usually, at the end of a day of drills and patrols and with the incentive of a weekend leave about to begin, the pushing and crowding to get back into the barracks was unbelievable. As small as he was, Cloud generally hung back to avoid the worst of the crush for fear of accidental injury.

He was more than a little surprised, therefore, to reach charlie company's area and discover the rest of his platoon piled up _outside_ the open door, none of them making a move to go inside. "What's going on?" he asked one of the others.

"There's a SOLDIER in there," the older man said absently, straining to see over the heads of their toonmates.

"So?" Cloud did a quick mental headcount and confirmed that yes, _all_ of his platoon was out here. And the sergeant was still back with the captain, being debriefed with the other sergeants. "What does he want? Why is he keeping us out?"

"He, uh... seems to be passed out on your bed, corporal," one of the men at the front called back in an exaggerated whisper. "I think it's the same one you came back with the other day after curfew."

"On my _bed_?" Cloud repeated, blinking. He shoved at the man in front of him, and the rest of the platoon parted to let him up to the front. Even without the man's words he'd have known it was Zack in there; he couldn't imagine anyone else just making himself comfortable like that. But why would Zack be passed out?

Sure enough, the familiar spiky black hair was spread out over Cloud's pillow, Zack lying half twisted on the bed with his feet still on the floor like he'd been sitting down and toppled over when he fell asleep. There was a deep crease between his brows, as if he didn't much like whatever dream he was having. It was such a familiar sight, despite the incongruity of the SOLDIER uniform, that it took Cloud's breath away for a moment.

"Zack?" he said, pushing past the last of his toonmates to get into the room. Glancing over his shoulder, he rolled his eyes at the others. "He doesn't bite, you know. You don't have to be scared to come in."

He didn't wait to see if they came in or not, leaning over his bunk and looking at his friend instead. Zack hadn't responded to the sound of his name, which was unusual; the older boy had always been a light sleeper. Maybe whatever dream had hold of him wasn't willing to let go that easily.

"Hey, Zack, wake up," Cloud said, reaching out to shake his friend's shoulder lightly at first, then more vigorously when that had no effect.

 _That_ got a response, though not the one Cloud had expected. Zack jerked awake, flailing, and bashed one arm into the bedpost. His still half-asleep brain seemed to interpret the pain from that as an attack, because he lunged at Cloud as if he was tackling an enemy.

He was also moving like he was under the influence of a Haste spell, which didn't make any sense. He impacted Cloud before the younger boy could even think about dodging, let alone make an attempt to do so, and they both went down hard on the floor.

"Zack. Zack!" Cloud wheezed as loudly as he could, the breath knocked out of him by the impact. "Damn it, wake up! It's me, Cloud!"

"Cloud?" That seemed to reach Zack where the sound of his own name had not. He blinked down at the blonde, and slowly lowered the fist he'd raised to punch at the younger boy. "Cloud, _shit_ , I'm sorry," he said as awareness of the situation flooded into his eyes all at once. Mortified, he scrambled up to his feet and offered Cloud a hand up as well. "You startled me."

Cloud accepted the offered hand, and was nearly yanked off his feet when Zack tugged at him. "Whoa!" He caught himself with one hand braced against the older boy's chest, and looked at him. "What the..."

Realization dawned as Zack released him abruptly, taking a step back so fast he nearly tripped again, and Cloud got a look at his bed. The post was cracked and splintered where Zack's arm had impacted it; it would have to be repaired before his bunkmate would dare climb up top.

"You got your mako enhancements!" Cloud exclaimed. The speed, the strength, the reflexes; all were the signs of a SOLDIER. And, now that he was looking, he could see that Zack's eyes seemed to glow with a dim light from within.

"Yeah," Zack looked sheepish, reaching out to grab the other bed post - _carefully_ \- to steady himself. "Yesterday morning. They said it takes about a week to get used to it. Uh... sorry about the bed. I didn't mean to fall asleep, I guess I was more tired than I thought." He gave the other troops still gathered around the door an apologetic look. "Sorry if I freaked you out."

"What are you doing here in the first place?" Cloud asked as the others began to file in at last. Zack's sheepish look turned into a smug grin.

"We're on inactive status until we can prove to the medics that we've mastered our new reflexes well enough to go back into training without killing ourselves," the older boy confided. "When I checked the duty roster and saw you were up for a weekend leave, it was too good a chance to pass up. You up to hitting the town for the weekend? Or am I interrupting plans?"

Warmth streaked through Cloud, and he could only hope it didn't show on his face for his toonmates to wonder about. _Finally_ , they both had leave at the same time! "I think I can put off practicing for a couple days," he said, managing to force his voice into an appropriately dry tone. "But only if you're paying. Your pay scale is a lot higher than mine now!"

"You're gonna bleed me dry for it too, aren't you?" Zack asked him in amusement. The gleam in his eyes said he at least hadn't missed Cloud's reaction. Or maybe that was just the new mako glow, it was hard to tell. "C'mon, let's go! I've missed Midgar." _And you,_ was the unspoken addition that Cloud heard, and it made the warmth burn more strongly inside him.

Dumping his helmet and sword on the bed, Cloud squirmed out of his armour and dropped it as well. "I'm ready," he said, running a hand through his hair to straighten the spikes quickly. Zack slung a companionable arm over his shoulder and pushed him towards the door, grinning at him.

Cloud could feel an answering stupid grin on his own face, and he thought his eyes were probably shining with excitement like a little kid going on a trip to the candy store. He couldn't help himself, and it wasn't all even mostly due to the idea that they were _finally_ going to have a chance to get some time alone together somewhere comfortable.

It just felt so good to have Zack at his side again, to be heading out into Midgar on a weekend leave as if nothing had ever come between them. It still hurt that he hadn't made it into SOLDIER, but the ache had faded into something bearable. And when he was looking up at Zack's wide grin, he hardly noticed it at all.

The arm over his shoulder wasn't entirely an excuse to touch him, Cloud realized as Zack tried to move too fast and got tangled up in his own feet. "You're really having trouble with this, aren't you?" Cloud asked curiously as he paused to give the older boy a chance to steady himself. He'd never thought about how difficult it might be to adjust to the significant alterations made to your body by the SOLDIERs' mako enhancement treatments, but of course it would be confusing to suddenly have your body change on you like that.

"This isn't so bad," Zack replied with a grin that was half grimace. "You should have seen me yesterday, when I first woke up. I couldn't even sit up without help, everything was so screwy. That's normal, apparently. Or so the scientists shooting us up said. I'm actually recovering faster than usual."

"Shooting you up? They actually inject the mako directly?" Cloud asked, eyes wide. He kept his voice low as they passed through the gate, flashing their badges at the guards there. "Are you even supposed to be telling me this stuff?"

"Nope!" Zack replied cheerfully, ruffling Cloud's hair with his free hand. "It's classified out the ass; I think they're afraid the potential candidates will be scared off if they hear about everything that's involved in becoming a SOLDIER. I trust you not to blab, though. Or get frightened off."

"If you can handle it, I can handle it," Cloud said firmly. "And I know you trust me, but you still shouldn't be telling me classified stuff. Where are we going, anyway?" he asked, noticing that Zack was headed for the train station.

"Well, see..." Zack turned puppy eyes on him, and Cloud groaned.

"No, Zack! How many times do I have to tell you I don't want to meet your girlfriend?"

"About as many times as I have to tell you she's not my girlfriend," Zack replied with a hint of amusement. "It's not that serious."

"Does _she_ know that?" Cloud asked, shaking his head. If there was one thing he'd learned by listening to his toonmates talk (and complain) about their girls, it was that women had a tendency to think things were a great deal more serious than the man had meant to imply.

"She knows about you," Zack said, raising an eyebrow at him. "I told her, last time we had leave and you didn't want to come with me because I was going down to see her. She made me promise not to come back unless I brought you along, she wants to meet you."

"You what?" Cloud yelped, stopping short and nearly toppling them both over when Zack didn't stop quickly enough.

The bastard had the nerve to laugh at him, too. "She said, and I quote, 'He must have the patience of a saint to put up with you _all day_ and still want to spend more time around you. I have to meet him!' And she's probably just as pissed at me as you were for dropping out of sight for two months like that; she doesn't even know if I passed the exams or what." He made puppy eyes again. "So give me a break, won't you? If I show up without you, she'll think of some suitably devious punishment that I definitely don't want to have to do. She made me swear on my mother's grave and everything!"

About to continue his objections, Cloud was momentarily diverted by that last statement. "Zack, your mother's not dead," he said, brow furrowing. At least, Zack had always talked about her in the present tense, and he was pretty sure his friend would have _told_ him about something like his mother dying.

"No, but it's the principle of the thing," Zack chuckled. "C'mon, please?" He tugged at Cloud to try to get him moving towards the station, but once again forgot to compensate for his enhanced strength. They both staggered, and only Zack's quick grab for a nearby lamppost kept them upright. Unfortunately, he also left finger marks behind on the post.

Cloud looked at them in awe. "How strong _are_ you?" he asked. Everybody knew SOLDIERs were strong, but how strong was 'strong'?

"Not sure yet," Zack said, and his expression was more rueful dismay than awe as he looked at the indents. "The effects won't finish stabilizing for another day or so. That would be another reason to go visit Aerith tonight; I think I want a little more control over my reflexes before we go find that hotel."

"Er." Cloud looked at the post, and imagined what kind of damage the older boy might have done if it had been Cloud's arm he was squeezing instead. He winced at the thought. "Yeah. Maybe." Seeing Zack's gaze grow hopeful, Cloud sighed and ran a hand over his face. "All right, we'll go see her," he capitulated with somewhat bad grace. "But don't say I didn't warn you!"

"There's nothing to warn about," Zack asserted, dragging him - carefully this time - towards the station. "You're going to love her, and she's going to love you. You'll see."

Cloud wasn't nearly as certain of that as Zack seemed to be, but there wasn't much he could do about it now. He wasn't about to go back on his agreement, and anyway if he told Zack to go on without him, he'd look a right idiot going back to his barrack _now_.

The train was crowded as it always was on a Friday night, but at least three privates jumped to their feet and offered their seats as soon as they saw Zack. Knowing his friend, Cloud anticipated that Zack would refuse; the older boy wasn't the sort to take advantage of his rank like that. Cloud cut him off before he could say it. "Just take one of the seats," he urged under his breath. "Otherwise, the first time the train sways and you reach for something to steady yourself with..."

"Good point," Zack winced, and took the nearest offered seat. Cloud remained standing in front of him, hanging on to one of the poles nearby.

He'd expected Zack to start chattering like he usually did, but the dark-haired boy tipped his head forward and ran a hand over his eyes, as if they were tired. When he still didn't say anything after a few minutes, Cloud got worried. "Hey, are you okay? You're being kinda quiet." Was Zack worried about introducing Cloud to his girlfr... to his friend after all?

"Huh?" Zack jerked his head up, like he'd been startled. "Oh, sorry. I think being sleepy is one of the side effects, or something. I keep dropping off any time I sit still for a while." He rubbed at his face again, wincing as if the touch hurt. "And this damn headache won't go away. I think it's getting worse."

"Maybe you should have just stayed at the base and taken it easy?" Cloud asked, a little concerned.

"Nah, I'll be fine," Zack waved that off, making a visible effort to be more alert. "Just don't let me doze off, given the way I seem to react to being woken up. I'd hate to break someone's nose with my flailing around." He laughed, but to Cloud's ears the sound was just a bit forced.

He trusted Zack to know his own limits, though. Zack liked to push the limits, any limits, but he rarely crossed them. The older boy was probably afraid Cloud would change his mind about meeting the girl, given a chance to back out now. He was probably right, at that.

They reached sector 5 and disembarked, Zack again leaning on Cloud to help himself stay coordinated. In fact he put a bit more weight on Cloud, perhaps not as worried about seeming weak now that they weren't in front of the other troopers. SOLDIERs had a reputation to maintain, after all.

"This way," Zack said, directing Cloud towards a narrow little street. Cloud hadn't been to this part of Midgar before, so he was forced to let Zack take the lead entirely.

As they walked Zack's weight slowly grew heavier, and rather than improving he actually seemed to be more off-balance than he'd started out. He tripped over his feet several times, stumbling and nearly throwing Cloud off as well. His expression grew more pained as well, and Cloud was really starting to get worried.

When they passed a large crack in the wall between sectors, Cloud paused and looked at it suspiciously. It looked awfully familiar, considering he'd never been down in this sector before. "Zack, are you sure you know where you're going?" he asked. "I think we're going in circles."

"I..." Zack sounded hoarse, and a little shaky. "I... I don't feel so good. Shit. Cloud, leggo."

He pulled away from Cloud's supporting arm and clung to the wall instead, and was violently sick. Eyes wide, Cloud backed off to avoid getting caught in it. "Zack! Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Looking straight at his friend now instead of just glancing at him from the side, Cloud could see the older boy was pale and sweating. His face was pinched with pain, and he stayed doubled over even after there was nothing left in his stomach.

"I think... some kind of... delayed reaction," Zack gasped, clearly fighting back the urge to keep heaving.

"I'm taking you back," Cloud said firmly, suppressing the panic that was trying to build in his chest. He'd only ever seen Zack sick once before, during that terrible time in Mideel, and this brought back awful memories. _This isn't like that_ , he told himself firmly. Nobody died from the mako infusions, at least not since the early days of the SOLDIER project. All Cloud had to do was get him back to the base, and the medics there would know what to do.

"Aerith... can help," Zack got out with a groan, trying to straighten. "She's a healer."

"Yeah, but I don't know where she is and you've been leading us in circles," Cloud pointed out. "I _do_ know how to get back to the station, though, so that's where we're going. Come on. We'll go meet her some other day."

"Gonna be sick on you," Zack warned him with a shaky grin as Cloud wormed his way back under the older boy's arm.

"That's only fair. How many times did I get sick on or near you on the boat back from Mideel?" Cloud joked weakly, getting them moving in the direction he was fairly certain the station was in. Zack had almost all his weight on him now, and the older boy was significantly taller than Cloud was at the moment. It was hard to carry him, and they ended up staggering like a pair of drunks through the alleys of sector 5.

Cloud concentrated on putting one foot in front of another, and trying to remember exactly how they'd gotten here from the station. They'd turned left at that rusted out rain barrel, so he needed to turn right to go back. This jumble of pipes and other debris was something he remembered passing, so that meant they were on the right track. Had they turned right or left at the intersection with the garbage bin?

They had to stop a couple of times for Zack to be sick again, though he wasn't heaving up anything but bile at this point. He was shaking and sweating, and he clutched at the hand Cloud was using to steady Zack's arm over his shoulder hard enough that the bones ground together. Cloud gritted his teeth and said nothing, knowing Zack probably couldn't help it and not wanting him to feel guilty.

When they turned a corner and he caught sight of a now familiar crack in the wall, though, Cloud knew they were in trouble. "Odin's blood," he swore, kicking at the wall in frustration. "We're _still_ going in circles! This place is a damn maze!" He hadn't even seen anyone else he could ask for directions, as this area of the slums seemed to be more or less abandoned. Which could be a very bad thing; he didn't like to think of the target a couple of incapacitated Shinra troops would present to anyone looking to cause trouble. Especially someone who wanted the prestige of being able to say he'd beaten up a SOLDIER, since Zack's rank was clearly identified by his uniform.

"Just... go straight," Zack suggested, leaning against Cloud's shoulder and panting. His eyes were glazed and distant, as if he wasn't actually seeing what was right in front of him, and the glow was stronger than ever. He wasn't feverish; far from it, his skin was cold and clammy. Cloud was getting seriously worried. Zack had a Restore and a Heal in his bracer, he'd seen, but he wasn't sure either of those would actually help.

Well, going straight was as good an idea as any. Though 'straight' was a relative term, down here. Cloud got them moving again with an effort, though he was all but dragging Zack at this point. He was positive at least one bone in his hand had to be broken, and the waves of pain from it made him light-headed and more than a little nauseous himself, but he ignored it with sheer strength of will.

They didn't encounter the crack in the wall again, but neither did they come to the station or anything else resembling civilization. Cloud was fairly certain they were just moving in _different_ circles now, though there weren't any landmarks that stood out enough for him to be sure. He was about ready to give up in utter despair and start panicking when a deep voice came from behind them.

"I'm fairly certain there are regulations about being drunk and disorderly while in uniform," the unknown person said, his voice heavy with disapproval and contempt. Cloud tried to look over his shoulder to see who it was - an officer presumably, with that tone of voice - but Zack clutched at his hand again and his vision went white with a haze of pain.

" 'M not _drunk_!" Zack exclaimed indignantly, though his voice was slurred enough to convince anyone that he was lying. " 'M just... oh, shit..." Getting himself worked up had apparently caused his stomach to rebel again, and Cloud barely managed to hold him more or less on his feet as he doubled over.

"He's really not, sir," Cloud said desperately. The last thing either of them needed was to be written up on drunk and disorderly charges. "Honest, neither of us has had anything to drink and... oh _shit_." He echoed Zack's earlier profanity, because he'd finally managed to turn far enough to catch a glimpse of the officer behind them.

 _Why_ did they always manage to run into the man both of them would most like to impress under the _worst_ possible circumstances? Cloud couldn't imagine what Shinra's Silver General was doing down here in the slums, but there he was, standing at the end of the alley like a disapproving angel.

He couldn't even salute, because that was the hand Zack was currently crushing into little bits of bone. "General Sephiroth, sir!" he said, swallowing the sharp taste of fear that was trying to crawl up his throat. Or maybe that was just bile; between the pain and the panic, he was pretty close to joining Zack in throwing up.

The general quirked an eyebrow at him, and recognition filled those cat-green eyes. "Corporal. And... lieutenant?" he made it almost a query, eying Zack's new uniform. "Some day I hope to encounter the two of you under circumstances a bit less trying. I must admit neither of you struck me as the irresponsible type. So if you're not drunk, then what..."

Sephiroth had moved forward, and Zack had finally stopped being sick again. Cloud managed to shuffle them around enough that they were more or less facing the general, and the tall man put two fingers under Zack's chin and lifted his face.

"Ah. I see." Something in the man's bright eyes became shuttered, his face closing off in a way that made his normal expression seem downright open and easy to read. Next to the fire of Sephiroth's gaze Zack's eyes hardly seemed to glow at all, but it was apparently enough for the general to make the connection. "Your first mako injection?"

"Yesterday... morning," Zack gasped out, squeezing Cloud's hand a little harder to help steady himself. Cloud couldn't keep from making a small pained grunt, though he managed to swallow the rest of his cry. Sephiroth's eyes flicked from Zack's face to their hands to Cloud's face and back.

"Didn't anyone warn you about the side effects?" the general asked, sounding dispassionate. At least he wasn't disapproving any more.

"It's been... thirty hours," Zack replied, forcing the words out. "Thought I was... okay. Was starting... to get the hang of it."

"The adjustment to your body's enhancements is the least of the reasons why new SOLDIERs are off active duty immediately following the injections," Sephiroth said. "And the worst of the side effects generally manifest as much as seventy-two hours after the initial dose. Here, corporal, give him to me before he crushes your hand any further."

With an ease that made Zack's recently increased strength seem like an infant's weak grip, Sephiroth bent and scooped up the other SOLDIER. He held Zack like a husband would hold a bride, a pose that looked more than a little ridiculous with the two of them. Sephiroth was taller, but Zack's shoulders were wider and he probably matched the general in terms of mass.

Gasping as the pressure on his hand suddenly let up, Cloud swayed and had to steady himself with his good hand. The rush of pain was intense, and for a moment he thought he might black out.

This time the wash of cool, soothing energy was almost expected, though he hadn't heard the general murmur the trigger spell. Objectively Cloud knew that it was the level of the materia that determined the power of the spell, not the power of the caster, but he'd had enough healing spells cast on him now that it seemed to him he could sense a difference in Sephiroth's. Maybe it was just his imagination, or because the times when the general healed him seemed to always be extremes.

"You're a good friend to him, corporal," the general murmured, and Cloud flushed with embarrassed pleasure at the compliment as he straightened. "Let's get him back to the Shinra medics."

Glancing at Zack, Cloud was surprised to see his eyes were closed. "Did he pass out again?" he blurted out, worried. "Uh, sir," he remembered to tack on after a moment.

"Again?" Sephiroth looked at him sharply. "He should have been warned not to go far if he was feeling over tired or blacking out. But no, this time I cast a sleep spell on him. He's likely to become delirious, given his other symptoms, and I'd rather not have to fight with him."

"Oh." Cloud felt oddly reprimanded, as though he somehow should have known enough to keep his friend from going out, even though he didn't think that was what Sephiroth had intended with his words. "He'll be okay though, won't he sir?"

"He'll be fine," Sephiroth assured him. "A strong reaction generally indicates a strong adjustment to his body, which means he possibly has the potential to go as far as 1st Class." He glanced down at Cloud, and raised an eyebrow. "I would have expected you to be suffering the same problem."

Well, that was confirmation that the general had not attended or otherwise observed the SOLDIER exams. At least Cloud could console himself that his public humiliation hadn't been _that_ public. He clenched his jaw, and had to look away. "I'll make it next year," he growled. It actually didn't hurt as much to acknowledge that he'd failed as he'd expected it to; knowing that _General Sephiroth_ was surprised he wasn't a SOLDIER now was more than a little soothing to his wounded spirit.

"Ah." This time Sephiroth's tone was ever so slightly amused. If it had come from anyone else Cloud would have bristled at the implication that his assertion was humorous, but from Sephiroth he didn't think it had been meant as derision. "Hopefully you will be warned by your friend's example, rather than following it. I'll expect to see you next year."

If there had been any lingering doubts in Cloud's mind about whether he would even attempt the tests again next year and risk failing again, they were erased in that moment. If the general expected you to do something, you did it. It was that simple. And Sephiroth not only expected him to take the tests, he expected Cloud to pass. "Yes, sir," Cloud said, and he'd never been happier to accept an order in his life.


	17. Chapter 17

For once reveille couldn't come early enough to suit Cloud. He was up out of bed before it had even finished playing, much to the astonishment of the rest of his platoon. "You feeling all right, corporal?" his bunkmate asked him, bemused.

"I'm fine," Cloud muttered, waving off their concern and ducking his head so they wouldn't be able to see the flush on his cheeks as clearly. Damn his pale colouring, anyway. "Just couldn't sleep, and I figured I might as well not be late to inspection for once."

That was true enough, as far as it went, and he hurried into the showers before they could question him any further. He still wasn't very close to any of his toonmates, so thankfully there wasn't anyone who knew him well enough to be able to guess why he was so wound up today. If any of them figured it out, he'd be in for a _world_ of teasing.

How could he not be excited, though? He'd finally found a friendly SOLDIER 3rd Class who was willing to pass on the duty schedule of Zack's unit to him, and Bence had told him that today was the day they were supposed to be back in Midgar.

Cloud hadn't so much as caught a glimpse of his best friend since the weekend leave gone wrong, when Zack had collapsed and Sephiroth had brought him back to the base. Cloud had spent the whole weekend sitting by Zack's bed in the infirmary, refusing to budge until he knew the older boy would be okay. Attempts to forcibly remove him had been stopped by a quiet word from Sephiroth when the man had checked in on Zack on Saturday afternoon, for which Cloud had been grateful.

By Sunday night Zack had been awake and aware enough to recognize Cloud and make a few feeble attempts to joke with him to reassure him. Cloud would have fought to stay with him even after his weekend leave was up, but Zack had insisted Cloud go back to his unit and report for duty on time. Reluctantly Cloud had gone, and by the time he got a chance to get back to the infirmary his friend had already been released.

Since then it had been one thing after another. The new SOLDIERs were shipped out again for more training as soon as they'd all recovered enough, and that lasted another two months. Then, a week before Zack was due back, Cloud's company had been sent out with a group of scientists to collect monster samples from around the reactor south of Junon. By the time they returned Zack had been gone again, on his first real mission as a SOLDIER.

Four and a half months, and it felt like years. At least this time Cloud knew it wasn't that Zack was deliberately avoiding or ignoring him. He'd written to the older boy whenever he had a chance, and a couple of terse and hastily penned notes in return let him know his letters were appreciated.

Now, _finally_ , they were going to be in the same city again for a while. Cloud didn't have leave for another couple of days, but there was no reason he couldn't at least head over to the SOLDIER compound tonight and welcome Zack home.

Just a few more hours, one day's worth of patrols or sentry duty or whatever was on the roster for them today, and he'd be able to see his friend. How could he not be excited and eager to start the day? The sooner it started, the sooner it would be over.

Of course, the day itself was going to drag on forever, Cloud realized as he lined up with his squad for morning inspection. Impatient, he resisted the urge to fidget as he mentally urged the captain to hurry up so they could move on to the next part of the day.

Instead of dismissing them to breakfast, though, the captain stood at the front and surveyed the gathered platoons. Cloud's heart sank to his boots as he saw the expression on the man's face. _No,_ he begged, pleaded with whatever deity might deign to listen to him. _No, not_ today _. Please. Tomorrow, but not today!_

Nobody was listening, apparently, or if they were then they were being amused at Cloud's expense. "5th sword and 8th rifle have been chosen for deployment to the Northern Glacier, to investigate reports of monster activity in the ice fields," the captain announced. "We will be shipping out by transport airship at oh-nine-hundred today. Make sure you include your cold weather gear in your kits, and you will be issued additional special gear upon arrival. The general himself is leading this expedition, boys; make sure you show him why 5th sword is the best battalion in the army! Dismissed."

"You've got to be kidding me," Cloud groaned as he turned and trudged back to the barracks to start packing his kit. "We're all going to freeze. It's still winter up there!" Spring had come to Midgar, though the season hardly seemed to deserve the name in the area around the city. That far north, however, it would be a different story.

The weather wasn't why he was upset, of course, though he probably had a better sense of healthy respect for that kind of cold than most of his toonmates. It gave him an excuse to bitch, though, and that was what he really wanted.

At least they were going by airship. It wouldn't take more than half a day to get there, and he wouldn't be nearly as sick. Cloud was still getting teased by the men in his squad about his motion sickness from their last mission.

Once his own kit was packed, he took a moment to double-check the rest of his squad's gear. He'd slowly gotten used to the idea of being in charge of other troops, and the men in his squad had come to accept and even respect him, young as he was. That done, they joined the rest of the platoon heading for the airstrip.

The trip out wasn't too bad, all things considered. As a corporal Cloud was allowed up on deck, which helped his motion sickness further, and the rest of his unit had long since learned to recognize when he didn't want any company.

He knew he was sulking, but he felt he was at least a little entitled to it. Bahamut only knew when they'd be back from this assignment, and by then it was almost guaranteed Zack would be gone again. Sword and rifle companies could spend weeks or months stationed in Midgar, but SOLDIER units rarely stayed at the base for long. There wasn't enough for them to do in Midgar, and not enough of them available for everything outside of Midgar that required them.

Frigid air blasted them the moment they landed and stepped off the airship. Cloud shivered, even wrapped up in his winter gear, and he heard a few people around him cursing. It was no worse than winter in Nibelheim, but Cloud was rapidly reminded just why nobody in their right mind left their warm house more than was strictly necessary when the icy winds were coming down off the mountain.

They'd set down on a grassy plateau that ended in a cliff overlooking the ocean on one side, and a rapidly deepening snowfield on the other. If it was this cold here where there was still grass, Cloud shuddered to think what it would be like once they got out onto the snow.

Sephiroth and his unit of SOLDIERs had apparently beaten them there, or perhaps they'd already been here scouting and determined there was a need for further backup. There was a neat line of tents set up on the plateau, with plenty of room left for the two new companies of troops.

The general was waiting to brief them, the SOLDIERs lined up behind him. As the two companies of foot formed up in front of him, Cloud took a moment to glance over the SOLDIERs he could see. They were mostly 1st Class, but he was a little surprised to see a mix of 2nd Class and even a handful of 3rd Class included in the ranks. Usually if all three classes were present, the ratio was the other way around. This must be Sephiroth's personal unit, not just a group of SOLDIERs he'd assigned to come with him. Everybody knew only the best of the best made it into the general's direct command, and all of the 2nd and 3rd Classes present were probably on the fast track to 1st Class.

On the rare occasions Cloud had dared to dream beyond simply making it into SOLDIER, he'd pictured himself as part of that unit. He and Zack had talked about it, plotting various things they could do to make enough of a name for themselves to be assigned to that post. Seeing them and getting to work with them was almost as exciting as getting to work with the general himself.

Seeing they were assembled, Sephiroth nodded once and swept his eyes over them. "For those of you not familiar with the climate here, let me make this clear right off," he began. "The weather here is as much or more your enemy than any monsters you might encounter. A man can freeze to death out on the plains in mere minutes, without the right protection. Even with the best gear we can provide, getting lost out in the snowfields means certain death."

Gesturing behind him at the waiting SOLDIERs, he continued, "My troops have been here for weeks already, and have learned the pitfalls and dangers. I have assigned a SOLDIER to each platoon, and they will have ultimate command over your own lieutenants. I trust this will not cause any problems."

There was a note of warning in the general's deep voice, and Cloud winced mentally. There was often a bit of unfriendly rivalry between the SOLDIERs and the higher ranking regular troops. SOLDIERs were rarely put in direct command of regular troop units, for exactly that reason. This could indeed cause problems, though hopefully Sephiroth's presence would offset some of the worst of it.

"Go with your commanders for now, and set up camp," Sephiroth ordered them. "We'll be moving out for an initial recon foray in three hours. Dismissed."

The SOLDIERs moved forward, gathering up their assigned troops and pulling the officers and NCOs off for briefings. "Sword company D platoon, over here!" Cloud heard someone say, and he turned to try to find them. "I want corporals and above with me; the rest of you start setting up your tents and gear. You know the drill, move!"

The man's voice was familiar, even over the noise of the rest of the crowd. At first Cloud had been certain he was hearing things, but when he joined the rest of D platoons NCOs and the SOLDIER who'd taken charge of them pulled off his helmet, his heart leapt. "Yo," Zack greeted him with a wink and a grin, before turning his attention back to business. "All right, you all heard the general. I'm Second Lieutenant Zack, SOLDIER 3rd Class, and I'll be helping you to get organized and teaching you to survive out there."

Looking over all of them, he turned serious for a moment. "Trust me on this, nobody wants to get lost out there. Storms can sweep in on a minute's notice, and they're killer. Our main priority on any foray is two-fold - keeping track of each other, and keeping track of our direction. The snow all looks the same, and when you can't see the mountains for the clouds it's really damn easy to get turned around."

He gestured at a pile of gear behind him. "When we're out in the big open spaces, we'll be planting flags to help us keep track of where we're going and where we've been. There's a limited number of them, but we just pull up the last one as the tail end of the unit goes by and move it up to the front. All marching is done single-file, so only one person has to break trail at a time, and the front position will be traded off regularly. Just like a flock of geese," he added with a grin meant for all of them. "Any questions?"

"Sir, what about the monsters themselves?" another corporal asked. "What are we dealing with, more of the same sort that are in Midgar? How did they get here?"

"No," Zack shook his head, his eyes dark. "These aren't like any we've found anywhere else. They're specifically adapted to the extreme cold; most of them have some form of ice elemental attack, whether spell-based or otherwise. Thankfully we do have one advantage; many of them are weak to heat and fire, so everyone will be issued a Fire materia. Used judiciously, they'll be the best defence you'll have. As for how they got here..." he shrugged eloquently. "That's what we're here to find out. Anything else?"

Nobody said anything, so Zack nodded. "All right, then. We'll meet back here ten minutes before we head out; triple-check your equipment and the equipment of everyone in your squad. Lives depend on this, gentlemen. Dismissed."

They saluted him, Cloud feeling very odd doing so, and the others broke up and drifted off to find their squads. Cloud hung back, and was rewarded when Zack promptly grabbed him around the neck and ruffled his hair vigorously.

"You!" Cloud exclaimed, fighting him off with a laugh. "You made it into _General Sephiroth's private unit_ and you didn't _tell me_?"

"I got the transfer orders halfway through my last mission," Zack said cheerfully, his grin every bit as bright as Cloud had remembered. "Can you believe it? And I've got you to thank for it, you know."

"Me?" Cloud repeated, astonished. He couldn't imagine what _he_ could have done that would have caused Zack to get such a prestigious assignment.

"Yep!" Impossibly, Zack's grin widened further. "What you told him about me carrying you back to camp in Mideel even though I was hurt impressed him, apparently. Between that, our performance in the attack that night, and the now infamous paint gun incident, we both caught his attention. Did you know he arranged for us to be in the same unit after boot camp?"

"I did, actually," Cloud blinked, reminded of something the general had told him. "He said so when I first saw him in Mideel, when he asked where you were. I forgot about it, with everything that happened."

"Yeah, so, that put us on his radar," Zack told him. "When he saw us in the alley that day and realized he didn't know why I was a SOLDIER and you weren't, he went back and looked at the tapes of the exams."

"He did?" Cloud's voice was dismayed, and his ears burned with embarrassment. Damn it, so much for Sephiroth not having seen his humiliation in the battle arena.

On the other hand, it seemed to have gotten Zack a position he knew the other boy had dreamed of, and the pain of failing the exam was distant enough now that Cloud could be glad for his friend's sake. "You have the luck of the gods," Cloud accused his friend with an exaggerated sigh. "At this rate you'll be 1st Class before I even have a chance to take the exams again."

"I don't think the 'fast track' is _that_ fast," Zack said, squeezing Cloud's shoulder in sympathy. "So the bad news is, Sephiroth's unit is almost never in Midgar, even if he is." His sigh was no less deep than Cloud's had been, but it wasn't exaggerated. "The good news is, I've got the authority to make sure I'm always the one in charge of your unit when we do get to work together. And I'll bet you anything that you'll be assigned here when you pass the next exams; you impressed him as much as I did."

"How, by falling flat on my face in the arena?" Cloud asked, his flush deepening. Zack ruffled his hair again before he could dodge, and Cloud changed the subject hastily. "Anyway, isn't it some kind of conflict of interests or something to be in charge of your friend? I mean, won't people end up accusing you of favouritism and stuff?"

"I think it's just that Sephiroth is smart enough to know that having you in my unit means I'll be working five times as hard to make sure you all get through it alive," Zack shrugged. "Anyway, he knows we work well together. And I checked around, I'm not the only SOLDIER who's got standing requests about assignment preferences on record, not by a long shot. It's all on the up and up." He grinned again. "Now come on, get your ass in gear or you're not going to have time to get your squad organized. Move it, corporal!"

The last was barked in true drill sergeant style, and Cloud rolled his eyes at his friend even as he saluted. Zack returned the salute and waved him off, turning to go rejoin some of the other SOLDIERs.

Feeling so light he almost worried the wind would pick him up and toss him over the cliff, Cloud went to go check on his squad's tent and gear. They teased him, of course; he couldn't expect them to pass up such a prime opportunity. Despite the envious overtones, though, the teasing wasn't malicious, and as good as Cloud felt at that moment, it would have taken a great deal more to hurt him at all.

The rifle and sword platoons were mixed up and assigned in groups, with the higher-ranking SOLDIER in charge. In their case that meant Zack deferred to the 1st Class who had charge over the rifle platoon they were working with, but that just freed him to volunteer to take rearguard with Cloud.

As they walked out onto the snow plains from the grassy area, the difference in temperature was immediate and marked. "Hades, it's colder than Shiva's tits out here," one of the riflemen exclaimed, and Cloud had to agree. The wind was bitterly cold, and found every crack and seam in his armour and clothes to get to his body.

"Wait till you've been out here a few hours," Zack called up the line to whoever had complained. "Or for a night patrol. You'll be sure you're never going to get warm again."

Grinning, though the expression was mostly hidden by the scarf he'd wrapped around his neck and lower face, Cloud shook his head at his friend. "I seem to recall a conversation in Mideel where you referred to me as a 'mountain-bred wimp', or something along those lines. Care to eat your words, lieutenant?"

"Hey, that argument assumed habitable conditions," Zack protested. "This is not habitable!"

"Oh yeah? There's a settlement farther up the mountains, isn't there?" Cloud countered, his eyes sparkling as for once he was able to get the best of Zack in a debate. "If they're living in it, then by definition it's habitable. You're just a tropic-bred wimp, instead of a mountain-bred one."

Grumbling to himself, Zack flashed Cloud a rude gesture that was somewhat hampered by his heavy gloves, and Cloud laughed.

"All right, we're about to pass the outer sentries," the 1st Class called back. "We're going to circle around behind the town, and head down the mountains to the area they call Gaea's Cliff. That's where the patrols have been finding the highest concentration of monsters. The sky's clear, so we won't bother with the flags for now, but once we get down onto the glacier you can't orient yourself by the mountains any more. Pull in close to each other and start planting the markers once we get there."

There was a chorus of 'yes, sir!'s, and Cloud and Zack turned their attention to their flanks and rear. Teasing and catching up and generally enjoying being together could wait until they got back to camp; they were on duty now, and lives could depend on how alert they were.

A couple of monsters decided to try their luck on the group as they marched through the snowdrifts, but they were able to dispatch the threats without any problems. Cloud didn't even get his sword bloody; the riflemen took care of them from a distance, with a bit of backup from well-placed fire spells cast by the two SOLDIERs. Zack pointed out the town as they passed below it, though Cloud couldn't make out much other than the solid shapes of a couple of buildings.

Getting down into the valley was an adventure all in itself; they'd been equipped with skis, but the hill was steep enough to cause problems for all but the most experienced skiers in the group. Cloud had no trouble, and Zack's enhanced reflexes were clearly enough to make up for his relative inexperience, but the group suffered half a dozen wrenched joints, two broken legs and a badly sprained wrist by the time they made it to the bottom. Zack and the other SOLDIER used their Restore materia to cure the injuries each time, and Cloud shook his head as he looked back up the slope.

"How do we get back _up_ there?" he asked, disbelieving.

"There's a motorized lift that goes up to the town from farther to the east," Zack said, stepping off his skis now that they'd reached the bottom. The skis would have helped them move faster, but they cut manoeuvrability down drastically and that could mean the difference in a battle. "Or there's a place that's more of a switchback than this slope, where we can climb up if we're careful. We try to avoid disturbing the town more than we have to, which is why we take this way down."

"That, and their idea of a 'good' way down is throwing themselves off the side of a cliff with a board strapped to their feet," the other SOLDIER muttered as he passed them on his way back from healing the last injury. "And they make the slope down as difficult as bloody possible. Crazy bastards."

"Oh, snowboarding," Cloud nodded, understanding. "Come to think of it, I think I heard about that. They're trying to increase the tourist industry here by appealing to the adrenalin junkies, aren't they?"

"You would be into that kind of stuff," Zack rolled his eyes. "Well, feel free to try out the slopes if we get a leave day. The locals will love you forever if you're any good at it. As far as they're concerned, we're 'cheating' because we've got the enhanced reflexes."

Laughing softly, Cloud strapped his skis out of the way on his pack and took his place in line again. The snow wasn't as deep here, since there were enough trees to break up the wind and keep the worst of the drifts out.

Unfortunately, the monsters seemed to appreciate the easier conditions as much as they did, because they began to encounter them with increasing frequency.

"Bunnies?" Cloud exclaimed as he hacked down one of the animals in question. Behind him Zack was a blur of motion, graceful and deadly. He now wielded with one hand the same sort of buster sword he'd once had to drag behind him, and Cloud felt a twinge of jealousy. "We're being attacked by rabid rabbits?"

"Just about anything can be a monster these days," Zack said as he glanced around once to make certain there were no more enemies, and slung the sword across his back again. He wasn't even out of breath, Cloud saw with a sort of amused not-quite-resentment. "Check out the teeth on those bastards. Whatever animal they look like, those are carnivores."

"Keep your eyes peeled, we're going to hit the open snowfield soon," the 1st Class shouted back down the line. "The temperature's going to drop sharply, and once we're out of sight of the forest there are no landmarks. The mountains are all around, they're useless for navigation. Get the markers ready."

Cloud wasn't carrying any of the flags; as rearguard, it would be his and Zack's job to pick up the last flags and pass them back up to the front to be replanted. They would be the least likely to wander off course, with a full line of markers in front of them, but they would also be vulnerable to attack with nobody to protect their rear.

As promised, the temperature difference as they came out of the tree line was significant. Cloud started shivering despite himself, and the first gust of wind in the open nearly staggered him. Zack caught him by the sleeve and steadied him for the moment it took to get his feet back under him. Cloud grunted a thank-you; in air this cold, speaking was just asking for your lungs to freeze.

Careful to only breathe through his scarf, ignoring the way the deflected moisture turned to ice almost immediately on his face, Cloud slogged through the path left in the snow by the man in front of him. He could see right away why they were supposed to switch trailbreakers frequently; tramping down a path in these drifts would wear you out in no time.

For now the SOLDIER had point, though, and he wasn't likely to get tired any time soon. They kept their positions, doing their best to set a straight course through the snow. Twice the wind gusted and swirled around them, kicking up snow and completely turning Cloud around, but with the markers there to guide them they never lost their way.

In concentrating on fighting the elements, though, they almost forget that the weather wasn't their only enemy. The attack came out of another strong gust of wind, the monsters using the swirling snow to hide themselves until the last moment. The first shout of alarm from up front was lost in the howl of the wind, so Cloud and Zack had no warning when they were suddenly charged from both sides.

Swearing, Zack cast a fire spell over all the enemies on one side, and they screamed and writhed in pain. Cloud tried to put his back against his friend's to protect them both, but a lunge from some kind of ridiculously oversized flying wasp forced him away. Another one stung him from behind; the actual wound didn't go very deep, but it felt like the thing had injected liquid ice into his veins.

Cloud slashed at them with his sword, wishing for a moment that he was still in the rifle corps. They were much too fast for him to hit, even when they stayed low enough to be in range. Finally he remembered the Fire materia in his bracer; not the low-level one that had been given to everyone else, but the same mastered one he'd carried with him since Mideel. He'd managed to acquire a low-level All to go with it; he could only cast the first level spell if he was targeting multiple enemies, but it was enough to send the insects screaming into the snow.

He'd lost track of Zack, but the winds were starting to die again and he thought he could see the markers to his left. He turned to head for them, keeping a wary eye out for more enemies, and his eye was caught by a dark, humanoid figure in the snow. "Zack?" he called, thinking it was his friend for a moment.

Only for a moment; the figure was too slender to be Zack. It could be one of the others, though, and it seemed to be beckoning to him. He slogged through the snow in that direction, careful to keep the flags in sight. "Hey! Are you okay? Who's there?"

The wind kicked up again, and he lost track of the markers. He stopped moving instantly, waiting for it to die down so he could see them before he continued. The figure beckoned again, and when he didn't move it approached him.

He had just a moment to realize that it wasn't one of the other troops; it was in fact a blue-skinned woman dressed in so little she should have been frozen solid. Then she beckoned again, and suddenly Cloud couldn't remember why it was even important that she wasn't a trooper. She was lost, and helpless in the snow, and he was supposed to help her, right?

Taking a step closer to her, Cloud lost even that train of thought. Everything was spinning, and he felt like he was tumbling around in a strong current under water, unable to tell which way was up.

Something hit him hard and knocked him face first into the snow. He floundered, the powdery white drifts higher than he was, trying to find his way back to the surface. He lashed out with his sword as he struggled to his feet, not sure what he was doing but fairly certain that if something was hurting him, he was supposed to hurt it back. There was a shrill scream of pain, and suddenly his head cleared again. He found himself standing over the frozen body of the blue-skinned woman, his sword hacked halfway through her chest.

Except for the colour of her skin she looked enough like a human to make him sick at the sight of her death. By sheer strength of will he managed not to throw up, jerking his sword out of the body and staggering back.

Coughing, hardly able to breathe in the frozen air, he quickly tugged his scarf back up over his face and looked around. The wind was blowing again, and he had no idea what direction he was facing or how far he'd come from the rest of the group. Even when the wind dropped, visibility was still poor more than ten feet away; he couldn't see anything but the falling snow.

"Zack?" he called hoarsely, his voice cracking with cold. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "Zack? Zack! Trey, Adam, where are you? Zack! Colin! _Zack_!"

There was no answer, his voice ripped to shreds and carried away by the wind. Turning slowly in a circle, he strained to catch sight of something, _anything_ , in the snow.

Only blowing white met his eyes. He was cut off from the group, with no idea how to get back to them or even to the forest. He could feel the chill creeping under his clothes to leach the heat away from his body.

In short, he was lost... and they'd already been warned that getting lost out here was as good as being dead.


	18. Chapter 18

No matter where he looked, all Cloud could see was blowing snow. The wind had continued to pick up, rather than dropping again, and it didn't take him long to realize that not all the snow in the air was being kicked up from the ground. There was a storm moving in, and it looked like it was going to be a bad one.

Shivering, Cloud stood in the knee-deep drifts and tried to decide what to do. He'd shouted himself hoarse, but if there had been an answer he hadn't heard it over the rising noise of the wind. He was well and truly lost.

Wracking his brain, he tried to remember any advice he'd ever heard of for a situation like this. You were supposed to stay in one place if you were lost, he was pretty sure. Otherwise, if someone came looking for you they could miss you entirely as you wandered around in circles.

There were two problems with that, though. One, he wasn't sure anybody would be coming to look for him. Oh, he had no doubts that Zack would _want_ to, was in fact probably on the verge of going ballistic as he realized Cloud was missing. But Zack was a good enough SOLDIER and a responsible enough officer to realize that his first priority was to the thirty or so people in the platoon he was in charge of who _were_ still where they were supposed to be. With a storm blowing in, he and the 1st Class would be pushing everyone hard to get off the open plains and find shelter somewhere. That took precedence over a likely futile search for one lost trooper, even if the trooper was his best friend.

Two, the wind was literally cold enough to freeze a man where he stood. He was shivering badly, which was a good sign and he knew better than to try to stop. Shivering was his body's way of trying to generate heat; if he _stopped_ , it meant his body had given up and was just trying to conserve what little he had left in his torso, and he would be in severe risk of frostbite.

It wouldn't take long to reach that point at these temperatures. Looking around again, Cloud bit his lip. He could dig a shelter in the snow and settle himself in to wait out the storm, it was more than deep enough in the larger drifts. The problem was, even when the storm was over the winds would still be blowing enough to keep him from finding his way back. Without any way to mark his trail he would wander in circles forever. And if anyone _was_ looking for him, or if another patrol happened to come this way, they'd never see him.

The only thing for it was to keep moving, he decided. He was in a contained valley; if he could use his footprints as markers to keep him going straight, eventually he would fetch up against either the cliff or the forest.

Briefly he debated using his skis, but he needed the depth of his footprints to leave a trail the wind wouldn't erase in moments. Plus, if the monsters attacked from out of the snow again he didn't want to be hampered by the skis.

Hunching in on himself to try to present as little surface to the wind as possible, Cloud started slogging his way through the snow. He checked behind him frequently to try to make sure his trail was staying straight, though as the storm worsened he quickly became unable to see more than a few inches behind him.

Still, at least moving was keeping him relatively warm. He made an effort to make his motions as big as possible, trying to keep the blood flowing to his extremities. It wouldn't take long before he started to get tired, and then he wasn't sure what he was going to do, but he did his best not to think of it.

He was attacked twice; once by more of the little stinging insects, which he managed to dispatch with his sword this time, and once by an odd sort of flying snake. Cloud would have expected a snake to be the _last_ sort of creature to make its home out here, but apparently this one took the idea of being 'cold-blooded' to an extreme.

It was too fast and agile for him, and in the end he had to resort to using his Fire materia again. Unfortunately that used up the last of his magical energy, and he didn't have any ethers with him. He had his bedroll, but if he once lay down to sleep he knew he'd never get up again.

Panting, trying not to breathe in more of the frigid air than he had to, Cloud sheathed his sword and tried to summon enough energy to start moving again. One foot at a time, that was the key; don't think beyond the next step.

Something made him pause before he'd gotten more than a few feet away. He knew he shouldn't stand still, but he circled slowly in place as he tried to figure out what had caught his attention. There was a lull in the wind although the snow was still falling thickly; it was possible he'd heard another monster trying to creep up on him.

Distantly he heard it again, or thought he did. A shout, barely audible over the wind, but that sound hadn't come from any animal's throat. Heart pounding, Cloud started struggling through the snow in the direction of the shout. If there was another patrol somewhere nearby, they could march right past him and never know he was there if he didn't move fast. "Hey!" he called as loudly as he could. "Is someone there? Hey!"

This time, the shout was barely recognizable as a word. "Cloud!" At the sound of his name, Cloud's heart beat faster and his eyes went wide. Had someone come looking for him after all? They'd have to be suicidal.

"Zack? Zack!" he shouted back. It couldn't possibly be anyone else.

"Cloud! I hear you, keep shouting!" Zack called, a little closer this time. "Don't move, or we'll miss each other!"

"I'm here, over here!" Cloud said, his voice cracking with cold and exhaustion. "Zack!"

A snow covered figure stumbled out of the wall of white that was the blizzard, nearly trampling Cloud. "Zack!" Cloud exclaimed as his friend pushed his helmet up to reveal familiar grey-violet eyes that glowed dimly with the power of mako. "How did you _find_ me?"

"Sheer dumb luck," Zack replied, catching Cloud in a tight hug. "I've been wandering around looking for you, and I was about to start panicking when I saw the energy from the fire spell you cast back there. Dumbass, didn't you hear me tell everyone to stay together no matter what?"

"I think I got hit by a confuse spell," Cloud admitted, hugging back as best he could with limbs that felt like they'd turned to wood. He'd stopped shivering at some point, he realized. Not a good sign. "The next thing I knew I was in the middle of the snow and had no idea how to get back."

Looking around and not seeing any sign of markers that Zack had been leaving, he added, "So how were _you_ planning on getting back? Now we're both just lost out here."

"Markers wouldn't have done me any good while I was looking for you," Zack said with a shrug. " _Now_ we'll start leaving them, and if we keep going straight eventually we'll make it to shelter. Get your skis out, we'll make better time on them."

They scrambled onto their skis, and Zack produced four of the collapsible poles that they'd been using for markers. As they moved forward they leap-frogged past each other, each one taking the lead to plant two new poles, then staying still while the other uprooted the last two and moved past. It was slow, but it was progress, and Cloud was pretty sure they were moving in at least a relatively straight line.

It wasn't long before Cloud started falling behind, though. He was still more than half frozen, and his movements became more and more sluggish. When Zack noticed he skied back to Cloud, pulling up alongside him. "You okay?"

"I can't... I can't go much further," Cloud gasped, leaning heavily on his poles in the snow. "I'm so tired, Zack. I just need to rest..."

"Don't you dare!" Zack sounded shrill, and if Cloud hadn't known better he'd have described the older boy's tone as 'panicked'. "Don't you dare fall asleep on me, Cloud. Come on, we've gotta be getting close to something. The glacier's not _that_ big. Just keep moving, one ski in front of the other, that's it..."

He coaxed Cloud along, and the blonde did his best, but it was clear to both of them that he wasn't going to last much longer. Almost Cloud wished the monsters would attack them; the adrenalin would have helped wake him up, and the movement would have warmed him a little. Of course, the one time they actually wanted to run into monsters was when the beasts decided to leave them alone.

"Wait. There!" Zack suddenly exclaimed, skiing up beside Cloud and pointing into the snow. "See? I told you we'd make it if we just kept going!"

Cloud squinted in the indicated direction, but he couldn't see anything beyond the blank white flakes. "What are you talking about? There's nothing there but snow." He wondered if Zack was seeing things; it could happen to people left out too long in the odd sort of sensory deprivation created by a blizzard.

"You don't see it?" Zack glanced at him, then back to where he was pointing, and shrugged. "It's a Fire 3 spell, somebody shot it straight into the air. I guess I must be seeing the heat or something. Same way I found you. Come on, we're close!"

Nudging Cloud forward, Zack took a moment to send up a spell of his own to let the other trooper know the signal had been seen. Cloud could only follow the path of the spell up a few feet before it was hidden by the snow, but Zack seemed to be able to see it all the way up. Maybe the older boy really could see some sort of energy out there.

Even with the signal they almost missed it. Something made Cloud look twice at the oddly shaped drift just barely visible to their right, and after a moment he realized the reason it looked strange was because of the dark patch that had to be some kind of opening. "Zack! There!" he croaked, gesturing. His hands were too frozen for something like pointing.

"I see it!" Zack agreed, abandoning the poles and heading for the structure. It turned out to be a sort of rocky outcropping, so covered in snow it was almost indistinguishable from the surrounding landscape. They kicked off their skis and staggered up to the opening, where they had to crawl on all fours to get inside.

Inside it was markedly warmer, not just because they were out of the wind. From the looks of it a Fire spell had been cast on a pile of rocks in the centre of the floor, and now they were radiating a gentle heat as they slowly cooled. Cloud pushed off his helmet and quickly started stripping out of the outer layer of his clothes. It was more important to be dry than to have lots of layers, at least for the moment.

"So you found him after all." Some part of Cloud had known that somebody else had to be in here with them, because somebody had been here to send up the signal and heat the rocks. Even so, the deep voice startled his cold-muddled brain, and he jumped. A moment later he froze, recognizing the long-haired figure in black crouched on the other side of the cave.

"Yes, sir," Zack said, and his voice was cheerful despite being hoarse from the cold. "You doubted me? I told you I'd bring him back."

"Given that you were more than half hysterical and insisting on going back out into the storm after bringing your unit to safety, forgive me for not putting much faith in your words, lieutenant," Sephiroth said dryly. "Judging by the state you're both in, I daresay neither of you would have made it back if I hadn't come out here to provide a signal for you to follow." Glancing at Cloud where he was still motionless to one side, the general lifted an eyebrow. "You had the right idea, corporal. You need to get out of the wet clothes, quickly."

"Y-yes sir," Cloud stammered, the stutter caused as much by embarrassment and awe as chattering teeth. He returned to fumbling himself out of his gear with fingers made clumsy by the cold.

"Thank you, sir," Zack added, more subdued as he also stripped his outer gear. "You shouldn't have had to come out here after us. I'm sorry I ran off like that. Is everyone else okay?"

"At last count there were still about a dozen people unaccounted for, including the two of you," Sephiroth informed them as they moved further into the cave. "The rest of the SOLDIERs are sweeping the area, using fire spells to stay in contact, but frankly I doubt we'll find anyone alive at this point."

The mildly curious look he gave Cloud made the blonde flush and stammer, unable to get the words out. How horribly embarrassing, to get drawn away from his platoon and force his best friend _and_ the general himself to come out after him.

"I told you he'd still be alive, sir," Zack said over Cloud's sputtering. "He's from the mountains, I knew he'd know what to do. Besides," he grinned and reached over to ruffle Cloud's hair with an ungloved hand, "the little bastard's too damn stubborn to just lie down and die. He was still moving and fighting when I found him."

"Zack!" Cloud snapped, shoving his hand away and blushing even harder. Did Zack _have_ to treat him like a little kid in front of the general of all people? The word was hardly out of his mouth before he remembered just where he was and who he was with. "Uh. I mean, lieutenant. Sir."

To his shock, Sephiroth chuckled softly. "At ease, corporal. We're going to be trapped in here for quite some time, until the worst of the storm passes. Even I don't want to attempt to navigate in these conditions. I hardly expect you to refer to a close friend by his rank when you're not on duty."

"Technically we are on duty, sir," Zack pointed out with another grin. "But I'm not going to complain. I still look around to see where the officer is lurking every time he calls me that."

Zack had stripped down to his sleeveless uniform top and pants, and to Cloud's amazement Sephiroth was still wearing the same shirtless uniform he always did. Both of them seemed perfectly at ease in the warmth radiating from the rocks, but even in a heavy sweater and two layers of clothing Cloud was still freezing. He inched closer to the heat, holding his hands towards it and hoping he hadn't suffered too badly from frostbite.

"You're shivering, corporal," Sephiroth noted quietly. "Are you warming up or still cooling down?"

"Warming up, sir," Cloud assured him, clenching his teeth so they wouldn't chatter. "The shivering is a good sign. I'll be fine, sir."

"Since when is shivering a good sign?" Zack asked, blinking. "If you're not shivering then that's better, isn't it?"

"You've been here weeks already and you haven't learned the signs of danger from cold?" Cloud asked his friend incredulously. "When you _stop_ shivering, that's bad. The fact that I've started again means I'm warming up."

"If you say so." Zack looked doubtful, but was apparently willing to take his word for it. "General, sir, forgive me for asking, but what's the situation here? Do you think it's just a coincidence that the worst storm yet hit just as we were bringing in reinforcements?"

"I hesitate to assume our enemy has the ability to control the weather," Sephiroth replied quietly, "but I also can't deny the possibility. Certainly it seems beyond coincidence that the monsters in the area were intelligent enough to attack when the visibility was poorest. Someone is directing them."

"It's the same guy from Mideel, isn't it?" Zack asked shrewdly, leaning back against the wall of the cave and tapping one foot thoughtfully. "The one who got away, the scientist. This is the same pattern he had; attack in force and by surprise."

"All information from that mission is classified," Sephiroth reminded them mildly, but Cloud thought there was approval in his tone. "I can neither confirm nor deny the possibility of it relating to the current events. If it were the same man, however, we would do well to be on guard at all times. He was Hojo's primary assistant; he is brilliant, and that makes him both dangerous and unpredictable."

Listening to them, Cloud huddled in on himself and stared at the faint red glow of the heated rocks, marvelling that he would ever find himself in such a situation. Sitting here listening to his best friend casually discuss classified matters with _Sephiroth_ , talking as if they were practically friends. That was Zack, though. It shouldn't have surprised Cloud that he would be able to make friends even with the general. He'd managed to make a friend out of Cloud, after all.

"This pretty much shoots down the theory that the monsters are related to the reactors, doesn't it sir?" Zack tried a different topic. "I mean, the ones in Mideel were the same type we'd seen in Hojo's labs, so the guy could have just brought them with him. But these are totally different, and obviously specifically adapted for this environment."

"The matter of the monsters' connection to the reactors is classified as well," Sephiroth said, and this time Cloud was sure there was a glint of amusement in his eyes. "As are the results of Professor Hojo's attempts to duplicate the effects on normal animals. The existence of which is also classified."

"Right, okay," Zack nodded, clearly stifling a grin. Cloud wondered idly if that meant the wolf-like monster really _had_ been a Nibel wolf, altered by mako. Had it been captured in the wild, or was it something Hojo had created in his experiments? "So, is there anything we can talk about that isn't classified?"

"Certainly. We can discuss the weather," Sephiroth replied in a perfectly even tone, and Zack cracked up. Cloud remembered their awe and disbelief when the general had made a joke back in the boot camp exam, and a faint smile curved his lips. He wondered if there was anyone other than him outside the general's elite unit who knew that Sephiroth had a sense of humour. For that matter, he wondered how many people _in_ the unit knew. Zack had a unique ability to draw people out of their shells.

"You're being awfully quiet over there, Cloud," Zack observed. "You've stopped shivering, at least. I could hear your teeth chattering from all the way over here. Warm enough?"

"Mmm. Tired," Cloud replied, somewhat indistinctly. With an effort, he roused himself to more coherency. "It was exhausting out there." At least he wasn't cold any more. He wasn't exactly warm, but he supposed he could only expect so much. Though he still had no idea how Zack and Sephiroth could be comfortable sitting around wearing so little.

The general gave him a sharp look, but Zack just laughed and reached over to ruffle his hair. Cloud didn't have the energy to dodge, or even try to bat him away. "Yeah, I bet. You're so little, those drifts must have been halfway up to your... _Hades_ , Cloud, you're frozen solid!" he broke off with a yelp as his hand brushed over Cloud's cheek. "Why didn't you say you were cold?"

"Not cold," Cloud countered, his words sluggish and his mind refusing to process things at anything resembling normal speed. Vaguely he wondered when he'd been hit by the Slow spell, and why.

The word General Sephiroth bit off in the middle sounded suspiciously like a curse as he reached over and discovered for himself how cold Cloud's skin was. "I'm not used to working with non-SOLDIERs," he said, shaking his head. "I'd forgotten how vulnerable normal people are to temperature extremes. Look at me, corporal."

Slowly Cloud lifted his eyes to meet Sephiroth's, though it took a massive effort of will. "Do not fall asleep," the general ordered him sternly. Obeying him was an ingrained reflex, and Cloud struggled to wake up more in response. "Lieutenant, get him down to his last layer and get in behind him, curl up around him."

"Shit, Cloud, you stupid idiot," Zack said, his voice shaking as badly as his hands as he fumbled to get the younger boy's tunic and the sweater beneath it off. That left Cloud in only his thin cotton undershirt and some part of him was aware that he should have felt cold, but he didn't. "You should have said you weren't warm enough when we first got here!"

"You an' th' general were fine," Cloud said, his voice a little slurred with the effort of speaking. Zack was working on his pants now, tugging Cloud's boots off so he could remove the pants and leaving behind only the thermal underpants beneath. " 'F a tropic-wimp like you c'n handle it, so c'n I."

"We're SOLDIERs, stupid," Zack scolded him, settling in behind him and tugging Cloud back against his chest, his legs on either side of the younger boy's hips. "We're resistant to extreme cold and heat. Didn't you notice that none of the SOLDIERs was wearing half as much gear as the troopers? Yeah, it's colder than Shiva's tits and I'm happy to bitch about it, but unlike you I'm not in any immediate danger of dying from it!"

"How w's I s'ppos'd to know?" Cloud demanded, sleepily indignant. Damn it, so much for his moment of superiority over Zack. "I... shit!" He gasped in pain, wriggling to try to escape the sudden stabbing needles of pain that washed over him. It took him a moment to realize that it wasn't a physical attack, just the backwash of heat from the Fire 3 Sephiroth had cast.

The general directed the flame over the outer walls of the shelter, heating the rocks there so they would give off warmth as well. He spent the last of the spell on the stones in the centre, bringing them back to red-hot temperatures. "There," he said, dropping the hand with his bracer. "I know it's painful, corporal, but you're going to have to endure it. You need to get warm quickly."

Then, before Cloud could even think to protest or object, the general swept off his long jacket and draped it sideways over Zack's shoulders like a blanket, tucking it in around Cloud. The leather was warm and smelled like spice and winter; Cloud wasn't sure if that was just from the environment, or whether it was Sephiroth's own scent. He was dizzy at the very thought that he was _wearing the general's jacket_.

"What about you, sir?" Zack asked, looking at the older man in concern as Sephiroth settled in near the rocks in the centre again. "I mean, I... I wouldn't _mind_ having to warm you up like this, but it's not going to do us much good if the two of you are just taking turns being frozen." Cloud was slightly gratified to discover that not even Zack could say something like _that_ to the general without blushing.

"Thank you for your concern, lieutenant, but I'm fine," Sephiroth shook his head. "I can withstand temperatures far more extreme than even the SOLDIERs 1st Class. The warmth from the rocks is more than enough for me."

"If... if you say so, sir," Zack said, sounding slightly awed. "Uh, thank you. Since he doesn't seem to be in any shape to say it for himself."

Cloud was huddled in against Zack's chest, no longer sleepy thanks to the pain of the warmth, but unable to say anything past the teeth he'd clenched on a scream of agony. He would _not_ embarrass himself further in front of Sephiroth by shrieking like a little girl, damn it.

The general was watching them with an odd look on his face, an expression Cloud couldn't even begin to interpret. Belatedly it occurred to Cloud that they might seem just a little more familiar with each other in this position than two men should be, and he tried to pull away a bit.

"Don't," Zack whispered, barely loud enough for Cloud to hear him as he held the younger boy in place against him. "I don't think he cares, and it's more important for you to get warm, anyway. Stay put."

Settling back again, Cloud glanced at the general and discovered the man was looking away now; not deliberately, but simply as if he didn't want to twist his neck to look at them and so he'd turned his gaze to the heated rocks in front of them. There was an awkward silence for a moment, before Sephiroth cleared his throat softly.

"So," he said, in a perfectly bland tone. "I believe the traditional opening to discussions of non-classified weather is something along the lines of 'Cold out today, isn't it?' "

Zack started to laugh helplessly, and even Cloud gave a raspy chuckle. It was going to be a long couple of hours while they waited for the storm to abate, but at least they could still find the humour in the situation.


	19. Chapter 19

A soft but persistent beeping drew Cloud out of sleep. It was very odd to wake up without reveille playing loudly somewhere nearby, and for a moment he was disoriented. The fact that his 'bed' was warm and solid and apparently breathing didn't help his confusion.

It was Sephiroth's voice that reminded where he was, as the general picked up his PHS and said "Report." Blinking sleepily, Cloud lifted his head and discovered that he was still tucked against Zack's body with Sephiroth's jacket draped over them both like a blanket. Zack had at some point leaned back against the wall and dozed off as well.

Either they hadn't been asleep very long, or Sephiroth had renewed the fire spell heating the walls, because it was still comfortably warm in the cave. Given the ruddy sunlight spilling in from the entrance, Cloud was betting on the latter. It must be sunset, or close to it.

"Guess the communications network is working again now that the storm is past," Zack murmured in his ear, shifting to stretch slowly. "None of the PHS units were functioning yesterday. Better get up, we'll probably be leaving soon."

Stifling a yawn, Cloud sat up and worked his way out of the nest created by Zack's body and the jacket. He was stiff and a little sore from sleeping in such an awkward position, but not bad all things considered. Once he got moving again his body would warm and loosen up. Outside of the warmth of the thick leather jacket he started shivering again, and quickly reached for the rest of his clothes and equipment.

The sound of a soft but heartfelt curse from Sephiroth startled Cloud into dropping the sweater he'd been about to put on. Looking over, he saw the man closing his PHS with a dark look on his face.

"Bad news, sir?" Zack asked, his voice worried. "How many did we lose?"

"Surprisingly few, all things considered," Sephiroth said, standing gracefully and moving to take his jacket back. "Unfortunately it seems our quarry used the cover of the storm to make an escape. Two of the SOLDIERs stumbled across his base while out searching for survivors, and it's completely empty."

"Damn!" Zack's curse was no less heartfelt than the general's had been. "That's at least twice he's gotten out as soon as reinforcements he knew he couldn't handle arrived. He's _got_ to have an inside informant somewhere. Someone who can monitor troop movements."

"Classified, lieutenant," Sephiroth reminded him with an oblique glance at Cloud. "And yes I know you were there as well, corporal, but if you'll recall none of you were cleared to know the information you received then."

"I understand, sir," Cloud shrugged. "Uh... for what it's worth, though, the sword and rifle companies assigned here aren't the same ones that were in Mideel. As far as I know Zack and I were the only troopers who were in Mideel who are here now."

"And quite a few of the SOLDIERs here," Zack told him. "We were a little too distracted at the time to realize it, but that was a unit of the Specials that came with the general to Mideel. But you don't really think it's one of _us_ tipping the guy off, do you sir?"

Sephiroth opened his mouth, but Zack waved him off before he could say anything. "I know, I know. Classified. Damn it, how are we ever supposed to figure anything out if everything is classified?"

"It's not your job to 'figure things out', lieutenant," Sephiroth said, amusement once again clear in his voice. "That falls to those of us who _have_ the clearance to know the classified information. Your job, at the moment at least, is to focus on getting back to camp."

"Yes, sir," Zack said, though his salute was a bit flippant. Cloud sighed quietly and shook his head, hiding his smile by pulling his sweater over his head. Zack would be Zack, even with Sephiroth. He was clearly stilled awed by and respectful of the man, but it was 'respectful' in Zack's own unique way. Thankfully Sephiroth seemed to take it in the spirit in which it was intended, rather than taking offence as many officers would have.

"Well, at least it's bright and sunny out there, and our goggles will protect us from going snow-blind," Zack said cheerfully as he tugged his coat on and slung his sword over his back again. "Sounds like the wind has died down, too. We shouldn't have any trouble finding our... uh." The dark-haired boy had crouched to crawl through the opening, and paused. "Um. Sir? We have a small problem."

Cloud was closer, so he got there first, leaning down to peer outside. It didn't take long to figure out what Zack had seen. "Whoa!" he exclaimed, eyes wide as he surveyed the rows and rows of monsters arrayed in front of the door, waiting patiently. "You've got to be kidding me!"

Tugging him back as Sephiroth approached, Zack got them both out of the way so the general could see. "That's got to be every damn monster on the glacier! And they're just _sitting_ out there, waiting. That's not natural."

"Very little about these beasts is natural, lieutenant," Sephiroth said dryly, crouching to see out the portal. "Though this is certainly confirmation that they're being controlled by..."

He broke off suddenly and snapped out the words of an Ice 2 spell, jerking back out of the entrance. The spell froze over the opening, creating a thick shield of ice. Moments later Cloud heard the dull impact of bodies on the other side.

"It seems they were waiting for me to put in an appearance," the general said, his glowing green eyes narrowed. "Our enemy knew or guessed at my presence here, and sent them to wait for me. They ignored both of you, and attacked the moment they saw me."

Wincing at the sound of a much louder thud, accompanied by the cracking of ice, Cloud looked at Zack and the general. "That won't keep them out for long."

"Another few hits, and it'll be gone," Zack agreed. "We can call for reinforcements, but by the time they get here it'll all be over. It takes hours to get here from camp."

"There should be at least one group still here in the valley," Sephiroth said, pulling out his PHS again. It only took a moment for him to issue the necessary orders, but in that time Cloud could see the ice shield was already falling apart.

"One more good hit, and they're through," Zack warned, one hand on the hilt of his buster sword.

"Stay behind me," Sephiroth ordered, straightening and putting a hand on Masamune. "At all times, both of you. I don't want you caught in the blast radius of an area effect spell."

"We've got your back, sir," Zack said, his eyes glowing brighter than usual with the anticipation of a fight. "Right?" He tilted his head and winked at Cloud.

Nodding once, firmly, Cloud drew his own sword. "Right." He was more than a little nervous about going to battle against a sea of monsters, knowing he wouldn't be able to keep up with Zack or the general, but he certainly wasn't going to cower in here while the other two fought!

"Let's do it!" Zack cheered, and Cloud thought he caught a glimpse of a small smile on the general's face before the man was obscured by a rising green glow of powerful magic.

The ground shook, and a large chunk of the side of the cavern fell away. Cloud had to squint against the sudden bright light, even through the dark lenses of his helmet, but that didn't stop him from charging out with Zack right behind the general. Masamune swept a clear path through the monsters in front, while Zack and Cloud chopped at the ones trying to come in on their flanks.

Everything slowed down, as if he was watching the world in slow-motion. At the same time the air in front of him shimmered momentarily with colour, and Cloud realized the general had caste Haste and Wall on all three of them. The protection of the Barrier and MBarrier would wear off soon enough, but the Haste would remain and it would give them an advantage they would need.

Taking the opportunity while the protection lasted, Cloud let himself be a little more bold than he usually would be in attacking the monsters. Sephiroth had manoeuvred them so their back was mostly protected by the undamaged part of the rock outcropping, so they only had to deal with attacks from three sides.

Cloud's world narrowed to the uneven rhythm of a sword fight. Slash, block, thrust, parry, slash again. Keep moving, because standing still was just asking for something to take you by surprise. Don't let your guard down, don't let yourself get drawn too far from your group, and above all, _don't die_.

The flying creatures were the most difficult to deal with. Thankfully they didn't seem to have much in the way of long range attacks, so they had to get within reach of a sword in order to hit. They liked to hover just out of reach, waiting for you to look away to defend yourself from a ground strike before they darted in to bite or sting. If you kept an eye on them, though, then the rabbits or golems or other land monsters would take advantage of your distraction. The only thing for it was to dodge them as best you could, and hack away at the beasts on the ground.

Sephiroth moved like lightning in human form, sunlight flashing off his blade and his long silver hair. Cloud couldn't help but wish he had the time to just _watch_ , because he was sure it would be a mesmerizing sight. Every so often the general would clear enough space around him to allow him to sheath his sword briefly and concentrate on a spell, and then lightning or fire or even a summon would rain down on a group of enemies.

At his back Zack was less graceful and deadly than the general, but still a terror in his own right. Cloud couldn't see much of him, but he could sense Zack's movements as they fought back to back, covering each other and the general as well. It really was like an odd sort of dance, trying to anticipate your partner so you didn't leave gaps in your defences.

As the bodies piled up around them, the monsters couldn't charge them as fast. On the other hand, Cloud at least was starting to get tired, his swings growing sloppy and uncontrolled as his muscles protested the abuse he was putting them through. He'd sustained half a dozen minor injuries, any one of which was barely significant but which taken together were slowing him down. The Haste was still in effect, but the Barrier and MBarrier had long since faded.

Panting and trying to get his breath in the frozen air, Cloud firmed his grip on his sword and grimly continued to fight. If he gave up, if he fell, then Zack and Sephiroth would be unprotected for a crucial minute until they realized what had happened. There was no way Cloud was going to let anything get through him to hurt his friend and the general, not while he was still alive.

One of the flying snakes dive-bombed him, and he took a step back to dodge and give him room to thrust up at it. He managed to skewer it and the weight of the body pulled his sword down and off-centre, breaking his defence. Two of the golems rushed in to take the opportunity, slashing at him and nearly knocking him over. His armour kept him from being cut in half but he still felt the full crushing force of the blows. With a wild yell he wrenched his sword around and slammed it into their sides, snake carcass and all.

The golems were nearly impossible to kill with physical attacks, but he'd damaged one of them enough previously that it fell apart under the impact. The other was staggered and fell, promptly lashing out at Cloud's legs from its prone position.

He tried to hop over the attack, but he wasn't fast enough. Crying out a warning to Zack and Sephiroth he went down, rolling in the snow to avoid the blow he knew would be coming. The golem's arm plunged deep into the snow, trapping it long enough for Cloud to reposition himself beneath it. With a grunt of effort he kicked up and flipped the thing off him and onto its back, and staggered to his feet.

The golem was struggling to get upright again, but there were plenty of enemies willing to take its place. He was hurt, badly enough that he wasn't sure he'd be able to stay standing, let alone move and dodge. Taking deep breaths to help him ignore the pain, he moved back to his place at Zack's back and braced himself for the next rush.

Something tingled as it descended over him, and for a moment he thought it was an attack by one of the fliers. He flailed to try to throw it off, but even as he moved he saw that his arms were covered in dull red magic that was rapidly spreading over the rest of his body. In his distraction one of the insects managed to jab him, but the sting of the injury barely even registered before it was gone.

Regen was a spell Cloud knew only from his textbooks; he'd never seen it cast before. He recognized it when he saw it, though, and felt strength flooding back into his limbs. "Thanks!" he called to whichever of them had cast it on him, and waded back into the fray. It wouldn't last forever, and a strong enough blow could still knock him out, but for at least a few minutes he was more or less invulnerable.

He slashed at the largest creatures, ignoring the small ones for the moment since they couldn't cause more damage to him than the Regen spell could heal almost instantly. Desperately he wished for a stronger sword; the standard issue sword was good enough for drilling and even fighting humans, but some of these things had tough armour. Zack wasn't having nearly as much trouble as he was, and the Masamune cleaved through everything it touched as easily as Fire 3 could melt snow.

If he couldn't have a better weapon, a crate of ethers would have been an acceptable substitute. Cloud had been hoarding his own magic since he had no way of recharging his energy. Sephiroth either had plenty of restorative items with him, or just had so much magic energy that he wasn't worried about running out.

To say that the attack from behind caught him by surprise was an understatement. If anyone was going to break and let the enemy get at their vulnerable backs, Cloud had assumed it would be _him_ , not Zack. The blow was hard enough to knock him to his knees, and his numb fingers dropped his sword into the snow. Only the Regen spell let him stay conscious at all, and somehow he managed to gather enough wits to roll away in case another attack was coming.

His armour was dented badly enough to make it hard for him to draw breath. He was almost amazed his spine was still in one piece. As he rolled onto his back, Cloud struggled to his feet again and looked to see what had made it past Zack's defence.

Only to find himself barely able to dodge a swing from the massive buster sword. It wasn't an enemy at all; it was Zack.

Zack was attacking him. _Zack_ was attacking _him_. It took Cloud's poor beleaguered brain a few moments to work through that astonishing revelation, but thankfully his reflexes and the Regen spell kept him in one piece as Zack hit him again. Blocking the next thrust desperately with his own sword, Cloud tried to draw enough air to shout. "Zack! What are you _doing_?"

The older boy hesitated, drawing back for a moment, and Cloud saw the way he was reeling as if he was in a daze. Zack's steps were unsteady, his expression confused, and when he turned to hack at a golem that had swiped at him, it was clearly a reflexive action.

Looking past his friend, Cloud caught sight of a familiar blue figure standing safely out of sword range behind another group of monsters. For a wild moment he thought it was the same woman he'd killed earlier, but then he spotted another one further out. They were absolutely identical, as was the third one he saw on the other side. That more than anything reassured Cloud that they were indeed monsters, not just mutated humans.

Quickly averting his eyes, hoping that would keep him from being trapped as well, Cloud ducked another attack from Zack. The tingling feel of the Regen spell had worn off now; one good blow from his friend and Cloud would be out of the fight, if not dead. "General!" he shouted. "The blue women, they cast Confuse or something similar to it! Be careful of them!"

Reaching for the energy in his materia, Cloud mentally unhooked the All from his Fire and targeted the blue woman closest to them, presumably the one who'd gotten Zack. She went down in a screaming column of flame, but her death didn't free Zack as Cloud had hoped. The older boy was attacking a monster again, but it was clear that he wasn't in control of his actions.

Something impacted Zack on the chest and broke open, releasing the sharp smell of herbs and chemicals. Cloud recognized the distinctive scent of a remedy, and a moment later Zack blinked and shook his head. "What the..."

"Keep away from the blue ones if you can," Sephiroth said tersely, targeting another of the women with a burst of flame. "I'll take care of them; they can't reach me past the protection I have equipped. Concentrate on the rest of them."

"Watch out!" Zack said, his eyes wide as he lunged past Cloud like a human lightning bolt. He swung his massive sword and cut right through the rabbit that had been about to strike Cloud from behind.

Cloud didn't even have a chance to say thanks before he had to counter an attack from a snake. Shrugging to himself, Cloud figured they might as well stay where they were, and he settled in to fight on the other side of the group.

There was no way to tell how long they fought after that. Cloud didn't exactly have time to check his watch between enemies, and the Haste spell made everything seem to drag on endlessly. Every time one of them started to flag from exhaustion or injuries Sephiroth would cast Regen on them, and they just kept right on fighting. Cloud's sense of time passing blurred and shrank down, until all he could focus on was whatever he was currently fighting.

For all that, though, the last of the sunlight hadn't faded from the western sky by the time the sounds of fighting and gunfire reached them. Cloud looked around from his last kill and saw troops running up through the snow in the distance, the SOLDIERs in front targeting the monsters with spells and the rifle corps firing from behind. The sight of reinforcements was immeasurably cheering to Cloud, especially since the remaining monsters broke and ran before them.

Panting, Cloud spiked his sword into the ground and leaned on it, trying to ignore the shaking in his limbs. Spells and potions could keep you going almost endlessly in a fight, but they were a drain on your body's resources that had to be paid for eventually. Zack was resting against the wall of the shelter with his eyes closed and the buster sword dragging on the ground, and even Sephiroth looked tired as he knelt to wipe Masamune's blade clean before sheathing it.

"Well, whatever else we know about our enemy, we know he's good at breeding monsters _fast_ ," Zack said, cracking his eyes open. "If he keeps moving around like this, every area in the world is going to be swarming with them before long. And that's not even accounting for the ones in the wild which may or may not be caused by the reactors." He gave Sephiroth a sardonic salute. "If nothing else, I guess it keeps us in business without Shinra having to find another rebellious country to 'liberate'."

"Speak softly when you say such things, lieutenant, and be wary of who might be listening," Sephiroth warned him quietly. He moved towards the reinforcements now heading more slowly for them, and the weariness Cloud thought he'd seen before vanished. The general was moving as if he'd just rolled out of bed, fresh and rested.

"Well, that's interesting," Zack said, staring after him with a bemused look on his face. "Every time I think I'm starting to figure him out, he throws me for a loop again. I'm not sure I'll ever understand him."

Groaning, Cloud picked his way over to a relatively clear patch of snow and sank down to sit, giving his weary legs a rest. "I don't know if anybody can," he replied. "Nobody else has ever gone through the sorts of things he has. I mean, think about it. He's not as old as I thought he'd be, so that means he couldn't have been any older than we are during the war in Wutai, but he was already a general. He's the prototype for the SOLDIER program, and he's way stronger than any other SOLDIER."

"Yeah, I know." Zack shrugged, and gave Cloud a lopsided grin. "The more time I spend around him, the more grateful I am that I've got you. If he's got anyone he considers a friend, I've never seen them. Must be lonely at the top."

"Well, unlike him, _you_ need someone around to keep your head from swelling so much you can't fit through doorways," Cloud muttered, scooping up a handful of snow and throwing it at the older boy.

"Corporal. Lieutenant." Sephiroth beckoned to them, indicating they should join him with the rest of the group.

"Sir!" they both replied, and Zack gave Cloud a hand up out of the snow before saluting. Cloud was somewhat amused to note that now Zack was crisply professional, the perfect lieutenant to the core. At least the older boy was smart enough not to dare to be relaxed with the general in front of other people.

"The two of you will return to the base camp with the rest of the troopers," Sephiroth informed them as they halted three paces away and saluted again. "Lieutenant, you'll have charge of the group. The SOLDIERs and I will be continuing on to investigate the empty encampment the others found."

"Yes, sir!" Zack said smartly. He hesitated, then added boldly, "Be careful, sir. It could be another trap." Beside him Cloud nodded slightly, knowing Sephiroth would catch the minute gesture and understand that Cloud was as worried as Zack. Surely even the Silver General would be low on resources after a battle like the one they'd just been though, and Sephiroth _had_ seemed tired before the rest of the troops had come close enough to see.

Once again he caught a spark of amusement in Sephiroth's eyes, even as the general lifted an eyebrow at Zack. "I'm quite aware of the possibility, lieutenant. Your concern is unnecessary. Dismissed."

Unnecessary, but not unappreciated, Cloud thought to himself as they saluted again and turned to join the crowd of troops. He couldn't help but wonder how many people had ever seen even the slight signs of exhaustion Sephiroth had showed in front of them.

"You know, if we're not careful, one of these days you and I could end up being his right-hand men," Zack murmured cheerfully as they walked away, echoing Cloud's thoughts. "We just have to keep running into unlikely, deadly situations, worming our way out of them somehow, and impressing the hell out of him. No problem."

Cloud was too tired to laugh, but he could chuckle. "You're delusional," he told his friend with fond exasperation. Trying to picture himself being that close to and trusted by the general was frankly laughable. "I'll settle for being a SOLDIER, and if I make it into the Specials I'll be ecstatic."

"Bah, you think too small," Zack scolded him, ruffling his hair. "C'mon, let's get everyone back to the camp. There's hot food and a warm bedroll there with my name on it."


	20. Chapter 20

It was a weary and half-frozen group of troopers who trailed their way down to the barracks from the airstrip. They'd spent another week on the glacier attempting to mop up the monsters, only to discover there seemed to be an endless supply of the damn things. Finally they'd been sent home to Midgar, but morale among the troops was low.

Cloud was especially miserable. The SOLDIERs had left the day after confirming their quarry had fled the area; their mission was to track the scientist down and capture or kill him, not to harry monsters. That was the whole reason the companies of troops had been called in the first place, to occupy the monsters and free up the SOLDIERs for the real search. So he hadn't even had the consolation of getting to spend some time with Zack.

Worse, the story of his battle at the side of Zack and the General had made the rounds quickly, and once people realized Cloud had actually spent _hours_ in that cave with the two of them he was swamped with curious troops wanting to know every minute detail. Never comfortable with being the centre of attention at the best of times, Cloud had retreated into himself and used surliness to keep the worst of the gossip-mongers at bay. That did nothing for his reputation of being unfriendly and snappish, and it wasn't long before he started hearing rumours that he thought he was too good for ordinary troopers and was only willing to be friendly to SOLDIERs.

None of the men in his current unit had any idea that he and Zack had been so close long before Zack became a SOLDIER, of course. To them it looked like Cloud was just sucking up, ingratiating himself in order to get ahead.

Walking alone in the crowd of his company, Cloud wondered sourly exactly what they thought he was trying to ingratiate himself _for_. It wasn't as if being friends with a SOLDIER was going to make it any easier for him to get in.

He supposed it could get him granted special favours - and had already, in a way, if you counted Zack's insistence on going back out into the storm to find him. Not that the other SOLDIERs hadn't gone out looking for the rest of those who'd been lost, but Cloud was the only one brought back alive.

It all added up to create a very uncomfortable environment for him, and of course the more they resented him the more he pulled into himself, creating a vicious circle. Cloud had never been so grateful to see charlie company's barracks come into view; at least in Midgar there were places he could go to get away from everyone else, even when Zack wasn't around.

They piled into the barracks, dumping their gear haphazardly for the moment as people collapsed into their bunks. Some of the more ambitious started changing into fresh uniforms with the intention of heading out into the city, since charlie company had been given a three day furlough to allow them a chance to recover from their time in the frozen wastelands. Cloud had no intention of joining them; he didn't have any friends in the city and had no interest in going out barhopping or whoring. He just wanted to curl up in his cozy bed and try to rid himself of the half-frozen feeling that had never quite left while they were on the glacier.

The sergeant sorted through the stack of papers left on his desk, calling out names as he came to each piece of mail. Mail time was always a big event in the army, but never more so than when they were returning from a mission that had taken them far from home.

Cloud was surprised when his own name was called; Zack was the only person who ever wrote to him, and never when they'd seen each other as recently as a week ago. Hauling himself back out of his bunk he went to go retrieve the letter from the sergeant.

It was not one but two pieces of mail, he saw. The first was a hastily scribbled note in Zack's handwriting that had just been folded in half with his name on the outside. Cloud's heart leapt as soon as he saw it, because no envelope or stamp meant it had been hand delivered. Sure enough, the brief message inside was that Zack's unit of the Specials had been posted to Midgar for a week for R&R and resupply. It was dated only two days past, which meant the older boy was still here.

Ecstatic, Cloud nearly shouted aloud with glee. He contained himself with an effort, rushing back to his bunk and quickly shedding his worn and dirty uniform. Screw sleeping, he and Zack _finally_ had leave at the same time while they were in the same place! It was still early in the evening; if he hurried he was pretty sure he would be able to catch Zack in his room before the older boy went out into the city to entertain himself for the night.

In his excitement he almost forgot about the second piece of mail, a plain brown envelope with Shinra's logo stamped in one corner. It looked like every other piece of official army mail he'd ever gotten, and if not for the fact that he was the only one who'd gotten one he'd have just assumed it was a statement of his latest pay period.

Well, it probably wasn't anything important; Shinra's clerks seemed to have some sort of unholy fondness for generating completely unnecessary paperwork. Still, if he ignored it then it was guaranteed to be something that he was supposed to have responded to right away, and that was always a pain even if it was a totally innocuous issue. Reining in his impatience, Cloud tore open the envelope and pulled out the sheaf of typed documents inside.

It took him a moment to make sense of what he was seeing, and another minute or two before he could convince himself that it wasn't a mistake. The papers he was holding were a transfer order, identical to the one he'd received when he'd been transferred from the rifle corps to the sword corps after the SOLDIER exams.

That in and of itself wasn't too surprising. Troops were transferred between units all the time, as people were injured or killed or retired or transferred elsewhere. For all Cloud knew enough people in his current unit had complained about him that he'd been transferred out for that reason.

It was _where_ he was being transferred to that made him reread the papers repeatedly to ensure he wasn't misunderstanding somehow. It had to be a prank. There was no way he would have been assigned to omega company.

The two missions he'd been on with a unit of SOLDIERs were the exception rather than the norm. Very few missions required an entire unit of SOLDIERs, rare and precious resources that they were for the company. Usually only one or two SOLDIERs would be assigned to a mission, with ordinary troopers for backup or to cover the grunt work.

Also unlike the missions Cloud had been on, entire companies of troopers were almost never required to accompany SOLDIERs. Generally they only brought a handful of troops with them; SOLDIERs were used for precision strikes like a scalpel, not blunt force trauma like a hammer.

And since the companies of troopers were usually engaged in larger missions as a complete unit, the groups the SOLDIERs took with them were drawn from a smaller pool of troops who were assigned only to that purpose. Omega company was the non-SOLDIER equivalent of Sephiroth's Specials; the best of the best, neither assigned to a battalion nor composed entirely of one type of trooper, but instead a mishmash of skills and specializations so that there would be someone available to cover anything that was required. They answered to no one but the SOLDIERs, and it was the most prestigious position a trooper could aspire to outside of the SOLDIER program.

"Hey Cloud, you look like someone just slapped you with a dead fish," one of the other corporals observed, pausing beside him. "You okay, kid? Did somebody die?" That was the one piece of mail every trooper dreaded receiving, the notification that a friend in another unit had been killed in the line of duty, but those envelopes always had a thin border of black to warn the recipient of the impending bad news.

"No, I... I've been transferred," Cloud replied a bit indistinctly, still trying to absorb the shock. Belatedly it occurred to him that it might not be a good idea to tell the others exactly _where_ he'd been sent to; they were already accusing him of sucking up in order to get preferential treatment, and this would only confirm their worst opinions of him. He folded the papers over quickly before the other man could read over his shoulder, and stuffed them back into the envelope with shaking hands.

"Transferred?" the other corporal sounded surprised but not dismayed, which was a stark contrast to the disappointed reactions of B platoon when Cloud had been transferred here. It only drove home the fact that he wasn't really a part of this unit, just someone who happened to participate in the same activities they did.

"Yeah. I don't have to report in until tomorrow, so I guess I'm still bunking here for the night," Cloud said, feeling numb. "I, uh... I'm gonna head out, though. Who knows, my new unit might be shipped out somewhere first thing. I'd better take advantage of my leave while I've got it."

"For sure," the other man shrugged and turned away. "Have fun, kid. Good luck with your new unit."

That was all, and Cloud allowed himself a moment of self-pity as the man walked away. He hadn't even asked where Cloud was being transferred to, and the implication that nobody cared was hard to miss. Well, he had only himself to blame. He was the one who'd resisted their initial attempts to make him part of the group, however miserable he'd been at the time. Hopefully he wouldn't make the same mistakes with his new unit.

His new unit. Gods, this _had_ to be some kind of prank. He couldn't think of anyone who could pull off something that looked this official other than Zack, and he didn't _think_ the older boy would be that cruel. But maybe Zack hadn't thought about how much something like this would mean to Cloud if it was real.

Well, there was only one way to find out, and he'd intended to go find Zack anyway. Now he _really_ hoped he wouldn't be too late to catch up with the older boy; the last thing Cloud wanted was to have to spend the night here in the barrack. Sooner or later the truth of where he was being sent would get out, since the sergeant would have received a copy of the same papers Cloud had. He didn't relish the idea of trying to deal with the inevitable resentment and hostility that would be generated.

Clutching the envelope tightly in one hand, Cloud finished changing and hurried out of the barracks area. The SOLDIERs were quartered in a different building entirely; there weren't enough of them to form whole companies, and anyway they got much better quarters than the regular troops. Even the SOLDIERS 3rd Class got a room with only one other person in it, and the 1st Class quarters were as private and luxurious as a major's. So rumour said, anyway; Cloud hadn't actually seen it for himself.

The troopers who stood guard at the SOLDIER building recognized him on sight by now. Usually he just stopped at the door and asked for either Zack or, if his friend was out of the city, he'd ask for Bence, the SOLDIER who had taken pity on him and agreed to pass him information about where Zack's unit was. Today one of the guards just grinned and waved him in. "Lieutenant Zack said you'd be showing up soon," the man commented when Cloud blinked at him in surprise. "He's been waiting for you all day, since he got the news that your unit was due back. Second floor, third door on your right."

"Thanks!" Cloud called back over his shoulder as he bolted up the stairs. Belatedly it occurred to Cloud that these men were surely part of omega company, and he probably could have gotten some valuable information from them about his supposed new unit. On the other hand, the last thing he wanted to do was start spreading the word of his new posting in case it turned out to be a joke after all.

"Zack!" he called as he knocked loudly on the indicated door, a little winded from having run the whole way there. "Zack, it's me, open up..."

The door was practically flung into the wall; Zack had apparently forgotten his enhanced strength in his excitement at seeing Cloud again. "Cloud!" Zack stood in the doorway, dressed in civvies and grinning like an idiot. "You finally made it back! I was starting to think maybe I'd misread the schedule and it was some other company that was due back today."

"We hit some bad winds over the ocean between the north island and the mainland," Cloud said absently, shaking his head. "Zack, I've been transferred!"

"Transferred?" Raising an eyebrow at him, Zack stood aside and indicated Cloud should come in. The room was more than spacious enough for two people to be comfortable in, and clearly divided down the middle by two sets of identical furniture arranged in mirror image. It wasn't hard to figure out which side was Zack's; Cloud was more than familiar with the way the older boy somehow managed to leave the impression of clutter even though his belongings were tidy enough to pass inspection. There was no sign of Zack's roommate aside from his belongings.

Obviously trying to figure out why being transferred would have Cloud so upset, Zack frowned. "Don't tell me your new unit is being shipped out?" he asked, dismayed. "Damn it, who do I have to kill to get us a couple of days alone together to relax?"

"No," Cloud shook his head, thrusting the envelope out towards him. Zack took it with a curious look as Cloud continued to babble helplessly. "I mean, maybe, I don't know. I haven't actually reported in yet, I'm not due to present myself until tomorrow. So we've got tonight, anyway. But that's not the point!"

"Omega company?" Zack's shocked delight was clearly unfeigned, and that put Cloud's fears that this might be a tasteless joke on his part firmly to rest. "Cloud, that's fantastic! Holy crap, congratulations kid! You know what this means, right? Given Sephiroth's tendency to let SOLDIERs choose who they want to work with, you and I will be assigned together more often than not!"

"Don't you get it?" Cloud demanded, still upset. "It's got to be some kind of mistake, or something. Omega company is the best of the best. You have to work for _years_ to earn enough commendations to be assigned there! There's no way it can be for real, I haven't done anything to earn this. They don't even take anyone below sergeant rank, do they?"

"So maybe you'll be promoted as well as transferred," Zack laughed, waving the papers at him. "It wouldn't be the first time. Sergeant Cloud has a nice ring to it, don't you think? Though I suppose it's not as nicely alliterative as Corporal Cloud."

"They can't promote me again, I'm too young to be a sergeant!" Cloud protested.

"You're still too young to be in the army at all, kid, in case you've forgotten." Zack snorted in amusement.

"That's exactly what I'm saying!" Cloud exclaimed. He stamped his foot in a childish gesture, frustrated that Zack wasn't taking this seriously enough and inadvertently proving his point. "It was hard enough to get my squad to accept having a kid as their corporal. There's no way anybody would respect a sergeant my age. It's ridiculous. _I_ wouldn't even respect a fifteen-year-old sergeant."

"Well, that's true," Zack agreed, relenting. He dropped down to sit on the edge of his bed, waving for Cloud to take the desk chair. Studying the transfer orders again, he finally shrugged. "It doesn't say anything about a promotion, anyway. I'm sure they don't have a rule that you have to be a sergeant, it's just that normally by the time you attract that much notice chances are good you're going to be a higher rank. The front line grunts may be the ones doing most of the dangerous work, but they're not the ones who get the credit for it."

"So how could I possibly have earned this transfer?" Cloud demanded, brought right back to his initial concern. "It's got to be a mistake or somebody's idea of a joke, Zack. It just can't be for real."

To his surprise, the look Zack gave him was something close to sympathy. "You never give yourself enough credit, you know that? Hades, Cloud, I can tell you exactly why you got this transfer. You impressed the hell out of General Sephiroth in that fight, and it's not even the first time you've attracted his attention."

"But... but I didn't do anything impressive!" Cloud said, stunned at the idea. "He had to cast Regen on me at least a dozen times, and before that my most notable achievement was nearly freezing to death because I was too stupid to realize that the only reason the two of you were comfortable was because you're SOLDIERs! And that fight only happened in the first place was because I was gullible enough to be caught by a Confuse spell and led away from my platoon."

"The same Confuse spell that caught _me_ and turned me against you," Zack pointed out dryly. "Which I never got a chance to apologize for, by the way. I don't really remember what happened, but I saw your body armour afterwards. Anyway, he's hardly going to hold it against you that you needed to be healed more often than we did, since that's just because you don't have mako enhancements. It's the fact that you fought at all that impressed him, Cloud. A lot of troopers would have hung back and let us do all the hard work, figuring they wouldn't be able to keep up with us anyway, but you waded right in there with us."

"I wasn't going to let you go out and fight while I cowered in the cave!" Cloud said, stung. "Even if you weren't my friend, there's no way I would have done that. I may not be a SOLDIER, but I'm still a soldier."

"See, that right there is why you impressed him," Zack told him, pointing in triumph. "You're dedicated, you're loyal, and you take your responsibilities seriously. You'll throw yourself against impossible odds if it's needed, and you don't give up until you physically can't keep going. You've got the courage to attack the Silver General himself with nothing more than a paint gun, and the determination to ream out a superior officer if that's what it takes to get what you need. You're going to fit into omega company just fine, trust me."

"Assuming they don't all resent me for being fast-tracked into the unit when they all had to work that hard to get the assignment," Cloud muttered, still uneasy but starting to believe it might actually be for real.

"It's not as unusual as you think, you know," Zack told him with another grin. "You'll be the youngest one there, but that's just because there probably aren't more than a handful of people in the army as young as you. You do realize omega is essentially a training ground for potential SOLDIERs, right? You might have been transferred on the basis of your exam results alone, if it weren't that Heidigger turned the whole mess into a spectator sport and therefore Sephiroth didn't observe them as a protest. It's not a matter of getting enough commendations in your record. Everyone in omega company was scouted either by the Turks or by Sephiroth himself."

"What? Are you serious?" Cloud stared at him, astonished.

"Don't go spreading it around," Zack cautioned him. "It's not public knowledge, partly because they don't want any accusations of favouritism in the SOLDIER exams and partly because otherwise every half-assed loser who thinks he 'deserves' to be a SOLDIER would be harassing their commanders for a transfer. Not that they don't already, but it would be a lot worse."

"Why weren't you sent there straight out of boot camp, then?" Cloud asked, frowning. "Everybody knew the officers had marked you as SOLDIER potential."

"I don't know," Zack shrugged. "I've heard people say that SOLDIERs tend to be better commanders if they spent some time in the regular troops first. Or maybe it was just because Sephiroth wanted the two of us assigned together, we know that's true, and you hadn't publicly done enough to warrant being sent to omega company yet. Does it matter?"

"I guess not," Cloud murmured, still reeling from too many shocks in one day. "This is all so crazy. I can't believe it's really happening."

Standing, Zack moved to drape himself over Cloud's shoulders from behind, holding him in a loose embrace and rubbing his cheek against Cloud's. "The important thing is that we won't be separated nearly as often now. I'd say the whole thing is cause for a celebration." Zack's voice turned low and husky, making Cloud shiver. "I think it's about time we tried out that bed we keep talking about, don't you?"

Glancing involuntarily at Zack's bed, Cloud choked back a moan. How did the older boy manage to take him from stunned numbness to the spreading warmth of desire with just a few words and an innocent touch? "Here?" he asked, his voice more than a little gruff as well.

"Nah." Zack sighed and sounded regretful. "Randy's out on the town, but he always comes back here to sleep and he doesn't always stay out all that late. No sense in taking chances. But there's nothing stopping us from going out and availing ourselves of Midgar's amenities as well, is there?"

Giddy, Cloud laughed. He shoved aside all his worries about the transfer and its possible ramifications, and let himself just enjoy the chance to be with his best friend. "Sounds good," he agreed breathlessly. "So what are we sitting around here for?"

Releasing him, Zack moved to stand in front of him and pulled him up by the hands. The moment Cloud was standing the older boy leaned in and kissed him hard. It was hot and demanding, his tongue probing for entrance immediately and Cloud willingly granted it. They tangled themselves up in each other, arms twining around bodies as they pushed to be as close as possible while still clothed.

It had been so long that Cloud had forgotten just how good it really was. Fantasies and treasured memories couldn't begin to replace the real thing. He moaned, rocking his hips up against Zack's and cursing the fact that Zack had gotten significantly taller than him again.

"Right, that's enough of that," Zack declared, pulling away abruptly. They were both flushed and breathing hard, and the glow of mako in Zack's eyes seemed more pronounced than usual. "Let's get out of here before I forget I'm not the only one with a key to that lock."

"Where are we going?" Cloud asked as Zack grabbed him by the wrist and tugged him out of the room.

"Don't know, don't care," Zack declared cheerfully. "We'll hit the main road out of town, there's dozens of hotels there for visitors from outside the city. It won't be hard to find something." Laughing again, Cloud followed him out of the building towards the gates.

By the time they ran across an inn that had a vacancy, Cloud was absolutely certain that somebody had come in and lengthened the roads of Midgar while he'd been away. He and Zack had wandered down the main strip all the time back when they were both in the 3rd rifle, and it had never taken anywhere near that long to get there before.

" _Finally_ ," Zack muttered as he grabbed the key from the bored-looking clerk and they clattered up the stairs to their room. "I thought I was _never_ going to get a chance to keep that promise." He smiled, a wicked look that made heat curl low in Cloud's body. "You remember the rest of the promise, right? The part about what I was going to do after we got the hotel?"

"I think it had something to do with fucking me into the wall," Cloud replied, his voice rough with barely leashed need.

"Into 'next week' was the phrase I think I used, but into the wall works for me," Zack said with a husky chuckle.

The first time was going to be wild beyond words, Cloud knew; they'd both gone too long without to be patient when they finally had a chance to be together again. But they had the room for the whole night, and neither of them had to be anywhere until Cloud needed to report in to his new commander tomorrow. There would be plenty of time for exploring and really enjoying the bed after they'd gotten the worst of the urgency out of their systems.

The moment the door shut behind them Zack pulled Cloud into his arms for a heated kiss, and Cloud surrendered with a groan. He couldn't remember ever wanting something so badly in his entire life, and the desperate desire just added spice to the pleasure of being embraced by Zack.

"Clothes. Off," Zack demanded against Cloud's mouth, not bothering to pull away as he tugged at the younger boy's uniform. Cloud fumbled at the fly of Zack's jeans, his fingers brushing over the hard warmth of the older boy's trapped erection and making him groan. They were forced to separate briefly to get Cloud's tunic and Zack's shirt off, but then they were plastered together again like a pair of magnets.

Zack's hands were gripped almost painfully tight on Cloud's hips, pulling him up to balance on his toes in an effort to get their bodies to line up properly, and under other circumstances Cloud would have protested the force that was probably going to leave bruises. Right now though, the reminder of Zack's strength was thrilling, making Cloud rock up against him harder and moan in frustration when he still wasn't tall enough to press his cock against Zack's.

They were still wearing their pants, though Cloud had managed to get Zack's unfastened at least. Apparently tired of waiting, Zack tightened his hands a little more and lifted Cloud right off his feet, muscles bunching in his arms and shoulders but with no other evidence of effort. Cloud's pained half-protest was immediately buried in his cry of desire as he finally felt Zack's cock against his. He could handle a little pain if it was going to get him pleasure like this.

Locking his legs around the older boy's waist helped shift his weight enough that Zack relaxed his grip, and Cloud was almost dizzy with passion. "Bed," Zack groaned, trailing his mouth away from Cloud's and down over the column of the boy's throat. He took a few staggering steps in that direction, but it was all the way across the room and Cloud honestly didn't think either of them would last that long.

"Not going to fuck me into the wall after all?" he murmured, tipping his head back to give Zack better access. There would be time for the bed later.

Growling, Zack bit at his shoulder hard enough to make Cloud shudder with need. "Fuck, Cloud, you little tease," Zack gasped around a snarl. "Fine, you asked for it."

Kissing him hard again, Zack bore Cloud back into the nearest wall. Streaks of pain shot across Cloud's vision as his head impacted the solid surface hard, but that was nothing compared to the sharp jolt that came a second later when his back struck the wall. Something cracked audibly, and passion was suddenly lost in the fiery agony of just trying to breathe. Zack had misjudged his strength, or else forgotten himself in his desire, and used far too much force to slam Cloud against the wall.

It took Zack a second longer to realize something was wrong, but he pulled back when he felt Cloud go rigid in his arms. "Cloud? What...."

Cloud had started to choke out an answer, but managed only a breathless cry that was almost a shriek when Zack's movement made his weight shift against the wall. Pain washed over him in a crashing wave, and blackness crept up to eat at the edges of his vision.

"Cloud? Cloud!" Zack's frantic voice sounded like it was coming from far away as Cloud lost his grip on consciousness. "Shit, shit, Cloud, I'm sorry! Are you okay? Cloud!"

But Cloud was beyond the ability to answer him, lost in the darkness of oblivion.


	21. Chapter 21

For an indeterminate amount of time Cloud drifted through blackness, conscious of the bright flare of pain at the fringes of his awareness but not really feeling it as long as he stayed safely in the darkness.

At some point, something from outside of him roused him enough to make him pay attention. It was the sound of a panicked male voice and a soothing female one, followed by the wash of cool green energy that meant somebody had used a Restore materia on him. The magic dulled the worst of the pain, dimming it enough that Cloud could make out what the voices were saying.

"...enough that you should be able to safely move him somewhere a bit less incriminating, if you're very careful. Don't jostle his head or his spine," the woman was saying.

"Can't you just fix him the rest of the way?" the man demanded, and Cloud was vaguely aware of hesitant fingers brushing through his bangs.

"No. I don't have the energy for something that major, for one thing. And _don't_ you try it on your own! Because the second reason I won't do it is that spine injuries are very delicate. It's not like a wound or a normal broken bone; you can't just slap a Cure spell on it as a bandage and expect it to work. You could end up causing permanent damage by fusing the bone in the wrong position, and once that's done it can't be undone."

"Shit." Now the man sounded shaken as well as panicked. "Fucking Hades. Never thought I'd be _glad_ I didn't think to bring a Restore with me! If I hadn't had to go get you, I would have..."

It occurred to Cloud that they were talking about _him_ , and maybe he should let them know he was listening. Opening his eyes was too much effort, but he thought maybe he could speak. It took him a couple of tries before he finally managed to shape the barest whisper of a word. "Zack?"

There were startled exclamations from both of the speakers, and a delicate hand rested gently on his forehead. "Don't move," the woman cautioned him. "Goodness, Zack, he's even tougher than you said he was! I can't believe he's awake."

"Told you," Zack - it had to be Zack - replied with a faint trace of amusement. "You're sure it's safe to move him? I don't want to protect our careers at the cost of his spine!"

"As long as you're careful," the woman assured him. "I'll go with you to help. You might want to put him to sleep if you can, though, to keep him from moving." She stroked her hand from his forehead to his cheek in a caress. "And you, stop being so shy! I do want to meet you, preferably under circumstances where I can actually talk to you and see your face properly. I don't bite... unless you ask nicely."

She giggled, and the realization of who she must be struck Cloud all at once. Before he could say anything - a protest or an apology, he wasn't sure - there was a soft 'pop' of an item casing being broken, and the sharp smell of magic-laced herbs drifted down over him. It wasn't an item he recognized by scent; not a healing item or a remedy, then.

"Sleep won't do any good, he'd just be knocked out of it every time we moved him enough to cause him pain," Zack was saying as Cloud started to fall away into the darkness again. "This'll paralyze him, keep him from moving..."

That was the last thing he was aware of for quite some time, floating once again in the pain-edged darkness.

At some point he slipped over the edge from unconsciousness to true sleep, and when he woke again he felt immeasurably better. Blinking, he stared up at an unfamiliar ceiling, trying to figure out where he was.

He wasn't at a hundred percent just yet, he quickly discovered when he tried to move and sharp spears of agony shot up from his spine. Not only that, but he'd been tied down so he couldn't move even if he was able to ignore the pain. He must have made a noise, because a moment later hurried footsteps approached and a man in a medic's uniform leaned over him.

"Ah, you're awake," the man said, and he sounded pleased. "Excellent. Don't try to move, as I'm sure you've already discovered. Can you speak?"

"Yeah," Cloud rasped, his voice breaking in his parched throat. "Water?"

"Yes, I'm sure you're thirsty," the medic agreed sympathetically. "Just a moment."

He helped Cloud sip water from a straw, and that helped a lot. "Where am I?" he asked, looking around. Almost immediately he realized it was a stupid question; the room might be unfamiliar, but he recognized a hospital when he saw one and the uniform the medic was wearing meant he must be in Shinra's infirmary. "Scratch that. Why am I tied down?"

"You cracked a couple of vertebrae in your back, as well as breaking some ribs and picking up a nasty concussion," the medic informed him. "We've healed most of the damage, but the healing of the spine injury can only be accelerated, not instantly fixed. Can you tell me your name, rank and company?"

"Cloud Strife, corporal, 8th..." he hesitated, uncertain, and the medic made a concerned noise.

"You can't remember your company? The concussion may have been more serious than we thought."

"No, it's just..." Cloud would have shaken his head, but thankfully the restraints stopped him before he managed to hurt himself. "I'd gotten transfer orders, and I was supposed to report in the next day, but... how long have I been unconscious?" Gods, if he lost his transfer to omega company because of this, he'd never get another chance.

"Ah, yes, I see the note in your file now," the medic agreed, checking the papers he had on a clipboard. "The captain of omega company left word that he was to be contacted as soon as you woke, so I'd say your transfer went through just fine. Congratulations - though next time you go out roughhousing with your SOLDIER friend to celebrate, I suggest not getting so carried away."

Almost, Cloud asked what he was talking about, but a hazy memory of a discussion about moving him stopped him just in time. Zack must have gotten him out of the hotel, and then claimed they'd just been play-fighting and gone a little too far. Smart.

"Is Zack here?" he asked, scanning the part of the room he could see even though he was sure the older boy would have said something by now if he was present. "Can I see him?"

"Talk to your captain first, then we'll see about calling your friend in," the medic said. "He was pretty worried about you, I'm sure he'll come running."

Impatiently Cloud waited as omega company was contacted and informed that he'd woken. As eager as he was to confirm that he really was part of omega company now, he was more anxious to talk to Zack. He just knew his friend was going to be blaming himself for what had happened, probably thinking that Cloud would be angry or upset with him.

The medic agreed to undo his restraints and shift his bed to a sitting position as long as Cloud promised to only move slowly. It was a promise that was easy to keep, since any movement faster than a snail's pace brought sharp stabbing pains to remind him. At least being able to sit up meant he could see more of the room, and he wouldn't feel quite so helpless when talking to his new CO.

Finally an unfamiliar man in a captain's uniform strode into the room and came to a stop beside the bed. To Cloud's intense relief, the man didn't look angry or upset with him at all.

"Congratulations," the man said wryly. "You may actually have avoided the traditional hazing of a new recruit by doing it to yourself. You've certainly broken the record for the fastest SOLDIER-induced injury. Before this it was twelve hours, but you've managed to put it into the negatives."

"SOLDIER-induced injury?" Cloud repeated, confused and a little lost. This wasn't at all what he'd been expecting.

To his surprise, the captain chuckled. "The bastards are forever forgetting their strength when they get worked up about something. Omega troops spend so much time working with them that sooner or later everyone winds up injured to one degree or another as a result. More than one person has requested a transfer back to less hazardous duties, as well. Do you want to be sent back to your old unit?"

"Sir, no sir!" Cloud exclaimed promptly, biting down on a hiss of pain when he automatically tried to straighten his back to come to attention. "It's not as if it's the first time it's ever happened. Za... I mean, Lieutenant Zack crushed my hand the first time I saw him after he got his mako injections, and he attacked me once under the influence of a Confuse spell." He started to shrug and aborted the gesture quickly. "It's just an incentive to work harder so I can be a SOLDIER too, then we won't have to worry about the fact that I'm more breakable than he is."

"Good!" the captain barked a laugh, and grinned at him. "If you've been hurt by one of them before and were still willing to roughhouse with a SOLDIER, you're not afraid of them. That's important for working in omega company. I wasn't sure about you, corporal. We've never taken anyone as young as you before, and that's assuming your official age is actually correct which I'm certain it's not. I should have known better than to question the general's judgement, though. The Turks are sometimes wrong, but Sephiroth never is."

So it really had been the general who had recommended Cloud for the transfer. Cloud still didn't really understand just what it was that he'd done that was so impressive, but he wasn't going to argue with the general. A flush of pride and accomplishment suffused him.

"The medics tell me you'll be fit for duty in another week," the captain continued. "I'm Captain Edmund. You won't see much of me except in the field, but I'll send some of the sergeants over to get you up to speed while you're recovering. Welcome to omega company."

"Sir!" Cloud would have saluted if he could, but the captain seemed to understand. He saluted Cloud just as if the boy had done it first, then turned and left.

"Can I see Zack now?" Cloud asked eagerly when the medic came back in to check on him.

"I've notified his unit that you're awake, but he hasn't responded," the medic replied. "He's probably on duty, it's the middle of the day."

Except Cloud knew Zack couldn't be on duty, because he was on leave. "How long was I unconscious?" Cloud asked as a terrible thought struck him. Zack's unit had only been stationed in Midgar for a week, and it was already the third day of that week when this had happened.

"Three days," the man informed him, and Cloud sighed with relief. He'd cut it close, but Zack still had one more day in Midgar before he was shipped out again. If he'd had to leave before Cloud woke up, Cloud was sure it would have eaten at his friend until he got a chance to see Cloud again.

So Cloud contented himself with that, and settled in to wait for Zack to get the message and come see him. Probably the older boy had gone out to do something to get his mind off it; he wasn't the kind of person to sit around in his room and brood.

Not being able to move much made waiting terribly boring. Cloud wasn't really interested in what was playing on the tiny television up in one corner of the room, and holding a book up hurt too much. He ended up dozing through the rest of the day, letting his body get the rest it needed to recover from the advanced healing that had been done on him.

Every so often the medics would wake him for another healing session, slowly and carefully repairing the damage done to his spine. Unlike most healing, each of these sessions was painful in the extreme because the whole reason they had to go slowly was to avoid doing too much damage to the extremely delicate nerves in the spine. Frankly Cloud was amazed he'd managed to remain unconscious through three days worth of these sessions.

Before he knew it night had fallen, and he woke from a nap to discover it was almost curfew. Bewildered, he looked around and wondered if Zack had come some time when Cloud was sleeping, and not wanted to wake him up. He couldn't think of any other explanation for why the older boy wasn't here yet. Surely Zack wouldn't have gone out into Midgar for the night, not when he knew Cloud could wake at any time.

Well, maybe... maybe... something. Cloud couldn't think of any good reason for the older boy's continued absence, but that didn't mean there wasn't one. He'd learned that lesson from their fight after Zack's two-month absence when he'd first made SOLDIER. The only thing jumping to bad conclusions got him was a fight he couldn't win, and he didn't particularly relish the idea of ending up right back in this hospital bed for fighting with Zack now.

So he continued to wait, allowing the medic to sedate him so he wouldn't move too much in his sleep. That got him through to the next morning, at least.

When there was still no sign of Zack by mid-morning, though, he started to panic. He had no idea when the older boy's unit was shipping out, just that it was today. Could they have been sent back into the field early? It was possible, and Zack might not have thought to leave a note.

"Are you sure he got the message?" Cloud asked when the shift changed and the same medic from the day before came on duty. "Could you find out if he's even still here? Please? He's supposed to be shipping out today."

"I'll try," the medic promised, and that was the best Cloud could hope for.

Finally, just before dinner, the medic returned with news. "Your friend's unit left an hour ago, by airship," he informed Cloud sympathetically. "He was probably so busy getting ready that he never had a chance to come by. Or maybe he was under disciplinary action, for hurting you in the first place."

Cloud was stunned, and the man's words weren't terribly comforting. He _knew_ Zack, and he knew that if the older boy had been determined to see Cloud then nothing would have stopped him. Certainly if their positions had been reversed, Cloud would _never_ have just gone off with his unit without so much as checking on Zack.

He spent the evening flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling and trying to make sense of it. He felt horribly abandoned, and it was a struggle not to let himself slide into the same kind of miserable brooding he'd done when he'd been certain that Zack had replaced him with that other SOLDIER.

The next day the promised sergeant from omega company arrived, bearing manuals for Cloud to read to familiarize himself with the procedures that his new unit used. They were different than for any other company in the army because of their unique status as a group of mixed specialists rather than a homogenous unit of basic footsoldiers.

"You look like somebody just shot your dog," the sergeant observed as he handed over the thick books. He was a young man in his early or mid-twenties, and he could have served as a poster boy for the army. He was the perfect image of a trooper; strong, clean-cut and square-jawed. His face was open and friendly, and he reminded Cloud a little of Zack.

"It's nothing," Cloud said hastily, easing himself up to a sitting position and reaching for the books. He had more mobility now, but he still had to move carefully. "A friend of mine was shipped out yesterday, and I was hoping he'd get a chance to come see me first."

"Yeah?" The sergeant gave him a shrewd look. "Same guy who put you in here in the first place?"

"Well, yes," Cloud admitted, biting his lip. "Which is why I was surprised he didn't at least come to check on me. But I'm sure he was just busy."

"SOLDIER's guilt," the sergeant informed him ruefully. "Happens all the time when they hurt someone badly by accident, especially if they know the person. He's afraid if he so much as looks at you he'll break you, and that you'll be angry with him. Or worse, afraid of him." He shook his head. "A lot of people get scared after the first time they really understand just what the SOLDIERs are capable of. Most of them hide it well, but you can see it in their eyes. Nothing worse for a SOLDIER than seeing that look in the eyes of someone they care about."

"That's stupid," Cloud objected. "It's not even the first time he's hurt me." Though it was, he realized, the first time it had happened when Zack was actually aware of what he'd done. The older boy had been too out of it to realize that he'd crushed Cloud's hand that one time, and the Confuse spell had left him with no real memory of the damage he'd done by attacking Cloud.

"So how do I get him to _stop_ being stupid?" he wanted to know, and the sergeant laughed at him.

"You're gonna fit right in with us, kid," the man declared. "It ain't easy, but it's simple. You chase him down, and you refuse to go away or give up until he stops treating you like you're made of glass. He'll get over it eventually, as long as he can see you're not scared of him."

"I could never be scared of Zack," Cloud shook his head as much as he was able to. "It's not like he did it on _purpose_. But he's gone, I can't get to him now."

"He'll be back," the sergeant assured him. "You're omega company, now. We work with all the SOLDIERs sooner or later, and if you know this guy then chances are good you'll be assigned to him more often than not. He won't be able to avoid you even if he wants to."

Well, if there was one thing Cloud knew he was good at, it was being stubborn. There was no way he was letting Zack throw away their friendship for a stupid reason like that. He had enough time to recover fully and learn the ropes of his new unit before Zack got back; by the time the older boy returned, Cloud would be ready for him.


	22. Chapter 22

Life in omega company was the most difficult thing Cloud had ever experienced. It made boot camp look like a walk in the park, by comparison. They worked hard and trained harder; almost everyone in the company was actively gunning to make SOLDIER at some point, and the ones who weren't were the ones who'd decided to stop trying the exams and dedicate themselves to omega company instead. Cloud was the new kid, and as a result he was assigned the dirtiest, nastiest jobs possible.

At the same time, he couldn't remember ever being this happy in his life. He was the least among an entire company of exceptional people, but he _was_ one of them. There was a lot of pride associated with being in omega company, and having their badge on his uniform made Cloud feel like he could do just about anything.

Better yet, he'd finally had it driven home to him that it really _wasn't_ the end of the world that he'd failed the exams. With a few exceptions everyone in the company had tried and failed the exams at least once. Most of them were fairly impressed when they heard how far Cloud had made it.

For the first time ever, Cloud really felt like he was part of a group. Even in 3rd Rifle he had mostly been attached to Zack and _Zack_ was part of the group. In 8th Sword he hadn't been part of the group at all, thanks to his own surliness in the beginning of his time there. Here in omega, there was no Zack to overshadow him and he wasn't anywhere near as upset going in.

The only thing marring his happiness was Zack's continued absence. After a month the lack of contact from his friend had settled into a dull, persistent ache just beneath his breastbone. Only his squadmates' continued reassurances that this was normal behaviour for a new SOLDIER who'd hurt a friend accidentally kept him from sinking back into the same sort of despair he'd felt after the exams.

Cloud missed Zack terribly. He'd found friends among his new company, but none of them were the sort of close friend Zack had been from the very start. He wrote to Zack a couple of times, but didn't even get the sort of terse notes he'd previously received as a reply.

The older boy's unit hadn't returned to Midgar, though, so all Cloud could do was keep ploughing on and not lose his resolve.

At least being worked half to death every day helped him keep his mind off it. Dragging himself off the obstacle course where he and three of his squadmates had been training, Cloud leaned against the wall and did his best not to collapse while he waited for the scores to come up.

"Not bad, kid," Daniel said, clapping Cloud on the shoulder as the numbers flashed onto the screen. Cloud hadn't beaten his record, but he _had_ beaten his average. He was improving, slowly but surely.

"Yeah, and that's a personal best for at least two of us," remarked Kaine, ruffling Cloud's hair while Daniel was holding him still. "We should make sure to always train with you in the group, kid. You're good luck or something."

"What, am I the company mascot now?" Cloud asked, batting the offensive hands away in irritation.

The three sergeants looked at each other for a moment. "Yep." "Uh-huh." "Pretty much, yeah."

"Oh, stuff it," Cloud muttered, blushing furiously as the others laughed. There were some serious downsides to being the youngest, smallest, lowest-ranking - and, according to at least half the company, cutest - in the unit. "The only reason you all perform better when I'm around is because it would be too galling to have to admit that a scrawny runt like me is better than you."

"We'll see who's better than who in a few months at the exams," Orin retorted.

"Yeah, and then you're all going to regret teasing me when I'm your new commanding officer," Cloud promptly shot back. The words were still largely bravado, but there was a part of him that was really starting to believe that he _would_ make it this time.

He _had_ to, for one thing. Zack was waiting for him. And Sephiroth had said he expected to see Cloud there.

They continued to tease and harass each other as they walked back towards the omega company barracks, and Cloud gave as good as he got. There were plenty of people in omega company who were full of their own importance and would have meant the harsh remarks seriously, but Cloud was lucky enough to have several people in his platoon like these three. Though it was a good thing Zack had gotten him used to the idea that friends could tease each other and not actually mean it, or he'd probably have assumed this was just more bullying like the kind he'd endured all his life in Nibelheim.

Thinking of Zack as always made the ever-present ache in Cloud's chest intensify momentarily. For a second he thought the glimpse he caught of his friend in the crowd was only wishful thinking, until Kaine said, "Wow, get a load of those poor bastards. Looks like somebody put them through the wringer. Hope none of ours got caught in the crossfire."

'Bastards' was the affectionate term for SOLDIERs used by almost everyone in omega company, sometimes right to the SOLDIERs' faces if they thought they could get away with it. Blinking, Cloud looked again and realized that it really _was_ Zack he was seeing. Kaine hadn't been exaggerating; the older boy looked drawn and miserable, even though he was marching in formation with the rest of his unit and couldn't show much expression on his face.

"Zack!" Cloud exclaimed in delight, though he managed to keep his volume low enough not to reach the other boy. He didn't want Zack to get in trouble for being distracted while in formation.

He also didn't want to give the older boy a chance to realize he was there and find a way to avoid him. Cloud had been waiting too long for this confrontation to take any risks.

"Is that your friend?" Orin asked. "Finally back, huh? Guess we won't be seeing much of you for a bit."

Somehow Cloud managed to fight down his blush reflex, reminding himself that he and Zack were only supposed to be _friends_ , not... what was the term Zack had used once? Friends with benefits. "Yeah, that's him," he confirmed, grinning. "And I'll still be seeing more of you jerks than I ever want to. We've still got to work together, and who knows how long he'll be here."

"Good luck knocking some sense into him," Daniel laughed. "If you're lucky you'll be assigned to him on his next mission, and he won't be able to get away from you."

"You know where to find us if you get bored hanging out with the bastards," Kaine added, waving him off. "Hurry up, before he bolts and you can't find him."

Taking his squadmate's words to heart, Cloud jogged off in the direction of the SOLDIERs' barracks. This wasn't exactly how he'd hoped to see Zack again; he was still dirty and sweaty from the training he'd been doing, but going to wash and change would potentially mean losing track of Zack. There were a lot of places an off-duty SOLDIER could hide if he was avoiding someone until his next out-of-city assignment. Right now, though, Zack would _have_ to go back to his room at least long enough to drop off his gear once he'd been debriefed. He wouldn't be expecting an ambush from Cloud, not yet.

One of Cloud's frequent duties over the last few weeks had been playing messenger boy between omega company and the SOLDIERs, so the guards at the gate just waved at him as he trotted into the building. Heading up the stairs, he found Zack's door and planted himself nearby, leaning against the wall beside it. If Zack had somehow done the impossible and beaten Cloud to his room, there was no way he'd have had time to leave again yet. Either way, coming or going, he wasn't going to be able to get through the door without running into Cloud. And since this door wasn't visible from the stairs, Zack wouldn't have a chance to see him and back off quietly.

Sure enough, a few minutes later there was a clamour of voices from the stairwell as half a dozen weary SOLDIERs dragged themselves back to their rooms, and within moments his friend rounded the corner. Zack froze when he saw Cloud standing there, and under other circumstances Cloud would have laughed at the shocked dismay in his eyes.

"Cloud." Zack's voice was hoarse, and he couldn't quite meet the younger boy's eyes. "How did you... what have you been doing, camping out on my door every time you're not on duty? We _just_ got back!"

"I got lucky and spotted your unit coming in," Cloud told him. "I wasn't sure if you were still planning on avoiding me, so I figured I'd better pre-empt you."

"I'm not avoiding you!" Zack protested, but even he didn't sound convinced.

"Oh yeah?" Cloud gave him a Look. "I know for a fact you were told I was awake a full day before you shipped out." Zack winced, and Cloud let his tone soften. "I'm not mad at you, stupid. It was an accident, and I'm fine now. No big deal."

"No big _deal_?" Zack's voice rose in volume and cracked at the end, and he stared at Cloud like he was seeing a ghost. "You... look, get in here, I'm not having this conversation in the hallway."

He moved past Cloud to open the door, and Cloud was both amused and saddened to note the way his friend was careful not to so much as brush against him. He remembered Kaine telling him at their first meeting that Zack would probably act like he was afraid looking at Cloud would break him; apparently that wasn't as much of an exaggeration as Cloud had thought.

Once they were both inside, Zack closed the door and leaned against it, eyeing Cloud warily. Cloud moved to lean against the desk, not wanting to sit and give the impression that he was even smaller than he was. He needed Zack _not_ to be thinking of him as helpless and vulnerable. "Where's your roommate?" he asked, glancing at the other side of the room. "Are we likely to be interrupted?"

"His ribs were shattered; he's in the infirmary so they can piece them together again before fusing them with magic," Zack said, and Cloud winced at the thought. SOLDIERs weren't just stronger than normal people, they could take a lot more damage too. A blow that could shatter a SOLDIER's ribs would crush an ordinary trooper.

"That sucks, but at least we've got the room to ourselves." That was even better than Cloud had hoped for. He'd assumed he was going to have to work on just repairing their friendship, and worry about the rest of it later when they had some privacy. It also meant they didn't have to dance around the subject of how Cloud had _really_ gotten hurt.

"Look, Cloud..." Zack sounded helpless, _hopeless_ , and it was such an unusual reaction from him that Cloud's heart squeezed in sympathy. "I'm sorry. I can't even begin to apologize. I never should have let myself get carried away like that, but I can't be sure it won't happen again. I've adjusted to the enhancements enough to let me function, but I don't really know my own strength."

"Yeah, so, we'll have to be careful not to get worked up like that again," Cloud said regretfully. He'd really been looking _forward_ to Zack fucking him into the wall, or next week or any other place. "The SOLDIER exams are in a few months; once I've passed and gotten the enhancements, you won't have to worry about breaking me any more. Until then..."

"Until then, I am staying the hell away from you," Zack interrupted him harshly. "I won't risk hurting you like that again, damn it."

"You're not even going to offer to be just friends?" Cloud asked, a little stung. He'd been counting on being able to get that much with relative ease, figuring it would only be closer contact that Zack would be afraid of. How could being _friends_ hurt?

"Oh, we'll still be friends," Zack shook his head. "Nothing will ever change the fact that you're my best friend, Cloud. I'm just not coming _near_ you. I don't trust my self-restraint around you that much. Sooner or later we'll be alone and you'll... you'll just _look_ at me and my resolve will break. And the longer I manage to control myself, the more likely it is that I'll forget and hurt you when I do lose it. So no. I'll tell your CO not to assign you to me and... what are you doing?"

Cloud kept moving towards him, undaunted by the half-panicked babbling. Later, he thought he might look back on this and laugh at the odd role-reversal; usually he was the one running at the mouth while Zack was trying to calm him.

He stopped just in front of his friend, well within reach, and looked up into the familiar glowing grey-violet eyes. Zack had made a major tactical error in putting his back to the door; there were cupboards on either side to hold the SOLDIERs' uniforms, forming a 'hallway' that was just deep enough to trap Zack there if Cloud stood in front of him. He couldn't even open the door and retreat into the hallway, because the door opened inward.

"It was an accident, Zack," Cloud told him firmly. "It happens all the time apparently; the guys in omega are full of horror stories. All it means is that we have to be careful not to get that carried away, not that we can't see each other at all."

Reaching out, he moved to touch Zack's chest, wanting physical contact as a reassurance. In a lightning fast movement Cloud didn't even see coming, Zack caught him by the wrist and held his hand in the air between them. "The fact that it's a frequent occurrence means I'm _less_ likely to relent on the issue, Cloud," the older boy told him. "That means it's not just a matter of time until I learn total control, I'll _always_ have this problem!"

As upset as he was, Zack was proving his own point with the strength of the grip he was using on Cloud's wrist. The younger boy was going to have a bruise there for weeks, and he could feel the bones grating. He had to bite his lip to stop a cry of pain from escaping him, but he held his ground and refused to back down.

Something must have shown in his eyes, because Zack's grip loosened momentarily as a stricken look crossed his face. Then suddenly it firmed again, clamping down _hard_. There was a horrible cracking noise and nausea washed over Cloud. He'd experienced enough broken bones in his life to recognize the sensation now; Zack had snapped his wrist.

"Do you even understand how close you came to dying?" Zack snarled at him. "If you'd hit your head any harder, your skull could have been broken and the concussion would have killed you or left you brain damaged. If you'd hit your back just a little more forcefully you'd have broken the spine instead of just cracking the vertebrae. Damage to the spinal cord is something they _can't fix_ with magic!"

Still Cloud continued to stare fearlessly up into his friend's eyes, struggling to keep his breathing as level as possible. "I won't let you drive us apart, Zack. Last time it took you almost _dying_ to fix things between us, and I won't let it get that far this time. I need you too much. You're supposed to be watching my back, remember?"

"I _am_ watching your back, you stupid little shit," Zack exclaimed, shaking him by the broken wrist hard enough that Cloud couldn't bite back his cry of pain. "I'm protecting you from your own apparently suicidal tendencies!" Cloud kept glaring up at him, and something close to despair came into Zack's eyes. "Don't you have any sense of self-preservation at all? Why the hell aren't you scared of me?"

He finally released Cloud, pushing on the younger boy's other shoulder so Cloud had to back up a few steps. Cradling the injured wrist to his chest, Cloud gasped for air and fought to steady himself. "I'm not scared of you. I will never _be_ scared of you, Zack. I trust you."

With a cry that was as much agony as anger, Zack turned and put his fist straight through the solid wooden side of the cupboard. "I just deliberately crushed your wrist and you still trust me?" he snapped incredulously.

"You think I don't realize you're hurting me to try to drive me away?" Cloud retorted. "You think I can't see how much it's killing you to do it? I'm not fourteen anymore, Zack. I've been through a lot in the last year, and I'm not a naive little kid now. I _will not let you_ do this to us!"

Closing the distance between them before Zack could free his hand and escape, Cloud grabbed the older boy by the shoulder and leaned up to kiss him hard. Zack fought him, refusing to open his mouth, pushing at the younger boy's shoulder with his free hand. Cloud just hung on more tightly, not letting himself be pushed. Zack would have to use his full strength to get Cloud off him, and he was counting on his friend not wanting to hurt him again.

"Cloud," Zack groaned when the younger boy finally pulled back, but it wasn't a sound of passion. It was the noise a dying animal made when it realized it couldn't fight any more.

"Trust me, if you don't trust yourself," Cloud told him firmly. "I was deliberately provoking you that day, remember? You _had_ control of yourself until I told you to let go. Now I know better. It won't happen again."

"You're crazy, you know that?" Zack said, but he'd stopped pushing at Cloud.

"Isn't that my line?" Cloud asked, smiling despite the agonizing pain in his wrist as he remembered his accusations to Zack the night the older boy had befriended him. "I guess you're rubbing off on me."

"Or something," Zack agreed, relenting with a sigh. "Hold still." He murmured a quick spell, and Cloud was standing so close he could actually feel the rush of magic around Zack before it flowed into his body in the form of a healing spell. The pain in his wrist faded, and then vanished completely.

Flexing his fingers a few times to make sure everything was still connected properly, Cloud leaned against Zack's chest and looked up at him. The older boy had pulled his hand out of the wall and was looking at the shattered board ruefully. "Too bad there isn't a Cure spell for inanimate objects," Cloud chuckled. "At least you hit your own cupboard and not your roommate's."

"Yeah." Carefully, his movements cautious enough that Cloud knew Zack was still terrified of breaking him by accident, the older boy embraced him and buried his face in Cloud's shoulder. "All right, you win. I've been miserable all month, even though it shouldn't have been any different than every other time we were stationed in different places. How'd you get so good at arguing me into submission, anyway?"

"By remembering how _you_ did it every time _I_ was the one pitching a fit and being stupidly sulky," Cloud said wryly. He held Zack tightly in return, revelling in the feel of the older boy against him. Zack laughed despite himself, his breath gusting warm over Cloud's throat and making him shiver.

"You should go," Zack finally murmured, pulling away again. "It's got to be getting late, and I'm completely exhausted. I guess you're probably on duty tomorrow, but we can meet after you get off?"

"And leave you here to talk yourself right back into being determined to avoid me?" Cloud asked, scowling at him. "I _don't_ think so. I'm not going anywhere. The whole damn company knows I've been waiting for you to get back for a month, and Kaine and Dan and Orin will tell them where I am. As long as I report for inspection on time tomorrow morning, I won't get in trouble."

"Cloud, I really am wiped out," Zack pleaded with him. "I'm not going to do anything but sleep."

If Cloud hadn't been standing so close he'd never have seen the fine tremors that wracked Zack's shoulders, the only visible sign of the strain Zack was holding himself under. Sighing, Cloud realized he hadn't really gotten through to his friend at all.

"No," he said, putting every bit of stubbornness he possessed into his voice so Zack would know he meant business. "Damn it Zack, I'm not going to let you pull away from me." He leaned up and kissed Zack again, and though the older boy didn't fight him this time he didn't participate either.

"Kiss me back," Cloud demanded, pulling back slightly. He glared into Zack's eyes from an inch away, utterly determined. "I won't go away until you've kissed me like you really mean it. Do it, and I'll leave you alone until tomorrow. Just one kiss, but you have to convince me you mean it." He didn't think Zack could kiss him, really kiss him, and not get lost enough in it that Cloud would be able to push him into more.

"Fine," Zack rasped, and pulled him close again. "Just one."

This time the kiss was fiery and passionate, threatening to burn Cloud up from the inside out. With a moan he surrendered to it completely while responding just as fiercely in return. The symmetry between this and the last time they'd kissed wasn't lost on him, and he lifted himself to his toes so he could rub against Zack the same way he had then.

Groaning, Zack started to tighten his hands on Cloud's waist, but then jerked his hands away. Cloud wouldn't let him go when he tried to stop the kiss, though, following him back and pressing harder against him.

"Stop," Zack murmured desperately against his mouth, and Cloud pulled back a little. "Stop, Cloud, we can't... we can't do this. Not yet. I need to... to..."

"To what? Nothing's going to change by waiting except you'll be even more certain you'll do something to hurt me," Cloud insisted. "It's just like getting thrown by a chocobo, Zack. You have to get up and get right back on, or you'll be scared of them forever. The only one here who's afraid of you is _you_."

"Like riding..." Zack trailed off and gave Cloud a very odd look, then shook his head. "Never mind. You're really weird sometimes, you know that? But we still shouldn't... Nnh!"

Whatever protest or excuse he'd been about to make was cut off as Cloud ran his hand over Zack's cock through his pants. The older boy wasn't all the way hard, but he wasn't soft either. He wanted this as much as Cloud did, he was just scared.

"We've got the room to ourselves for the night, and there's a perfectly good bed right there," Cloud pointed out, his voice going husky. "When will we get another chance like this? You might be on leave, but I'm standing duty for at least the next five days. By then you'll probably have been sent out again."

"But..." Zack's continued protesting would have been a lot more convincing if he hadn't been leaning back against the door with his eyes half closed, shuddering under Cloud's touch. "I don't want..."

"You're not going to hurt me," Cloud asserted. "Trust me, Zack."

Of course, now he had to make sure he kept that promise. If Zack so much as left a bruise Cloud knew the older boy would never agree to touch him again. Cloud knew as well as anyone the sort of frustration that accumulated after weeks in the field, close quarters as the tents were. And it had been _months_ since he and Zack had a chance to do much of anything together, more months than Cloud liked to think about.

He needed to take the edge off, or Zack really might lose control and hurt him when they got down to it. Cloud didn't particularly want to end up in the hospital again, any more than Zack wanted to put him there.

Well, there was an easy answer for that. Tugging at Zack's uniform belt, Cloud got it and his pants open and pulled the older boy's cock free. From there it was just a short drop to his knees and he was able to wrap his mouth around the heat and hardness of it.

Zack was still soft enough that Cloud could get all of him into his mouth, though he was rapidly awakening under Cloud's touch. They'd done this a few times before but it had always been hurried and furtive. This time Cloud intended to enjoy himself, and make sure Zack did too. The appreciative moans the older boy was making told him he was starting out on the right foot, at least.

Cloud drew back and licked at Zack's cock, his hands pinning the other boy's hips to the door. It wouldn't stop him if he really wanted to thrust, but it was enough to remind Zack not to. When they'd done this before Zack made SOLDIER the older boy had always run his hands through Cloud's hair, but this time Cloud was just a bit grateful that he chose to hang onto the doorknob and the hole in the cupboard instead. He trusted Zack, but you could only ask so much of a person.

"Cloud, fuck, Cloud," Zack whispered harshly, clearly struggling to keep his voice down. "You're gonna make me embarrass myself. Been too long..." He gasped when Cloud grazed his teeth very gently over the tip, and shuddered.

"Do it," Cloud murmured against him, licking at him again. "That's what I want." He took as much of Zack's cock into his mouth as he could, feeling it harden further still under his lips. Zack's hips made little jerking motions like he was just barely restraining himself from snapping forward, and Cloud let that tell him what rhythm and speed he should use.

It worked better than he could have hoped. He heard something crack sharply above him, and then Zack was coming in his mouth in spurts of bitter fluid. Cloud swallowed it all, making a face as he did so but knowing from experience that it felt better that way. When Zack finally collapsed back against the door, most of the tension drained from his body, Cloud pulled away and looked up at him.

He found Zack ruefully contemplating the section of cupboard wall that had broken off in his hand. "Remind me again why you trust me not to get carried away and hurt you?"

"Because it's wood in your hand, not my hair," Cloud said promptly, pulling himself to his feet. He was achingly hard, pressed far too tight against the front of his uniform pants, but that was fine. It wasn't like he could hurt Zack at all, so he could be as worked up as he wanted to be. "At least it wasn't the doorknob."

"I'm still going to have a bitch of a time explaining it," Zack sighed, and tossed the wood aside. His hand was shaking a little as he ran it through Cloud's hair and pulled the blonde towards him for a kiss.

This kiss was less urgent, though no less heated. Cloud moaned into Zack's mouth and arched up against him, his body trembling with need. Zack ran his hands up and down Cloud's back, soothing him and further enflaming him at the same time.

"Are you sure?" Zack asked against his mouth, and Cloud pounded a fist into the older boy's shoulder.

"What did I tell you right at the start about talking too much?" he demanded, half amused and half exasperated.

Chuckling, Zack cupped his hands under Cloud's ass and lifted him right off his feet. Cloud wrapped his legs around the older boy's waist instinctively, groaning as that made his trapped cock rub up against Zack. Unlike the last time in the hotel, Zack's hands were gentle and not bruising at all as he carried Cloud the few steps over to the bed.

They tumbled down together, Zack's heavier body pressing Cloud into the mattress. His hands were tugging at the blonde's clothing, but from this position he really didn't have any leverage. Cursing softly, Zack pulled away so he could do the job properly, and Cloud helpfully squirmed to get the clothes off him. "You're wearing too much," he promptly accused Zack.

"Yeah, in a second," Zack replied distantly, his eyes fixed on Cloud's body as if he wanted to make sure he saw every inch of it. Cloud blushed at the intense scrutiny, but made no attempt to cover himself. This was the first time he'd been naked in front of Zack when they were in private, he realized. Communal showers just didn't count, since there was no time to look and appreciate. Zack was certainly looking and appreciating now, and it made Cloud burn hotter still.

"Zack," he said breathlessly, and the name was a plea. For what, Cloud wasn't sure, but whatever it was he was more than willing to beg for it. "Please, Zack."

Heat flared in Zack's eyes, intensifying the mako glow, and the older boy shuddered. "Shit, Cloud, don't do that," he said hoarsely, pulling farther back despite Cloud's dismayed protest. "No, stay still. I'm just getting my clothes off."

He stripped out of his uniform with no care for where it landed, and Cloud drank in every inch of revealed flesh hungrily. Zack was tan all over, he discovered, though the colour was closer to pale honey than bronze on the parts of his body that didn't often see sun. The muscles beneath his skin stood out in stark relief, and he looked like a statue to some god of sun and war. Cloud actually forgot to breathe for a moment, just staring like he'd never get to see it again.

"If you keep looking at me like that, you really are going to end up back in the hospital," Zack warned him, his voice strained. "How can you do this to me with just a look? I'm hard again already."

"That might have more to do with being sixteen and about to get some for the first time in months," Cloud replied wryly. "Unless there's something I don't know about?" At this point, after so many months apart, he honestly wouldn't even blame Zack if the older boy had sought temporary release elsewhere. Either with the whores that were always available to anyone in uniform, or another SOLDIER in his unit. Cloud never had, but then he just couldn't imagine being that close to anyone but Zack.

"No," Zack shook his head. "I was tempted a time or two, believe me. But it's just been me and my hand, when I could even manage that much." He dropped to his hands and knees again, leaning over Cloud and slowly lowering himself down. "I've wanted this so damn long," he moaned as their bodies made contact.

Arching up against him and rubbing his cock into Zack's hip, Cloud gave an incoherent cry of need. He clung to his restraint fiercely, knowing that if he lost control now then Zack would never trust him to keep it together in the future, and Cloud had promised to be the one who made sure things didn't get too out of hand.

"I wanted it too," Cloud gasped, trembling beneath him. "Gods, Zack, you have no idea how often I would dream about being with you, like this. Do it, please, please, I'm not going to last much longer."

Reaching out, Zack fumbled in the drawer of the stand by his bed and emerged with a small tube. "You're lucky I keep this around," Zack muttered, unscrewing the cap and letting the slippery gel spill onto his fingers. Cloud stole enough to coat his hand and wrapped it around Zack's renewed erection, stroking slowly to spread the oil over his length. Taking the edge off was all well and good, but if he didn't get Zack at least a little worked up again then Cloud was never going to last long enough.

"Fuck, Cloud," Zack hissed as his cock twitched in Cloud's hand and his hips jerked. "Damn it, when you are a SOLDIER I'm going to pay you back for every time you've ever teased me, with interest."

"I guess I'll have to... oh, _gods_ ," Cloud momentarily lost his train of thought as Zack slid two slick fingers inside him at once, stretching him almost to the point of pain. Panting, Cloud rode out the sensation as Zack worked his fingers in deeper, willing himself to relax around them. "I guess I'll just have to tease you as much as possible before then," he almost purred. "S-sounds like I'll enjoy the payback."

"You," Zack twisted his fingers inside Cloud and hit the spot that made Cloud cry out and arch his back, "are totally out of your mind. Gods, you're so tight."

"Be tighter... around your cock," Cloud choked out, doing his best to sound inviting and mostly just ending up desperate. He remembered how good it had felt that night after the SOLDIER exam, the sensation indelibly inked on his brain, but he just knew it would be even better now.

"Too tight," Zack replied, twisting his fingers again. "I'd hurt you like this even if I wasn't a SOLDIER."

"Hurry up, then," Cloud pleaded. His cock was already leaking clear fluid, and he wasn't going to last long at this rate. He tugged on Zack's cock to encourage him, but only got another maddening flick of fingers in return.

Despite Cloud's best efforts, Zack insisted on preparing him as thoroughly as possible. By the time he finally slid his cock slowly inside Cloud's body they were both panting and shaking, but Cloud took him in easily.

Coming to rest against Cloud's body, Zack paused for a long moment with his weight pressing Cloud into the bed. At last he began to move, giving them what they'd both wanted for so long, and Cloud clutched at his back hard enough to leave bruises even on a SOLDIER.

The rhythm and speed picked up quickly, neither of them able to deny themselves now. Cloud moaned with every thrust, arching his hips up to meet each one and driving Zack as deep inside him as possible. He tilted his head back to let Zack bite at his neck and shoulder, and the older boy growled and thrust into him hard.

Cloud gave a sharp cry as the rough motion caused a stab of pain, and Zack froze above him. "Fuck, this isn't going to work," Zack gasped and shifted his weight.

Frantically Cloud clung to him, refusing to let him pull out. "I can handle it Zack, really, don't go, you can't leave me like _this_..."

"I'm not leaving," Zack promised softly, gathering Cloud against him. Twisting, he rearranged them so that he was the one lying flat on his back on the bed and Cloud was sitting above him.

The new position somehow meant Cloud was able to take just a bit more of Zack's cock inside him, and he cried out at the sensation. Now he was the one controlling the pace and the angle, and he was reminded sharply of the way it had been up on the supports of the roller coaster.

He'd been enjoying having Zack thrusting over him, but he could see the wisdom of this position. It would have been easier to move if Zack had been supporting his waist, but seeing the way the older boy had fisted his hands tightly in the sheets Cloud wasn't surprised that Zack wasn't touching him.

Instead Cloud put his hands flat on Zack's muscled chest and used that to steady himself as he lifted and lowered himself. It meant he couldn't lean back as far as he wanted to, but it still felt unbelievably good. The only problem was that he wasn't getting any stimulation to his cock this way, and he didn't dare ask Zack to do it.

Well, if he couldn't come from this alone, he could always finish himself quickly once Zack had come again. Closing his eyes to mere slits, Cloud struggled to watch the expressions flitting over Zack's face as the older boy neared the edge. Breathing hard, Cloud sped his pace a bit more, the muscles in his thighs burning but not threatening to give out just yet.

Zack was breathing in ragged gasps and the cords in his neck stood out in stark relief as he threw his head back and tensed. Cloud heard something tear, probably the sheets, and then Zack was bucking beneath him and coming hard into Cloud's body.

Quickly Cloud moved one hand to his own cock, but to his shock Zack beat him there by half a second. Eyes now more violet than grey with mako glow watched him as Zack stroked him carefully, visibly fighting for control. Feeling Zack slowly relax beneath him, Cloud tossed his head and straightened his spine, trusting that Zack would steady him.

Sure enough Zack lifted his other hand to Cloud's waist, and the blonde was able to lean back far enough that Zack's still mostly-hard cock hit that amazing spot inside him. With a cry that was almost a shout Cloud was finally pushed over the edge, spilling over Zack's hand.

He lost track of reality for a few moments, not blacking out but simply lost in the haze of pleasure. When he came back to himself he found Zack had tugged him down to lie draped over the older boy's chest, rising and falling with the rhythm of Zack's still somewhat ragged breathing.

"See?" he managed to say drowsily. "No problem. Aren't you glad I'm more stubborn than you?"

Zack's chuckle rumbled under Cloud's cheek and made his chest shake oddly. "Yeah," he agreed, sounding completely exhausted. " _Now_ are you going to let me sleep? I wasn't kidding about how tired I was, you know."

"Only if you promise I don't have to move yet," Cloud mumbled in reply. He was far too content to want to go anywhere. Zack laughed again.

"No, you can stay. I'll wake you up before reveille so you can get back in time for inspection," Zack promised.

A feather light touch brushed against Cloud's cheek, and he smiled in response. "Sleep well, Cloud," Zack whispered, wrapping one arm around the younger boy's back. "Thank you for being you." Cloud might have protested such an absurd statement, but he was already too far into sleep.


	23. Chapter 23

The one downside to having a company made up mostly of potential SOLDIER candidates was that the entire unit pretty much ground to a halt around the time of the exams. Cloud was far from the only one going through the motions of his duties while mumbling bits of trivia to himself. Nobody assigned any missions or duties to omega company that might be mentally taxing in the week before the written.

It also meant that the SOLDIER exams tended to be scheduled at the most convenient time for omega company. Since they were generally scattered across the globe in smaller units along with the SOLDIERs, it took a concentrated effort to get everyone who wanted to take the exams back to Midgar for the duration. This year they were being held just a few weeks before Cloud's sixteenth birthday, rather than a month or so after as they had been last time.

Most of them had been through it before, so they knew what they needed to study for - which was to say, pretty much everything that was in the manual, and quite a lot of stuff that wasn't. When they weren't all studying, they were paired or grouped together for physical training. Minor concerns like sleep and food were low on the list of priorities, and it fell to the minority of the company not taking the exams to ensure their comrades-in-arms stayed alive long enough to make it to the exam at all.

Cloud might have passed the written exam last year, but he was far from willing to assume that he would remember enough to pass again this year. He was treating it as if he'd never taken the test before, and starting from scratch with his studying.

It was at times like this that he missed Zack the most. Working in the same unit with his best friend was a million times better than hoping they would occasionally have leave at the same time in the same place, but it still didn't replace the closeness they'd enjoyed when they were both the same rank in the same platoon. Studying for the written by himself or with his current toonmates just wasn't the same as huddling up on Zack's bunk with a flashlight and a textbook.

Worse, Zack wasn't even there to help coach or drill him, or just figuratively hold his hand. The SOLDIER 1st Class they were both assigned to as support had decided that since they all needed to come back to Midgar for Cloud to take the exams anyway, now was an opportune time for Zack to get his next set of mako enhancements. Zack hadn't exactly been able to say 'no', though he had managed to talk Captain Marek into returning a few days ahead of schedule so he would be over the worst of the effects by the time the exam actually started. He'd promised to be there to distract Cloud while he was waiting for the results of the written, and to cheer him on in the physical.

First Cloud had to get that far, though. So he threw himself into preparing with everything he had, being even more obsessive about it than he had the year before. Even most of omega company remarked on his strength of focus with awe in their voices.

They didn't understand. Failure wasn't an option for Cloud, not this year. Not only would not passing mean disappointing himself, Zack and even General Sephiroth, but it would mean a _whole year more_ before Zack would be able to touch him without worrying about breaking him. Cloud was already heartily sick of the fear in his best friend's eyes, however deeply hidden, whenever they had a chance to be together. He wanted things back the way they had been before, when they could be carelessly rowdy with each other if they wanted to be. Having Zack treat him like he was made of glass only reminded Cloud how far beneath Zack he was in standing and ability.

He wanted them to be equals again, and that was the need that drove him to continue studying or training long after the others had given up for the day. Never mind that Zack would now be 2nd Class while Cloud was only 3rd. They would both be SOLDIERs, and that was the important part.

And when he lay aching and exhausted in his bunk late at night, his eyes hurting from all the reading and muscles protesting the abuse he put them through, he comforted himself with the other promise Zack had made just before heading off to the labs. Thanks to the fact that they'd been at opposite ends of a minefield for that whole week they hadn't had a chance to do anything to celebrate Zack's seventeenth birthday, nor had there been any opportunities since. Zack had promised a chance to make up for that combined with a celebration for Cloud's victory - in the new, _single_ room he would have as a 2nd Class. Cloud still wouldn't have his mako enhancements yet, but he was looking forward to it anyway.

The day before the exams, all of omega company was given leave. Captain Edmund was a wise enough commander to realize that asking his troops to concentrate on _anything_ else today was a waste of his time and theirs.

Cloud had retreated to a corner of the mess, staking out his territory with his notes and books spread around him. Today was his day to double check that he still remembered everything he thought he did. He'd learned his lesson from last year; once he went to bed tonight, he wasn't going to touch another piece of paper until the exam started. No last-minute cramming for him.

Bemused, he wondered how the other exam participants would react if he tried to start a drill session again this year, like Zack had. Hell, enough of them had probably taken it last year to remember, he might even be able to get away with it.

Not everyone had come to the mess to do their studying, since it tended to be a noisy and busy room. Many had found other more private places to hole up in, but Cloud had enough focus to be able to tune out all the bustle around him and the mess was the only place where he could sit at a table and still be able to spread all his stuff out.

In fact, he had been so successful at absorbing himself and ignoring his environment that he almost missed hearing someone call out, "Officer in the room! Attention!"

It was the sudden scrape of benches across the room that alerted him to what was going on, and he hastily jumped to his feet and saluted. Mentally he cursed whoever it was and hoped they wouldn't be staying long; this was one disadvantage to studying in a public area that he hadn't considered.

"As you were," a now-familiar deep voice said, and Cloud started. Turning, he saw that it was indeed none other than General Sephiroth standing at the door to their mess.

While omega company certainly had more contact with the general than the rest of the regular troops, usually that was after they were already in the field, not here in Midgar. Cloud couldn't think of a single good reason the general would be here, unless maybe he was just checking up on the SOLDIER candidates.

To his further surprise, the general continued, "Is Corporal Cloud present?"

For a moment Cloud was almost too shocked to react, but he pulled himself together and saluted again. "Sir!"

"Ah, good." There was a faint hint of a smile on the man's face, quickly gone. "I was afraid you might be the type to squirrel yourself away just before the exams. Come with me, please."

"Sir, yes sir!" Cloud acknowledged. He spared a bare moment to consider what to do with his books and notes, and finally decided to leave them as they were. He had no idea what the general wanted him for, but he doubted it would involve studying.

The others in the mess gave him curious and even envious looks as he passed, and he shrugged slightly at them to indicate he had no idea what was going on, either. When he reached Sephiroth's side he stopped and saluted again, and the silver-haired man nodded. "This way."

Sephiroth led him into one of the nearby briefing rooms, used for meetings with small units of the company when they were either going out to or coming back from a mission. Indicating that Cloud should take a seat, the general closed the door behind them.

Perched nervously on the edge of his chair, Cloud studied the general and tried to decipher the man's purpose in bringing him here. Sephiroth looked grim, his green eyes narrow with an emotion that Cloud couldn't read but was certain wasn't good. Had Cloud done something to get himself into trouble? Frantically he reviewed everything he'd done in the last few days, trying to figure out if he'd broken any rules or stepped on any toes. He couldn't think of anything; he'd been absorbed in studying, and he'd been officially on leave since the moment their unit returned to Midgar so he hadn't neglected any duties.

"You haven't done anything wrong, corporal," Sephiroth assured him, probably reading his fears on Cloud's face. Cloud relaxed marginally, but stiffened again as the general continued. "I wanted you to hear this from me, first. Your friend is suffering from a severe negative reaction to his latest round of mako injections."

Heart pounding, Cloud stared at him and swallowed hard. "Like the last time, sir?" he asked, though he didn't think Sephiroth would be so grim if that was all it was. Zack had been delirious back then, but Sephiroth hadn't seemed overly concerned at the time. In fact, Cloud remembered he'd said it was a good indication that Zack might be able to go all the way to 1st Class.

"Considerably worse, I'm afraid," Sephiroth said. His voice was calm, but something that looked suspiciously like anger flared in his eyes. "It's very dangerous to receive the injections less than a year apart. Captain Marek mistakenly assumed that Lieutenant Zack's presence in the Specials meant he must have been 3rd Class for some time already, and apparently none of the lab techs thought to check the lieutenant's file."

"Dangerous?" Cloud's voice cracked embarrassingly, something it hadn't done for quite a while, and he cleared his throat. His hands were gripping the edges of the seat tightly enough that if he'd been a SOLDIER he'd probably have broken pieces off by now. "How dangerous? Why? Is he going to be okay?"

"The injections are essentially a controlled dose of mako poisoning," Sephiroth told him frankly. "It takes approximately a year for the last of it to work its way out of the system. Adding more before that happens means creating an overdose, and it can have... adverse effects on the human body and brain. People have survived it in the past, but not everyone and not always as they were before."

Most of Cloud's brain was spinning in neutral, in a state of shock so profound he literally couldn't connect one thought to another.

Finally he pinched himself hard enough to give him something to concentrate on other than the shock. Closing his eyes, he drew a deep breath and looked up at the general again. "Thank you for telling me, sir." How awful would it have been to get this news from some impersonal lab tech, or worse, to hear about it through the grapevine.

"I'm sorry I have to give you such bad news so close to the exams, corporal," the man apologized sincerely.

"No, I'd rather know now, sir," Cloud said, though his voice wavered slightly. "Is there anything I can do for him?"

"He's been calling for you, actually," Sephiroth admitted. "Ordinarily you wouldn't be allowed anywhere near him; he's in the labs, not the infirmary. But in my experience having someone or something nearby that means a great deal to the victim can make a difference." Cloud had to resist the urge to squirm and blush under the dry look Sephiroth gave him, wondering just how much the general knew or guessed about his real relationship with Zack.

"Can I go to him, sir? Please?" Cloud pleaded, unable to stand the thought of Zack calling for him and believing that Cloud had abandoned him.

"I was hoping you would ask." Sephiroth nodded. "I'm sure I don't need to tell you that everything in this conversation, and anything you might learn from this point on, is highly classified. I'm trusting your discretion, corporal. Don't make me regret it."

"No, sir," Cloud said fervently. Somehow he thought a court martial would be the _least_ of his worries if he ever broke _Sephiroth's_ trust.

"Come with me, then." The general gestured, and led the way out of the room. Cloud marched along at his heels, worry winding him tighter with every step they took.

Sephiroth led him into the main Shinra building, and Cloud could feel the curious looks they drew from everyone around. He wondered what they thought was going on, watching the Silver General himself with a mere corporal tagging along like a faithful puppy. Once they got into the elevator and Sephiroth swiped his keycard to give them access to the higher levels, Cloud had to fight just to keep his breathing steady.

He was worried, more worried than he'd been since Mideel. Zack's collapse in the alleys after his first injections had scared him, but Sephiroth had come along and assured him everything was fine before he'd had a chance to _really_ panic. Now even Sephiroth seemed worried, and Cloud figured anything that could get to the general had to be pretty bad, indeed.

What could he do? Cloud was just a kid, when it came right down to it. What if he couldn't help Zack enough? If the best scientists and experts in Shinra couldn't do anything, how was Cloud supposed to fix it?

But he had to do it, somehow. The alternative was too horrible to contemplate. When Cloud had left Nibelheim all those months ago it had been with the intention of proving his worth to himself and everyone else by becoming a SOLDIER. At some point along the way the dream had shifted and changed, and now Cloud literally couldn't imagine doing it without Zack at his side.

He forgot to even be nervous about the spooky atmosphere of the lab as he followed Sephiroth off the elevator and into parts of Hojo's territory he'd never been in before. You had to have a high security clearance to stand guard up here, Cloud knew. Under ordinary circumstances he would never have seen this area until it was time for him to get his own mako enhancements. He resisted the urge to look around curiously, focused on getting to Zack.

The room the general led him to could have passed for any high-tech hospital room. There was only one bed, but Cloud couldn't see Zack for the crowd of white-coated technicians bustling around. At the front of the group was none other than Professor Hojo himself, hands tucked behind his back as he calmly gave orders to his subordinates.

A cry of pain and fear came from the middle of the crowd, and Cloud's heart clenched as he recognized Zack's voice. The older boy sounded almost hysterical, and his voice was hoarse as if he'd been screaming enough to wear it away. His words were mostly unintelligible, but Cloud could tell it was a plea for something. Release, perhaps, or begging someone to end the agony he was obviously in.

Without waiting for direction or permission from the general Cloud darted into the crowd and wormed his way between the scientists. His small stature stood him in good stead here, letting him work his way through the group with relative ease. He emerged at Zack's side and drew a sharp breath at the sight of his friend.

Zack was sweating and struggling, fighting the restraints that bound him to the bed. The straps were metal reinforced and looked heavy enough that Cloud wasn't sure he would even be able to lift one of them, but they seemed barely strong enough to contain the delirious SOLDIER. The older boy's eyes were open but it was obvious that he wasn't seeing what was actually in front of him, his expression filled with panic and suffering.

He cried out again, wrenching at his arms hard enough that Cloud was surprised he hadn't dislocated his own shoulders. This time Cloud was close enough to make out some of his words. "No! No, no... please, gods... Cloud! Noooo..."

"Zack!" Cloud exclaimed, and grabbed for his friend's hand without thinking. If he'd thought the older boy's grip had been crushing after his first mako injections, that was nothing compared to the way he clamped down on Cloud's hand now. Hissing in pain Cloud braced his body against the side of the bed and forced himself not to jerk away. "Zack!" he called again, praying his voice would reach his friend's fevered brain. "Zack, I'm here, it's okay!"

"What is this?" Hojo sounded annoyed, as if Cloud had interrupted him in the middle of an important experiment. "Where did it come from? Remove it at once, it's interfering."

It took Cloud a moment to realize that the 'it' in question was him, but he resisted when the technicians grabbed him by the arms and shoulders and tried to pull him away from the bed. "No! Let go, damn it! I'm not leaving him!"

Not that they could have gotten him away anyway, at least not without removing his hand from his arm. Zack had a death grip on him, and as painful as it was Cloud took it as a sign that his friend knew he was there.

"Release him," he heard Sephiroth order behind him, and the hands on him faltered. Some part of Cloud that wasn't focused entirely on Zack marvelled that they didn't back off immediately. He couldn't imagine anybody disobeying an order from Sephiroth, especially not when it was delivered in that tone of voice.

Of course, the techs weren't ultimately answerable to Sephiroth or the army, he was reminded when Hojo spoke again. "Sephiroth. Why are you here? Are you the cause of this? Take it away this instant. It doesn't belong here."

"Professor." Once again Cloud thought the title sounded more ironic than genuine when Sephiroth said it, as if there was no real respect behind it. "This is the friend the lieutenant has been calling for. I'm sure I don't need to remind you of the positive response to the presence of such friends in past cases of overdose."

It definitely wasn't Cloud's imagination; there was significant tension between the general and the professor. Hojo pushed his glasses up, staring at Cloud and Sephiroth with a cold gaze. "You have no authority here," the professor said bluntly to Sephiroth. "This is my purview, and I don't want any outside influences possibly damaging the subject's psyche further."

"On the contrary, professor." Cloud shivered at the low, dangerous tone in Sephiroth's voice, and he was amazed the techs still had the fortitude to hold their ground. "The lieutenant is a member of the Specials and therefore under my direct command, as well as being my responsibility as the general of Shinra's forces. That puts him very much under my authority. He is a SOLDIER, not a research subject."

Zack was muttering to himself, tossing his head and bucking against the restraints as spasms wracked his body. He coughed wetly, and vile green liquid ran down from the corner of his mouth as he shuddered. He'd subsided somewhat, no longer fighting the straps quite as hard, but Cloud wasn't sure if it was in response to his presence or not.

Deciding the continuing politely scathing argument between the general and the professor wasn't anything he could affect, Cloud leaned over his friend and brushed Zack's sweaty bangs off his face as he had in Mideel. "Zack, it's Cloud," he murmured, keeping his voice low enough that only Zack would hear it. "It's okay, everything is going to be fine. You'll be okay." He forced confidence into his voice, not wanting his terror to be communicated to his friend.

"Cloud?" For a moment Cloud thought the older boy was actually responding to him, but Zack wasn't looking at him. "Cloud? Gods, it hurts, it _hurts_ , don't... Cloud..." He coughed again, harder this time, on and on until Cloud was afraid he might suffocate. His hand tightened on Cloud's again, and the younger boy's knees went weak at the surge of pain.

He really needed to stop putting himself in this position, Cloud reflected as he struggled through the pain. Well, the easiest way would be to become a SOLDIER himself, so Zack wouldn't be able to hurt him so easily. At the moment he was more worried about getting Zack through this alive than with passing the exam tomorrow, though.

A strong hand tugged at Zack's, prying the fingers loose from around Cloud's. For a horrible moment Cloud thought that meant Hojo had won the argument and he was going to have to leave, but when he looked up he found General Sephiroth was the one working him free. "I suggest that if you're going to touch him to reassure him of your presence, corporal, you find somewhere to do it such that he can't get hold of you in turn," the general said wryly. "I can't remain here to cast Cure on you every time he breaks something, and you won't do him any good if you're incapacitated by pain as well."

Once he had Cloud's hand free he cast the healing spell and released him, and Cloud sheepishly moved so his newly restored hand was resting on Zack's upper arm instead. "Yes, sir. Does that mean I can stay?"

"Yes. Stay out of the way of the technicians," Sephiroth ordered him. He glanced at Zack, who had subsided after the bout of coughing and was now lying quietly, staring blankly up at the ceiling as his chest rose and fell in ragged breaths. "It looks like he's slipped into the catatonic stage. That's good in that it means he won't fight and injure himself, but it's also the most dangerous response in terms of his sanity. He wouldn't be the first man to be lost in his own mind as a result of mako poisoning. Talk to him, see if you can draw him out of it."

Heart pounding with fear in his chest, Cloud nodded and tightened his grip on Zack's arm, saluting the general with his free hand. "You can count on me, sir. I won't let him slip away that easily."

"I know you won't, corporal," Sephiroth agreed with the faintest trace of a smile. "I'll have some rations and your manuals sent up, and I'll make sure someone comes to fetch you before the exam starts. Good luck." He returned Cloud's salute briefly, then turned on his heel and was gone.

Looking around, Cloud saw that Hojo had already left, presumably once he'd lost the argument with the general. Most of the techs had gone with him and the few remaining were studiously ignoring Cloud, as if they were afraid that acknowledging him would bring their boss's wrath down on all their heads.

That suited Cloud just fine. He left Zack's side just long enough to steal one of the stools from the monitoring station, moved it to the side of the bed and settled in to wait. And while he waited, he talked, in a low smooth voice that revealed none of his internal worry and panic.

At first he couldn't think of anything to say, stammering over whatever trivialities came into his head. He repeated the gossip currently circulating among omega company, which mostly had to do with the upcoming exams. Once that topic was exhausted he rehashed the popular battle stories and legends told among all the troops, most of which had to do with the war in Wutai and the Silver General. From there it was a natural progression to reminiscing over the battles and adventures Cloud and Zack had had, together and separately.

When his voice grew so hoarse from talking that he could barely squeak out the words, one of the techs dared to take pity on him and fetched him some water. Cloud acknowledged the kind gesture with a nod and stopped talking only long enough to gulp the water down.

For the most part, though, the sound of the beeping monitors and Cloud's soft, steady chattering were constant in the room. In the beginning Cloud wasn't sure if he was even making a difference. Zack's breathing had evened out, but the older boy continued to stare blankly at the ceiling no matter what Cloud talked about. It wasn't until Cloud could ignore the needs of his body no longer and was forced to seek out a bathroom that he got confirmation that his presence was noticed; when he returned, Zack had grown restless and was moaning softly in pain again. He stilled when Cloud hushed him, and the blonde grew more determined than ever not to leave his friend's side.

At some point someone brought a bag containing all his books and notes from the mess to him, and he found a sealed field ration packet in the bag as well. "You said you wished you could help me study," Cloud told Zack with an uneven smile, settling back onto the stool with one of the books and the rations. "Now's your chance. Let me know when I make a mistake, okay?"

He started reviewing the material aloud, snatching gulps of the rations between sentences. Once or twice he deliberately made blatant mistakes, out of a wistful desire to see if Zack might not correct him after all. The older boy didn't stir, but it made Cloud feel obscurely better that he was able to study 'with' his friend.

More than a year as a trooper had taught him how to stay awake through the night when it was necessary, even on the most boring patrols or watch duties. Cloud kept reading and talking as the hours wore by, mostly oblivious to the movement of other people around him. Nobody interrupted him, and that was all that really mattered as far as he was concerned.

Unfortunately, they couldn't remain undisturbed forever. When somebody did finally rest a hand on Cloud's shoulder and shake him slightly to jolt him out of the almost trance-like state he'd fallen into, he turned on them and snapped. "What?"

Too late, the silver hair and bright green eyes of the man leaning over him registered, and Cloud nearly bit his tongue off. "Sir!" he exclaimed, scrambling off the stool and saluting. "I'm sorry sir, I thought you were one of the techs."

"Understood, corporal," the general nodded. "As you were. How is he?"

Glancing at Zack, Cloud bit his lip. "The same," he admitted. "He gets restless if I leave or stop talking longer than it takes to grab a drink, so I think he's aware that I'm here. But otherwise he hasn't changed condition at all."

"The fact that he's even responding that much is encouraging," Sephiroth said, and something relaxed in Cloud that had been tight enough to choke him until that moment. The general didn't look as grim as he had the day before, and if he said things were encouraging then Cloud believed him.

"At any rate, the written exam begins in an hour," the general continued. "I wanted to check on him, so I thought I would remind you myself rather than sending someone."

Cloud blinked in shock. The exam was starting? Already? That couldn't be right. It couldn't be starting _now_... Zack wasn't awake yet. "I can't leave!" he blurted out, wide-eyed. "Zack still needs me!"

That earned him a sharp look from Sephiroth. "Your loyalty is commendable, corporal, but I think the lieutenant will understand, once he wakes. If you hurry, you can grab breakfast before the exam starts."

Torn, Cloud looked from the general to Zack, and back again. Slowly he shook his head. "I can't, sir," he said, his voice hardly louder than a whisper. "He gets agitated if I leave even for a few minutes. He could hurt himself, or slip away entirely. I have to stay with him."

"I'll find someone to stay with him, corporal," Sephiroth assured him. "One of the other SOLDIERs he went through training with, perhaps."

Swallowing hard, Cloud shook his head. "With all due respect, sir, they're not the ones he was calling for. What if it makes a difference?"

"Corporal, you do realize I can't make any exceptions for you in this matter," Sephiroth insisted, frowning. "If you don't participate in the written exam, you won't have another opportunity to get into SOLDIER until next year."

Frankly Cloud was shocked that Sephiroth might even think he would expect some kind of exception to be made, and it showed on his face. "I would never ask for something like that, sir," he said, lifting his eyes and meeting the general's glowing gaze head-on. "There will be other opportunities to take the exam. There's only one Zack. I can't risk it."

Sephiroth studied him, perhaps judging his resolve, and finally nodded. He had the same odd expression in his eyes that Cloud had seen in the cave on the glacier, when he'd been watching Zack and Cloud huddle together for warmth. "As you wish," the general acknowledged. "If he wakes or you change your mind you may join the rest of the exam participants, but you won't be granted any extra time to finish."

"Understood, sir," Cloud said, and saluted again. He was proud that his hand shook only a little as Sephiroth returned the salute and left. Inside he was dying a little with each passing moment, picturing another whole year as a regular trooper. His dream was slipping from his grasp once again, this time by his own choice.

What other decision could he make, though? Sinking back onto the stool, Cloud buried his face in his hands and forced himself to swallow the sobs that threatened to escape him. He knew it was the right thing to do, but that didn't make it any easier to face.

It wasn't until Zack started to whimper again that Cloud took a deep breath and sat upright, reaching for the book he'd been reading from before Sephiroth had interrupted him. His voice was a little unsteady with pain and regret, but it worked to comfort Zack anyway and that was the important thing.

Cloud nearly changed his mind half a dozen times in the first hour, before the exam started. Twice he even set his book aside and moved towards the door, but both times he couldn't resist glancing over his shoulder before leaving. The sight of Zack, pale and sweating and helpless in the restraints, reminded him that some things were more important than the exams and he returned to his seat both times.

After the second hour he covered the clock on the wall so he wouldn't have to see it ticking away the minutes, taping a blank sheet of paper from his notebook over it. By the end of the third hour he'd abandoned his books and notes altogether, stacking them in a haphazard pile out of sight on the other side of the bed and returning to just talking off the top of his head. He deliberately chose a topic that had nothing to do with the military, reciting every folk tale and children's story he could remember.

It all helped, and after a while the tightness left his throat and he was able to speak easily again. Maybe it was just the knowledge that even if he left now he wouldn't have time to answer enough questions to pass, and so the decision was out of his hands. Whatever it was, Cloud was grateful for it since it let him concentrate better on his friend.

Eventually he ran out of stories, and he cast about helplessly for another topic. He didn't want to go back to reading out of his manuals, but it was that or start telling stories about his own childhood and he didn't really want to go into that. Not that he didn't trust Zack with that kind of thing, but he and Zack weren't alone in the room.

He was so focused on thinking of something else to talk about that he was hardly aware of the quiet murmur from one side. "What, you're not going to tell the one about the golden chocobo that had a whole line of people stuck to it and trailing along behind?"

"Right! I forgot about that one!" Cloud exclaimed, perking up. "Once upon a time, there was a... Zack?" Belatedly the fact that he recognized the voice registered with him, and he whipped his head around to stare at his friend.

Zack's eyes were focused on him, and though he looked too tired to even lift his head there was a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Once upon a time there was a Zack?" he repeated in a cracked whisper. "Didn't know I had a namesake in this story."

"Zack!" Cloud choked up on the name, and couldn't get out any of the other words that he'd meant to come after it. Instead he threw himself forward and wrapped his arms around his friend's neck, struggling not to end up crying into Zack's shoulder. Finally he found his voice. "Oh merciful Alexander, you're awake! I thought I was going to lose you."

"Whoa, hey," Zack said hoarsely, sounding surprised. "What are you on about?" The straps creaked as he tried to move, and the surprise turned to shock. "Why am I tied down?"

"You were delirious, thrashing around and hurting yourself," Cloud explained, pulling back enough to see Zack's face and hastily wiping his watering eyes. "I think they were afraid you might attack them, too."

"Shit, I had a bad reaction again?" Zack grimaced. "Sounds like it was even worse this time; they didn't tie me down last time. I was hoping that wouldn't happen again."

Shaking his head, Cloud tried to figure out how much he should tell Zack of how close the older boy had come to death or possible insanity. All of it, he finally decided. Zack deserved to know. "You're not supposed to get the injections closer than a year apart," he said, his voice nearly as hoarse as Zack's. "It causes an overdose. Even the general was worried."

He wasn't sure if it was his words or the obvious signs of his fear that reached Zack, but the older boy looked shaken. "Shit. That's the second time out of two that I've run into trouble because somebody was careless. Remind me to get the _full_ disclaimer before I agree to the third set, if they offer them."

Laughing, because he had to or he really was going to cry, Cloud shook his head. "Right now I just want to concentrate on being glad you survived to make it to 2nd Class."

"Hey, shit, speaking of which, what are you doing here?" Zack asked, startled. "Shouldn't you be studying for the exam?"

Cloud's breath hitched, but he managed to force a smile onto his face. "Don't worry about it. I've got plenty of time," he lied. Well, technically it wasn't even a lie - he had a whole year to study, now. Plenty of time, and then some.

Some of the techs came forward to run various tests on Zack, and finally one of them consented to unstrap him when he'd remained lucid for some time. He had to be assisted to a sitting position, his body once again completely uncoordinated because of the extreme enhancements. "Hades, I'm going to have to get used to moving all over again!" Zack said, grimacing. "You'd better pass that exam, Cloud, or I really am going to break you one of these days." Cloud bit his lip and said nothing, grateful for Zack's preoccupation with trying to figure out how to use his body.

Cloud had been half afraid that Professor Hojo would get the report from the techs than Zack was awake and come in to kick Cloud out, but thankfully Sephiroth beat him there. "Good," he said as he walked in and saw Zack sitting up and carefully sipping from a cup of water. "You had everyone worried, lieutenant. I literally couldn't tear your blonde shadow from your side." Cloud flushed brightly as Zack chuckled at him.

"My apologies, general," Zack said, sketching a weak salute that nearly hit him in the eye thanks to his lack of coordination. "I'll do my best not to repeat the trend next time. Can I get out of here soon? I'd rather do my recovering somewhere else, no offence intended to these fine gentlemen," he flicked a wry glance at the techs still present. "Besides, I have a promise to keep." He started to reach out to ruffle Cloud's hair, but thought better of it and returned his hand hastily to his lap before he ended up hurting the younger boy. "After interrupting his studies like this, the least I can do is be his cheering squad."

Looking at Cloud, Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. "You didn't tell him, corporal?" Cloud couldn't meet his or Zack's eyes, picking at a snagged thread in his uniform pants. "I see. Well, I hope you don't end up regretting your decision."

That made Cloud snap his eyes to meet the general's, his expression stubborn. "I know what my priorities are, sir," he said firmly. "There's nothing to regret."

The half-unspoken conversation had clearly gone mostly over Zack's head, but suspicion was starting to creep into his eyes. "Wait," he said gruffly to Cloud. "You said you had plenty of time left."

"At least a year," Cloud replied, shrugging. The gesture wasn't as casual as he would have liked it to be, but it would do. When Zack turned a horrified look on him, Cloud punched him in the shoulder. "Don't look at me like that. And don't you dare blame yourself. Do you really think I could have just sauntered off to go write the exam when you needed me here? What the hell kind of friend would that make me, huh?"

"But...!" Zack looked back at him helplessly, clearly distraught. Cloud shook his head.

"It's only another year, not the end of the world. We'll deal. At least now that I'm in omega company we actually get to work together. Besides. I probably ought to be old enough to join the army before I make it into SOLDIER. Right, sir?" Greatly daring, he gave the general a hesitant smile, and the man chuckled in response.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that, corporal," Sephiroth replied. "I'll see about getting you transferred to the general infirmary now that you're out of danger, lieutenant. Congratulations on making 2nd Class."

"Thank you, sir," Zack saluted again, more carefully, though his eyes were still sad. "I just wish it could be a double celebration."

"You can only celebrate so many things at a time," Cloud said, shaking his head and shoving the regrets that did nibble at him firmly to the back of his head. "Next year it will be my turn, wait and see." And by all that was holy, he swore privately, nothing short of an act of the gods was going to keep him from passing next year.


	24. Chapter 24

If Cloud had been inclined to keep a list of places throughout the world that he least wanted to ever go back to, the desert around Gold Saucer would have been top of the list. The North Glacier and Mideel were vying for a close second, but the desert had one thing those two places didn't. The desert had _sand_.

The snow of the glacier and the insects of Mideel couldn't even begin to compete with Cloud's newfound loathing of sand. It got into _everything_ , no matter how hard you tried to keep it out. It gummed up machinery, got into the food and water, and before you'd spent a full day in the desert you could feel it gritting between your teeth. There was nowhere you could go and nothing you could do to be free of it.

At the moment Cloud was doing his level best to get as much of it as possible out of his rifle. It was something of a losing battle, since he had to take it apart to get the sand out and that just gave the damn stuff more chances to get _in_. He'd taken to cleaning it in the morning before going out on patrol and again as soon as he got back, but the sand was still winning. The gun jammed more often than not now, and mostly he was just relying on his sword and materia.

At least omega company didn't specialize in a weapon, so he did _have_ other options. If he'd still been in the rifle corps and in this situation, he'd be screwed. Blowing his bangs out of his eyes with an irritated breath, Cloud eyed the pieces of the rifle that he'd spread over his neatly made bed and wondered if it was even worth the effort.

The sound of a helicopter coming in to land made him look up briefly, but a quick glance at his watch told him it was probably just the supply chopper that came in three times a week. The desert perimeter was quicksand for a good half-kilometre band, so the only way in or out was by air. That left the small unit of Shinra troops somewhat isolated, but Cloud didn't mind that so much. Unlike the others in Captain Marek's unit the only mail he ever got was from Zack, and there was precious little of that.

The older boy had only written once so far, just a brief note that mentioned that the training for 2nd Class was even more brutal than for 3rd Class. Thankfully the acclimation period would be over soon, and Zack would be rejoining the unit. Cloud had missed him, even though he was sure things were going to be strained between them for a while. Zack probably still blamed himself for Cloud missing the exams, even though Cloud didn't.

For the moment, though, he still had to deal with the sand. With a sigh Cloud started reassembling the rifle, cursing as he felt the grit caught in the oiled mechanisms. No, the damn thing was definitely going to be useless until he could clean it somewhere else.

Someone scratched at the flap of the tent, the equivalent of knocking, and then stepped in without waiting for a response from Cloud. Captain Marek would have waited, so it had to be one of the two others here from omega company. Not looking up from the somewhat delicate piece he was trying to put together, Cloud mumbled, "If it's not urgent then come back later, and no I am _not_ trading shifts with you!" He had the much-prized early morning patrol, when the desert was still cool enough from the near-freezing night temperatures to be bearable. The others were forever trying to con or bribe him into giving it up.

"Oh, well, if you're busy then," a teasing voice said. "I guess I'll just find somewhere else to bed down." Cloud jerked his head up, and found grey-violet eyes glowing at him from within a very familiar face.

The rifle pieces were promptly dumped to the ground as Cloud scrambled to his feet and threw himself at his friend. "Zack! You're back! Did you come in on the chopper?" Almost immediately Cloud blushed and chided himself. Of course the older boy had come in with the supplies, how _else_ would he have gotten here?

Laughing, Zack hugged him back carefully, mindful of his new strength. "Yeah. They finally got sick of me and shipped me off out here to annoy all of you instead. Man, is this the world's biggest sandbox, or what?"

The light in Zack's eyes wasn't all from the mako; he was like a little kid being presented with a shiny new toy. "We'll see if you're still happy about it by tomorrow, when you've got sand in _every_ conceivable crevice in your body, and quite a few that shouldn't be," Cloud muttered, burying his face against Zack's shoulder. He knew he shouldn't, knew one of the others might walk in any minute, but it had been too damn long since he'd gotten to hold his friend like this.

Chuckling, Zack wound his fingers through thick strands of blonde hair. "Irritable as always. What would I do without you?" Looking around, he raised an eyebrow. "Full-size tents, cots instead of bedrolls, and only two people each? What'd we do to rate the royal treatment?"

Pulling away, Cloud moved to gather up the scattered pieces of his rifle. "After we'd been here a week, Captain Marek radioed back to Midgar and said if they were going to keep us out here, they'd damn well better start sending supplies to match the conditions. The little four-man tents were totally unbearable, way too hot and stuffy."

"That's our captain," Zack exclaimed with a grin. Marek was well-liked among the SOLDIERs and especially omega company, because he was known for taking good care of his troops. "So you've had this one to yourself?"

Cloud shrugged, and dumped the rifle pieces back on his bed. "Sean and Colin claimed one, and the captain gets his own, of course. Technically I suppose you should, too, since SOLDIERs don't usually bunk with troops."

"Yeah, but that would require me requisitioning one, and why should I bother?" Zack laughed. "Not like I'm going to complain about bunking in with you." His grin became more of a leer, and despite himself Cloud flushed. At least the perpetual sunburn he suffered from out here helped hide the colour in his cheeks.

"Just remember that tent walls are not exactly soundproof!" Cloud reminded him. Despite his own warning, suddenly night couldn't come fast enough to suit him. Too bad Zack had come in the morning, and they still had a full patrol and an afternoon of chores to get through first.

Well, _he_ had a patrol. "Have you got a duty assignment, yet?" he asked. "I go on duty about ten minutes from now."

"Not yet, but I'm sure the captain will assign me to you," Zack shrugged. "He usually does. I tried to report in, but Sean said he wasn't in the camp. What are we doing here, anyway? I didn't even get a briefing, just my transfer orders." He dumped his duffle on the extra bed and started digging through it to find his combat gear.

"Shinra's given up on trying to contain the monsters or hide their existence," Cloud explained as he strapped on his armour as well. "They're everywhere now, new ones popping up all over the place. They are denser near the reactors, but they're not limited to those areas. So they've started sending smaller units of troops out to study and hopefully contain them. Keep them from interfering in travel, that kind of thing. So we go out and patrol, try not to get lost, and kill as many as we run across."

"How tough are they?" Zack wanted to know, double-checking his materia.

"Not nearly as bad as the ones in the glacier, but worse than the ones around Midgar," Cloud told him. "We've been doing one- and two-man patrols in the area, and bigger sweeps once a week with the whole unit. It's almost as easy to get lost out there as it was on the glacier, by the way, and just as deadly."

"Yeah, I bet," Zack agreed. "Bet this armour gets hot as Ifrit's fire, too. Can't you see the Saucer, though? It's a hell of a big landmark."

"The wind kicks up the sand, and visibility isn't great," Cloud said as he led them out of the tent. "It's not strong enough to blow you off course like the gales on the glacier, but it's enough that you can't see the Saucer more often than not. I've got a compass," he lifted his hand to indicate the little magnetic needle that had been modded into all their bracers. "That should be enough to keep us on track."

"Lead the way, then," Zack said with a grin. "I'll follow you. Might as well make myself useful until the captain gets back."

The desert was a seemingly unbroken stretch of sand that went as far as the eye could see in all directions. It looked flat, but in fact it was full of gentle, constantly shifting dunes. They'd had to build a wall of sandbags around the camp to keep from being buried under the drifts. As Cloud and Zack walked their feet kicked up little puffs of sand that hung in the air, blown this way and that by the wind.

In minutes Zack was coughing softly into his gloved fist, and Cloud smiled to hear him trying to clear his throat of the grit. "Told you," he couldn't resist saying, safe behind the barrier of the thin scarf he'd pulled up over his mouth and nose. It didn't keep all the sand out, but it did help to reduce the amount he ended up breathing.

"Yeah, yeah, you're the all-wise guru of the desert," Zack replied, laughing between coughs. "Next time I shall heed your wisdom, oh Wise One."

A roar cut off any reply Cloud might have made, and he winced. "Great, a harpy," he muttered, recognizing the sound. "Watch out for their water-breath attack."

" _Water_ -breath?" Zack repeated, bemused, but he didn't let his distraction keep him from unslinging his sword at the same time Cloud unsheathed his. A moment later the giant chimera appeared, and Zack had even more reason to look confused. "What the _hell_ is _that_?" he demanded.

"Dunno," Cloud replied, dodging a swipe from the creature's tail at hacking back at it in turn. "We sent a couple back to the Shinra labs, but if they've made any conclusions they haven't bothered telling us."

"Typical," Zack grunted, chopping off a limb that got a little to close to him. "We're the ones that have to face them, but the brass decided we don't qualify as 'need to know'. You have no idea how sick I am of the word 'classified'!"

He was a blur of motion; Cloud could hardly even follow what he was doing. The difference between 2nd and 3rd Class was nearly as great as the difference between 3rd Class and an ordinary trooper. Cloud had seen better fighters, of course; Captain Marek for one, and Sephiroth made even the SOLDIERs 1st Class look like raw recruits. But somehow it was more impressive when it was _Zack_ that he was watching improve by leaps and bounds.

The monster drew in a deep breath, and Cloud hastily did the same as he braced himself. When the water struck him it battered him around, but he didn't end up half-drowned as he had the first few times he'd been caught in this attack. Zack was coughing and sputtering to his left; the older boy didn't have enough experience yet with this monster to recognize the signs of an oncoming attack.

Despite that, between the two of them they made short work of the harpy. Panting a little in the hot, dry air, Cloud cleaned his sword off and sheathed it again. "See? No problem."

Zack was still coughing to try to get the last of the water out of his lungs, or maybe the sand was just irritating his throat again. "Right," he said, his voice a little rough from the coughing. "No problem at all. That thing shouldn't even be _possible_. How many different heads did it have? I saw at least three. It _must_ have been created. The waste from the reactors may or may not be mutating normal animals, but 'mutation' does _not_ include mashing together a bunch of random animals and creating one new one!"

"They're all the same combination of animals, too," Cloud said as they resumed their patrol. "You're right, it can't possibly be a natural effect. And what's more, they're all fertile! Shouldn't most of them be sterile if it's a mutation effect?"

"Yeah," Zack nodded grimly. "There should be a lot more variation within each type of animal too, not just exactly the same creature over and over. It's got to be deliberate. You know what I think?" He let Cloud take the lead, following passively along behind while he worked it out in his head. "I think it's all the same guy, that renegade Shinra scientist that we can never catch. He's creating the things and setting them loose... _why_ , I have no idea."

"Maybe just to prove he can," Cloud suggested, shrugging. "Scientists are weird that way. There're rumours in Nibelheim that the old Shinra mansion on the outskirts of town was being used as a lab by a bunch of scientists, way back before I was born. The older people still tell stories of how strange they were."

"Maybe," Zack agreed. "Whatever the reason, I think he's gotta be behind them all. It's the only thing that makes sense. If we don't catch up to the bastard soon the whole damn world is going to be covered in monsters."

"I think that's inevitable at this point, anyway," Cloud replied. "There's too many of them, we just can't kill them all and they seem to breed at a ridiculous rate. But if we don't stop him soon it could easily reach the point where we can't even control the problem any more."

"And since we lowly frontline troops aren't cleared to know any of this stuff anyway, there's not a damn thing we can do about it except speculate," Zack sighed. "C'mon, let's go find some more monsters to beat up. Thinking about this just makes me frustrated."

They slogged through the sand for another hour or more, spiralling out away from the camp. Every so often Cloud stopped and checked his compass, just to be sure they were going in the direction he thought they were. At all times he kept a mental map of which way the camp was in case they needed to return in a hurry.

"Man, they should include walking through deep, loose sand as a training exercise," Zack complained at one point. He hadn't yet quite mastered the trick of walking on the sand in a way that didn't send it sliding out from under you when you were going up or down a hill, and he'd had to cast Cure on a wrenched ankle twice already. "This is ridiculous."

"Oh, shut up," Cloud panted, struggling up another hill. He might not be in as much danger of twisting his ankle, but it was still hard to get up the hills when the ground slipped away from under you. "You're not having nearly as much trouble as I am, you bastard. You're not even breathing very hard!"

"SOLDIER stamina," Zack explained with a sympathetic shrug. Cloud saw rueful shadows flit through the older boy's eyes, but thankfully Zack didn't start apologizing again for Cloud missing the exams "Why aren't we all riding chocobos, anyway? I bet they wouldn't have nearly as much trouble."

"They don't, but they don't take well to actually living out here," Cloud explained. "We can ship in feed for them, but they tend to get sick from all the sand within a couple of days. And we can't just keep them on the grasslands outside because we'd need a whole unit stationed out there just to care for them. Me, I think we should bring in snowshoes. It's the same principle as walking on snow, isn't it?"

"You know, it just might work," Zack said, laughing. "I wonder if anyone's ever tried it. Hey, what's that? Another monster?" He pointed towards the horizon. "Damn big dust cloud. A whole herd of them, maybe?"

Squinting in the direction Zack indicated, Cloud tried to make out the distant smudge on the horizon. It could have been dust kicked up by a group of large creatures like the harpy, but it looked more like a...

"Cloud," he blurted out, and Zack gave him a funny look. Before the older boy could say anything else, though, Cloud shook his head and clarified. "It's a storm cloud. There's a sand storm coming. We've got to find shelter!"

"What shelter?" Zack looked at him blankly. "None of these dunes are big enough to hide behind."

"I know! Run!" Cloud grabbed him by the hand and started running in a straight line back towards where his compass said the camp should be. They weren't all that far out, as straight-line distances went; if they'd been running on solid ground he'd have said they had almost no chance of not making it back in time.

On sand, however, it was another matter altogether. They stumbled along at an agonizingly slow rate, though Zack was clearly holding himself back to Cloud's speed. "What's the big deal about a storm, anyway?" Zack asked as they ran. "A little water never... well. It probably has killed some people. But not us."

"There won't be any water," Cloud gasped out. "It's just a wind storm, but it picks up the sand and acts like sandpaper. The first unit patrolling out here was a platoon of the sword corps, and they lost half a dozen men to the storms. The sand can tear your clothes to shreds and then flay your skin and muscles right off your bones."

"Urgh." Zack looked a little nervous. "Sounds like my idea of a party. How fast do they move?"

"Fast," Cloud said grimly. Already he could feel the wind picking up around them. It was blowing at an angle from behind them, and he had to keep a constant eye on his compass to keep them from being driven off course. If he looked behind him he knew he'd see the dark cloud of sand massing higher and higher on the horizon, heading towards them at a horrific speed. Missing the camp would be fatal; they wouldn't get a second chance.

It was hard to tell how much progress they were making, with no landmarks to use as markers. Not enough, was all Cloud knew. The wind was getting stronger with each passing moment, and already he could feel the sting of the sand as it hit his sunburned skin. It wasn't getting through his clothes yet, but the main body of the storm wasn't upon them.

They weren't going to make it, he realized in despair. "Go!" he shouted over the noise of the wind, releasing Zack's hand and shoving at his shoulder. "You can run faster than I can, get the hell out of here!"

"Are you nuts?" Zack grabbed for his hand again. "I'm not going anywhere without you, so get your ass moving!"

"You stupid, stubborn idiot!" Cloud cried, trying to shake his hand loose even as he struggled to run faster. "There's no reason for both of us to die out here!"

"I told you once, and I'll keep repeating it until I drive it into that thick skull of yours!" Zack called back, refusing to let go. "I will never leave you behind!"

There was no arguing with that, so Cloud saved his breath for running. The leading edge of the storm was just behind them now; he could hear the deadly hiss of the sand as it rushed through the air and scoured its way over the dunes. He'd been through one storm already, safe in the bunker in camp, and even with the reinforced walls he'd been able to hear it there. Up close and in the opening, it was deafening.

Heart pounding, Cloud stumbled at the crest of a dune and nearly pulled them both down into the sand. He kept his feet by some miracle, forcing his burning muscles to keep going. The full force of the wind finally struck them, and he couldn't keep from crying out as the sand drove into them with all the force of a thousand bullets.

Shielding his face with his sleeve, Cloud followed blindly along in Zack's wake. The only thing that saved his eyes was the goggles of his helmet, but the sand in the air was so thick it was like a brown blizzard. He couldn't even see Zack now, only knew where the other boy was by the touch of his hand.

Then suddenly that touch was gone, sliding away with the faint sound of a startled yelp from Zack. The older boy had been holding onto him loosely, perhaps still afraid of hurting Cloud by hanging on too tight. Panicked, Cloud lunged after him even though he'd been urging Zack to let go just a moment before.

As a result he ended up horribly off balance when the sand beneath his foot slid away and there was nothing beneath it. With a yelp of his own Cloud went tumbling over the unexpected precipice, hands snatching at the steep slope to try to slow his descent.

The bottom came as suddenly as the edge had, and Cloud struck it back first. All the air went out of his lungs at the impact, and he could feel the ache all the way through his body. His whole back was going to be black and blue.

Assuming he survived the storm, of course. But, oddly, though he could still hear the howl of the wind and the hissing of the sand, he couldn't feel it any more. Wondering if his skin had been flayed away to the point where his nerves were gone, Cloud stared upwards and tried to make sense of what he was seeing.

Several dozen feet above him the storm raged, a deadly roof of shifting brown. Sand drifted down, falling on him like gentle snow, and coating the steep rocky walls of the ravine he seemed to have fallen into.

Coughing as his breath came back to him, he forced himself to sit up. The fall had saved their lives, taking them out of the path of the storm, but he still wasn't sure exactly what had happened. There weren't any ravines in the desert, just endless miles of sand dunes with quicksand at the edges and the Gold Saucer in the middle.

"Zack?" he croaked, triggering his Restore materia to deal with the worst of his injuries. "Zack? Where are you?" Surely his friend must have fallen as well.

"Here," came a groan, and something stirred to Cloud's left. The storm left everything in a dim sort of twilight, and the shadows were thick at the bottom of the gorge. "Shit, I was _not_ expecting that. You okay?"

"Yeah," Cloud assured him, tugging his scarf off and shaking the sand from it. His uniform was worn thin on the back and side that had been facing the wind, and he could feel the burn of similar scouring on the skin of his neck despite the Cure spell. He was so covered in fine sand that his blue uniform looked brown, but he was alive.

"Now what?" Zack asked, crawling over to Cloud and leaning against the wall to sit beside him. There was only about three feet between one side of the ravine and the other down at the bottom, though it was considerably wider at the top. "Where are we, anyway?"

"Wait for the storm to pass and then climb out, I guess," Cloud said, shifting to press against him from shoulder to hip. The contact made him feel better, a reaffirmation that they had both survived. "I have no idea where we are, though," he confessed, bewildered. "There aren't any ravines near the camp, and unless I was completely turned around we shouldn't be that far away from the tower. I don't understand why this isn't on the map."

"Huh, yeah, that is weird," Zack said. "It's a pretty big geological feature, you'd think they'd have at least spotted it by air. Well, we're going to be down here a while, do you want to explore?"

"We probably should," Cloud agreed, sighing and scrambling back to his feet. "Figure out where it goes, if anywhere, and make a report to the captain once we get back to camp. They'll be surprised to see us after that storm."

"No kidding. All right, you go left and I'll go right, and we'll meet back _here_ ," Zack stood and slashed at the rock with his sword, gouging a clear mark in it, "in fifteen minutes. Sound good?"

In all honesty Cloud would have preferred to stick together, but there wasn't much point. There wasn't enough room for them to walk abreast, and what was the point of one trailing after the other? They could cover twice as much ground this way. "Sounds good," Cloud affirmed, and turned to walk in the indicated direction.

Sand trickled off him in little puffs of dust as he moved, falling to join more just like it underfoot. Cloud figured the ravine probably went down even further, but the sand that fell into it was slowly filling it up. It made walking easier, at least; he only had to deal with the shifting sand, not rocky and uneven ground.

He moved cautiously, keeping his ears open and straining to hear the warning signs of monsters over the howl of the wind above. Maybe there weren't any down here, but he'd rather assume there were and be proved wrong. After all, they had to have somewhere to hide from the sandstorm, too. In fact, it should have occurred to them before this that there had to be somewhere for the monsters to take shelter. Not all of them had hides tough enough to survive up there.

The rock walls gradually grew further apart, until he couldn't touch them both at the same time. Then further still, until it was like walking down a broad corridor of sand and stone. The ravine twisted and turned, and he paused at each corner to listen hard before proceeding.

That was the only thing that kept him from walking straight into trouble. A lull in the storm allowed him to overhear the sound of voices; _human_ voices.

"...almost finished here," one man was saying. Cloud didn't recognize the voice. "And Shinra is getting too close again. You can't distract them forever, sooner or later one of the little idiots will stumble over this place. I'll be gone by tomorrow."

The reply was too soft for Cloud to make out. He pressed himself against the rock and listened hard, eyes wide. Unless he was mistaken, the man speaking might well be the very rogue scientist they'd been hunting all this time!

"Is that enough of the storm, do you think?" the first man spoke again. His voice was getting closer, and Cloud tensed, ready to run if he had to. "I don't want to do too much damage to my creations."

This time they were close enough for Cloud to hear the reply, though thankfully they stopped moving again. "If he's not dead by now, it's only because he made it back to the camp in time. I doubt it, though. Thanks for your help on that, by the way. If I can't take that damn SOLDIER out of commission directly, at least I can debilitate him by getting rid of his little boytoy."

Everything seemed to freeze for a moment for Cloud, as if he'd been hit by a Stop spell. The stunning realization that they were talking about _him_ , that the sandstorm had somehow been created specifically to kill _him_ , was unbelievable. And there was only one SOLDIER they could be talking about

But why would they want _Zack_ out of commission? He was just one lone SOLDIER 2nd Class, and he hadn't even been that for very long. He'd only just arrived, and from the sounds of it the two men didn't realize he'd been out on the patrol with Cloud. Why was he a threat to them?

Then again, Zack was the sort of person who refused to leave a mystery alone until he'd solved it. He'd been picking away at the issue of the rogue scientist since they'd first encountered the bastard in Mideel. Maybe he was getting too close to something, and the inside informant they _knew_ had to exist was getting nervous.

Which meant that if the first man was the scientist, then the second man had to be the mole. Time started moving again, and Cloud remembered to breathe. He stifled his gasp with his hand, his heart pounding in triple time.

The two men were still talking. "It was the least I could do, for all the help you've given me," the scientist was saying. "After all, it's in my own best interests to keep you from being discovered. Without your assistance I'd never have been able to keep out of Shinra's clutches."

"I should go," the informant said. "I can't be away from my duty too long, people will get suspicious. Write me when you get to your next location, you've got the new codebook."

There was the sound of heavy boots on metal; the man was climbing a ladder, Cloud realized after a moment. Once he was gone they would have no way of finding him again, and he would be able to keep passing information to the scientist. Cloud had no illusions about his chances if he attacked them directly at that moment, but at least he could find out who the informant was.

Crouching so his head wouldn't be at eye level, Cloud peered cautiously around the corner. He'd seen the pictures of the rogue scientist that had been circulated among the army, and the man in a lab coat walking away from him now definitely resembled the photograph. The informant was nearly at the top of the ravine; unfortunately Cloud couldn't see his face, just his dark hair and uniform. And they'd never come close enough for Cloud to be able to positively identify him by the sound of his voice.

Cursing mentally, Cloud hastily withdrew again. At least he could confirm that the informant was definitely a SOLDIER 1st Class, and there weren't all that many of them. Sephiroth could handle the rest.

Of course, if he _hurried_ , he might be able to tell Zack what had happened in time for the older boy to chase after the informant. The man had to have come in by chocobo; they'd have seen an airship from the camp, considering how close this ravine had to be. They'd been sitting right on top of their enemy the whole time, and they'd had no idea he was there.

Turning, Cloud headed back the way he'd come. He moved quietly at first, not wanting to attract the scientist's attention, but as soon as he was certain he'd gotten out of hearing range he broke into a run.

The sand was packed down hard enough here that he was able to run with a bit more speed. Overhead the storm had died out, as suddenly as it had begun, and now he was able to hear the sounds of his own footfalls and laboured breathing.

He hadn't come all that far before encountering the two men, so hopefully he'd be able to catch up with Zack quickly enough. With an effort, he put on an extra bit of speed.

As a result, he ran directly into the dark figure that dropped straight down into the ravine ahead of him. With a pained grunt Cloud rebounded and landed on his ass.

Looking up and expecting to find a monster, he was relieved to see a familiar face instead. "Captain Marek!" he exclaimed, scrambling to his feet again. The others must have come out looking for his remains after the storm abated, and finally stumbled over this ravine. "Back that way, hurry, the informant was _here_ and if you run you can catch him and find out who he is! I'll tell the others about the scientist, he's leaving tomorrow but we should be able to catch him by surprise and _erk..._ "

His frantic babbling was cut off abruptly when the captain's arm shot out in a movement too fast to follow and grabbed him by the neck. Just as Sephiroth had that day in boot camp, he lifted Cloud right off his feet as if the boy weighed nothing.

Struggling for air, clutching at the captain's hand with his in a futile attempt to pry it loose, Cloud couldn't speak. His eyes asked the question for him, shocked and confused.

"I thought I heard someone else out here," the captain said softly. "Didn't your mother ever tell you nothing good ever comes of eavesdropping?"


	25. Chapter 25

Choking, Cloud kicked out in the hopes of hitting the captain and maybe getting some leverage. The SOLDIER was faster than he was, though, and evaded the pitiful attacks with ease. Black spots were starting to gather at the edges of Cloud's vision, and he tried not to panic. Somehow, he didn't think Marek was going to let him go once he'd passed out.

There was only one possible explanation for this; Captain Marek was the inside informant Shinra had been searching for. Cloud couldn't imagine how that was possible, but he also didn't have time to worry about it at the moment. Not if he wanted to survive long enough to tell someone what he'd discovered.

 _He doesn't know Zack is out there,_ Cloud reminded himself. _We can't be that far from the meeting point. If I can just get enough air to yell, or make some noise somehow..._

A stray beam of sunlight, trickling down into the ravine now that the storm was over, flashed off his bracer and made his materia glow for a moment. Cloud hadn't even consciously registered the light before his mind was already reaching out, searching for the familiar energy of the spells. He knew he didn't have enough power to seriously injure or even deter the captain, but he might be able to get himself loose.

Somehow he managed to croak out the words to the Fire 1 spell on the whisper of his last bit of air. Marek's eyes widened, but it was too late for him to cast MBarrier or Reflect on himself. The Fire spell hit him right where Cloud had intended it to; not in the face, which Marek was already moving to try to dodge, but focused on the wrist of the hand that was holding Cloud by the throat.

With a curse Marek let go and Cloud fell to the ground, coughing and gasping for air. He didn't stay still, already rolling back out of range of a kick or punch before Marek could recover. One good blow from the SOLDIER and Cloud would be finished, he knew. He couldn't afford to let him get that shot.

He had one advantage. In the narrow ravine the massive buster swords the SOLDIERs carried would be all but useless. There just wasn't any room to swing it. Cloud, on the other hand, could use his much smaller sword to fairly good effect if he was careful not to jam it on the rock. That left only two ways Marek could damage him from outside his reach; magic, and items.

There wasn't much he could do to protect himself against items except hope Marek wasn't carrying any, but he could do something about the threat of magic. Scrambling to his feet, Cloud ignored his aching throat and used every last bit of magical energy he had remaining to cast Reflect. It was a gamble; it meant he wouldn't be able to cast any healing spells, and if Marek had Dispel available then Cloud was screwed.

From the sound of the captain's curse as he saw the spell form around Cloud, though, it seemed he was in luck. Having caught his breath as much as he was able to past the bruising in his throat, Cloud drew his sword and charged the SOLDIER with a hoarse yell.

The narrow confines kept Marek from being able to dodge effectively, so he did the next best thing. Instead of tripping himself up trying to avoid the blow, he chose where to take it and allowed Cloud to make the hit. That wasn't what Cloud had been expecting, and he wasn't able to compensate for the movement quickly enough. The blade entered Marek's side just below the ribs in a non-vital area, and jammed briefly in the man's body.

Before Cloud could yank it loose, the captain closed one gloved fist over the base of the blade and wrenched it out of Cloud's hand and free of his body with the same motion. Cloud was stunned that the man could just casually rip a sword out of himself in one bloody spray. He'd known that the SOLDIERs 1st Class had a ridiculous ability to take damage and keep going as though nothing was wrong, but this was the first time he'd seen it demonstrated quite so blatantly.

Distracted, he didn't see the blow coming until it was too late. Marek's free hand caught him in the shoulder and shoved, sending Cloud flying back to impact hard against the ravine wall. Once again Cloud had the wind knocked out of him, and this time he couldn't get it back because of the bruising that almost closed off his throat. Wheezing, he slid to the ground and collapsed to his hands and knees, struggling for air.

"Pathetic." Marek took his time walking up to Cloud. The boy forced himself into a defensive crouch despite his difficulty in breathing. He refused to just lie there and let Marek kill him without a fight, no matter what.

"Absolutely disgusting," Marek said again, stopping just out of reach and studying Cloud with a look of contempt on his face. "The standards for the Shinra army have fallen so low, I'm almost ashamed to call myself a SOLDIER. First that brat making it to the Specials before he'd even been a SOLDIER for a year, and then you being brought in to omega company. It's a joke, that's what it is. Neither of you would have lasted a week in the Wutai jungles." He sneered. "All because Zack is the general's golden boy. I thought Sephiroth was above being bribed or sucked up to like that, but I guess he's just got a thing for little boys."

It was exactly the same thing Cloud had always been most afraid of; that he hadn't really done anything to deserve the promotion to omega, that it had all been a mistake of some kind. That people wouldn't respect him, or believe he could have made it this far on his own merits. Fear and doubts rose up and threatened to choke him more surely than any injury ever could.

Even so, it wasn't hard to find an answer for Marek. "The only person bringing down the standards of SOLDIER is _you_ ," Cloud choked out, glaring fiercely at the man. He might have doubts about his own worthiness, but there was not a thought in his mind that Zack didn't deserve everything he'd earned. "You backstabbing asshole, we _trusted_ you! You're our captain, you're a SOLDIER 1st Class, how could you sell us out?"

"There was a time when being a SOLDIER meant something, and if I have my way it will again." There was an unholy light in Marek's eyes as he lifted Cloud's sword in one hand and aimed it at the boy's heart. "People all over the world will be counting on us to protect them from the monsters. And there's no room for useless wastes of space like you!"

He thrust forward almost faster than Cloud could see, and despite himself Cloud closed his eyes on a wave of fear. He threw himself desperately to his right, knowing there was no way he could avoid the blade entirely but hoping he could at least cause Marek to miss his heart.

There was a fierce yell and the sound of a heavy impact, and Cloud felt a line of fire spread across his bicep at the edge of his shoulder armour. He hit the ground and rolled without thinking, feeling more stinging impacts as stone chips flew everywhere. It took him a moment to figure out what had happened, but when he staggered back to his feet he found that Marek had been slammed into the rock wall hard enough to make a depression. The captain looked dazed, struggling to turn and confront the new threat with Cloud's sword still in his hand.

And standing in front of him, eyes blazing with mako-enhanced fury and fists clenched, was Zack. "You son of a _bitch_!" the older boy yelled, swinging at the captain again and landing a solid hit to the man's face. "Don't you dare lay a finger on him. You traitor, I'll tear you apart!"

"You!" Captain Marek stared in shock. "You're supposed to be in Midgar for training!"

"First Lieutenant Zack reporting for duty, _sir_ ," Zack snarled, sketching a mocking salute with one closed fist. "Let me show you just how much I've improved."

He punched again at the captain, but the man had recovered enough to dodge. Marek evaded Zack's strike and lashed out with the sword catching Zack low on the side. It was a minor wound, and Zack didn't even pay attention to it.

Cloud watched with a sense of awe as the two SOLDIERs continued to trade blows, moving at a speed that would have required a Haste spell for anyone else. They both ignored wounds that would have dropped Cloud where he stood, and the level of the magic that flashed back and forth between them made the hair on Cloud's body stand on end.

Searching for a way to help Zack, Cloud clung to the rock wall and mostly tried to stay out of the way. He had no hope in a battle of this level and he knew it, but he couldn't just stand around and do nothing like a damsel in distress. He was supposed to be watching Zack's back.

Especially since Zack was losing. Marek had the advantage; he was 1st Class to Zack's 2nd, had years of experience, and most tellingly he was armed. Zack hadn't even bothered to try bringing his buster sword into play, realizing how useless it would be in the narrow confines of the ravine. Marek had no such problem, and it was _Cloud's own sword_ he was using to hurt Zack.

Then Zack turned too fast and the massive sword strapped to his back got jammed into a tight spot, leaving him pinned for a critical moment. With a shout of triumph Marek drove the sword through the older boy's chest and right out his back. Zack managed to twist enough in his sword harness that it missed his heart, but he was choking up thick blood from where the sword had gone through his lung.

Cloud screamed an anguished denial as Marek wrenched the sword out and thrust again, trying to finish Zack off. Somehow the older boy managed to pull off a miracle and tore himself free of the sword harness, leaving it behind as he ducked and rolled out of the way. He came to his feet, his breathing making a horrible bubbling sound in his chest, but obviously far from out of the fight.

Lunging after him, Marek slashed again and was drawn further into the ravine when Zack backed off. They were almost back to the mark Zack had made in the wall; Cloud could see it ahead.

Still struggling for air, Cloud ran after them. Marek was between him and Zack now and there wasn't a lot of room to manoeuvre. Maybe he could jump on the man's back while he was occupied by Zack. Cloud wouldn't be able to do much damage without a weapon, but if he could just distract Marek long enough for Zack to get a good shot in...

He passed the buster sword where it was still hung up on the wall, and some instinct made him pause. Looking at it, Cloud's eyes lit with a fiery determination that was almost a match for the SOLDIERs' mako glow.

Reaching out, he grabbed the sword by the hilt with both hands, planted one foot on the rock beside it, and heaved with all his strength. It took three tries, but he finally managed to get it loose from the rock. Of course the effort of it sent him tumbling head over ass when it did finally come out, and the heavy sword landed on him hard enough to leave him aching and bruised. He was just lucky it was the flat of the blade that hit him and not the edge.

Neither of the two combatants seemed to have noticed what he was doing. Marek had blood dripping down over one eye from a nasty cut; Cloud realized why when he saw the jagged bit of rock Zack had broken off to use as a weapon. It was slowing Marek down, but not enough. He was still going to win the fight unless Cloud did something to turn the tide.

Staggering to his feet, Cloud got both hands on the hilt and tried to lift the sword. His eyes widened as he was barely able to drag the hilt up off the ground, let alone raise the whole sword. He'd never handled one of the buster swords before. The easy way the SOLDIERs swung them around made it seem like they couldn't be as heavy as they looked, even though Cloud still remembered Zack dragging one along during the fight in Mideel. Now he knew why.

There was no way he could lift the sword and bring it crashing down on Marek's head or shoulders, which had been his first thought. And even assuming he could lift it high enough to drive it through Marek's back, there was nothing that said it wouldn't go _too_ far and hit Zack as well.

Grunting with the effort, Cloud dragged the sword after him as he moved down the ravine towards Zack and Marek. His injured arm burned with the strain and threatened to give out on him, but he hung on. They'd passed the mark on the wall now, and Cloud could see that the ravine was continuing to slowly narrow as they went. Pretty soon Zack would be boxed in and unable to move, if he continued giving ground.

So it was just that much more urgent that Cloud get his ass in gear. He did his best to move quietly; if Marek realized he was there, he would only have to turn and one quick swipe of the sword would finish Cloud. Zack might be able to overpower him in that moment of distraction, but Cloud was kind of hoping to come out of this fight alive if he could. If it came to that he'd die willingly, knowing he'd helped save his friend, but if he played this _right_ he wouldn't have to.

Zack didn't betray him by so much as a flicker of his eyes over Marek's shoulder, but Cloud knew his friend had seen what he was doing when Zack started dodging with purpose. He was keeping Marek facing straight ahead as much as possible now, so the captain wouldn't see Cloud coming. It meant Zack's range of movement was restricted and he started taking more and worse hits, but if he could keep it up for just a few more moments, then Cloud could make his move.

Assuming he could get the damn sword off the ground. Grimly determined, he clenched his hands on the hilt and heaved with all his might, bringing the heavy sword up and around in an arc from the ground to about knee level. That was enough; the blade cut across Marek's calves and the backs of his knees, severing muscles and tendons and making him cry out in shock and pain.

As Cloud had hoped, it worked as a distraction. Marek stumbled and swore, then hastily cast a high-level Cure spell. In the moment when he was engaged in the spellcasting, Zack shouted wordlessly and drove the jagged rock into the captain's temple with all his enhanced strength.

It made a sound like a fallen melon bursting open on impact. Cloud gagged at the sound of it, and Marek collapsed with the last word of the Cure spell still on his lips. The green magic that had gathered around him turned into blue sparkles that sealed most of the visible wounds on his body. If he was dead it wouldn't help, but if there was even a last gasp of life in him it might be enough to bring him right back into the fight.

Both Cloud and Zack held their breath, waiting to see if the man would move. After a long moment when nothing happened, Zack sighed in relief and sagged against the wall. "He's dead," the older boy croaked with a bloody grin in Cloud's direction. "We did it. Fucking Shiva, Cloud, we just beat one of the SOLDIERs who served with Sephiroth in _Wutai_ , do you realize that?" Triumph and pride glittered in the older boy's glowing eyes.

"He was... he was..." Cloud's voice was as hoarse as a chocobo's cry, forced past the bruising of his throat. "How could he?" he finally settled on. The question encompassed everything about this whole mess that didn't make any sense to him. How could Marek, so favoured among his troops as a fair and generous captain, have turned out to be the traitor? How could he have deliberately tried to kill Cloud and Zack, just because he thought they didn't deserve the positions they'd been promoted to? How could he work with this scientist, spreading horrible monsters all around the world just so the SOLDIERs would have something that would let them look good killing it?

"I don't know." The gleeful light in Zack's eyes faded as the reality of the situation struck him as well. "I don't know, Cloud. It doesn't make sense to me either. When I saw him skewer you like that, I couldn't believe it. I heard the last part of what he said to you. It must have been growing inside him for a long time. Maybe since Wutai; a lot of the troops that served in the war ended up suffering disorders from the trauma later, going crazy. I guess he just hid his issues better than most."

"Now what?" Cloud wanted to know. He felt lost and adrift, with no idea of how to proceed from here. The scientist was still out there somewhere, assuming he hadn't heard the fighting and fled. Colin and Sean were still back at camp, or maybe out searching for some sign of Cloud after the storm. Had they known what was going on? Surely not. They needed to radio back to base for help... and to report that they'd just killed their commanding officer. "We're going to be facing a court martial!" Cloud realized with a groan.

"Shit, yeah, probably," Zack agreed, dismayed. "Ah, Hades. Well, catching that scientist would do a hell of a lot for our credibility, so let's get moving. We can't go after him in this state; we'll take Marek back to the camp and get Sean and Colin, and radio for backup at the same time."

A quick search of the captain's body revealed a couple of potions and hi-potions that both Cloud and Zack gratefully drank. Neither of them had enough energy left for a Cure spell. It didn't fix them completely, especially not Zack, but it was enough that Cloud could be confident they would actually make it back to camp.

Getting Marek's body up out of the ravine was the toughest part; after that, Cloud was shocked to realize just how close to camp they really were. The tower of Gold Saucer loomed up over them to one side, glimpsed occasionally between drifts of airborne sand. "We must be right outside the limit of the perimeter patrols!" Cloud exclaimed, staring at the landmark. " _Why_ didn't we ever find this place?"

"Do all the patrols work in spirals?" Zack asked, and Cloud nodded. "And they all start from the same side of camp?"

"No, every other patrol starts from the opposite side, and they go in the other direction," Cloud said, struggling to picture it in his head. He'd always taken it for granted that the patrol pattern was set up to cover the whole area, but if the captain was the traitor then that wasn't a safe assumption. "That leaves a big blind spot on one side of the camp, doesn't it?" he asked slowly. "That must be where we are. None of us ever realized." Shaking his head, he pointed. "The camp must be that way."

Zack slung the captain's body over his shoulders, and they slogged through the sand towards the camp. They didn't have to go very far before Cloud could see the tents in the distance, and he cursed softly to himself. He couldn't believe they'd all been so gullible.

When they staggered into camp with the captain's body Sean and Colin immediately assumed the worst. "Are we under attack?" Sean blurted out, eyes wide and face pale as he stared at Zack with Marek slung over his shoulder. "Is the captain okay?"

Cringing, Cloud opened his mouth to explain and await the inevitable questions and accusations, but Zack beat him to it. "We found the rogue scientist," Zack explained tersely. "The informant was there with him and we were attacked. Captain Marek is dead, so I'm in command. The scientist may still be out there - you two come with me. Cloud, find the medical supplies, take care of yourself and then get ready for potential casualties. I'll radio Midgar while you two are gearing up."

"Yes sir!" the others chorused, and Cloud had to admire the older boy's quick thinking. Nothing Zack had said was a lie, but he'd deftly led the other two troops to believe that it had been the informant who killed the captain. The truth would come out eventually, but for now it was more important that they go after the scientist quickly.

By the time Cloud found the medical supplies in the captain's tent, Zack had finished reporting in by radio. The older boy found him in the tent and stepped inside, dropping the flap behind him to give them a moment of privacy. "We're in luck," he said quietly. "Or maybe out of luck, depending on how you look at it. Sephiroth was out with a unit of the Specials trying again to track the scientist, and I guess they were getting close because they're not very far out. I'm still going to take the others into the ravine, we don't want the sight of the chopper to scare the bastard off if he's still out there, but they should be here before we get back."

"Oh, yay," Cloud sighed, picturing himself facing General Sephiroth alone and trying to explain why exactly there was a dead SOLDIER 1st Class that Zack and Cloud were responsible for.

"You'll be okay." Zack tugged him into a quick, fierce hug, forgetting for a moment not to treat the younger boy like glass. "Sephiroth's a good commander, remember? He'll listen, and he'll believe us."

"Captain Marek was a good commander too, or so everybody thought," Cloud pointed out, his words muffled in Zack's tunic. He hugged back just as tightly, reaction setting in as the adrenalin from the fight wore off. "Here," he said when they finally pulled away, handing Zack a satchel full of ethers and hi-potions. "Take these, you might need them. He's probably got monsters guarding him. Be careful."

"I will. All right!" Zack raised his voice as he pushed the tent flap open again and strode out into the bright desert sunlight. "Let's get moving! I want this guy dead or our prisoner sooner rather than later. The general is on his way; I think it'd look pretty impressive if we can present him with the guy we've all spent so long searching for."

"Yes, sir!" Colin and Sean saluted, sounding enthusiastic at the prospect, and Cloud couldn't blame them. This was the sort of thing that could make your career. Assuming you hadn't killed your CO in the process, of course.

"Corporal, you stay here and meet the general," Zack gave him the official order. "You know where we'll be if he lands before we get back and wants to send reinforcements."

"Yes, sir," Cloud saluted as well, biting back the fear that was trying to rise inside him. If Sephiroth didn't believe them, they could be in a world of trouble. At least it wasn't a case of their word against Marek's, since the captain couldn't exactly defend himself.

There was nothing Cloud could do but watch as Zack led the others back towards the ravine at a trot, swords and rifles held ready. Marek's body was in his tent; it had seemed a bit much to leave him just lying out in the brutal sunlight. Once the dust trail from Zack's group had faded out of sight, Cloud went to pace in nervous circles as he waited for the general.

At least he didn't have to wait very long. Not fifteen minutes later he heard the sound of rotor blades, and when he shaded his eyes with his hand he could see an incoming Shinra helicopter flying low over the desert sand. It was coming in from the wrong approach to pass over the ravine - just as every other Shinra chopper or airship did, Cloud realized. Yes, Marek and the scientist had set this up perfectly. What better place to hide than right under Shinra's noses?

By the time the chopper set down on the flattened area that served as a landing zone, Cloud was waiting at the edges. General Sephiroth was the first to step out, and Cloud snapped to attention and saluted.

"As you were, corporal," Sephiroth instructed him. A moment later he smiled faintly. "And may I say it's nice to actually be able to give you that order in the field. I'm glad to see you in one piece, for a change."

"Yes, sir," Cloud nodded. He couldn't figure out what to do with his hands, so he went to parade rest even though he hadn't been ordered to. "Z... Lieutenant Zack asked me to stay behind and meet you, sir. He's still out with the others chasing down the rogue scientist - at least, we believe it's him, he matches the pictures..." Realizing he was babbling, Cloud bit down on his lip and cut himself off. He really, _really_ needed to break the habit of babbling under stress.

Nodding, Sephiroth gestured to the SOLDIERs who'd climbed out of the chopper behind him. "Zeke, Brian, and Austin set up a perimeter guard. Jeremy, take the others out and track them. They may need reinforcements."

"Yes, sir!" The SOLDIERs snapped a salute in unison, then broke up to go to their assigned tasks. Cloud watched with a sense of relief as the small group of SOLDIERs headed out after getting directions from him. He'd been worried about Zack and the others.

"Now, corporal," Sephiroth caught his attention once more, raising an eyebrow. "I want to see Marek's body, and I want the full story in your own words. The lieutenant was not terribly forthcoming over the radio, which may be just as well. The details are undoubtedly going to be classified."

Despite himself, Cloud's mouth twitched. "I'm sure Lieutenant Zack will be happy to hear that, sir."

Sephiroth chuckled. "Yes, I'm sure he will. Lead the way, corporal."

Once inside the captain's tent, Cloud related the whole story from the moment the sandstorm hit to their return to the camp, while Sephiroth studied Marek's body. By the time he was finished Cloud was a nervous wreck, hanging on to his dignity by clinging to military protocol and absolutely certain there was no way anyone was going to believe them. Sephiroth's silence throughout the report hadn't exactly bolstered his confidence, and the cool look he was giving Cloud now wasn't helping either.

"It's quite the story," Sephiroth said quietly when he was sure Cloud was done. "I hope for your sake they do return with the good doctor or some other evidence. Marek was a good man and a good SOLDIER, he's been in the Specials for years. A military tribunal will find it difficult to believe he would be the one to turn on us."

Swallowing, Cloud forced himself to speak up. "With respect sir, is there _anyone_ in the Specials that you would easily believe could have been an informant? You already knew it almost had to be one of them, didn't you?"

"Point taken, corporal," Sephiroth inclined his head. He still wasn't showing any sign of whether he personally believed Cloud or not, but at least he wasn't openly condemning them.

There was a shout from outside the tent, and Sephiroth shoved back the flap and strode out to meet the returning patrol. Lacking any orders to the contrary, Cloud decided to follow him. He was desperate to know what they'd found in the ravine.

At first he thought the scientist had escaped them after all, as he saw nothing but a wall of SOLDIERs. Then the group split to reveal Zack, Colin and Sean in the middle, somewhat the worse for wear but leading a man gagged and bound tightly in rope.

"Dr. Lins," Sephiroth said as the group came to a halt before him. "I'd say it's good to see you again, but I doubt you'd believe me even under better circumstances." Once again Cloud was forced to wonder about the apparent enmity between the general and Shinra's scientists. Was it only them, or did Sephiroth dislike all scientists?

"Take him to the chopper," Sephiroth ordered one of the SOLDIERs. "We'll be bringing him back to Midgar for trial. Jeremy, Brian, you'll be staying here with the omega troops. Continue the regular patrols and gather any evidence that can be used against the good doctor. Lieutenant Zack, Corporal Cloud, you will be returning with us for the trial as well."

"Yes sir," Zack and Cloud chorused. Cloud felt like his heart was in his throat, and it was all he could do not to be sick. So capturing the scientist wasn't enough to acquit them. Lins wouldn't exactly be happy with the two of them for being so instrumental in his capture; what if he decided to take revenge by implicating Cloud and Zack as his informants and claim they'd killed Captain Marek when he discovered them? It wouldn't explain why they'd come straight back to camp to report in, but it would cast suspicion on both of them that could be the end of their careers.

Perhaps - no, almost certainly - reading Cloud's worries in his eyes, the general unbent enough to nod at them. "Once you've testified in the trial against the doctor and Captain Marek, I'll see to it you have a few days of leave to recover," Sephiroth said. "Gather your things, the helicopter will be leaving in fifteen minutes."

The release of worry was so intense Cloud was almost amazed his legs were still holding him up. "Yes, sir!" he said again, and turned and all but fled back to his tent.

Once inside, he stood staring at the cot he'd been sleeping in for weeks, trying to get his mind to start working again. He thought he might be in shock; nothing was connecting in his brain.

Strong arms slid around him from behind, and Zack tugged him back to lean against the older boy's chest. "It's okay," Zack said when Cloud automatically started to protest. "The SOLDIERs are all busy, and the troops are too shocked by everything to bother us. It's all right, Cloud. Relax, it's over."

"The trial," Cloud gasped, finding his voice again. "Hades, I thought he meant we were still going to have to stand trial for Marek's death."

"Yeah, me too," Zack confessed, and Cloud was somewhat gratified to hear that his voice was shaking nearly as much as Cloud's. "Sounds like we're just witnesses, though. And we're getting leave, did you hear?"

Turning in his arms, Cloud rested his head against Zack's shoulder and just breathed in the familiar scent of his friend. It was somewhat masked by the smells of blood and sweat and mako, but those were familiar too. "Something will happen," he predicted in a feeble attempt at a joke. "The universe doesn't like it when we get leave at the same time in the same place, haven't you noticed?"

"Maybe," Zack shrugged, resting his cheek against Cloud's hair. "Doesn't matter. Leave or not, we'll still be together and that's the only thing that counts. They can't keep us apart for long." Cloud could hear the smile in his voice as he added, "Wouldn't have been so bad taking the fall for Marek's death, as long as they'd put us in a cell together. At least it would have meant we wouldn't keep getting posted to different places!"

"You're an idiot," Cloud told him gruffly, trying to keep his own reluctant smile hidden.

"Yeah, but you like me that way. Right?" Zack pulled back and grinned down at him, then kissed him quickly when Cloud just rolled his eyes. "C'mon, you heard the general. My stuff's mostly still in my bag, but you need to pack."

He turned and tugged Cloud towards his cot, and Cloud followed him willingly. They had a lot to face before this mess would be over, and he had no illusions that their lives would ever be simple, but still he couldn't help but feel that things were right with the world. Here he was, at Zack's back as they narrowly wormed their way out of trouble once again...

And he wouldn't have it any other way.


	26. Chapter 26

It didn't turn out to be quite as simple as Sephiroth had implied. Cloud had to fight his airsickness the whole way back to Midgar, of course, desperately not wanting to embarrass himself in front of Sephiroth. As soon as they touched down in Midgar they found themselves hustled away by the Turks who were waiting for them there. When Cloud tried to ask Zack what was going on, the Turk who had him by the arm shook him and ordered him to be quiet.

Frightened again, Cloud swallowed and fell silent. Looking around he could see that the highest concentration of Turks was around Dr. Lins, and that Sephiroth didn't look terribly happy about it. The Turks weren't under Sephiroth's control, though, so there wasn't much the general could do about it.

They took him to what was unmistakably a cell, somewhere high up in the Shinra tower. There were two bunks in it, but when they closed the door behind him he was alone in the room.

For a long moment Cloud just stood there in the dimly lit room, his heart pounding as he listened to the muffled noises coming through the door. He could hear more doors slamming shut, and low voices as either the Turks or the Shinra guards took up their stations outside.

"Cloud?" a familiar voice called, sounding like it came from the right. "Cloud, you there? Are you okay?"

"Zack!" he exclaimed, and all but threw himself against the door. It was solid, no way to see out into the corridor, but apparently it wasn't thick enough to keep them from hearing each other. "I'm okay, but what's..."

"No talking!" a harsh voice barked, and something slammed against Cloud's door. He jumped back, startled, and the guard moved away again.

There was no question that they were being treated as prisoners. Whatever Sephiroth had said in his report back to Shinra, it had caused them to decide to put Zack and Cloud on trial after all. Sometimes, being in the army, it was easy to forget that Sephiroth wasn't actually the final authority in these matters. Their only hope now was if Dr. Lins didn't attempt to implicate them in revenge, or better yet if the scientist admitted the truth about Marek.

Sweating with fear and trying not to shake, Cloud stretched out on one of the hard bunks and stared up at the ceiling. It was still only about mid-day or early afternoon back in the desert, but it had been late night in Midgar when they'd landed. After everything that had happened that day Cloud was exhausted, but he was also too keyed up to sleep.

What was going to happen to them now? It was going to be their word against, well, everyone else's. Everyone who would testify that Marek had been a good captain, well liked and respected among the troops and SOLDIERs alike. Everyone who would swear that there was no way they could ever believe that Marek had been the traitor.

Thinking like this was going to get him nowhere, Cloud knew. There was nothing he could do about it now, and if he worked himself into a nervous fit then he wasn't exactly going to seem believable in court.

He'd chosen the right-hand bunk to lie on, just to make him feel a little closer to Zack. On impulse he reached out and knocked softly on the wall, just once.

Almost immediately there was another knock in return. It was quickly followed by a warning thump on the door by the guard, but Cloud hadn't intended to try actual communication this way. It was enough just to know that Zack was right there on the other side of the wall.

If he closed his eyes and imagined hard, he could almost convince himself he was back in B platoon's barrack. Lying in his bunk there, he'd never been able to see Zack either, but the older boy's presence was always there just above him.

That had been a simpler time, when he and Zack were both just privates together and still full of dreams of taking SOLDIER by storm. He wished they could go back to that, to the days when they hadn't had to struggle just to find time to be together, let alone time alone together. Back before Zack had been forced to treat Cloud like he was breakable, because he _was_ breakable. Before there had been that anguished look deep in Zack's eyes every time he looked at Cloud.

One hand pressed against the wall between them, Cloud drifted off to sleep with memories of that time firmly in his mind. He just had to hold on to that sense of peace until the trial, somehow.

It was three days before the Turks finally came for him, and by then Cloud really _was_ a nervous wreck. He and Zack had never been allowed to speak to each other in all that time, nor had they been permitted to ask their guards about what was going on outside. For all Cloud knew, Dr. Lins had already been tried and named them as his accomplices. He was pretty sure Zack had been taken to testify the day before, but that was all he knew.

Someone had told him once that civilians had to wait weeks or even months before their trial would come up in court. Cloud couldn't imagine having to wait that long, if he was already this nervous after just three days. Thank Bahamut the military's unofficial motto of 'hurry up and wait' didn't extend to courts martial.

It wasn't what he'd expected. Cloud's only experience with courts up to that point had been on TV or in the movies, with a judge and jury set up in a fancy room. The court martial was simply a group of high-ranking officers and Shinra officials lined up at a table, and one smaller table across from them where the prosecutor and his assistant sat. There was no jury and no witnesses, no elaborate stand for the judges. There wasn't even a 'defence', simply the captain who was to serve as the prosecution and examine the witnesses.

At the long table Cloud was startled to realize he recognized most of the people. Heidigger was there, and President Shinra. A blonde woman Cloud had never seen before and who looked terribly out of place in an evening gown sat beside the president, and on her other side was Dr. Hojo. Sephiroth sat next to Heidigger, his face as expressionless as if he was on parade. Cloud could take no comfort or reassurance from him. The last two were the head of the SOLDIERs and the head of the troops, Sephiroth's two second-in-commands.

That, more than anything, scared Cloud. Usually courts martial were conducted with officers no higher than perhaps a major as the judges. High-ranking officials like this didn't have the time to waste on military policing problems. Of course, they were probably here more for Dr. Lins' trial than for Zack and Cloud, but their presence was still more than a little intimidating.

The Turks led Cloud to stand to one side, so that everyone would be able to see him. He saluted towards Sephiroth from sheer habit, and for some reason that made Heidigger, the president and the strange woman chuckle. Sephiroth merely nodded. "At ease, corporal," the general murmured, his voice as neutral as his expression. Cloud moved to parade rest, staring straight ahead at the opposite wall and not letting himself look at either the judges or the two military lawyers.

"State your name, rank and company for the record," the prosecutor said.

It took Cloud two tries before his voice would work, and it still cracked embarrassingly when he spoke. "Cloud Strife, corporal, omega company," he replied, still not looking away from the wall.

"In your own words, corporal, report on the events that occurred three days ago in the Gold Saucer desert," the prosecutor ordered him.

This time Cloud's voice didn't break, though it did shake a little as he went through the story once again. Three days with nothing to do but think had given him a lot of time to go over it all in his mind, trying to keep the details sharp so he wouldn't forget some bit of information that would be crucial to proving their innocence.

It was a long story, made longer by the fact that the prosecutor continually interrupted him with questions. How had he known the sandstorm was coming? How exactly had they come across the ravine? Why hadn't anyone previously discovered its existence? Why had he and Zack split up? What made him decide to hide and listen to the conversation? Could he confirm that Captain Marek was definitely the man who had spoken to Dr. Lins? What exactly had the captain said to him?

On and on, until Cloud's voice was cracking from dryness rather than fear. The judges' reactions, when Cloud dared to glance at them, covered a range of emotions. Sephiroth and his 2ICs remained impassive; Heidigger seemed to find the whole thing one big joke, and the unknown woman was amused by it all as well. The president seemed bored more than anything, and distracted as if his mind was elsewhere. Hojo...

Hojo made Cloud nervous, even more so than usual. The scientist was watching everything as if he was examining a new and somewhat unpleasant sample on a slide under a microscope.

Finally he'd made it through the whole story, answering the prosecutor's questions as best he could. When they reached the end Cloud breathed a quiet sigh of relief that he'd managed to get through it all without tripping over himself or making it sound like he was making everything up.

Unfortunately, he'd relaxed too soon. "Corporal," the prosecutor said as he studied Cloud, "you said the captain claimed to be helping Dr. Lins in an effort to return the SOLDIER program to its former position of glory, is that correct?"

Struggling to remember Marek's exact words, Cloud cleared his throat. He'd been a bit too caught up in the fact that he was probably about to die to memorize Marek's speech word for word. "He said the standards for SOLDIER had fallen to the point where he was almost ashamed to call himself one," he replied, "and that being able to save people from the monsters would make being a SOLDIER mean something again."

"A logical fallacy if I've ever heard one, but then from the way you describe him he was clearly not sane." The lawyer smiled, an oily kind of smile that made Cloud even more nervous. "Interesting that none of his psych profiles ever showed evidence of such a thing."

Not sure if that was a question or not, Cloud chose not to answer. What could he say? Obviously Marek had been very good at hiding his instability. He _had_ been a good captain; there was a reason his troops liked him so much. But it was his very dedication to his troops and to SOLDIER in general that had caused him to regard Cloud and Zack as such a threat to what he saw as the declining standards of the Shinra military that he was so proud of.

"You also claim that Captain Marek implied that he deliberately set 1st Lieutenant Zack up to receive his mako injections too early," the prosecutor continued smoothly. Cloud blinked. Had he said that? It made sense, now that it had been pointed out to him. Marek had mentioned not being able to rid himself of Zack directly, and they knew conclusively now that Marek _had_ been aware that Zack had been a SOLDIER for less than a year. Surely he'd known about the potential consequences of receiving the second injections too early.

"Yes sir, I guess he did imply that," Cloud agreed. It made him even more angry at the captain, that he could have deliberately inflicted that kind of agony on Zack.

"And then he went after you when he was unable to rid himself of the lieutenant," the prosecutor continued, and Cloud nodded. "So basically you're saying that the captain had it in for the two of you, specifically."

"Yes, sir," Cloud agreed again, cautiously. The man was too smug, there was some kind of trap here that Cloud wasn't seeing. "It does seem that way."

"Tell me, corporal. And please remember that your oath of service to Shinra compels you to speak the truth in this court. Are you or have you ever been involved in an inappropriate relationship with Lieutenant Zack, your commanding officer?"

Choking at the unexpected question, Cloud broke parade rest and turned his head to stare at the man. "What?" Even in his first report to Sephiroth, Cloud had said that Marek had referred to him as Zack's 'friend' rather than the far too incriminating 'boytoy'. Besides which, Cloud had been certain he would never be able to get that word out without dying of embarrassment.

Still smiling, the prosecutor repeated his question. "Are you and the lieutenant engaging in sexual relations, corporal? It's a simple yes or no question."

Cloud's mind spun in frantic little circles, and he stared helplessly back at the man. If he told the truth, Zack could be facing a whole new set of charges. Homosexual activities of any kind were officially strongly frowned upon by the military, though in practice Zack and Cloud were hardly the first squadmates to fool around. Fraternizing with a subordinate was an entirely different and much more serious matter, however. The moment Zack had been promoted to SOLDIER his relationship with Cloud had become strictly illegal by Shinra's rules.

Worse, what if they'd asked Zack the same question? If Zack had lied and convinced them and then Cloud turned around and told the truth, it would make things worse still for Zack. On the other hand if Zack had admitted it and Cloud tried to bluff, it would show Cloud up as a liar and nothing else he'd said would be given credit.

Standing there staring stupidly wasn't helping his case, either. Finally Cloud decided there was only one thing he could do that he would be able to live with later. Drawing himself back into a textbook parade rest position, he answered the question. "Yes, sir." He wasn't ashamed of what he and Zack had done together, and he wouldn't act like it. Hopefully they either hadn't asked Zack, or he had also told the truth. Cloud was pretty sure he would have, for the same reasons Cloud was doing it now.

There weren't any shocked or scandalized murmurs from the judges' table, at least. That probably meant they were already aware of it, one way or another, and if Cloud had lied they'd have known it. That made him feel marginally better.

"Then isn't it true, corporal, that the real reason you killed Captain Marek was because he knew of or was close to discovering your relationship, and you didn't want him to report it to Shinra?" the prosecutor asked.

"Huh?" Cloud looked at him again, completely shocked at the very idea. The prosecutor was already continuing, ploughing right over Cloud's sputtered attempts at denial.

"Captain Marek was in fact out investigating the ravine when you came across him that day, wasn't he corporal?" the man demanded, not giving Cloud a chance to answer. "You encountered him just after discovering Dr. Lins in the ravine, and decided it was a prime opportunity to rid yourself of him. Didn't you?"

Finally Cloud found his voice. "Sir, no _sir_ ," he said, and this time his voice was shaking with outrage. "I'm fairly certain Captain Marek did know about us, sir. If he was going to report us for it, he'd have done it a long time ago."

"So why didn't he, then?" the prosecutor asked with a raised eyebrow. "If he had it in for the two of you, as you claim. Surely that would have been a convenient way to rid himself of you."

"I... I don't know, sir," Cloud admitted. "Maybe because something like that would have just lowered public opinion of SOLDIERs even further. Or maybe it wasn't personal enough."

"You're not here to speculate, corporal, just to answer questions," the lawyer told him. "You can't give a concrete reason why he would have failed to report your relationship if he'd already known about it and had it in for you as you claim, is that correct?"

"Yes, sir," Cloud was forced to say.

Satisfied, the man nodded. "Dismissed, corporal. Take him back to the cell block," he ordered the Turks.

Cloud's heart felt like it had sunk to about the level of his feet as the Turks not-so-gently 'guided' him back to the cell level. It was just as he'd feared; the idea that Captain Marek was the mole was too farfetched for people to believe in. Much easier to believe that Cloud and Zack had killed the man for their own reasons and then attempted to cover it up by taking the opportunity to claim Marek was the informant.

To his surprise, however, the Turks led him to Zack's cell instead of his own. "Cloud!" the older boy exclaimed as the door slammed shut again behind him, and Zack caught him in a hug.

"What?" Cloud replied intelligently, trying to figure out what was going on. "Why'd they put me in here?" Not that he was complaining. He wrapped his arms around Zack in turn and clung tightly, half afraid the Turks would realize they'd made a mistake and come to remove him again.

"I convinced them there was no reason to keep separating us now that they didn't have to worry about us 'getting our stories straight'," Zack said as he pulled back with a grin.

"What did you have to bribe them with?" Cloud asked suspiciously.

"Bribe them?" Zack gave him an innocent look. "What makes you think they didn't do it out of the goodness of their hearts?"

"Zack, they're _Turks_ ," Cloud replied in exasperation. Zack laughed, and tugged him over to one of the bunks.

"Zack! They're probably watching us," Cloud protested when the older boy tried to get him to sit with his back to Zack's chest, cradled between Zack's legs.

"So? They already know," Zack shrugged. "Didn't they ask you about us? You didn't try to lie, did you?"

"No, I told the truth," Cloud said, sighing with relief that Zack had apparently done the same. He relaxed and let Zack pull him down into the embrace, tilting his head back to rest it on the older boy's shoulder as Zack's arms closed around him. It was times like this that he was a little glad he was still smaller than Zack. This wouldn't have been nearly as comfortable if they'd been the same size.

"Me, too," Zack confirmed. "I figured they wouldn't have bothered asking unless they had proof of it anyway. Besides, the worst they can do to me for sleeping with you is a dishonourable discharge, not jail. That's something Sephiroth _does_ have final say on, and I don't think he'd sign off on it. He's known about us since the glacier, I'm pretty sure, and he's never seemed to disapprove."

Closing his eyes, Cloud breathed deeply of the scent of his best friend and tried to forget the fact that they were locked in a cell and possibly facing murder charges. "I just hope this whole mess doesn't kill my chances of getting into SOLDIER," he said. "Even if they acquit us, it could still be a pretty big black mark on my record. And it's Heidigger that has final say about SOLDIER, isn't it?"

"Him and Hojo, yeah," Zack agreed. He sighed, his chest rising and falling beneath Cloud and his breath stirring Cloud's hair. "But Sephiroth's word carries a hell of a lot of weight. One thing Marek was right about; with all the monsters around the SOLDIERs really are going to be necessary again. They'll need everyone they can get."

His voice turned apologetic. "Cloud, I never got a chance..."

"Don't," Cloud cut him off firmly, thumping him on the thigh with one fist. Zack made a startled noise, and Cloud shook his head. "You think I don't know what you were about to say? Don't apologize about me missing the exams. Even if I'd left you to go write it, I'd still have failed because I'd have been too busy worrying about you to be able to concentrate."

"But that's still my fault," Zack murmured, burying his face in Cloud's hair. "I..."

"Stop it!" Exasperated, Cloud thumped him again, harder this time. Twisting so he could look up at the older boy, Cloud glared at him. "Just stop, Zack. The only thing you're going to do by dragging around being sorry about it is to keep rubbing my nose in the fact that it happened at all. Do you _want_ me to end up as bitter and morose about it as I was last year when I failed? Like you told me then, there's always next year, right?"

"Yeah, but now I'm 2nd Class, and even stronger than I was before," Zack said. "If I hurt you again, I'll never forgive myself."

"We managed before, we'll be fine now," Cloud said firmly. "So just stop bringing it up, and stop looking at me like you're afraid I'm going to resent you. You're too important to me for me to let something like this make me hate you."

Impulsively Zack hugged him tight, though he was still careful not to hurt Cloud. "See? What did I tell you from the very start? I knew I needed you around to knock me over the head when I'm doing something stupid." He laughed softly.

"You need _somebody_ to do it, anyway," Cloud muttered, elbowing him gently in the ribs. "You're just lucky you're almost as good at talking yourself out of trouble as you are at talking your way into it in the first place."

"Yeah. Hopefully that luck holds in this situation," Zack grimaced. There was nothing to say to that, so Cloud laid his head back on Zack's shoulder and stayed quiet.

They sat there like that for a long time, just enjoying each other's presence in a way they didn't often have a chance to do. When the door finally opened and interrupted them, Cloud assumed it was the guard bringing their meals.

Instead he felt Zack go tense against him, and when Cloud glanced up he was shocked to see none other than the Silver General standing in the cell doorway.

"General Sephiroth!" They both scrambled to their feet and snapped him a salute, which he returned.

"At ease," Sephiroth said, and they went to parade rest. Cloud's heart was pounding in his chest again, so hard he was almost surprised it didn't burst right out of him.

"The court martial has been concluded," Sephiroth continued, and Cloud tensed further. "The evidence was sufficient to convict Dr. Lins as the perpetrator of the monsters spreading, and Captain Marek as the informant."

Beside him Cloud heard Zack let his breath out in a rush, as if the older boy had been holding it. The sound reminded Cloud that it would probably be a good idea if _he_ started breathing again too, and he had to stifle a gasp. Sephiroth smiled slightly.

"Does that mean we've been acquitted of all charges, sir?" Zack asked boldly.

"Not exactly," Sephiroth replied. "Captain Marek's death has been determined to be self defence on your parts. Certain... other matters brought up during the investigation are still outstanding, however."

Wincing mentally, Cloud prepared himself for the worst. Zack was going to be facing another court martial for his relationship with Cloud after all.

To his surprise, Sephiroth's next words weren't a formal charge against Zack. "The entire matter has been classified at the highest level, of course," the general informed them. "In order to preserve public opinion of Shinra and the SOLDIERs, Shinra can't afford to let this become public knowledge. Officially, none of this ever happened. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir!" Zack said gladly, saluting again.

It took Cloud a moment longer to work through it, but he finally got what the general was getting at. If none of it had ever officially happened, then they couldn't use Zack and Cloud's admissions in the court martial against them. After all, according to the record, there had never _been_ any admissions. Zack couldn't be prosecuted on the basis of what had happened during the trial.

"Yes, sir," he echoed Zack, saluting as well. They would all have to continue acting as if nobody knew the truth about him and Zack, but so long as they did so there would be no reprisals against them.

"Unfortunately, I'm afraid I won't be able to keep my promise about getting the two of you leave," Sephiroth said. "There's been a minor insurgence in one of the southern parts of Wutai, a group of rebels the government claims to have no knowledge of. We'll be heading out as soon as the two of you have collected your gear."

With that he turned and left, leaving Cloud staring after him. "We?" he repeated weakly, shocked. "We get court martialed for killing our CO, and end up under Sephiroth's direct command?" He'd been expecting to be assigned to the worst duties for quite a while as a result of all this, maybe even to be split up from Zack.

"Who else would take us?" Zack shrugged, grinning. "Acquitted or not, a lot of the 1st Class will be nervous about having us in their command for a while. This way he doesn't have to split us up, or put us under the command of someone who doesn't want us."

"But...!" Cloud shook his head, unable to come up with a coherent objection. "Working directly with _Sephiroth_? That's... we're... holy _shit_ , Zack!"

"I know," Zack agreed, his eyes sparkling with more than just the mako glow. "Now come on, let's not keep him waiting. And I for one am sick of these four walls!"

He grabbed Cloud around the shoulders and ruffled the younger boy's hair vigorously, despite Cloud's protests and the fist he got in the ribs in response. Laughing, Zack finally released him and ducked out the door into the corridor, giving their surly-looking guard a jaunty wave as he passed.

There was nothing Cloud could do but follow him. He didn't think he would ever get used to Zack's seeming endless energy, but he wasn't sure he wanted to get used to it either. It was kind of nice to be surprised by it at times.

"Oh yeah! Happy birthday, kid," Zack said as they entered the elevator. When Cloud stared at him blankly, he chuckled. "You're really bad at keeping track of dates, aren't you? Congratulations, you're finally old enough to sign up for the army."

"I am?" Cloud asked, bemused. Could it really be his birthday already? Trying to add up the days in his head just got him hopelessly confused, but he supposed he could probably take Zack's word for it. So he was finally sixteen, and he wouldn't have to lie about his age any more.

"Should we stop by a recruiting office on our way out of town?" Zack teased him, still laughing. "After all, you've been waiting so patiently to be old enough..."

"Oh, stuff it," Cloud replied, shoving the bigger boy hard enough to make him stagger into the wall. He was laughing too, though. How could he not? There was something horribly funny about being assigned to Sephiroth's direct command on the day he should have been signing up for the first time. He'd already achieved more in his military career than most people ever would, and he hadn't even been officially old enough to be there.

Which just went to show that maybe he really was cut out for it, after all. He was as old now as Zack had been when they'd first met, hard as it was to believe. He might not have accomplished everything he'd wanted to when he set out from home, most notably that he wasn't a SOLDIER yet, but he still had time.

"Let's go," he said as the elevator stopped and the doors opened. "We've got a mission to do."

"That's the spirit!" Zack exclaimed, clapping him on the shoulder as he stepped past Cloud out the door. "Race you to the SOLDIER compound!" He took off running before Cloud had a chance to answer.

Laughing, knowing there was no way he would ever be able to outrun a SOLDIER but not willing to just concede the race to Zack without even trying, Cloud chased after him. "You jerk! One of these days I'm going to beat you, and you won't be so smug then!"

"One of these days, I'm sure you will," Zack agreed over his shoulder with a grin. "And I'll be right there at your back to see it."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Broken Glass](https://archiveofourown.org/works/260348) by [Cephy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cephy/pseuds/Cephy)




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